https://x.com/ZODIAC_MF/status/1854976308813742267
JESUS CHRIST. A FANTASY GAME WHERE THE THIEVES GUILD DOESNT ACTUALLY STEAL BECAUSE ITS TOO PROBLEMATIC pic.twitter.com/CLvDOYerX5
— ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER (@ZODIAC_MF) November 8, 2024
I'm not fact checking this because it's really funny.
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This is hands down the straggiest game I've ever seen and yes I am aware Concord and Dustborn came out like a month ago
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So following the don't steal commandment from the Ten Commandments is straggy? Ok.
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Most committed tradcath rdrama larper
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Is looting abandoned temples stealing? No one owns them anymore.
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The Talmud explicitly says that if you recover property that was irretrievably lost, you can keep it and have no obligation to find the original owner.
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Its why modern Lara Croft sucks.
She doesn't even Tomb Raider correctly. They don't even handle the problematic nature of raiding tombs in a manner that would still allow her to be Tomb Raider.
"HEY LARA, THESE CUTE TWINKS ARE LOOTING AN ANCIENT TEMPLE, BUT WE DONT KNOW HOW AND WHERE IT IS. GO FIND IT! AND STEAL THOSE ARTIFACTS BACK!"
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nuLara Croft was just sick fetish fuel for the creative director and audio producer. "Okay, we want you to make sounds like how you would if your were getting brutally maimed, wounded or murdered!"
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There was some voice actress who said, I'm paraphrasing: "I loved this role because it was the first time I got to die without sounding like I was getting sexual pleasure out of it."
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Femoids will act like that's exclusive to them but ignore
the dark souls 
1 hit sounds 
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That game was so upsetting goddarn. It was and probably will be the most genuinely disturbing depiction of violence in video games ever.
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It's definitely cultural appropriation at best and that's just not OK man
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christcucks are peak cute twink
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Libs can NOT be this dense
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Dems won't admit it but this game might have lost them the election.
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Dems wont admit it but their entire campaign was a basically a bunch of HR DEI Whores and anyone who works any job with an HR department hates those HR DEI Whores more than middle management.
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Thing is. Its not as preachy and woke you would except.
It is super safe and whitewashed. Everyone is nice. Everyone act like small child. PC is HR boss. Therapy talk everywhere.
Every negative emotion is ironed out. Its like you took disney movie and took out what little negativity it had and took it away. Leaving only shiny and fluffy cloud of comfort.
It has this uncanny quality in it. Like it wasnt done by humans but by lizard people trying to imitate humans. But they observerd only HR people.
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Concord wasn't even that bad. It would have sold fine if it was released 7 years ago, and still done 5 y ago. Just so so so far behind the team shooter craze.
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The main problem was the bafflingly ugly character designs.
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For some reason wes
s see mobile gacha giant titty games that are practically porn rake in billions of dollars, and decide that the right decision to get people to play their games is make the character a toad that happens to be a 0.02% gender minority
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But enough about Gaydur's Gaye
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I'm still convinced Concord was a Blackrock write-off and was never expected to succeed
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Really the main problem was that an apparently mediocre-at-best online game in a full F2P market tried to charge $40 when even as a free beta it was incredibly underperforming. That the characters were hideous and badly designed was really the shit cherry on top that proved the game was ill-conceived at every level.
It looks like they spent $200m-$400m to make a game that appealed to one r-slur on ResetEra, and then it wasn't even a game you could play when you have no friends.
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It's very funny how the only guy with white facial features wasn't allowed to have skin at all. Like they're literally doing phrenology in the name of being anti-racist.
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Vocel if you wouldn't
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The cat? Darn straighr I'd frick her. She looks like she'd be a bouncer.
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My impression was that it should have been F2P
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Rooka? Was too op, TTK was too high for pretty much everyone else
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This game would have probably sold 2x if it came out during covid. Concord was such expensive game that i dont know if it could have sold "fine" 7 years ago. But it would have sold way more then it did. Stuff like Brink crashed and burned in 2011.
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Seeing "crap" used that way in a fantasy setting just feels so incredibly wrong. Why are current writers incapable of writing in any vernacular besides contemporary American coastcel?
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Because they have never left their coastcel bubble.
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You've never left your favela and yet your speech is composed primarily of quirked up 'teen speech. It's a lack of exposure of other manners of speaking, or even a lack of confidence in being able to execute it. Or maybe an obsession with accessibility has gentrified the fantasy setting for normalfriends. They've torn down the whorehouses and skooma shacks and put up craft breweries and now serve hazy IPAs and play gender inclusive gwent-clones on the bar counter.
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Why were their no prostitutes in skyrim? Were they all at the imperial army camps I never visited? Did the vampires and serial killers eat them all?
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You clearly didn't have the right mods.
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With mods like those. You dont pay to them
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The devs must have been biased against s*x work. Can you believe that in our day and age there's still people like that?
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Because Skyrim is barebones as frick because Todd really wanted the 11.11.11 release date.
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Also they haven't been exposed to anything in school from outside their bubble. There's no need to read the works of dead old white men.
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Matt Groening ruined a generation of writers
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Matt Groening? !kino, this is clearly Joss Whedon's fault, with honorable mentions for Greg Berlanti, Rob Thomas, and Ryan Murphy.
Whedon pioneered this sort of dialogue by having every character he's ever written speak the exact same way. Doesn't matter if they're a teenage girl in 1990s SoCal, the clone of an alien-killing ship's officer in deep space, or a comic book superhero of any conceivable age or backstory; they all sound the same.
Along with Whedon, Berlanti and Thomas made certain this style of writing was the standard for UPN, WB, and CW shows. Murphy and Whedon allowed it to breech containment via Glee for television and The Avengers for films, both of which were far more successful than they had any right to be. No longer was this dreck relegated to teen dramas and terrible sequels. It became the standard for everything.
Now here we are, almost 30 years after the premiere of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and people who spent their 20s and 30s hearing nothing but dialogue they should've left behind in their teens are running writers' rooms. Of course every character speaks like a perpetual child. They're all written by perpetual children.
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Whedon has done such multi-generational damage to writers it is actually sad.
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Whedon is really skilled and the reality is that HE can pull off a story full of rarted quips and literally nobody who tries to ape his style can
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He used to be, but he hasn't been able to pull it off since 2010.
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Yeah, he's good at what he does. I just want that to be in TV shows on CW that I don't watch, not taking over all media everywhere.
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Reasonable and fair!
His shows were a lot better than current CWslop
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At least the CW knows that people want hot actors
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The only whedon thing i ever saw was avengers in like 2013 and the whole thing was so lifeless, like an overlong superbowl spot. I was baffled as to why it was getting critical praise heaped on it
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The real problem is that reading shit as banal and basic as Kurt Vonnegut is considered revolutionary. A trick to good dialogue is to listen to how real people talk. Go watch real court cases .
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Is it becouse schools dont force people to read anymore. Not even higher education? Its wild how stuff like Naipaul and Céline is rarely talked about. When they should be must read for anyone who wants to write anything
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Whedon style is undercutting everything with joke. No matter how serius situation or moment. You break it up with joke. Whedon is really good at that stuff and stuff he did was mostly camp. It was lighthearted fun even if it was serius.
Whole thing breaks apart when someone else tries to do serius story. And yet eveything gets undercut with quips. I have no idea why they do this. Someone said it was becouse they know their writing sucks or are unsure about it. Making it comedic is way to shield it. You dont comit to it.
Its joke. It suposed to be funny.
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Seek help.
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I would if I could, LP. Unfortunately, the !writecel ping group can only do so much. Which is to say, nothing at all.
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I was reading through my meemaw's cooking book from 1916 the other day and it's just written so delightfully
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While I do think it's kind of odd how the genre convention is for fantasy people to sound overly format, it's really weird when they go the entire opposite direction into sounding insanely contemporaneous.
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It just sounds inorganic. We know it's translated from an alien language for our convenience .
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It is translated from canadian.
Aperently french and German localasations are nuts. I wonder how crazy that must be.
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That's a big reason I can't watch the supposedly
good 
NuTrek show (Strange New Worlds).
All the dialogue sounds like it was written by Joss Whedon.
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These are supposed to be disciplined Starfleet officers running a highly sophisticated starship, not high school kids who just learned how to drive a car.
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That's because none of the writers have been in the military. Or know anyone who has.
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But it's so relatable!!
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The way I do it is to figure out two regions and eras I want to use as inspiration and rip them off after doing a lot of research. The more dissimilar and weirder the better. Like Zimbabwe-era Rhodesians and Imperial Prussians Rhodesian Ridgeback-Cockatiels. Or Navajo-Hopi-Mormon-Chinese Victorian spiritualist cat griffins. Then work backwards from them. You can't be accused of cultural appropriation if you end up with the weirdness of Morrowind. I found combining a culture's mythology with their actual history does weird things. Supposedly the Navajo and Hopi are descendants of bird people and once lived in a world with cat people. They also hate when outsiders talk about their rituals and religion so I substituted victorian spiritualism and Chinese ancestor worship for most of their real religions and customs because both the Navajo and Hopi fear the dead and avoid talking about them to attract attention. So flip it. Do the opposite. Instead of fearing the dead they never shut the funk up about them. They carve kachina stye statues of them and the weird science mummy have their own pueblos where they unlive and guard the secrets of their original homeland. A good fantasy setting should have a healthy dollop of fever dream.
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That sounds like a lot of work when you can just rip off Jack Vance
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One man's crap is another man's treasure
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This is canadian studio. They are so california brained its insane
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Kill the person. The item is no longer another person's property.
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They must be one of those progressive r*pe-only pirates
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I think they just sail around doing chorus routines and such
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lolwut
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they only borrow
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Stealing is ok because there is no ethical consumption under pre-industrial merchant capitalism
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Add it to the list.
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I never knew the Thieves guild had 13% of the population as active members!
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You can tell how long games are taking to make because this type of commentary was already outdated by 2020
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We had Indiana Jones being excoriated by his daughter
just last year for being an unethical archeologist.
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Open up that bussy, Indy. We ain't done here yet
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I want to get off Biden's wild ride.
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Lol no she didn't. She was the unethical one who stole stuff for the most money and Jones was frowny and wanted stuff in a museum. Smh, wingcucks.
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And that movie was also in development heck for a decade
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I didn't see the film but at least it wasn't his own daughter.
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Weird dialogue. Doesn't look like something that blue guy would say by the screenshots. But I don't know anything about this game
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If a character in a fantasy game actually ended a sentence with "and crap" all millennials need to be banned from writing ever again
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Perfectly captured smug millennial Twitter posting.
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Absolutely nothing can be said with conviction. Every statement must be dripping with hipster post-ironic apathy even if you're a blue alien in a world full of violence and conflict
Can't even say "stealing is wrong we only raid ruins and make sure we respect the cultures." definitively. It has to be "oh yknow we like just kinda steal from ruins and crap or whatever
"
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What does that even MEAN
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Ergo proxy was mid cause the goth hoe didnt climb out of the screen to have s*x with me
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Ergo Proxy has an entire episode about being stuck on the road and the goth hoe soycringing all the way through. I won't stand for any criticism of its writing
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I don't remember the writing
I think she was implied to be a robot or something
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Sacrilege.
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casshern sins was better tbh but if you want taking too seriously, texhnolyze is so overrated
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"Absolutely nothing can be said with conviction. Every statement must be dripping with hipster post-ironic apathy" says the dramatard
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Every post I have ever made on here has been 100% sincere
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Even the deleted one where you swore allegiance to ISIS?
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This but ironically
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You know like when you hit it off with a cute femboy and like you are talking about how good it is when you go inside and he just goes and says that isn't like, you know, a backside but actually calls it a "bussy". You know, as in, like, a kitty but for boys? It was like, really funny and stuff.
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The good dramatard feigns conviction.
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I am being sincere in this post as a way to counterjerk.
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Ew
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If you played it as "he's a weird alien with a weird sense of honour" it might work. That was what killed the Outer Worlds. None of these people really seemed to believe in their corporations. Now that's a dystopia that would be fun to explore. They were raised in the company and they regard it as their family. A Coke employee is smashing bottles of Pepsi in the middle of a water crisis because he doesn't want anyone drinking an inferior soda. The Outer Worlds failed because no one had an agenda. "I want to be free from the corporations" to do what? Garden? Promote Jesus? Molest children? It's hard to get invested in such a flat world.
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NOOOOOO THIS OUTCAST ISNT SPEAKING THE QUEENS ENGLISH TND TND TND NOWWWWWWW
@Gruesy_Spoon stand with israel
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I thought he was a rich college kid posing as a thief to seem cool to his friends.
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That would actually make a lot of sense!
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What does Total BIPOC Death have to do with bad dialogue
I'm advocating Total Millennial Death
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You want to see this cross stitch I did? It's a swear word! Isn't that kooky?
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I reads like the crappy Goosebumps scary story knock-off I tried to write when I was 11
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Oof
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What if the sentence was " the city was disgusting. the streets were covered with piss and crap." ?
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The blue guy is where the main meat of the backlash is coming from. She is the non-binary character that keeps bringing it up...
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Ohh, I guess that's the game
was playing clips from on MATI this week. That shit was terrible, why do they think the general public would be into that garbage?
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because the people who made it believed they were on the right side of history and anyone who dislikes it is a chud.
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everyone who didn't like the idea got ratio'd on the internal slack channel
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Because they think they're normal and everyone else is like them.
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She?!?
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My bad, I meant they...
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Drop and give me 20, bigot!
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You shouldn't even need to ask. A true ally realizes when they've made a mistake and immediately does the pushups on their own without being told to.
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ummm this is ableist af?? yikes, do better
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excuse me that's a they and they thinks you smell good…grrr
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No I played this r-slurred game, this happens. There's even more dialogue between the blue guy and the elf about this where it's all repeated
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If you're going to make him that freaky give him weird dialogue. The trick I did was to read a translation of the Arabian Nights, or just the Tale of the Barber because it's my favorite story from the book, learn the idiosincracias of their speech, write dialogue that sounds like a bit like that, and then feed it into google translate for a go through of Arabic>English>Arabic. Language is full of meaning and small details. Drop an occasional word that isn't translate or a reference that isn't explained.
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One thing I really loved was a set of subtitles for the k-drama Dae Jang Geum translated into Chinese and then the Chinese is translated into English by someone who isn't fluent in English. It was a lot more literal and kept a lot of the idioms and quirks in the language. They've got a whole different way of saying so many things. The subtitles you can get now are grammatically correct English but much more bland and take some of the emotional edge out of it.
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