With only a glance I knew I had laid my eyes on something horribly wrong.
His eyes locked with mine and I let out an involuntary shriek of pure terror gasp of surprise. Ron, the guy manning aisle 5 came over to see why I screamed "Hotep what's wron- AAAAAH!" 
Ron shrieked in horror too, pointing in bewilderment at the anathema before us. 
The heck spawn was completely stoic in the face of our shock and despair. "What the frick are you pointing at r-slur? Get back to work." he barked at Ron with a voice that sounded flat out like OG Pizza on helium.
"Yes Sir! Ron said with a salute 
and then scurried 
to his post. I looked to his mother hoping she'd reprimand him for his behavior but I was shocked to see that she was doting on him, clearly pleased with his response. 
I noticed he was holding a action figure in his hands, "Uh hey little buddy who's that? I asked.
He proudly held out his yellow action figure, "THIS IS CONSTANTINE VALDOR. He fought beside the emperor of mankind during the unification wars, great crusade, and the Horus heresy! He's the greatest custodes of all time!" 
"Oh a 40k fan huh? My favorite chapter is the black templars." I paused wondering how he would react to my perfectly placed bait.
PizzaShillet huffed with indignation 
"What are you stupid? The black templars aren't a chapter." That was word for word the exact response Pizza gave me. I nearly felt like I would faint from the revelation.
The woman, sensing my unease, spoke, "Excuse me sir you wouldn't happen to know about Pizzashill would you? He used to work here." She asked me in a sweet tone but there was an air of danger to her voice and within her unblinking eyes I could see the insanity dwelling beneath her unassuming surface.
"I uhhh- " 
I was gobsmacked and looked back to the break room windows hoping for a sign from Pizza on what to do. Looking back at me Pizzas looked between the smallest gap in the blinds directly into my eyes unblinking with a slight shake of his head. "DON'T." The message was clear. I looked back at the woman and nearly shrieked in horror again. She was standing directly in front of me inches away, her soulless black eyes staring 
into mine as if she could reach into my mind and snatch away the information she needed.
"Ew mom get out his face! This is why I fricking hate foids." Sighed an exhausted looking Minishill who seemed to be oblivious to the current predicament.
"I KNOW YOU'VE SEEN HIM. HE'S MINE. I NEED HIM. I WILL KILL EVERYONE IN THIS STORE IF I HAVE TO!" 
the womans voice seemed to morph into multiple voices as a sudden tremor shook the building and the lights began to flicker. Other shoppers began to clutch their heads as if they had a headache, some vomited, others collappsed. The store was filled with panicked screams. I had to think fast.
"…Oooooh! You mean that pizza! Yeah he uhhh… he moved to Britain with his girlfriend. Yep he hasn't worked here in years."
The woman looked at me for what seemed to be an eternity but then suddenly the tremors stopped, the lights came back on, and some of the shoppers returned to their feet.
"Thank you. It's so nice to meet a good man who tells the truth for once." 
"C'mon pizza junior." The two began walking off with their unpaid groceries.
"Bye Pizza jr." I waved.
The boy turned and met my gaze for a silent minute. "I hate rightoids" he declared, and left with his mother.
Afterwards Pizza made me pour salt around the store and told me she probably won't come back. The salt was taken out of my salary. 
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