Remember LavenderAuthor (spide/spider)? He is a Chris Chan tier mega autist and refused to shave his cat after @carpathianflorist requested it. What an butthole! The last time we took a look at spide, spide opened an Etsy and sold incredibly neurodivergent merchandise. Well it seems like this venture failed. Lets see what this cute little autist is up too now.

First some updates. Spide sadly failed to raise any money for spiders transition, it seems none of you bigots donated anything. The fat person is spide. He is also a p-dophile so dont feel bad for spide. Lavender is an AgeRe, an AgeRegressor, a fricking Libertarian.

Here is the link to his red bubble in case you wanna support Lavender

Link to Etsy

Now that we established just how incredivly neurodivergent this fat folx is, lets see some updates on his newest passion: Writing. Thats right. This cute enby is a professional writer now. Just a quick head up, you will have to read all of this because its incredibly fricking funny and super fricking neurodivergent.

"Describing Trans Women in literature"

"So I'm Nonbinary(I sadly have boobs) and in a future WLW story(maybe my third one?), I have a WLW relationship between a Japanese herbo(Like a himbo) farmer and a Vietnamese hardwarestore employee who is a transwoman named Bình Linh Phạm (靈 平 范).

Would it be bad to, loosely, describe the transwoman's chest? A quick blurb in her character chart is "....Bình has short arms, slender shoulders, a lean torso with small breasts she was proud of(having grown them just a few years ago) and a larger-than-average waist, and long legs."

I normally don't mention anyone's chest unless it's the ribcage but I hear so many transwomen get so excited about getting breast buds or finally getting their boobs and thought it would be a good edition to the Description section. (Note: I almost always describe arms, legs, torso, and face)"

Of course, spide also needs a "sensitivity reader" to make sure his book isnt hecking offending!

"Sensitivity Readers are there to make sure you're doing right by your characters/plot based on various factors like accidentally racism, ableism, queerphobia, xenophobia, etc."~lavenderauthor. Again this guy is genuine, this is fricking incredible.

Of course the lolcow is also r-slurred and thus includes a tourette-tard in his book.

"I'm NOT getting- Yip yip- frust- wow!- frustrated! I'm- H-h-oe it! Yip! The g-g-ground, not the petunias! Wow!" Louhi set her project down and cleared her throat, face red. "I'm perfectly calm! Perfectly calm! Cool- Cutie button! Wow! So shiny!- Cool as a cucumber."

Just a snipped from spides upcoming masterpiece.

If you take a look at spides profile history, you can see that spide spams his requests until he gets engagement or a ban. Well it seems that spide is well known for his autism across multiple forums.

"Op has a history of being combatant and rude if their very specific political beliefs are not aligned with. I have been called several forms of ist and frankly OP is an awful offender about being incredibly gross about disabilities sexualities and cultures they want to include for the sake of wokeness. I won't tell you not to engage at all but please know what you're in for first."

Shocking! Even more shocking is that spide is so absolutely neurodivergent that his government is forcing him into therapy to get his burning r-sluration into control.

"Help! How do I help overturn this decision by my provider?! My provider is planning on covering ABA!"

"I'm not sure. It's being covered and you don't have to apply but I don't even want them to allow coverage for literal torture"

This folx is literally beeing tortured under a fascist regime! Why havent you dramatards not donated to him already?

Back to spides writing career, it seems his writing is so successfull he started to give writing advice

"Thought of a new way to make interesting country/nation/etc names. Just randomize a number between 1-10 twice, once for vowels and another for Consonants. Consonants are labeled 1-21(20 If you subtract Y), Vowels are Labeled 1-5(6 if you add Y)"

Sadly people in the comments dont seem to be on spides intelectual level, as there seems to be massive confusion what the frick he is talking about.

1. ""Thou'bloow" is a good way to describe you for coming up with this bullshit system."

"Oh go frick yourself if you think someone having fun with their writing is a good reason to be a giant prick. Don't you have a book to deepthroat or frick or something?"

1. "Shouldn't your worry more about your plot and characters than inventing a language for your story?"

"Dude. You're acting like a language ain't also apart of writing a story. Also, never said I was crafting a language specifically for my story, not that it matters if I was."

HELP SPIDE IS GETTING CYBER BULLIED!

In an effort to represent judaism in his book, spide has decided to do some research and came to conclusion that the best way of portraying jews is as hook nosed gold obsessed manlets.

"Is this about your “Jewish not-a-dwarf” again? Because I still don’t get why you’d put a real-life religion in tour fantasy setting when it doesn’t really make sense to be there. Genuinely curious."

"AnD again. I'll repeat myself that it's not a fantasy anymore and why SHOULDN'T real life religions be added into Fantasy? Or at least something similar for that world? Seems pretty limiting for the author.

Edit: Yeah. Pumpkin ain't a Dwarf anymore."

"AnD again. I'll repeat myself that it's not a fantasy anymore and why SHOULDN'T real life religions be added into Fantasy? Or at least something similar for that world? Seems pretty limiting for the author.

Edit: Yeah. Pumpkin ain't a Dwarf anymore."

.... this goes on for a while but never stops beeing hilarious.

Last but not least, as we established, spide is a libertarian. And what do Libertarians like the most? Grooming children. So what needs to be included in spides book? Correct, child grooming.

"Naming Traditions and A Transgender Child"

"o I know that it's common to go through routes to name the baby and how it's commonly different between boys and girls but what happens when one of the babies is trans and needs a new name? What is the tradition for that? Like say a jewish transwoman wants a new name as their old no longer describes them.

I know it depends on how traditional her community is and which sect she belongs to but just curious! Any sect's views are a good thing to learn!

(Finally got to this part of my research!)"

Sadly jannies yalled the comments for beeing hecking rude! Still, here is a funny interaction.

1. "A trans ... baby? How do you know the baby is trans??" This leads to some more funny hecking sperging from the entire community.

"A Transgender Child. A baby is genderless with most people going off of genitalia and some actually waiting until the baby is old enough to say what they want to go by via pronouns and the like."

SO TRUE! Use removeddit to see the rest.

Well thats it. I did it. A hecking effortpost. Enjoy the update about my favorite lolcow.