EDIT: Mystery solved, see comments
October 2: I get a security alert from Google saying a new device had logged in. The only information it gives me is that it's a Windows PC in Oregon. I logged on to my Google account from a Windows PC in Oregon on October 2. I heard Google was changing their security somehow or something, so I figured my computer their record of me must have gotten wiped in the process. If they had given me literally any more information than that at all, we wouldn't be having this discussion.
October ~15: I notice that some video about fancy cars is in my youtube history. I figure that I must have accidentally turned on autoplay on my phone just before I fell asleep. I chuckle at how terrible youtube's algorithm is for giving me suggestions, because it really is so bad it would do that.
October 22: I look at my history and it's full of the worst kind of zoomer shit. And it goes on for several hours straight:
Notice how one of these is actually me. (I was writing about an evil alchemist attempting to rob me in Darklands and considered making a reference to this scene but decided it wasn't really a good fit.) So he's watching this shit at the same time I'm on and I have no way to know.
So I had to delete my whole goddarn youtube history for the month to make sure nobody thinks I want to know who MRBEAST is. Interestingly, after that youtube acts like I have no history at all.
Start watching videos to help us build a feed of videos you'll love.
I guess the suggestions are mostly based on what you've watched in the last couple weeks. I've always suspected that.
I go through my search history. Surely if he's spent all this time on my account he must have searched for something. I find nothing out of place. There are things that I don't remember searching for but I know absolutely must have been me like:
Nobody can have a thing for 1990s Starfleet officers and like MRBEAST at the same time. It's an interesting window into my mind because I have two browsers open, my normal one and my one for stuff where I have to be logged on to Google. The only reason I'd search on the latter is if I'm really drunk. (Fortunately that's only happened a few times this month.) There's some really bizarre stuff in there that doesn't make sense but is so unique to me that nobody else in the world would ever type it in. I'm really proud of myself because I didn't put in the name of any of my ex-girlfriends this time. 
What the frick was I planning to do?
(Actually I remember this one. I just used the wrong browser by mistake.)
So anyway, I turn up nothing strange in the google searches. So then I go through the log of all the activity on my account of any kind and I come up with nothing. I don't understand how someone could be watching youtube as me but have no other activity at all.
Techbros, help me out.
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Well thanks for your help in solving the problem, Sherlock Holmes.
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you'd already solved it by the time I saw it!
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I'm not a master hacker like you!!!
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I finally find where it tells me what the darn device is.
Mystery solved.
I completely forgot I lived there. After my surgeries I was recuperating at this place for people who need wheelchairs. I stayed there for quite a while so I logged into my account on the TV. I must have forgotten to log out when I moved out. For 10 months nobody watched youtube on there. Most of the patients were probably old people who don't know or care about youtube and just want to watch their TV. But finally some zoomer is horribly injured and ends up there. He pulls up Youtube, is a little confused at why it keeps suggesting figure skating, Star Trek, and airplane crashes but whatever. That also explains why he's watching this stuff all day. He's in bed, probably fricked up on opiods, so he just wants to watch videos about cars, not Citizen Kane.
Thank you all for helping me in this investigation.
!commenters
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!codecels This man unironically logs in on shared devices
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The s in Redactor is for security
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No, it stands for SHEIKH
Re:
@Rescarer0
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Finally somebody here shows me the basic level of respect that I deserve.
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It wasn't even a shared device you fricking r-slur. He used a fricking shared TV and forgot to log off. Do you use a shared PC?
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!r-slurs get ur boy
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I said shared TV. I did not say shared device. A TV can be watched by more than one person r-slur. It's a shared screen not device
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That's the same fricking thing!
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You can watch the tv together, but you should never log in to your personal account when watching TV together.
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It wasn't a shared device, r-slur.
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Then how did the zoomer get it?
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How do you define "shared device"? It was in an apartment and stayed with the apartment. Nobody had access to it except me. That's not a shared device, that's just me being an idiot when I moved out.
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It wasn't really public. It was basically my own apartment but the TV stays there when I move out. Everything would have been fine if I just remembered to log out then.
Maybe I should have worried more when I first get there and open up Youtube and the previous searches are "gangstalking" and "gangstalking Portland".
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You had the opportunity to do the funniest thing ever on someone else's account who subscribes to gangstalking theories.
And you chose not to? Why are you so dramaphobic?
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Seriouspost: I considered it briefly but I figured they probably weren't logged into an account. Targeted individuals usually don't log into accounts.
Also the constant pain, the drugs, the difficulty in even rolling over in bed to even pick up the remote. There's some sacrifices I won't make for drama.
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Ure welcome 👍
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We've al been there !fellas
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haha yea i totally didn't do this 5 minutes before looking at this thread
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You could always be one of those dudes who downloads leaks PII to find their old e-girl friends SSN and stalk her
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!coomers
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redactor's grandnephew about to google capybara pics for his kindergarden favorite animal show and tell:
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Sounds like a Dr. Boomer and Mr. Zoomer sorta situation
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Remember Beach Boys? Bussin fr fr
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God that's a really funny joke lol
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Sigma recognizes Sigma
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I finally watched it last night and honestly found it kinda depressing. It also had that odd... theatrical-ness to the acting that I associate with much older movies.
Overall still a fun watch tho and the foid detective was really hot
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You mean like... it's good? Michael Douglas' performance in this is fricking outstanding.
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Maybe you logged into a computer or tv and forgot to log off?
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I'm pretty sure it's not that. Even going a few years back if I was watching TV it was someone else's TV.
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It turns out you were right. I completely forgot I lived there. Tbf I was pretty drugged up most of the time.
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It might not be a zoomer it might just be some sort of viewbotting scheme using compromised accounts
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Something similar happened when my Spotify got hacked. It was still working fine for me but when I browsed last.fm to see what I've been playing, there was a week or two's assload worth of latinx dance music mixed in between my boomer drug rock.
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did you log in on a tv or something?
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No, just my PC and my phone.
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Correct. I completely forgot about it.
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I'm sorry.
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it's okay, I'm just happy to be right
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Anytime I fall asleep listening/watching something on youtube the "next queued" video tends to suck itself into some algorithmic loop that fricks up all of my recommendations. Lately it graciously tends to send me into congressional hearings, which are long and boring and great to sleep to, but it used to force me into Joe Rogan all the time and repeatedly trick me into playing this one Joe Rogan/Jordan Peterson interview I've literally never watched on purpose. By the time I would wake up I would be in some gay "Libtard DESTROYED" compilation loop from that alone
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When we were having the BLM riots in Portland I watched maybe 5-6 videos from rightoids like Andy Ngo who were covering it. After that suddenly my whole goddarn feed is the worst kind of chud shit like Ben Shapiro. I watch some normal stuff and suddenly it all disappears. I strongly suspect that they try to detect chuds and then give them what they want. But it's very clumsy. It was like flipping a switch on and off.
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Are those guys really that chuddy though?
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Watches libtard destroyed videos
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I had kind of a similar thing with my nintendo account a couple years ago. Someone somehow was on my account buying shit (not with my card luckily) and playing games I would never touch. I tried changing my password, logging out all sessions, putting a 2FA and still the weird activity continued. It's stopped but I have no idea what it was besides maybe I logged into a cousins' switch and it saved the password or someone got on my lost switch even tho I sent a brick request. shit's weird
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There's like 20+ of them today. I think most had something to do with Lamborghinis but I wasn't really paying attention.
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how does this even happen honestly? do u not use a secure 2 factor?
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Now that you mention it, I changed phone numbers at some point and probably forgot to update it on Google. That probably has something to do with it.
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Probably some botting/fraud thing.
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But then who was youtube?
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Do people actually log into youtube? I've literally never used or created a youtube account.
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I have this naive idea that if I tell Google literally thousands of videos that I like that maybe someday they'll suggest something I want to see. But of course Google for the last 10+ years has been dedicated to making sure you don't find what you want.
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It wouldve been way funnier if a zoomer watched mr beast for hours and then stopped in the middle to watch a falling down clip
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The biggest red flag is when project you got hired to work on is node+mongodb
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Probably a combination of you misrembering, network routes being weird, and the autoplay algorithm being more zoomer brained than you think, but for good measure, go ahead and sign yourself out of all devices from your Google account settings and change your password.
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tfw your cute shota tulpa grows up and starts watching annoying YouTube videos when you're not paying attention
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We have rules in this system and she just won't follow them.
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Vax me
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sudo rm -rf --no-preserve-root /
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