So, as I mentioned here before, my life has gone down the drain 
. I'm physically and mentally sick 
. This has lead me to conversations with people who are suffering like me.
Recently talked with a guy who is slowly going blind (Keratoconus) looking for a painless way to go out. He had apparently tried to approach VAD (voluntary assissted suicide) clinics in Switzerland 
but realised he was not eligible (young and no life threatening illness). Like this one.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignitas_(non-profit_organisation)
Dignitas is a Swiss non-profit organization providing physician-assisted suicide to members with terminal illness or severe physical or mental illness, supported by independent Swiss doctors. By the end of 2020, they had assisted 3,248 people with suicide at home within Switzerland and at Dignitas' house/flat near Zürich.[1] They provide advisory work on palliative care, health care advance directives, suicide attempt prevention, and legislation for right-to-die laws around the world.
Interesting stuff 
.
So now, he's looking into south american countries like mexico and colombia because one can get pentobarbital (drug used in assisted suicides) at pet shops there.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_tourism
A drug known as liquid pentobarbital, which is used by owners to euthanize pets, can give a person a painless death in under one hour. Due to the drug's availability at pet shops, tourists seeking to end their lives were reported to be flying from around the world to Mexico.
He says he has some money saved up and will travel in 2 months or so 
. Honestly, I didn't even a say lot to encourage him to live which says a lot about how far I've sunk psychologically. I sympathised with him and mustered up some words about how I hoped he can get some treatment 
that fix his issue but that's about it 
.
I also joined a telegram group comprised mostly of socialist guys from slavic countries and a few from the middle east and latin american countries 
. Nothing particularly interesting there. Just thought I share 
.
So, how have you guys been?
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Did you ever read that story about that guy who went to Tijuana to kill himself but instead got sucked into doing drugs and partying with hookers until he realized he wanted to live?
Heartwarming !moidmoment
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It's a famous reddit story. Of course, I've read it
.
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I guess you could say you've reddit before
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So you surround yourself with mentally and physically unfit individuals and expect that to make things better?
I really never understand why people do this.
Surround yourself with people you want to be like - not those suffering from the same problems as you.
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I didn't intend to. Just stumbled onto them while searching for other stuff. Tbh, Successful folk don't want to surround themselves with losers like me as well. I honestly don't see a lot of lifting others up thing going on here.
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Of course not, because you act like a loser.
No one wants to be around people who only talk about their mental problems or thoughts of suicide all the fricking time. It's insufferable.
Start acting like a normal person and people will naturally want to be around you.
Has nothing to do with explicitly "lifting people up" and more to do with not being insufferable.
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You're saying this to a dramatard
.
Tbf, I don't act this miserable irl. Maybe introverted but not miserable. It's only been in the past few months I've been collapsing (mostly internally).
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This is why things like alcoholics anonymous tend to be religious in nature. If those drunks just talked about how fricked alcohol has made their life the entire time, meetings would spiral and people would be worse off. Instead, they turn to the service of God as it's just something to be in service of.
Distraction basically. A mental overcoming of the problem by filling the wallowing with something else.
Ideally, you just "get over it" and feel better about your situation by changing your outlook. That's not as impossible as online communities like to purport but it is very difficult, and quadruple so if you're surrounded by people saying it is.
But it's not easy and if you want something easier, you find something to distract yourself with until the main problem isn't as concerning. Exercise is a common suggestion because you can't be too in your head while you're physically exerting yourself but I found treating video games like a job helped me get over my alcoholism.
Good luck OP. Situations are never as bad as they are in your head and I hope we both remember that.
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Sweaty even fat and ugly people have friends and happy lives.
Then stop.
You have to put in effort to mentally train yourself not to collapse.
It's not easy, it doesn't happen overnight and it's painful to get through.
But you'll be much better off afterwards.
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I know man, I know and I am trying. Honestly.
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just tell him to kill himself bro
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This is why I post here, so I can hang out with self-made multimillionaire MIT grad WFH coders and bankers.
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Don't worry sweety you can finally afford MIT.
They finally opened it up to Poors.
https://news.mit.edu/2024/mit-tuition-undergraduates-family-income-1120
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Excuse you. Some of us are fricking generationally wealthy astronauts who went to Yale
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!prayerwarriors Prayers needed for our depressed rdrama neighbors.
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why go through all that trouble
when u can buy a cheap 
shotgun 
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It's probably easier to travel to mexico than buy a shotgun in India.
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oh hes an indian
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I'd go to Colombia and go out in a blaze of hooker and cocaine fueled glory
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i thought its a sad story but now having imagined it with an indian accent its funny
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he's so funny and cool and awesome
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I doubt it's that hard to make one if it only has to survive one shot at point blank range
Maybe the process will give him a hobby he can find meaning in
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Step 1: Find train tracks
Step 2: Wait
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only cowards kill themselves. Real neighbors make their problems everyone elses.
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Ummm username does NOT check out
But seriously find some hobbies that really interest you and immerse yourself in those. If any of those hobbies involve getting offline and into your local community, all the better. A sense of purpose/meaning does wonders. God bless.
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This would be solid advice if I was a westoid but I'm a poor dude in India
.
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Ok yeah that sounds unpleasant. But none of my suggestions really cost much and have to be somewhat applicable to India.
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I have a bad mental vicious cycle going on. If I do something that's not actively helping me get a job I feel guilty. I have limited options right now and I'm attending a course in hopes of landing a job in a few months. But it's a boring/soul sucking field and me being depressed makes it hard to focus. So I don't even study properly. The only good thing is I'm doing better than my peers here but I'm still not confident of landing a job once its over
.
And I'm so broke I'm eating only one or two meals a day.
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Have you considered sexually harassing white women on the fricking Internet
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How do hobbies give you purpose/meaning? They help you release dopamine, but doing things for enjoyment doesn't necessarily lead to a positive societal change or give you a good social, family, or romantic life
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The Lord works in mysterious ways my friend.
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I feel empty
and my existence seems only to make others happy 
and have easier lives 
without me ever getting a slice 
of the cake. I'm fairly 
certain I'll die old full of regret 
and feeling unfulfilled. I endure because I feel like I owe my ancestors that much for the hardships they had to endure and I have a deep curiosity 
for how the world 
will turn out in the years to come.
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It sucks that being a people pleaser is often a sadder existence than being a hedonist
Though you're probably aware of this, it's still a huge plus to provide a positive impact to other people's lives. I'm sure many of the people in your life appreciate you for it
, but it's a shame that your helpfulness hasn't given you any tangible benefits 
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I'd first
suffer so others can thrive. I do it because it feels 
right, it feels 
correct, but I still would 
like to receive some benefit which makes me feel guilt.
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Are they looking for
too?
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No. They're poor(except a few) but not suicidal.
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If you're ever serious about killing yourself, consider becoming a domestic terrorist/assassin instead.
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Hello stoicfriend,
I think everyone has been in a bad place mentally at some point in life. No one understands your particular situation, but I think knowing that you are depressed and need something to focus on is a good indication that you are aware and don't want to frag yourself. Personally, I think focusing on a personal goal is what works for me. I always have a goal of some sorts to focus on. Maybe think about it and many hugs from burgarland rural georgia.
Krayon sexually assaulted his sister.
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Thank you! One can only hope that I'm only in a temporary bad phase in life and haven't permanently fricked it.
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You are a tremendous artist arsey, take pride in yourself
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Hello friend, you must be smokin the dope cuz art is not my strong suit at all lol. I'm actually terrible at art and style and all those things of that nature.
Krayon sexually assaulted his sister.
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Didn't you make those goofy meta cartoons?
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No, I haven't made any Marseys or cartoons. I'm no good at that stuff. lol
Krayon sexually assaulted his sister.
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There are like a million ways to keep yourself safe, why travel to mexico for it
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I explain it in my post
.
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I only read half of it
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Man, you know that happiness is a choice right? You have everything that's needed to be happy and it's exclusively up to you to use those things. It sucks that you're not well, moreover it's unfair, but nobody ever has everything in order and has his life 100% sorted out. Things aren't ok, and that's ok. If it's one thing not going to plan right now then you can be assured in a month it will be another, there'a no point in being bothered by these things beyond the extent of your abilities to change it. Instead appreciate the things you have now and look forwars to things in the future. I for one am looking forward to having a nice 10 hour sleep, a potential hike tomorrow and visit my friends and family for Christmas in a month. And if you don't have things to look forward to then start planning them you dumbass, and don't bail out on their execution due to laziness.
And I don't get the blind guy either. Sure, it's horrible, but thinking that this warrants killing oneself is absurd. A quick search says that there are about 43 million blind people on earth right now, surely they have something in their lives that keeps them going, despite their condition? Wouldn't make much sense to stay alive otherwise, the only explanation is that there are things that bring them more joy than their blindness detract from in their life. And even looking at it objectively, we're at the cutting edge of medicine, so many ilnesses that were discovered to have cure or be reversed. What's it to say that there won't be some new tech or medical development in the near future that significantly improves his quality of life?
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Also
@Nightcrawler I'm sure you have some smart-butt remarks on the topic of the thread. It's your specialty
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I don't think I've ever been a smartass towards people with suicidal ideation.
WDYM?
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I'm saying you probably have a take on the subject
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Not much beyond what's been said - get offline, surround yourself with healthier people, change your internal narrative through prayer or
mantras/CBT techniques 
@Stoicpeace happy to talk 1:1 during the week unfortunately I'm busy this weekend. Will pray for you!
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Thank you for your offer and Prayers my man. God bless your soul.
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still unemployed then?
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Probably my biggest problem
is I don't internalize my accomplishments. It feels 
fundamentally wrong 
for me to be proud 
when other people have less which leads me to feel shame 
and guilt. My motivation to show others fidelity, veracity, and justice 
is based 
more on a sense of it being the correct 
thing to do vs doing it because it makes me feel good. Not sure how to untangle that spaghetti shitshow of neural pathways.
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Technically, I do agree with you. A lot of it is our dreams and expectations. The blind guy told me he was on a great upwards trajectory before he got diagnosed. He has even made some money on crypto which is why he is looking into expensive options for suicide as he has the money.
But getting all your dreams crushed after getting so close to it is painful and a tough, tough pill to swallow. Especially if you put in all the hard work.
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I've been great!
Been exercising and working (probably too much), so I did leave my 3rd job. Now I'm at 60 hours per week.
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Is he on cornea recipient list?
TBH I've always been on right to die side of debate, it should be last resort but still.
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I didn't ask him this. He told me there's no cure. Googling about this implies this treatment is temporary. He told me he's already blind in one eye.
Why do we borrow the worst stuff from the west?
Honestly, I've never thought deeply about this but recent times have made me realise keeping people locked-in in a poor country like ours is cruel.
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How bad are things in India? I mostly know thorough accounts of foreigners who visited it (they weren't positive) but I wonder if Indians like you and
@Sasanka_of_Gauda have a different perspective
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I wouldn't want to be poor here man. There's just no hope it's like a deep well with no ladders. The light is all the more frustrating cause you'll never reach it.
Well my father climbed out but he's built different.
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Has there been some social mobility the past 30 years? 3 of my grandparents came from rural poverty. Even though my grandmother was a whiteoid from a "developed" state (RS) she grew up on a precarious wooden house with no electricity nor plumbing, and she had no shoes. Once every so many years it would snow on her town, she told me her feet almost got frozen walking to the school.
The Northeast of Brazil was probably akin to India, up until the 1990s malnutrition was a huge problem there. Most of the Latin American middle-class if fairly new.
I used to find it funny on American movies when they showed ghetto neighborhoods, and they were basically nicely built apartment blocks, but covered in graffiti, dirty and poorly kept (but weirdly enough much more violent than most large metro areas here).
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Yeah, most of the middle class is new but it's still very tiny and you have to be pretty much top 1% academically to use it to climb socio economically, like my father.
That's surprising, I thought Americas except for bolivia and a few exceptions like that had moderate prosperity by early 20th century. Hopefuel I guess.
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Sounds like 1970s Brazil, but with much more competition on universities as your population is larger. They do tons of filtering don't they?
Rural poverty was awful up to recent decades, but urban poverty was different.
My maternal grandmother was rural but my paternal grandmother came from an urban blue collar background, and her childhood was probably similar to that of working class people in Europe of the time. They rented a small place but it had running water and electricity, they couldn't afford a car but she took the trolley to go to school. When she was a teenager her parents managed to buy a house.
Honestly, the only South American countries with large middle classes by the 1950s were Argentina and Uruguay. All the rest were poor. There were cities in Brazil with a high development but the country as a whole was very rural back in the day.
Bolivia is just one of the latest to catch up, but I find Chile's story more impressive as they managed to surpass Argentina by far.
So yeah, there's hope, but there's also the "middle-income-trap" which LATAM seems to be getting stuck, never becoming fully developed. Still better than what we had 60 years ago.
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Yeah, one of the reasons for my misery is that I have a career gap is so large that it has essentially locked me out of several fields that are major job creators in India.
Sasanka is right about the light at the end of the tunnel being so painful because it is so out of reach for most of us. There's a reason why some Indians spend tens of thousands of dollars and risk their lives to become refugees in the west.
https://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/india/tracing-the-donkey-route-how-thousands-of-indians-risk-lives-each-year-in-pursuit-of-american-dream/articleshow/106300713.cms
And these are people from some of the more better off states in India. So you get the idea of the situation here.
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You should try logging tf off the internet and going for a walk in the park everyday. Even just 40 minutes a day. Jfc. Why are you poisoning yourself.
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YOU'RE BEING HAUNTED BY THE BLINDING MAN.
I WANT TO TELL YOU, OUT OF KINDNESS
without capitalizing to make myself appear more awe-inspiring
in life there are many reasons to stay in the physical world.
there is love，hedonism，hate，masochism，faith，hope，apathy
all of these are good，and just losing one does not mean you lose another.
god/allah/hashem，whatever you want to call Him, made us this way. people believe in christ because his sacrifice stated 'humans deserve to exist'
but above all this there is a more fundamental principle.
THEY want your misery. your misery assists them like the prostitute that once was god's own daughter.
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I'm waiting for the fricking next ghost thread so I can anonymously depression post
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Post it here if you want to fren.
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I'm currently involved in some metadrama and neighbors would love to point and laugh at me I'm sure
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Can you get fluoxetine over the counter in India? If so, and I were you, I would do everything in my power to take one 20mg tablet daily, which are like 2 USD a box if generic, everywhere but the USA. This is not medical advice, but that's what I would do. At least ask chatgpt about it, making it clear you are a poor indian dood with self-harm idealization
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You could do it until recently. I already have medication, tbh taking them make act like a robot. Bigger issue is the social stigma my parents fear(bulk of my problems).
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just lift bro
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Sometimes it gets to all of us. Just take one step at a time and see where it leads you. Who knows what will happen.
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Thanks Losercel
.
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I'm depressed and unwell however now I have people big and small to care about
So I can't just off myself
Funny side take
Been reading MenWritingWomen postd about slav literature
Two months ago fanfic authors of MWW decided to try and cancel Nabokov and give him writing tips
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And they prefer some really vapid alternatives. I don't get it.
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bro i've been telling you: we care don't do it bro. write your diary here daily, i'll be happy to read and respond.
Like if you are thinking of y'alling, like do this unironically: just go somewhere and help people. Like there are sick kids like go give poor people help like if you wanna be gone just literally SELL YOUR POSSESSIONS live like jesus you are loved
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Thank you my man for your kind words.
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anytime like honestly like i cannot imagine being in your shoes but when people say like we literally care it is unironically.
things CAN GET BETTER! like if you are super drunk you cannot imagine being sober, but time will do so.
Like imagine there are people dying in house fires. HORRIBLE! but imagine that you can make a difference just small things.
like you may not see it now, but doing good things for others helps you! and doing good things for YOU helps too!
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Killing yourself alone is the most cucked thing you can do. You literally spend the last moments of your life crying in a dark room that you can't get laid, that you're poor, that no one loves you, that life's too hard or myriad else
If you're going to keep yourself safe pick a few to take with you, the closest modern man can come to a glorious death.
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~
Maybe try using sadsies and negative feeling as fuel. You sound really smart— you can do it!! You've survived all the problems life has thrown at you so far!!!
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Honestly man, good on you. I wanted my story to be just like yours but instead I let my personal troubles break me and it's been a downward spiral for a long time. I've already entered my 30s, I just hope it's not too late.
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I'm sorry if I seemed like I made it all about myself. I'm sure it's not too late for you at all. You survived 3 decades of hardships and I'm sure you'll survive this too. A day at a time... Finish that course and you'll get a job!!!
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You should get railed by BBC, I hear that helps
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Snapshots:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignitas_(non-profit_organisation):
ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_tourism:
ghostarchive.org
archive.org
archive.ph (click to archive)
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