Saying Goodbye

how many pingas can you chew?

Is it the pibbles? The incessant ruralcelposting? Please tell me

No clue, I saw everyone else doing it so I jumped on the trend.

I'm definitely 1000% serious about leaving, though.

I've plotted this out, Longpostbot forgive me.

Season 1 - Giga is just a boy with a sister he loves very much. His father dies in an unfortunate cowfricking accident (he was fricking the cow), and his mother takes up with Steven Atkins, a local pibble breeder. The season is a series of near-escapes where Giga manges to escape his stepfather's dogs time and time again, but unfortunately his sister tries to play with one and is torn limb from limb in the season finale. Giga kills it with a knife and is beaten to near-death by his abusive stepfather. The last scene ends with Steve cracking his knuckles as he walks towards the badly beaten Giga - he turns to the camera and says "I'll be right back" in a menacing tone. Fade to black.

Season 2 - The teenage years. Giga has left home and works on a farm for his extended family, but his injuries from childhood prevent him from properly killing pibbles. This series has a lot of Giga vs dogs, man vs animal hunting where he kills them with his trusty pibble knife. He is injured one episode before the season finale. He travels into the nearest big city (1200 people) for the first time in his life and is struck dead with fear by the huge machines (mobility scooters) roaming the streets. He sees an old lady walking her pibble, and in an effort to save her from it slits its throat in front of her. She calls the police and he flees into the night.

Season 3 - On the run from the law, Giga hunts down several police pibbles. He plays a game of cat and mouse with police but is eventually caught by the owner of the local pound who lured him there by declaring his shelter no-kill for the pibble population. in the season finale he is attacked by the owner of the pound dressed as a pibble which makes him start hallucinating along with the meth he routinely shoves in his butthole. He is defeated in a climactic battle and is arrested by the local sheriff.

Season 4 - The prison arc. Giga spends time in minimum-security prison with many pibble owners, studying them as he plans to escape. Over the course of his two-years weekend-only sentence, he uses his time outside of the prison to properly evaluate it, understanding every last inch of the 3 foot fence surrounding it. He manages a daring escape with two friends he makes in prison, and they evade the law, running into the countryside. In the season finale Giga ends up sleeping with both of his friends in a steamy gay escapade, ending the season with his new catchphrase as he pulls out of Tony's anus - "dude bussy lmao".

Season 5 - Transition arc. To escape the law and to explore his own gender, Giga starts taking estrogen in huge amounts, though he refuses to shave his beard. His attempts at transitioning are easily seen through by the local sheriff, but Sheriff Jones-Malone-Greene is a staunch feminist and refuses to arrest a proud woman for defending herself against pitbulls. Consequently he is free to continue his campaign of killing pitties, and in a massive season finale opens his own slaughterhouse where he turns them into dog steaks to be shipped to China.

Season 6 - Harvard Law arc. Giga is admitted to Harvard Law due xer life story as a proud businesswoman/ex-con, and fricks around or something, I don't know.

Season 7 - Revenge arc. Giga returns and hunts and tracks down the pitbulls of his stepfather, having trained with several Harvard lawyers who are incredibly racist and hunt pitbulls for fun, knowing their power and wealth protects them. He turns his slaughterhouse into a law firm, defending innocent cops who shoot pibbles in the course of no-knock raids. He begins a relationship with the sheriff, but this falls apart when Giga hunts down his stepfather's last pitbull. It turns out Steve had grafted pitbull parts onto himself in an effort to be able to kiss children (due to being a p-do) and has an incredibly strong bite. Giga manages to kill him in a battle using the cow whip (cow fricking & BDSM) his father left him, but is left for dead.

Season 8 - Romance arc. Settling down after his revenge, Giga meets a beautiful woman (male) and begins a relationship. All episodes but one in the season are beautiful romantic ones like in the romantic comedy How I Met Your Mother (I see Giga as sort of a cross between Ted and a less gay version of Ted). After five years she adopts a pitbull, and at their wedding he has to decide what is more important to him - his principles or his romance. He breaks down and admits he loves Alexandria (male) more than he loves his revenge, and they walk down the aisle together. Except when they pull back Giga's veil, he's gone. Instead there's a mannequin with the severed head of Alex's pibble on top of a mannequin built out of stuffed rats - he was cheating on her with an English taxidermist all along. Shot with Giga balls-deep in the handsome Englishman, he winks, stating 'dude bussy lmao'. Credits.