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We had a “Firework Shooting” on Thursday. It was terrifyingly traumatic. : Teachers

https://old.reddit.com/r/Teachers/comments/pvg961/we_had_a_firework_shooting_on_thursday_it_was?sort=controversial

During lunch, a group of students thought it would be funny to light off about 100 firecrackers in one of the stairwells. What proceeded afterwards was nothing short of mass hysteria and panic.

Only in yankeestan. In my country no one REEEE;s about "muh mass shottings!" when some children light off firecrackers in class

Also

:marseywhirlyhat:

fiirwerks!

I was sitting in my classroom eating lunch with some students when a student of my runs into my room to announce there’s a shooter on campus. I look out my window from the second floor and see about 100 students running across the bus circle and hitting the fence to jump it, fleeing onto a busy road for safety. It turns out, all over campus students were running for their lives.

As a former student I imagine a lot of them were just running because it meant they could get out of class.

:marseywhirlyhat: :marseykyle:

An announcement comes on, but my incompetent administrator yells something incomprehensible and it cuts out (the intercoms have been absolute shit at my school for years).

lol

I later heard stories that teachers were locking students out of their rooms, panicking with the hysteria, and making matters much worse than needed

LMAO. Imagine going back to english class the next day knowing Mrs bitcherson left you to fricking die

126
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I've made up my mind, teachers are worse than nurses. They deserve their low wages and should have to buy their own markers.

I'm at an elementary school. A few weeks back I saw one of these ammo cans sitting outside the boys bathroom. I proceeded to shit bricks, run inside the office and alert the admin, and had the scariest 2 minutes of my life.

Turned out to be that one of the 6th graders, who is neurodivergent and obsessed with military, had bought that ammo box over the weekend at the army surplus store and was using it as his lunch box 🙃 he hadn't even thought of how inappropriate it would be to have at school.

It's a fricking ammo can you kitty.

Another one:

the school shooter culture is a big reason I decided to walk away for a year.

You got your jocks, nerds, preps and at that table the school shooters.

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Meanwhile, This Badass .30 Caliber Ammo Case Puts Your Lunch Box to Shame

Kid was just being trendy :marseycry:

ETA: that article is from 2012. Woefully out of fashion, yikes!

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Reminds me of Cracked, back when they were funny.

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Cracked was funny? When was that? When Funny or Die was still funny?

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Probably before Funny or Die was a thing

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And you can carry it to work on yesterday’s badass gadget, the ZBoard electric skateboard.

lmfao I shiggy diggy

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he hadn't even thought of how inappropriate it would be to have at school.

Is 6th grade 11 and 12 year olds? And this teacher expects an neurodivergent child to not bring in his cool new r-slur lunchbox because he should consider his teacher's over reactions?

Burgers deserve this tbh. Joke of a country.

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What about my lunchbox made out of human skin?

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What colour is the skin?

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🏀

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It's a fricking ammo can you kitty.

Right? It's literally just a reusable metal box

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But it’s military grade!

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I always find it so funny when people regurgitate that shit and lap it up.

Almost everything in the military is shit that's cheap enough to buy in bulk and just effective enough to justify being so cheap. It's a great marketing ploy though given the autism Americans are afflicted with. Take the marketing campaign Ford had some time ago where they were all gungho in their ads about their truck beds being made out of "military grade materials" which, iirc, was really just aluminum or some shit.

My M16A2 was a fricking dirt magnet that needed CLP constantly no matter how well I cared for it. The upper reciever straight up rattled when anyone touched the darn thing. They told us it was "the weapon of a disciplined warrior." What they really meant was "it's functional scrap that needs to be tediously taken care of so the next body that fills your place on the firing line can use it after you've eaten a round."

Tl;dr LOL! "Military grade" 😂

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spray rifle with shitloads of oil

dirt sticks to oil

spray rifle with even more oil

:marseyrope:

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Repeat ad nauseam until you have to turn it in. Then claw your eyes out and scream as they kick the fricking thing back to you because "ThE sTaR cHaMbEr Is DiRtY."

Weapons pool. Never. Fricking. Again.

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I had one of those in HS because I wanted to be like solid snake.

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I had one to put my bb guns in

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neurodivergent and obsessed with the military

Many such cases

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I'm doing my part!

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Pretty ridiculous that the military (officially) bans the tistics ain't it?

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It has to be some wink wink "sure we do" policy because I have some outlandish sperg stories from people who are now in the military, including commissioned officers

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They will seriously ban anyone if it's definitively proven but it's definitely not something they try to weed out in practice. Weaponized autism in a literal sense is totally real and they are all over the intel sphere and technical specialties.

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Don't forget combat arms

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The trick is to drop the spaz behind enemy lines with a bunch of ammo and tell him Sonic is canceled

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Recruiters literally tell you to lie at MEPS about everything

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Your local recruiting station would like to know your location

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Wherever you have a large foid population, teachers, nurses, hr it's going to be shitty. They can't help themselves and if there aren't enough moids to keep them in check you get this sort of thing

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You couldn't pay me enough to work in a majority foid workplace. Some of the cattiest shit I've ever seen. Nothing gets done. Throw in 🏀Americans, and it's just over.

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Used to work in a place that was run by 🏀 foids and mayo foids. It was an absolute shit show and just thinking about the shit I endured there makes my mind violently recoil in anger and disgust

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Reminds me of how teachers would shit themselves if they saw someone fiddling with a spent casing or something. It is endlessly frustrating that burgers are too scared to learn about guns and what actually makes them dangerous

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I heard just touching a gun can make a bullet fly out of it, pop of a wall and hit you directly in the head!

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Ballistic Americans are cringe af but at least they understand how firearms work and don't get ptsd from seeing pew pews online

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