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:!marseyprisma: :marseyobey: lmao someone found her son's AHS spreadsheet :marseyobey: :marseyramen:

slate.com

:!marseyshy: :marsey1984: :marseyobey: :!marsey1984: :marseyshy:

Dear Care and Feeding,

My son, “Jack,” 14, has been maintaining a spreadsheet that tracks all of his classmate’s problematic actions. Jack has always had difficulty fitting in, but he is a compassionate and intelligent boy. We do not allow our children to have their own computers to prevent the risk of them being radicalized by alt-right websites, so our kids share a laptop that we monitor and control access to. We found an excel spreadsheet in Jack’s folder that listed the names of all of his classmates, as well as dates and descriptions of their problematic behavior.

Some of the descriptions I saw include “has a mom who is a cop,” “no pronouns in insta bio,” “laughed at a fat joke,” “lists problematic show as one of their favorites,” “mimicked a foreign accent,” and “used cis-normative language.”

While I am pleased to see Jack taking an interest in his peers, I get a weird feeling about his spreadsheet. As much as I don’t condone the behaviors mentioned, it seems a bit creepy for him to be monitoring his classmates. I also wonder what he is trying to do with the document.

Another concern is that we are white and some of the kids on the list are Black. Given the long history of white people policing Black existence, I question whether Jack is the right person to be taking on this task and whether it would be more appropriate coming from a BIPOC person.

We have asked Jack about the spreadsheet and he denies involvement, but we know that it couldn’t be anyone else. Am I right to be concerned about Jack’s list? I don’t know that it is the best way for him to engage with his peers and promote social justice. On the other hand, I am proud of how committed he is to this cause and I don’t want to stop him from bearing witness to injustices within his own community.

—Problematic or Productive?

Dear PoP,

Based on what you’ve mentioned here, his list does seem a little creepy. Kids at that age should be having fun, not documenting every transgression his peers are making. Also, the fact that he’s blatantly lying about his involvement in creating this list should be a huge red flag. If everything is on the up and up, then what does he have to hide? I would personally call his bluff and say, “OK, if this spreadsheet has nothing to do with you, then let’s delete it.” If he raises a stink, then you know that something bigger is at play here.

I respect your viewpoint about being uncomfortable with Jack policing the behavior of his Black peers, but as a Black man, that should be the least of your concerns. Your main objective is to find out why he wants to monitor his classmates in the first place. Is he trying to be a social justice vigilante in an effort to be viewed as cool? Does he want his classmates to be “cancelled” for doing things that he considers to be wrong as a form of payback for not being accepted by them? The possibilities are endless. If you don’t feel equipped to get to the bottom of it, then I highly recommend getting a therapist involved because his behavior is not typical for a 14-year-old.

On a positive note, there are far worse things Jack could be doing than this—and it seems as if his heart is in the right place by being in the corner of marginalized groups. He could use his energy to volunteer as a Big Brother, write for the school newspaper (if they have one), or look for other opportunities at school to make everyone feel included.

I just think the spreadsheet is something that could end up being bad news for him, and I hope you enroll him in therapy so an unbiased mental health professional can tell him the same thing.

:marseywtf2: :marseywtf:

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Good find. Each sentence reads more like satire than the last but I fear this is real.

EDIT: I take it back this is clearly bait and I'm dumb for ever thinking otherwise. I'm still not sure why Salon would have posted it.

The letter is totally bait

More dramanauts should troll advice columns. "Ask [Name]" columnists would fall for some crazy bait

That's what trolling was like before Usenet, from what I have read.

No you dumb cute twink you'd unironically be doing their work for free. Become a journ*list instead. :marseybluecheck:

That one is probably bait. But the one below?

I am a single African-American man with an 8-year-old daughter and a 6-year-old son. Our neighborhood is mostly African-American, but a white family moved in about two years ago. They’ve been friendly, open, and pleasant people, and after a short period of getting to know them, they’ve been arranging time for their kids to play with other kids in the neighborhood. This slowed down when Covid hit, and even then it never fully stopped.

About a week ago, my daughter Danielle came back from a playdate with one of their girls and said, “Daddy, the [neighbors name] is the only family I know of where the parents don’t hit each other? Is it because they’re white?” I know what I should have said. I should have told her that there are good people and bad people no matter what their race is, and that no group of people is more inclined to hit each other than any other, and that they’re just good people.

Father's reaction

That is not what I did. Instead, I broke down crying. The reason I did so is I’m a single father, and my children’s mother is in prison for assaulting me with a deadly weapon. She is currently serving a 16-year prison sentence. I don’t think they fully realize that (Danielle was three and Levon was 1 when she was arrested), but they do know that Mommy did something bad and had to go away.

Is everyone trying to bait this columnist or something? :marseyconfused: Or am I just an r-slur? :marseyretard:

Nah this one is actually believable. For how much the asians hate black people they sure do act like them.

Edit: referring to the domestic abuse here

Huh? Who's Asian in that story? I thought the whole family is black and the columnist himself is also black? :confused:

Hurrhurr durr durr you can only reference data within the article and not talk about anything else.

Oh, I was confused because I didn't know what you meant by Asian when you referred to domestic abuse. I mean, even with stereotypes, which Asian are you talking about here? Ricecels, currycels or hummuscels? So many to choose from. :marseythonk:

All of them. It's a very white thing to not be the man of your house by beating your kids and wife to keep them well behaved.

Actually getting thhe wife to go to jail for domestic violence? King shit

No, imprisoning the side piece as she is about to rat roll is the King move

Daddy, the [neighbors name] is the only family I know of where the parents don’t hit each other?

Of course this is where you immediately make it a black vs white thing, even though your kid made zero reference to race.

The insecurity of brack people is astounding.

Did you read the rest of the paragraph?

Is it because they’re white?” I know what I should have said. I should have told her that there are good people and bad people no matter what their race is, and that no group of people is more inclined to hit each other than any other, and that they’re just good people.

The daughter mentioned race, not him.

Slate letters are usually trolls, but the insane hosts always take them seriously.

i bet its the same dude writing all the letters as a hobby and just chuckling and showing his friends as the hosts try and give serious responses

yeah it might not be real BUT IT COULD BE REAL IT'S SO HARD TO TELL IN CURRENT YEAR AND THAT'S A HUGE ISSUE!!!!!!!!

Sure you made your son a retard by teaching idpol obsession but his heart is in the right place.

:marseyxd:

They've transformed into WWE heel parodies of leftoids by institutional market forces to go viral with rightoids. Someone call Karl Marx.

:karlmarxey: :karlmarxey: :karlmarxey:

Lmao this is bait so transparent even a blind cat can see through it.

Anytime I see the term "BIPOC" in the wild my rdrama detector starts warbling.

Lots of progressive people use it unironically though

Progressive

People

:marseythinkorino:

Sometimes I think you people srsly just don't interact with leftoids. This is like their favorite word. OP could 100% not be bait and I wouldn't be surprised

They literally say “bypock” without batting an eye like everyone has been saying it for thousands of years

Did I hear someone say Pocky? Love that stuff, have you tried the strawberry?

Yeah niggas be like "nobody could be that insane unironically" but anyone who deals with leftoids in person will tell you people can absolutely be that fucking insane unironically.

Buddy I guarantee you anyone who says BIPOC is serious. If you were baiting you'd say black and brown bodies because that was the hot term for a minute.

has a mom who is a cop

Yikes, nazis like these are also allowed to roam free in our society.

:marseyyikes:

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Imagine violating the ToS on rDrama? Thank you for taking care of that potential republican

While the advice was generally good, when talking to a domestic-violence survivor, I'd avoid the phrase "Please don’t beat yourself up too much."

:marseylaugh: :marseylaugh: :marseylaugh:

😂😂😂

I like how neither of them considered this just maybe might be the fault of shitty parenting

That excuse only works on pitbulls

Parents? To blame? Perish the thought.

Everybody with half a brain knows it but everyone with half a brain also knows you can't tell them that because a parent shitty enough to do stuff like this is also someone shitty enough to not accept anything anyone else says unless its sucking his cock front and center. Just ask my dad if you dont believe me.

Obviously the letter is bait but since the reply is serious:

On a positive note, there are far worse things Jack could be doing than this

This is false. As a parent I would rather have a school shooter as a child than this.

What do you think the list is on preparation for?

There will be at least one benefit to the first woke school shooting: calling all SJWs "stochastic terrorists" after would be very satisfying

Care and Feeding

:marseysneed:

Sneed's Care n' Feed

Formally Chuck's.

tfw no chucks chair n' cheed

use his energy to volunteer as a Big Brother

Bruh

Let the kid be mother. Do you really want to be added to the list?

This is a future mass shooter.

Worse, future reddit power j-slur.

Por que no los dos?

School shooters aren't THAT fat.

Worlds fattest school shooter clapclapclap

Future wife beater and deadbeat dad.

I have a spread sheet of rdrama users that just says "mayo" 😈

It never even began for Slate.

Fake fake fake fake For shame, dramatards swallowing this obvious bait.

Cry more. It could 100% be real, not even that much of a stretch, which is what makes it good bait if it is.

This is literally how zoomers behave, and the framing as only potentially maybe being a bad thing if it affects le bipocks is literally how mayolibs behave.

This, but unironically.

Acting like the gigachad meme doesn't actually make you cool.

Yes, it does.

:marseychad:

Bruh zoomers are offensive as fuck. It comes with the fact that they are teenagers.

They swing to extremes. There definitely are offensive ones but there are a lot of the woke tattling variety too, seeing as how many spend their time on Twitter trying to cancel people.

Bully early, bully often, bully relentlessly.

We do not allow our children to have their own computers to prevent the risk of them being radicalized by alt-right websites,

Another concern is that we are white and some of the kids on the list are Black.

I am proud of how committed he is to this cause and I don’t want to stop him from bearing witness to injustices within his own community.

apple doesn't rot far from the tree

I think Britain was right this time. You should need a license to use the internet.

It'd be terrible for dramacoin but if everyone's internet activity was publicly linked to their IRL identity then you'd suddenly see a lot of terminally online mayo nonsense disappear overnight.

Are you kidding? You literally just described Twitter blue checks and that's nothing but terminally online mayo nonsense. Linking their accounts to their irl identities only made them worse.

The opposite, actually. Big brothering would skyrocket

God wills it.

Get that kid enrolled on a computer science course ASAP! Bardfinn ain't gunna around forever to keep us safe and we need someone who can continue his database after he's gone.

This kid's clearly got the right idea, just needs to skill up in Microsoft Access and scale up his problematic-people list and he'll be there.

The common denominator of all the kids on the list? They all bullied him

Alright, which one of you

Edit: BTW, I'll try baiting some chuds at TiA with this. Wish me luck.

Edit2: look at that! Only took 2 hrs and several dozen comments for someone in there to realize they're being baited.

why did you blur out the names lol

The mods there are turbo gay

You say so but at least the j-slurs there clean the hall enough such the school does not get shut down, or at least forced to communicate in meme font

Reason for thing kid do is psychological. Enlist the help of a psychological rando to increase bullying. :marseytea:

Why are burgers so quick to put people in mental institutions? Like how many lunch moneys do you want extorted from your kids for being involved with that shit?

I think we need more psychologists in schools to improve bullying. I think it will allow for better targeted bullying and will be more effective.

Future school shooter.

I respect your viewpoint about being uncomfortable with Jack policing the behavior of his Black peers, but as a Black man, that should be the least of your concerns.

Bitch, yo' son be trippin'

We do not allow our children to have their own computers to prevent the risk of them being radicalized by alt-right websites

so instead you radicalize him with "alt-left" BS like "it's problematic you don't have pronouns in yer bio, that yer mom is a cop, and that you like a tv show!" as reasons on his hit list.

Oh boy rightoid bait, some 'diversity'

Kids do emulate their parents in really cringy ways; and if their mom and mom are blue hair landwhale redditors who spend all day fighting against evil nat zis, wacists, cops, drumpf, and sis white males, well guess what the kid is gonna do/say at school

example here https://old.reddit.com/r/TikTokCringe/comments/ppzn4s/12_year_olds_discussions_while_playing_warzone/

We do not allow our children to have their own computers to prevent the risk of them being radicalized by alt-right websites, so our kids share a laptop that we monitor and control access to.

This is hilarious bait, because it's identical to every "raise your children in a christian and godly way" parential advice website, just with the evils swapped around to different ones

I fell for the bait :drool: :meow: :tantrum:

Jack has a promising future with the Inquisition

If everything is on the up and up, then what does he have to hide?

Yeah he's clearly a libertarian in the making. Thanks Salon!

but as a Black man, that should be the least of your concerns.

You should be focused on donating to my charity gofundme page "End Black Enslavedment to Employment"

The 19th amendment was a mistake. Women are biologically wired to seek a provider, and in this case, it's the government. Since the 19th amendment was passed in 1919, the government has done nothing but expand and become more intrusive. Social security (a legit ponzi), the welfare state, increased taxation, the list goes on.

Look at the 2016 electoral map if only women voted. 49 states went blue. If only men voted? 49 states went red

Women shouldn't hold office either, or be in combat units in the military. They're emotional and bleed once a month, can't make rational decisions and inherently don't know how to lead, because women who separate themselves from other women in terms of ideas establish themselves as an "outsider" and it lessens their chances of finding a mate. We're animals, and our biology precedes everything.

According to my girlfriend, this opinion is pretty damn unpopular.


Snapshots:

Ok, this was written by one of you guys, it's literallt every joke we have.

Right?

R-right?

:marseyshook:

no pronouns in insta bio

Wow. This bait is sooooo fucking subtle and you shouldn't feel bad about falling for it at all

:ragemask:

We do not allow our children to have their own computers to prevent the risk of them being radicalized by alt-right websites

Obvious bait

That's a future school shooter

If this ain't bait, then nothing is. Read the next letter too, lol.

Top 10 Signs Your Kid Is an Internet Janitor (You won't belive #3!)