There's another post on the front page about a trans woman destroying the motel room of her date after he found out that she was trans. I'd like to have an informed discussion itt about it.
First, I would like to consider the question -- When should you disclose? There's no obvious answer, but it should probably be before you get to the bedroom. It's difficult because it can be hard to find a good time, and if you're drunk and just OK'ing thru dialogue you can end up pretty far before you realize that you should probably disclose. Also, when I'm drunk I'm not thinking about things like that, it's more of "oh he's cute" and then trying to flirt with him. I'm just trying to be happy and be social rather than worry about disclosing that im trans. Being trans takes a backseat to the warm and fuzzy feeling that drunkenly talking to cute guys provides.
Then there's the "wE cAn AlWaUs TeLl". Chuds always say this, but it's just straight-up wrong. Consider -- if this statement was true, you shouldn't have to disclose, because the guy already knows! But in reality, if you don't say something super explicit like "I'm trans and I have a peepee" there will STILL be men who think you're cis and get surprised down the line.
Finally, I'd like to address the fact that trans people don't like the fact they are trans. The only thing a trans girl ever wanted was to be just a girl, and as such whenever a guy is being flirty there's this dark temptation to go along without disclosing in order to appease that inner desire. The weak-willed will readily cave to such desires. I wish that people would understand that being trans is just part of the vast diversity of the human experience, and to not be mad or surprised when you find out that someone is trans. But that isn't the world that we live in (at least for now). Our curse is that we may taste the fruit, but never dare swallow it.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Consent is important so not down with this
!nonchuds
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
For me, being trans is just a fact like how the street that I grew up on is just a fact. In a just world*, I shouldn't need to disclose my transsexuality, just like I shouldn't need to disclose the street I grew up on. If I'm indistinguishable from a cis woman (post-op) then why should it truly matter what I was born as?
*We do not live in a just world.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
If someone's primary attraction to you was based on the street he thought you grew up on, you'd have a responsibility not to lie about that or play into that mistaken belief.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Except that a woman's chromosomes are not what make her attractive. If a man is attracted to a post-op trans woman who passes as cis, why should he care for her chromosomes? It is in fact an irrational aversion to such, which is also known as a phobia.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
It's not about what is attractive, but about what is reproductive and a woman in the eyes of God. Thinking from a pleasure/consent-morality prespective to approximate the thoughts of a reproduction-maxxing ideology follower (e.g. Abrahamic religions) doesn't work.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
!slots950
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
Straight men want females, not just people that look like females.
You can't word game your way into other people's sexual attraction.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
No, this is where you're wrong.
A woman's chromosomes are literally what make her attractive.
Her body, face, all the physical markers of attractiveness are signposts to the chromosomes.
You're trying to fake all the markers because you want to lie about having the chromosomes.
But what matters is actually having the chromosomes.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
I wouldn't date any woman that couldn't have kids.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
People are allowed to be irrational in the realm of their preferences.
What do you make of someone that wouldn't date anyone shorter than them?
This person might be unfair to manlets but they are not advocating for their right to vote to be removed; they are just choosing not to associate with short people romantically.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
They might not be, but I am. Absolutely insane that we live in a world where
rides have more stringent requirements than civic participation.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Don't worry, the requirements for civic participation are rising. You might not make the cut, though.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
I'm too tall for the non-seated crossbar rollercoasters in Asia it's actually awful
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
Kind of hard to lie about your height tho
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
This neighbor never heard about shoe lifts smh
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
This might be the most selfish comment i've seen from a train. You are not ready for any type of a relationship. Go fix yourself.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Because most straight dudes don't want to frick you, and have a right to know you are trans before fricking you.
Yeah it sucks for you, but thats life dog, you don't get to stealth neighbors, just like I don't get to lie about wearing a rubber
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Well, that explains your confusion. You're simply being immoral while wanting straight men to be cute twinks.
Your talk about acceptance is conveniently one-sided.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
Post-op trans women are women, chud. It's not gay to frick one when you can't even tell she's trans lol
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
if you fully pass and are (somehow) completely functional post op why call yourself a transwoman at that point? Can't you just say youre a woman everytime if no one can tell? I thought that was the goal
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
because
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
They know and they play along with it because they are closeted gays
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context
This will never be true, but that's ok. You just need to come to terms with it.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
In your “ideal world”, the hypothetical you're referring to relies on the trans woman looking indistinguishable from a cis woman. That will never be the case for the vast majority of trans people. Even the Twitter trains posting selfies that you think “pass” are either - trolls posting photos of cis women to frick with ppl, incredibly wealthy trains who have had the time and money to have the best surgical, hormonal, and voice treatments AND have posted themselves in the most flattering light and angle (notice how rarely it's an unfiltered video from multiple angles), or someone who transitioned when they were eight and will eventually develop more masculine traits as they hit middle age and stop being a twink. For the vast majority of trains none of these are applicable.
For proof, have a look at trans people who have comfortably huge incomes. Caitlin Jenner had access to unlimited wealth for treatments, the ability to disappear for a year or more while she received treatments and not need to work, and the best stylists and make up artists. She still doesn't pass.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
In a just world, straight men would still not like peepee, and you'd still be hiding that for your own benefit.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Because a large chunk of the population (including myself) believe God will condemn them as a homosexual, should they fornicate with a trans woman. Hence the term "trap" - a passing trans woman is perceived as an attempt at tricking a man into being a homosexual, "trapping" them.
Like it or not, it is what it is.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
You need to learn that Transwomen are more than just vagina havers or you will never get over your internalized bigotry and flagrant disregard for trans rights.
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
Jump in the discussion.
No email address required.
More options
Context
More options
Context
More options
Context