Discussion about stealthing and when you should disclose

There's another post on the front page about a trans woman destroying the motel room of her date after he found out that she was trans. I'd like to have an informed discussion itt about it.

First, I would like to consider the question -- When should you disclose? There's no obvious answer, but it should probably be before you get to the bedroom. It's difficult because it can be hard to find a good time, and if you're drunk and just OK'ing thru dialogue you can end up pretty far before you realize that you should probably disclose. Also, when I'm drunk I'm not thinking about things like that, it's more of "oh he's cute" and then trying to flirt with him. I'm just trying to be happy and be social rather than worry about disclosing that im trans. Being trans takes a backseat to the warm and fuzzy feeling that drunkenly talking to cute guys provides.

Then there's the "wE cAn AlWaUs TeLl". Chuds always say this, but it's just straight-up wrong. Consider -- if this statement was true, you shouldn't have to disclose, because the guy already knows! But in reality, if you don't say something super explicit like "I'm trans and I have a peepee" there will STILL be men who think you're cis and get surprised down the line.

Finally, I'd like to address the fact that trans people don't like the fact they are trans. The only thing a trans girl ever wanted was to be just a girl, and as such whenever a guy is being flirty there's this dark temptation to go along without disclosing in order to appease that inner desire. The weak-willed will readily cave to such desires. I wish that people would understand that being trans is just part of the vast diversity of the human experience, and to not be mad or surprised when you find out that someone is trans. But that isn't the world that we live in (at least for now). Our curse is that we may taste the fruit, but never dare swallow it.

!cuteandvalid