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Remember LavenderAuthor (spide/spider)? He is a Chris Chan tier mega autist and refused to shave his cat after @carpathianflorist requested it. What an asshole! The last time we took a look at spide, spide opened an Etsy and sold incredibly neurodivergent merchandise. Well it seems like this venture failed. Lets see what this cute little autist is up too now.

First some updates. Spide sadly failed to raise any money for spiders transition, it seems none of you bigots donated anything. The fat person is spide. He is also a libertarian so dont feel bad for spide. Lavender is an AgeRe, an AgeRegressor, a fucking Libertarian.

Here is the link to his red bubble in case you wanna support Lavender

Link to Etsy

Now that we established just how incredivly neurodivergent this fat folx is, lets see some updates on his newest passion: Writing. Thats right. This cute enby is a professional writer now. Just a quick head up, you will have to read all of this because its incredibly fucking funny and super fucking neurodivergent.

"Describing Trans Women in literature"

"So I'm Nonbinary(I sadly have boobs) and in a future WLW story(maybe my third one?), I have a WLW relationship between a Japanese herbo(Like a himbo) farmer and a Vietnamese hardwarestore employee who is a transwoman named Bình Linh Phạm (靈 平 范).

Would it be bad to, loosely, describe the transwoman's chest? A quick blurb in her character chart is "....Bình has short arms, slender shoulders, a lean torso with small breasts she was proud of(having grown them just a few years ago) and a larger-than-average waist, and long legs."

I normally don't mention anyone's chest unless it's the ribcage but I hear so many transwomen get so excited about getting breast buds or finally getting their boobs and thought it would be a good edition to the Description section. (Note: I almost always describe arms, legs, torso, and face)"

Of course, spide also needs a "sensitivity reader" to make sure his book isnt hecking offending!

"Sensitivity Readers are there to make sure you're doing right by your characters/plot based on various factors like accidentally racism, ableism, queerphobia, xenophobia, etc."~lavenderauthor. Again this guy is genuine, this is fucking incredible.

Of course the lolcow is also r-slurred and thus includes a tourette-tard in his book.

"I'm NOT getting- Yip yip- frust- wow!- frustrated! I'm- H-h-oe it! Yip! The g-g-ground, not the petunias! Wow!" Louhi set her project down and cleared her throat, face red. "I'm perfectly calm! Perfectly calm! Cool- Cutie button! Wow! So shiny!- Cool as a cucumber."

Just a snipped from spides upcoming masterpiece.

If you take a look at spides profile history, you can see that spide spams his requests until he gets engagement or a ban. Well it seems that spide is well known for his autism across multiple forums.

"Op has a history of being combatant and rude if their very specific political beliefs are not aligned with. I have been called several forms of ist and frankly OP is an awful offender about being incredibly gross about disabilities sexualities and cultures they want to include for the sake of wokeness. I won't tell you not to engage at all but please know what you're in for first."

Shocking! Even more shocking is that spide is so absolutely neurodivergent that his government is forcing him into therapy to get his burning retardation into control.

"Help! How do I help overturn this decision by my provider?! My provider is planning on covering ABA!"

"I'm not sure. It's being covered and you don't have to apply but I don't even want them to allow coverage for literal torture"

This folx is literally beeing tortured under a fascist regime! Why havent you dramatards not donated to him already?

Back to spides writing career, it seems his writing is so successfull he started to give writing advice

"Thought of a new way to make interesting country/nation/etc names. Just randomize a number between 1-10 twice, once for vowels and another for Consonants. Consonants are labeled 1-21(20 If you subtract Y), Vowels are Labeled 1-5(6 if you add Y)"

Sadly people in the comments dont seem to be on spides intelectual level, as there seems to be massive confusion what the fuck he is talking about.

  1. ""Thou'bloow" is a good way to describe you for coming up with this bullshit system."

"Oh go fuck yourself if you think someone having fun with their writing is a good reason to be a giant prick. Don't you have a book to deepthroat or fuck or something?"

  1. "Shouldn't your worry more about your plot and characters than inventing a language for your story?"

"Dude. You're acting like a language ain't also apart of writing a story. Also, never said I was crafting a language specifically for my story, not that it matters if I was."


In an effort to represent judaism in his book, spide has decided to do some research and came to conclusion that the best way of portraying jews is as hook nosed gold obsessed little kings.

"Is this about your “Jewish not-a-dwarf” again? Because I still don’t get why you’d put a real-life religion in tour fantasy setting when it doesn’t really make sense to be there. Genuinely curious."

"AnD again. I'll repeat myself that it's not a fantasy anymore and why SHOULDN'T real life religions be added into Fantasy? Or at least something similar for that world? Seems pretty limiting for the author.

Edit: Yeah. Pumpkin ain't a Dwarf anymore."

"AnD again. I'll repeat myself that it's not a fantasy anymore and why SHOULDN'T real life religions be added into Fantasy? Or at least something similar for that world? Seems pretty limiting for the author.

Edit: Yeah. Pumpkin ain't a Dwarf anymore."

.... this goes on for a while but never stops beeing hilarious.

Last but not least, as we established, spide is a libertarian. And what do Libertarians like the most? Grooming children. So what needs to be included in spides book? Correct, child grooming.

"Naming Traditions and A Transgender Child"

"o I know that it's common to go through routes to name the baby and how it's commonly different between boys and girls but what happens when one of the babies is trans and needs a new name? What is the tradition for that? Like say a jewish transwoman wants a new name as their old no longer describes them.

I know it depends on how traditional her community is and which sect she belongs to but just curious! Any sect's views are a good thing to learn!

(Finally got to this part of my research!)"

Sadly j-slurs yalled the comments for beeing hecking rude! Still, here is a funny interaction.

  1. "A trans ... baby? How do you know the baby is trans??" This leads to some more funny hecking sperging from the entire community.

"A Transgender Child. A baby is genderless with most people going off of genitalia and some actually waiting until the baby is old enough to say what they want to go by via pronouns and the like."

SO TRUE! Use removeddit to see the rest.

Well thats it. I did it. A hecking effortpost. Enjoy the update about my favorite lolcow.

Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

This is a j-slur abuse comment section btw. Any "words words words" posting will lead to a hecking agenda-poster theme. Required reading basically. Effort posts and lolcow spergs are 10 times more dramatarded than any post sneeding about 🚂🚃🚃s sneeding about whatever. TLDR stop beeing massive twinks, stay cute tho!

I feel a little bit bad laughing at this person. Their Reddit history is hilarious but that Etsy page just fills me with melancholy.

I mean, how do we lure spide here for milking?

We already did. Well I did. Spide sperged out in mod mail and refused to shave spides cat.

Oh shit, I thought that happened on the subreddit. Where does the time go?

that Etsy page just fills me with melancholy

1 Sold

I can't believe the level of transphobia on Etsy

I look at that page and all I can think about is how hard life is going to be for this r-slur. Spide has been mindraped by the internet, and now this sad failed Etsy venture selling yarn balls is probably as good as it gets. It's all downhill from here and really the best they can hope for is an early OD or maybe becoming a ward of the state.

Just want to say that I appreciate the effortpost about an honest to god lolcow. I remember the first one and have wondered from time to time how spide has been doing.

Appreciate you, you are heckin cute, valid and brave :marseylove: :marseylove: :marseylove:


Yet another reason why everyone hates smelly luke

Hi @luke,

Your comment has been automatically removed because you forgot to include trans lives matter.

Don't worry, we're here to help! We won't let you post or comment anything that doesn't express your love and acceptance towards the trans community. Feel free to resubmit your comment with trans lives matter included.

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There's something beautifully ironic about this clearly mentally unstable person being super active on r/AreThe(Cis/Straights)Ok




Get fuckin zozzed on

First time on the website :marseylove:

should have just shaved your cat, fucking asshole.


also that r/asktransgender post is really good, someone should post it to stackoverflow

gonna build a name generator thing later based off lavender's country name thing.

call me a r-slur In a reply so I don't forget

r slur meg r slur

Been a while since i saw an effortpost. May even read this one

Im not reading this one, read it for me and tell me if it is any good.

TL;DR Sperging of a clearly mentally unstable Non-binary redditor that was left to his own devices and uses Spide/Spider pronouns, whose hobby is writing except what he writes is god awful, whenever he asks for advice on writing he seethes at any criticism and injects trans/lgbt/jewish/literally every possible minority into every of his "works"

Hmm. Could you make this shorter yet? If I'm not entertained 3 words in my attention goes towards planning where my new funko pops will go

Autist 🚂🚃🚃 Dumb

🚂 r rart

Rdrama needs to come together to help spide with some useful writing tips on trans Jewish spidelets :marseypipe:

This better not awaken anything in me.

Of course, spide also needs a "sensitivity reader" to make sure his book isnt hecking offending!

Delete this

Thx for your hard work kellere. Very fun lolcow

Ok, this is the first drama post in a while I failed to decipher.

The fuck is a “spide”? A pronoun?

Is he/she writing some kind of fantasy book? With transgender Jews? What the fuck?

Why are there non binary Vietnamese and Japanese characters? Like a self-insert fetish thing?

Also aren’t asians stereotypically portrayed as being ladyboys/effeminate. So having non-binary characters specifically written as Asian by a mayo is pretty offensive.

Look at him, not neurodivergent enough to understande spide.


Mods, please remove this fucking disgusting hate speech from our forum. We cannot tolerate alt right bigots gaslighting us like this. I am literally having a PTSD-induced anxiety attack right now.



Basically the same thing the difference is only a matter of degree.

Just the tip or the whole thing?

are you neurodivergent, too? because what the fuck is that title...

i'm not even going to attempt to read the thread.

Idk I think the title is pretty clear about the posts content

holy shit his whole shtick is being lgbt or whatever when will he get his personality assignment surgery

Is this the one who thought we were all mtg nerds?(that's someone else, i have brainrot) Glad to see spider grow and develop like this :marseyspider2:

Pirakaplant is equally neurodivergent and lgbt obsessed so it’s understandable to mix up the cows

I have a vague idea of that etsy shop from the times of r/drama (may Allah (SWT) have mercy on it)

I didn't know spide was such a spergout. But my not dead yet compassionate side, feels a bit bad for spider. On the other hand spide has free help available and refuses to go, so I don't know where that leaves me.

It was a lot of reading and it was so not worth it, but keep it going, we need variety in this sub, so I unequivocally approve of this post. Please keep them going!

:zzz: :zzz: :zzz:

click on post

raise any money for spiders transition

Like clockwork

refused to shave his cat

If this isn't a metaphor I don't blame spide. I've got a 19 year old cat that won't fucking die and just like gave up on grooming. Have to hold that fucker down and shave him every spring to deal with mats, huge fucking ordeal.

Pssshhhh. Imagine begging for donations for surgery instead of tying a tight rubber band around the base of your dick and letting it rot and fall off like a real dedicated train would do. These light weights aren’t dedicated.

♻ Please consider the environment before printing this comment ♻

tldr pls

Weren't we supposed to learn a lesson from Chris-Chan?