I know this isn't the best place to ask but have any of you went from shut in to always out?
Is there any books you would recommend, ways to find events /places to go, and beginner tips? I no longer want to spent my nights at home. I want to go experience more of what the world has to offer and I don't want to come off as the social maladjusted sperg I am
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You gotta jump in and look stupid. Just talk to anyone like you're an old man. Waiter, someone at the book store, the person you're standing in line with, coworker. Ask questions if you don't know what to say. If they look uncomfortable, don't ask that question to anyone else. You're going to look really stupid and weird and that's the only way you can do it. Normal people did all this as children and teenagers and even people who think they're neurodivergent start to get social muscle memory after enough exposure.
This does not mean you just sperg with no effort like you'll get passive Vidya game experience, you have to pay attention, not in an neurodivergent note taking way, but in a "do I feel bad" way. It's there. Anyone who tells you it isn't is a liar.
In combination with that, you gotta put yourself out there. Hobbies, groups, yoga classes. When you start, it's best to try stuff that's kind of far away from you - work your way towards your own geographic location. If you feel like you fricked up your yoga class or whatever, you don't have to go back. Go to bars and stuff alone if you have to - just go, have a single beer, listen to the shitty band play for 15 minutes, and leave, go to an art gallery, whatever- it's better than nothing and now you have a potential story and experience to communicate with someone. It can be useful even if it's mundane because being able to (genuinely) chime in that you ALSO hate bar peanuts is way better than not having anything to say at the water cooler the next day. Things you can truthfully say, people can usually read honesty, it tickles their lizard brains. The yoga class you never went back to is also a great dumb small talk story.
You will start to get invited to stuff, start to get friends, the more you do the faster this will happen.
The problem with this is, you need to do it before you are 30. The closer you get to 30, the more this stuff doesn't work well and the more you are fricked. And don't do it, get some friends, then sperg depress again and suddenly realize you're 30 and burned through more sets of friends you thought you would never have. Don't be afraid to ditch new friends either, as long as you are making new ones.
And don't be fricking fat. Jesus Christ.
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