I would act polite to their face but inside I would squirm and want to vom everywhere. I would suppress this feeling and try so hard to replace it with love.
It never worked too well.
Now what I do is accept that disgust and meditate on the revulsion I feel โ trying to expand it. This skin is disgusting too; this body is disgusting too; this world is disgusting too. What should I feel revulsion for? How can I apply this sense of revulsion in healthy ways?
My old exercise created a constricting feeling of resentment towards someone for ruining the aesthetics of my world and for ruining what I believed my capacity for love was. My new exercise is honest, refreshing, more equanimous, more expansive and results in compassion without having to lie to myself.
Give it a try!
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"Equanimous" sounds like a black guy name. Equanimous Jackson
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I've got something for you
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vs
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