Phins

:marseycool: :marseycool: Only ironically cringe :marseycool2: :marseycool2:

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Phins

:marseycool: :marseycool: Only ironically cringe :marseycool2: :marseycool2:

428    3 followers   joined 05 Aug 2021

Read Worm

Awards received

x1 x1 x1 x1 x1 x1

User ID: 3765

Coins spent: 5500

Reported by:


46
New covid DLC just dropped :marsoyhype: :marsoyhype:

F in peace rednecks

News thread

Conservative

Georgia

Pol cope

inshallah it will never come back up

also looks like spotify, twitch and a few other websites are taking temp dirt naps, fun

https://old.reddit.com/r/nba/comments/qpvque/highlight_nikola_jokic_shoves_markieff_morris_to/

As you can see, this innocent man was brutally ATTACKED by this thug(Just look at the attached picture, the guy is clearly a killer) and almost died to death, very sad!

https://jenner.com/system/assets/assets/11549/original/Report%20to%20the%20Chicago%20Blackhawks%20Hockey%20Team%20-%20October%202021.pdf here is the full report but basically

Borderline player gets blackmailed and threatened by literal little king video coach, little king coach then gets them home and holds them hostage with a baseball bat and assaults them.

This gets reported and basically everyone knows, all that ends up happening for a while is his teammates make fun of him, and the FO and head coach decide to not do anything at they were in the middle of a deep playoff run.

Coach probably did this to some other players too but lotta denials cuz scared of being ghey. Eventually they offer the little king male feminist coach to either resign or be investigated, he resigns but they give him a good reference where he goes to a school and then rapes other people, whoops.

Anyway, blackhawks have fired their GM and other high ranking members of their front office, other teams head coaches and gms are also implicated, so the florida panthers and winnipeg jets are also gonna lose important people.

Sports once again proving they are just used so gay guys can deny being gay while still doing gay stuff.

4
(Sports cringe post)The rise and fall of the Process

Alright so the quick back story that you need to know for this post is that Basketball is a game where tall people put balls into hoops on sticks(taller players usually better then smol), Philadelphian is shithole city filled with shithole fans, and sports are soap operas for men and if you think otherwise its cope.

So our story starts all the way back in 2013, an analytics nerd named Sam Hinkie is hired by the 76ers basketball team to be their general manager, a team that hadn't won a championship since Ronald Reagan was inventing crack and getting alzhiemers. Now unlike most other basketball GMs who want to win right away and will sign players to dogshit contracts in a desperate attempt to not get fired, Sam hinkie decided to go with the revolutionary idea of being utterly shit, on purpose. Now teams have been shitty before and had to basically call it a day before, but Hinkie figured that this mediocre sixers team had less hope then a reddit mod so he decided the only way to truly compete with the actual good teams was to just eat shit for years and accumulate assets. Unlike anyone who has unironically used the phrase "diamond hands" the assets hinkie was trying to accumulate(draft picks) were actually worth something.

So through the power of being shit, and taking on other teams dogshit contracts along with picks, the sixers accumulated approximately a fuckload of draft picks, the sixers had selected quite a few actually great young players like walking meme Joel Embiid, Ben simmons, and a host of other solid young players, as well as still having a pretty good amount of draft capital. Sadly, Sam "look how big brain I am" hinkie would then get basically bullied out of the organization and then rage quit with a 13 page unabomber esque manifesto, not great!

His replacement were father/son duo, The Colangelos, who would then precede to fuck everything up. They made multiple bad trades, took multiple literal meme players( Markelle"I dont know how to shoot" Fultz over an elite player in Jayson Tatum), even through these literal brainlet choices, the Sixers had actually grown by 2018 in an actual playoff team led by Embiid and Ben Simmons, and then they won a few championships and everyone lived happily ever after.

Nah, instead, the team began to stagnate and couldn't seem to get over the hump, they kept choking in the playoffs and JUST missing out on going on that truly team defining run, and so that brings us to the real meme of the post: Benjamin David Simmons.

Simmons and Embiid form this teams backbone, and well embiid has struggled with multiple injuries(being 9 feet tall and like 900 pounds not normal unless youre an american, and even then theyre usually only like 5 feet tall) he has progressed into one of the best overall players in the league, and continued to progress each year as well as be a fan favorite. Ben Simmons on the other hand, came into the league as an elite defensive player, an elite passer, but with a weak offensive game otherwise, and in his entire career, he literally has not changed at all. His stats have actually regressed a bit, now this might not be a huge issue since he's on paper still a pretty good player overall, but ole benny bitchboy got a massive payday and was expected to help this team take the next step, and oh boy, it has not gone well.

Ben's biggest crutch is that effectively he is a giant pussy, his one big issue is that he can't and wont learn how to shoot, now not everyone is going to be able to yeet the ball from 500 yards away for 50 points like Steph Curry can, but Ben simmons has taken refusing to look bad shooting air balls and ducks to an art form. After years of different teammates and coaches basically begging Simmons to stop being a bitch, the dam finally burst when in a pivotal game 7 against the atlanta Hawks this past years playoffs(and after multiple pretty dogshit performances throughout the playoffs prior to this) Ben Simmons had a one on one with a player named Trae Young. Now to put it kindly, Trae young is one of the best offensive players in the league, while also being like a 5 foot tall traffic cone on defense, he also sort of looks like a Gremlin(including his hair cut). 99.9% of players in this situation(1v1 with just a smol goblin blocking the basket) will easily go for a layup, or a dunk, because Trae Young probably couldnt stop me in the paint, and I'm about as athletic as any cracker effort posting on a niche drama hub of mentally ill losers can be, but Ben Simmons is a different breed.

Simmons would see this dangerous little goblin in his path, and then PASS THE BALL

I can't understate just how much of a pussy move this was, it would also lead to the sixers falling apart the remainder of that game and then losing. Simmons Coach would then meme him a bit in the postgame interview, as would his actually not dogshit team Joel Embiid. Simmons being the literal coward to end all sports cowards, would then demand a trade in the coming weeks, and basically just hide away all summer avoiding talking to teammates or coaches like he was a turbo-virgin who didn't want to talk to a girl who wasn't made of polygons.

The season is about to start however, and well Simmons said he would not show up to training camp or play, he then realized he wouldn't get paid and panicked and showed up(he also isnt vaccinated which caused other issues for the team), now you might think, wow, is this finally where Ben Simmons decides to act like a non meme 8 year old and just nut up, play, and try to win some games? Well you'd be wrong you stupid bitch.

Simmons showed up to practice today, and effectively just went AFK until the coach asked him to you know, practice, to which ben replied by literally just walking out and getting suspended.

When the sixers first went to trade Simmons, there were multiple reports that his value was super high(all star player, still in his mid 20s, locked up to a long term deal) but as the months have worn on, the hopes for a trade to get an actual elite player ala Damian Lillard have waned to the point that the sixers may not even get an actual starting level player back, which would leave the sixers devoid of assets, devoid of cap space(besides ben and joel, theyre paying some other not elite players a shitton), as a middling playoff team who is led by an elite player who has serious nagging injury problems, which is basically right back to where the sixers started this process all the way back when they hired hinkie almost 8 years ago now.

Now you might be asking what is the point of this weird rambling effort post? I don't know, you should be asking yourself why you read it, idiot.