Pronouns he/him/his

To begin, my background:

I have been a rights activist as long as I can remember, I have 5 years post-grad education but in varied fields (meaning I'm a PhD in number of classes, but more a jill-of-all-trades instead of a specialist), I was raised by two psychologists (who definately raised me to understand their field, so I have a lot of the technical knowledge but none of the bedside manner), and who went into biotech and the sciences, and I'm also a trans woman. So, this is answer is going to be probably one of the most correct answers you're going to get, but also one of the most technical, but I'll try to keep it as understandable as possible, but it's going to be long-winded, so... I'm sorry for that.

So, now to your answer.

First, before I go further, I want to say that I'm not offended currently. And I'm not telling you who you should date or shouldn't, nor am I telling you that it's transphobic not to fall in love with certain people. What I am trying to do is tell you how to say what you're apparently trying to say, instead of what you said.

Secondly, just so you know, the question you just asked, the way you asked initially, is borderline transphobic, and is considered one of the classic "accidentally transphobic" questions. However, you're also asking the question of how to ask, so definitely putting this in the 'accidental' category.

Now, before you get angry about me calling your question transphobic, I'm going to explain wh