So, as I mentioned here before, my life has gone down the drain 
. I'm physically and mentally sick 
. This has lead me to conversations with people who are suffering like me.
Recently talked with a guy who is slowly going blind (Keratoconus) looking for a painless way to go out. He had apparently tried to approach VAD (voluntary assissted suicide) clinics in Switzerland 
but realised he was not eligible (young and no life threatening illness). Like this one.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dignitas_(non-profit_organisation)
Dignitas is a Swiss non-profit organization providing physician-assisted suicide to members with terminal illness or severe physical or mental illness, supported by independent Swiss doctors. By the end of 2020, they had assisted 3,248 people with suicide at home within Switzerland and at Dignitas' house/flat near Zürich.[1] They provide advisory work on palliative care, health care advance directives, suicide attempt prevention, and legislation for right-to-die laws around the world.
Interesting stuff 
.
So now, he's looking into south american countries like mexico and colombia because one can get pentobarbital (drug used in assisted suicides) at pet shops there.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Suicide_tourism
A drug known as liquid pentobarbital, which is used by owners to euthanize pets, can give a person a painless death in under one hour. Due to the drug's availability at pet shops, tourists seeking to end their lives were reported to be flying from around the world to Mexico.
He says he has some money saved up and will travel in 2 months or so 
. Honestly, I didn't even a say lot to encourage him to live which says a lot about how far I've sunk psychologically. I sympathised with him and mustered up some words about how I hoped he can get some treatment 
that fix his issue but that's about it 
.
I also joined a telegram group comprised mostly of socialist guys from slavic countries and a few from the middle east and latin american countries 
. Nothing particularly interesting there. Just thought I share 
.
So, how have you guys been?
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Man, you know that happiness is a choice right? You have everything that's needed to be happy and it's exclusively up to you to use those things. It sucks that you're not well, moreover it's unfair, but nobody ever has everything in order and has his life 100% sorted out. Things aren't ok, and that's ok. If it's one thing not going to plan right now then you can be assured in a month it will be another, there'a no point in being bothered by these things beyond the extent of your abilities to change it. Instead appreciate the things you have now and look forwars to things in the future. I for one am looking forward to having a nice 10 hour sleep, a potential hike tomorrow and visit my friends and family for Christmas in a month. And if you don't have things to look forward to then start planning them you dumbass, and don't bail out on their execution due to laziness.
And I don't get the blind guy either. Sure, it's horrible, but thinking that this warrants killing oneself is absurd. A quick search says that there are about 43 million blind people on earth right now, surely they have something in their lives that keeps them going, despite their condition? Wouldn't make much sense to stay alive otherwise, the only explanation is that there are things that bring them more joy than their blindness detract from in their life. And even looking at it objectively, we're at the cutting edge of medicine, so many ilnesses that were discovered to have cure or be reversed. What's it to say that there won't be some new tech or medical development in the near future that significantly improves his quality of life?
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Also
@Nightcrawler I'm sure you have some smart-butt remarks on the topic of the thread. It's your specialty
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I don't think I've ever been a smartass towards people with suicidal ideation.
WDYM?
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I'm saying you probably have a take on the subject
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Not much beyond what's been said - get offline, surround yourself with healthier people, change your internal narrative through prayer or
mantras/CBT techniques 
@Stoicpeace happy to talk 1:1 during the week unfortunately I'm busy this weekend. Will pray for you!
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Thank you for your offer and Prayers my man. God bless your soul.
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still unemployed then?
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Probably my biggest problem
is I don't internalize my accomplishments. It feels 
fundamentally wrong 
for me to be proud 
when other people have less which leads me to feel shame 
and guilt. My motivation to show others fidelity, veracity, and justice 
is based 
more on a sense of it being the correct 
thing to do vs doing it because it makes me feel good. Not sure how to untangle that spaghetti shitshow of neural pathways.
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Technically, I do agree with you. A lot of it is our dreams and expectations. The blind guy told me he was on a great upwards trajectory before he got diagnosed. He has even made some money on crypto which is why he is looking into expensive options for suicide as he has the money.
But getting all your dreams crushed after getting so close to it is painful and a tough, tough pill to swallow. Especially if you put in all the hard work.
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