Help, Boy Juice Made Me Too Juicy!

Dear How to Do It,

I'm a trans guy who started testosterone earlier this year. It's mostly been amazing—one of the best things I've ever done for my own well-being—but because bodies are gonna body, of course there's one weird side effect that's driving me nuts. Where most transmasc people get vaginal dryness from T, I've gone in the opposite direction: my body has suddenly decided to start squirting. Enthusiastically. Nearly every time I orgasm.

“Awesome!” you might think, but no. Squirting is fine and dandy for folks who are into it, but I'm not. As someone who's on the ace spectrum and still in the perpetually horny stage of T, I mainly want to get off to scratch an itch and move on with my day. This used to be easy—hand or vibrator down pants, boom, done! Now the process involves laundry and a shower. I can no longer jerk off to shut up my anxious little brain, roll over, and go to sleep.

Is there any way to STOP squirting or make getting off as a squirter less of A Process?

—Boy Juice Made Me Too Juicy

Dear Boy Juice Made Me Too Juicy,

There are a lot of anecdotal accounts on the internet of increased squirting as a result of transitioning. Some believe that this is the result of the testosterone-prompted swelling of the Skene's gland, which is involved in squirting. As your letter suggests, though many desire, even fetishize squirting, not everyone who does it is so enthusiastic. In a column that ran a few years ago, my partner in HTDI, Jessica Stoya, asked porn performer/educator Madison Young what she does to dam her loins in a moment where squirting is inconvenient or otherwise unwanted. She said that she switches things up when she feels the urge to squirt, which “allows me to reset but keeps me in a highly aroused state in which I can still build up to orgasm or just simply enjoy erotic stimulation, touch, and pleasure without climax.” According to Young, switching up could look like this, for example: “If I was using a vibe on my clitoris, I might turn it off and use my fingers or move the vibe to another area of my vulva.”

For some additional expert assistance answering your question, I reached out to Lola Jean, a s*x educator who has appeared in this column a few times over the years and whose recent workbook Baby Dom/me/mx Bootcamp: a no frills guide to making domination a career is due out in May. I thought Jean's response was fascinating, because despite being a world record holder for volume squirting, they expressed disdain for their vaunted talent. “If you could give me a pill to stop squirting, I'd gladly take it,” they wrote to me early on in our exchange on this topic. Jean then elaborated in a longer email that I'm printing in full, as it speaks to your issue with some practical advice, and even describes different kinds of squirters. Fascinating for sure, and I hope it's helpful. Good luck.

Lola Jean says:

As a fellow squirter, your pain resonates with me. Because you are squirting every time you reach a certain level of pleasure, it sounds like you are also a broad-response squirter, as opposed to a specific-response squirter who only squirts as a result of specific types of stimulation of movements. While I'm sure specific movements also get you to rain down, it sounds like everything else does, too. Like many who find themselves in the broad-response squirting category, I too wish I could take a pill to never squirt again. I've invested in products from an endless supply of puppy pads, six washable squirt blankets, and even a blow-up nuru pool to contain my unwanted fluids. All of that is work and excess and I truly don't know if squirting is worth it.

But society seems to be hellbent on labeling squirting as the greatest thing since sliced bread, which doesn't leave a whole lot of room for those of us who have mixed feelings or straight up don't like it. With that, I have some good news and bad news. Just like there is no one tried-and-true way to squirt (no matter what that one guy tells you), there is also not one tried-and-true way to stop the squirting for a broad-response squirter. However, there are a few things you can try to do that overwhelm or distract the body to a point that maybe you won't squirt, but none of them are fool proof by any means:

Have something penetrating you without movement. Basically whatever is penetrating you here needs to stay internal. The hope here is that the pelvic floor is not able to do its full movement and the penetrating object is somewhat blocking the point of exit. Yes, the danger here is that your force will push whatever is inside of you out, which is why it staying put is so important.

Find a sensation that overwhelms you. Maybe that's intense vibration, perhaps it's something in your back hole, or even both. Sometimes involving the back hole can take the body's focus off the front.

Ride the hormonal shifts until they find their stasis. You're basically playing with a new body right now, and one that will continue to change and shift. There is a chance it will continue to do so and maybe the squirting will level out. That's a big “if” as we can't predict the changes your body will go through.

And since these are all educated guesses for your body at best, the other route is to begin an acceptance that your body expresses itself in a way when you feel pleasure that straight up sucks sometimes, even most of the time. You can have your moments where you get your puppy pads, your washable squirt blankets, or a quickie in the shower, but you're also allowed to negotiate yourself out of masturbation because you just don't fricking feel like it today. This feels unfair, and it is. This is also why it's important to talk about all of the aspects of squirting and why life isn't so great under the waterfall.

I wish I could give you a better answer and more hope, but by opening the conversation, perhaps you or someone who reads this can suggest ways that they have been able to stop their squirt temporarily or for good.