House Femboy Founder  


Unpaid Intern at

3396 coins   100 marseybux   11 followers   follows 8 users  
joined 21 May 2021

You're probably here because you're jelly of my 114 IQ

If you are a bong or a leaf (except for you Nadia:marseylove:) and you're reading this: you are subhuman, no one loves you, and you should KYS ASAP

this account is sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends

Awards received

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Alpha User Bug Chaser Little Big Spender Halloween 21 Christmas 21 1 Year Old 🥰 1st Birthgay Bash Survivor God Save The Kween

User ID: 260

Coins spent: 31182

True score: 31219

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House Femboy Founder


Unpaid Intern at

3396 coins   100 marseybux   11 followers   follows 8 users   joined 21 May 2021

You're probably here because you're jelly of my 114 IQ

If you are a bong or a leaf (except for you Nadia:marseylove:) and you're reading this: you are subhuman, no one loves you, and you should KYS ASAP

this account is sponsored by Raid Shadow Legends

Awards received

x1 x7 x1 x3 x2 x8 x1 x1 x1 x1 x1 x5 x12

User ID: 260

Coins spent: 31182

True score: 31219

Winnings: 0

Alpha User Bug Chaser Little Big Spender Halloween 21 Christmas 21 1 Year Old 🥰 1st Birthgay Bash Survivor God Save The Kween
grunderchin_vidunderchin is a Thick Dick Futa scat fetishist
Recap of the 2021 Battle of Portland

So yesterday was Portland's annual large street battle. There are a bunch of smaller brawls going on in Portland every month or so, but once a year a few hundred rightoids and leftoids from Oregon, Seattle, and California get together to beat the shit out of each other.

Here's the flyer for the "summer of love" event (which is a joke about the CHAZ)

Rightoids initially planned to get a permit for the event in Tom McCall Waterfront Park, but at the last minute moved it to a k-mart parking lot several miles away. Leftoids got to the park around 1PM and played around there for a while before realizing that rightoids were somewhere else.

Then there was the usual threatening and attacking street preachers downtown as leftoids were waiting for the rightoids to show up:

There were some verbal arguments at KMart (which you can see on the streams) but nothing too crazy happened before this.

Then the leftoids figured out where the rightoids were and marched to the KMart, and that's where the streamers pick up the rest of what happened. First, the leftoids gathered around the entrances to the lot, blocking them off, and then the van leading the black bloc (leftoids) drove into the parking lot, which is what kicked off the battle:

The rest is caught on stream. Rightoids BLM the van, there's some fighting for 7 minutes, leftoids retreat as rightoids advance, then rightoids regroup at the parking lot. Leftoids attack journ*lists for 9 minutes, then rightoids come around the edge of the gas station. Rightoids push leftoids back for 8 minutes until they get to the lot where the leftoids parked. Rightoids BLM some supply and getaway cars for a few minutes before giving a statement to the media.

Oh and sometime after that there was a fun little shootout which no one knows anything about right now other than what we can see in these videos:

For over 50 years, Plaintiffs Miranda and Richard Wallingford have been happily married and peacefully living in their Huntington Beach, California home. In 2013, a new neighbor, Jessica Nguyen, moved into the property next to the Wallingfords. Right after moving in, Mrs. Nguyen began complaining about the Wallingfords’ Melaleuca tree that has been growing on their front lawn for over 30 years. At first, the Wallingfords tried to appease Mrs. Nguyen by having the tree regularly trimmed. Id. ¶ 7. But these efforts proved futile, as Mrs. Nguyen ultimately demanded the tree’s removal. Having lived on their property for decades without issue and having designed their front lawn’s landscaping around the Melaleuca tree, the Wallingfords refused.

Angered by their refusal, Mrs. Nguyen contrived to gain leverage by falsely accusing Mr. Wallingford of assault. She petitioned for a restraining order against him, filed a small claims case against both Wallingfords, and filed a civil suit claiming their Melaleuca tree was a nuisance. Based on Mrs. Nguyen’s petition, the Orange County Superior Court issued a temporary restraining order against Mr. Wallingford. As a result of that order, Mr. Wallingford was forced to relinquish any firearm in his possession in accordance with Penal Code section 29825 and California Code of Civil Procedure section 527.9. He complied by transferring his firearms to a properly licensed firearms dealer for storage while the temporary restraining order was in effect.

Knowing the assault allegations to be false, and fearful of future retaliation by Mrs. Nguyen, Mrs. Wallingford had a company install three security cameras on the Wallingfords’ property. Before the hearing on Mrs. Nguyen’s petition, the cameras captured Mrs. Nguyen making hostile gestures, damaging Plaintiffs’ property, and making verbal threats towards them.

A hearing on Mrs. Nguyen’s petition was held on August 17, 2018. After hearing testimony from the Wallingfords and reviewing other evidence, including images from the Wallingfords’ security cameras, the Orange County Superior Court concluded the “only clear and convincing evidence I have heard here is—well, perhaps the only is that there’s a lot of animosity by Mrs. Nguyen towards her neighbor,” but not “clear and convincing evidence that there has been harassment by Mr. Wallingford towards Mrs. Nguyen.” Id., Ex. B, p. 66:3-22. The court thus denied Mrs. Nguyen’s petition. Mrs. Nguyen’s other claims were also later dismissed in favor of the Wallingfords.

With Mrs. Nguyen’s petition for a restraining order dismissed, and the temporary order dissolved, Mr. Wallingford was no longer prohibited from owning or possessing firearms under Penal Code section 29825. He was therefore able to retrieve his firearms that were being stored with a licensed firearms dealer. But Mrs. Nguyen’s threatening and abusive behavior towards the Wallingfords was far from over.

Late at night on May 7, 2019, the same day Mrs. Nguyen’s civil suit was dismissed, the Wallingfords’ security cameras captured Mrs. Nguyen sneak onto their front lawn and pour bleach on the Melaleuca tree. The Wallingfords called the police, who responded and were shown the video captured by the Wallingfords’ security cameras. Id. After contacting Mrs. Nguyen, law enforcement noted that “she immediately was very rude” and advised the Wallingfords to seek a restraining order.

The next month, Mrs. Nguyen placed four images of a nude female with a large octopus tattoo along a make-shift wall facing the Wallingfords’ property. Interpreting this as a threat, the Wallingfords again called the police, who again advised them to seek a restraining order “as it seems [they were] being harassed.”

The Wallingfords’ security cameras continued to capture Mrs. Nguyen damaging the Wallingfords’ property, making rude gestures, and making verbal threats of violence. On January 3, 2019, Mrs. Nguyen was recorded yelling “old fucker white trash, next time you’ll be dead, I’ll be lucky this time, white trash, I going [sic] be lucky, you’ll be dead, fucking white trash.” And on May 24, 2019, Mrs. Nguyen was also recorded yelling “fucking pig, one shot, one shot, that’s all I need, one shot.” Video images of Mrs. Nguyen making several throat-slitting gestures, at least one of which involved the use of a knife or similar cutting instrument, were also captured. Fearing for both her and her husband’s safety as a result of Mrs. Nguyen’s verbal threats of violence and escalating behavior, Mrs. Wallingford took local police officers’ advice and petitioned for a restraining order against Mrs. Nguyen.

Before the hearing on Mrs. Wallingford’s petition, Mrs. Nguyen filed her own petitions for restraining orders against the Wallingfords. She raised the same false allegations of assault against Mr. Wallingford that the court had rejected before but also claimed that the Wallingfords’ installation of security cameras constituted harassment that needed to be restrained. The Orange County Superior Court again issued a temporary restraining order against Mr. Wallingford until a formal hearing could be held. Mr. Wallingford was thus once again forced to relinquish his firearms to a licensed firearms dealer in accordance with Penal Code section 29825 and Code of Civil Procedure section 527.9, while the temporary restraining order was in effect.

At an initial hearing, the court acknowledged that it had mistakenly read the false allegations raised by Mrs. Nguyen as new, separate allegations from those previously raised. The court added that had it realized that was the case, it would not have issued the temporary restraining order against Mr. Wallingford. Even so, the court inexplicably declined to dissolve the order as requested by the Wallingfords’ counsel while the case proceeded.

At the hearing, Mrs. Wallingford testified that she had hired Del Moore Security Systems to install three security cameras following Mrs. Nguyen’s renewed allegations because she “didn’t want to not be able to have proof of some kind of allegation like that should it happen in the future.” She also testified that she had Del Moore return to install additional cameras that would capture the entrances to the Wallingfords’ property from the street and backyard through the side gate, as well as their property line because “damage was being done to [their] property that were not completely visible from the existing original cameras.”

Another hearing was held on October 21, 2019, at which Mrs. Wallingford testified that even after the last hearing, the security cameras continued to capture Mrs. Nguyen engage in rude and threatening behavior and throwing trash and debris into the Wallingfords’ backyard. She also testified that she, with assistance of the camera-company’s technical support, limited the cameras’ ability to record any images of Mrs. Nguyen’s property. No evidence was ever presented that Mr. Wallingford installed the security cameras or directed their placement. What’s more, he was never called to testify and was, in fact, ordered to remain outside for most of the hearing while Mrs. Wallingford testified. At the end of the October 21, 2019 hearing, the superior court took the petitions under submission. The court issued a decision on November 1, 2019.

In its opinion, the superior court found that Mrs. Wallingford had established by clear and convincing evidence that Mrs. Nguyen’s behavior constituted harassment under Section 527.6. Specifically, the court found “no legitimate purpose to making a throat-slashing gesture towards Miranda’s security cameras, or too mooning the cameras, spraying the cameras with water, or other similar conduct directed towards the cameras.” Id. The court also found Mrs. Nguyen had “no legitimate purpose to throwing leaves, bleach, or other items on Miranda’s property.” Id. The court thus granted Mrs. Wallingford’s petition for a restraining order against Mrs. Nguyen.

The court also held that the Wallingfords’ cameras constituted harassment under Section 527.6. But the court also expressly noted that the cameras “have since been repositioned such that they point only at areas of the Nguyen’s residence in public view, which the court finds acceptable.” In other words, where and how the Wallingfords’ security cameras were installed at the time of the hearing did not constitute “harassment” under Section 527.6. Even so, the court granted Mrs. Nguyen’s petitions for restraining orders against both Wallingfords—despite no other findings of harassing behavior or that either is a danger to the public or themselves, and even though there was no evidence that Mr. Wallingford was involved in the installation of the cameras.

Mr. Wallingford is suffering from leukemia and has had other health issues during the last two years. Coupled with the Covid-19 pandemic that precluded the Wallingfords from meeting with counsel during that period, the Wallingfords have been hindered in seeking this relief until now.

Reported by:

Nicki Minaj is literally the second coming of hitler

And she's causing s to seethe left and right because she's a strong independent

She's now been trending for a few days

This is where it started:

Then it blew up like deez

And she clapped back at some huffingcel

Then some TV chick with a ton of makeup started talking about her:

Turns out she wasn't supposed to expose deez, uh oh

Then she anally rapes some britbong

And offers to put deez on TV

And then she got even more attention when she retweeted another TV dude

And now she's running for president:

Could she be our next Queen Azealia?

As long as we're leaking /r/centuryclub drama, here's Bardfinn's greatest spergout

Bonus spergout from the same incident:



Also, if you tag r/centuryclub on reddit, it'll send a modmail to the jannies there. Do what you want with that.

Gun range owner spergs out at redditors who leave him negative reviews

Florida man kills a hobo for repeatedly masturbating in public
Actual footage of dramatards inviting powerjannies to their new bait sub
insert snappy quote here
lockjaw blowjob (or why i changed my linkedin settings)

10 years ago or so i moved into a new apartment in NYC with a chick i met off craigslist and we ended up becoming super great friends. she had a heart of gold but had terrible luck with men -- was always on the hunt for a good one, so we did a lot of sloppy ladies nights. i was in a LTR but happy to play wingwoman. three weeks before the ladies night that is the focus of this story, we were out in the LES and walking to a bar when some drunk bro just like, randomly spun into the air to show his friends he could do a roundhouse kick (yes, dudes rock, I know) and she got caught in the crossfire and got absolutely creamed. it was horrible, but even now i can't not laugh when i type it because this girl was so incredibly sweet (and pretty, but a little thick so she had some cushion when she hit the pavement that night). we immediately went home after that.

fast forward to the next ladies night (three weeks later) and she's hellbent on having a good time. which we all know is exactly how you have a very bad time. we go to our usual haunt, mad dog bar and grill which any young alcoholic dilettante living in nyc in the early 2010s would tell you was the place to be on a thursday (when $10 would get you a wristband with unlimited bottom shelf drinks, including gigantic scorpion bowls). after mad dog we went the local beer garden where these two algerian guys started chatting us up. my friend is vibing with the tall guy (great for her) and eventually, at around 3 a.m. or so they're like "you guys wanna go back to our place and chill?" i say "nah, i'm good, i'm in a LTR, but [roommate] should go." my roommate then sends me a text that's like "please, i don't want to go alone." i keep thinking about the roundhouse kick so i'm like "ok fine, i'll go."

we walk to their place like 15 minutes away, we get there, it's chill, they're nice/not pushy. we're chatting/drinking when all of a sudden one of the dudes gets up to go to the another room and he comes out with a mirror with a GIANT pile of cocaine on it. like a scarface level of cocaine -- i have never seen that amount in real life before.

so we're chatting, and of course partaking in the foregoing, when the tall guy says to my friend "do you want to go to the roof and look at the stars" or some shit like that. she's feeling him and is like "yes, absolutely." they leave. i'm still downstairs with algerian dude #2 and i've made it pretty clear that i'm in a LTR / just here to make sure my friend doesn't get dismembered, etc. and he's respectful of that, but i'm sure he's still trying to shoot his shot. eventually he goes to bedroom and comes out with a banjo unlike any i've ever seen before, and proceeds to play the entire pink floyd "dark side of moon" album on it, in order (yes, yes, dudes rock, I know). unfortunately, unbeknownst to him, pink floyd had been ruined for me because i once had to watch the "entire pink floyd collection" infommercial (yes, that existed) on loop for 4 hours when i was severely ill as a child and couldn't figure how to turn off the tv in our shitty ocean city condo during summer vacation.

so he's playing, what feels like AGES passes, it HAS to be like 5:00 a.m. now and i start getting worried about my roommate because i didn't see her come down from the roof yet. so i'm having these horrible drug-fueled intrusive thoughts about my roommate getting brutalized on a rooftop while Roger Waters' bassline from "Money" plays in the background. so i go up to the rooftop to check on things.

i get up there and i'm wholly unprepared for the situation. i see my roommate and her mouth is wide open and she can't speak. like not a little bit open, but gaping open. apparently the drugs and her preexisting TMJ disorder combined caused her jaw to lock WIDE open when she was in the middle of blowing the guy on the roof, like some modern day version of munch's "the scream." i started laughing, but quickly realized she was distressed and we all went back to the living room to try to fix it.

the guys get out their laptop and start frantically googling stuff in arabic and then speaking to each other in arabic, and they're like "this website says you need to pop it back into into place." so they literally start palming her head and jaw and try to force it back into place but it won't budge. in the chaos, i jump up and go over to get them to ease up because i can see her starting to lose her shit. when i stood up, i bumped into the coffee table and accidentally spilled an entirely full bottle of beer onto the coke mountain, which IMMEDIATELY liquifies into goo. afterwards i said the stupidest thing i think i've ever said in my life which was "just put it in the microwave it will turn back into powder." just to be clear, i have absolutely no source for that, it's just something i felt was true at the time. while this story is really about my roommate's L, i admit these guys were not far behind because that had to have been four figures worth of product that was instantly turned into paste. not to mention that guy must have had horrible blue balls, which undoubtedly was why he was brutally trying to force my friend's jaw back into place like she was going to explode if it wasn't fixed in 30 seconds flat.

anyway at this point it is straight up 6 a.m. dawn is breaking, birds are chirping. edvard grieg's peer gynt suite no. 1 op. 46 is playing in the background. my friend is (rightfully) having a full blown panic attack now and she manages to eek out a "go home" to me. despite our very adamant protests, the guys insisted on walking us both home and at that point we were too tired to argue with them. so we all walk back to our apt (30 min away) through a very suburban neighborhood in what was quite possibly the most unholy scene you could ever imagine. it was me and my roommate in the front, her mouth still locked wide open with mascara all over her face, and then the two algerian guys woefully trailing behind us like sick oxen on the oregon trail.

the best part was she had to spit every 30 seconds or so because lockjaw somehow interferes with your ability to swallow your saliva. it was a nightmare. i remember passing this old greek guy that was watering his lawn and the sheer "what the FUCK" look on his face. the funniest part was he immediately stopped spraying his lawn when we passed so he could just stare at us in silence.

anyway, we get back to the apt, the guys leave, and my roommate is just sobbing (poor bb). i told her we could go to the emergency clinic when it opened (at 11 a.m.) and just to wake me up when she's ready. but thank god it popped back into place when she was able to relax a little bit. then we went out for pancakes.

the story does not, unfortunately, end there. her dude texted her a few times after but she was kind of done at that point, and neither of us heard from these guys again. then, a straight up YEAR later, i get a text from one of my friends from grad school named ali (nice jewish girl that looks like alana haim). she says "hey girl, i'm at the beer garden -- you wanna meet up for a drink?" and i respond "ah, no, i'm staying in tonight -- i'm working on my YA porn novel" this was around the time 50 shades of grey came out and i had convinced myself that i could make a million dollars writing shitty porn books for idiots (don't worry, i wrote 30 pages and gave up like a normal person). but ali was a 50 shades fan for some reason so she knew generally of my scheme, which is why i brought it up.

as soon as i mentioned the porn, the vibe shift in the text was palpable. she starts sending me these really flowery erotic texts "let me write it with you: he grabs her legs and lifts her like a wheelbarrow" and "her yoni unfolded for him like a blooming flower." immediately when i read the word "yoni" (which apparently is the hindu word for v*lva) i knew that this was not my friend ali (jewish girl) this was ali (as in ali baba), the algerian banjo man who somehow had his number saved in my phone but did not text me until a full earth's rotation around the sun later.

i ignored the texts but they just kept coming. yoni this, yoni that. i was too r-slurred to figure out how to block a number back then so my friend eventually grabs my phone and sent a text that read "hey i'm engaged now, nice to have met you though."

he responds with the most ominous text, which i include below verbatim:

"Congratulation . Heaven is the Vision of fulfilled Desire,

And Hell is the Shadow from a Soul on fire,

Cast on the Darkness into which Ourselves,

lately emerged from, shall so soon expire."

at first i thought this was original content (and the last words i would hear before i died) but upon further investigation, it appears to be a poem from 12th century persian polymath, historian, and author of the Rubaiyat, Omar Khayyam

in a text response that still makes me smile to this day, my roommate simply responded (as me): "thanks"

anyway, i thought that was the end, except that THREE years ago (8 full years after yonigate, and 9 full years after the lockjaw incident itself), this guy somehow finds me and sends me a friend request on LINKEDIN. after that i changed my settings so i'm no longer searchable/can't be added by randos. and that's it. that's the story.

Twittoids seethe at chad for getting bitches

🤣 😂 😅 who did this 🤣 😂 😅

I want to be able to sexually harass dramanauts

Average day in a seattle homeless infestation caught on video
Washingtonian foids play a nonconsentual game of bumper cars
Celebrity dramautists shout at poopy bed lady
I'm glad Wikipedia is so inclusive of transracial folx!

Nick Mullen (who hasn't posted anything since 2019) has recently been y'alled
Former crack dealer talks about how his life fell apart
👌🤣🤣🤣 who did this 🤣🤣🤣👌
[classic] How redditors managed to troll Georgia Republicans into not voting
gigajannies are pibblephobic
Looks like twitter is still y'alling people
Calmest :marseykween: does a little waterboarding

he need some water!

srdines debate whether or not "strag" is homophobic
This is what finally convinced Rocket Daddy to buy Birdapp
Don't like it? Build your own twitter


A detailed and thoughtful explanation of why rappers shoot each other
Reported by:

  • brzl: This is the work of E.L.F.
In case you missed it, here's the footage of the DC school shooting from last week (not gory)

full video: