Comment
Jump in the discussion.

No email address required.

Wrote an email today/yesterday whatever with an application and shit. Turns out they don't allow attachments to E-Mails for some fucking reason. How do they expect you to actually apply?

:marseyshrug: :tayshrug: :shrug:

It r slurs fucked it up I suppose. Yes this needs to be pinned fuck you.

Noooo you have to send us a letter because our boomer secretaries are incapable of using the windows mail program :soyjakmaga: :soyjakmaga: :soyjakmaga: :soyjakmaga:

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

"Pick it up, wagie!"

I still think its funny they made a robot whose sole purpose is to yell at wagies to come clean it up.

Especially when it bumps into a display and creates the mess

I watched this happen when I was stumbling through a grocery store at 2 am. Thought I was in Blade Runner or some shit

Fuck you, this can’t be real? Have Americans really automated workplace harrasment??

:marseylaugh:

Based and terminatorpilled

The face of crushing, automated capitalism stamping out the last dregs of humanity is... Pretty funny tbh

I'm polished and professional and outgoing (and REALLY good at hiding my job search-related depression and despair). I can't get shit in my field.

Oh they know, they all know.

Just like a foid at a bar, these guys can smell the desperation on you like a cologne. Only difference is that recruiters will fuck you 100% of the time and the foids never will.

Imagine how badly you have to interview and how unlikeable you have to be in person to not get a job with any form of degree lmao.

Most of the people seething in there got meme degrees

I consider most liberal arts degrees meme, and about 20% of my friends have one. I still don’t think a single person I know is unemployed.

They literally hand you jobs if you have a piece of paper, how bad do you have to come across to get filtered after getting past the filter?

I don't even have a degree and make more than that. I regret not dropping out of high school after grade 10.

I went with music cause I wanted to have fun and not work for a few years. just starting at a new company, they're starting me of as a junior tech so I'm not making the big cash yet, but they want to specialize me later so I'm pretty happy with the situation.

Great job. I hope you kick some ass.

I have a fucking music degree and am getting offers for $30 an hour technical jobs a year out of university

That’s the way it if you’re not completely hateable irl.

I suspect too many people act like robots in interviews. I did acting and improv when I was in elementary and high school, and it has paid off immensely for meetings and demos. Being able to spitball and improvise is like cheating.

Edit: You just have to be very careful about not improvising technical bullshit b/c someone can easily call you out, lol.

Graduate with tard-level GPA

Somehow a top performer with upward mobility

It's almost like academia is a scam

I bombed a few of my first interviews, then I studied and got a job luls… not sure how people don’t learn this

I just took my job interview at google 2 weeks ago from the fucking gym because they told me the wrong timezone. Got the job anyway. :marseyprisma:

It’s so sad. I almost want to pay off their student debt so they can live a life of mediocrity marginally more satisfied, but then I realized most advocates of student debt relief are insufferable cunts allergic to self-improvement elsewise

Laboratory work is super hard to land, which is why I just married rich.

really? I see plenty of jobs for those blood, piss and shit testers.

which reminds me of a funny story that happened when I was in high school. I had to give a morning piss sample and they gave me a cup. but they didn't give me the plastic bag and I didn't know it needed one. I also didn't know that you weren't supposed to fill the cup. But oh boy I filled that motherfucker and I put the cup in a paper bag and I was driving there to drop it off.

I was really careful while driving to make sure the piss cup didn't tip. I got there and parked the car and I start walking towards the building and I trip and drop the bag.

Turns out the the lid is not spill proof (stupid design for a piss cup) so I handed in a paper bag soaked in piss.

I think they mean lab work like a national research lab, like Lawrence Livermore or Los Alamos, and those jobs actually are super hard to get.

Los Alamos is easy to get into for computer scientists. They're the ones paying for my body pillow purchases. God bless the DoE for making me glow. :marseyboomer:

But they said "laboratory testing" so it's probably a :marseysick: physical science :marseysick:

computer scientists

No shit it would be easy to get into, most CS majors go into the private sector and rake in the cash.

The government pays out the ass for security specialists. I'm just a grad student, but everyone in my lab makes twice as much as the grad students from other labs because we have a bigass budget that we have to spend :marseysmug2:

National labs aren't bad, I grew up around one and almost everyone from my high school grew up and worked there who stuck around and did engineering.

The problem is if you're doing chem/bio/genetics/etc. and trying to work there, because it's pretty much the only viable place you CAN work in those fields

The older o get the more understanding I get towards that point of view.

Hope you like a mouth full of grandpa balls those positions are also filling up fast

:marseyagree: :marseynut: :marseyfans:

Grandma balls bigot. Its 2021.

Is rich your husband's name?

No, it's Jason.

No they aren't. Just get a PhD, it's literally free.

One time someone told me that they felt they were more educated than me because the university they went to had more “prestige” than mine, while meanwhile I use my degree and make 3 times what they do. Good job, you have a piece of paper that makes you feel good, get off your high horse.

If I had to guess, this person got their 2 bachelor’s degrees and MBA’s in succession, had no internships in college, so now they are a 32-34 year old with no actual experience.

If someone works in a field unrelated to their degree, immediately realize that their job can be done by any retard.

:marseygigaretard:

Sometimes yes, but I have seen some cases where the company is super out of date( or is the government) and requires Bachelor's for every position, when it really isn't necessary at all, so you get someone with a Pre-Med degree in an Administrative Assistant position because nursing didn't work out.

"administrative assistant"

:marseygigaretard:

It's not that it's necessary or not, it's that there's so many excess degrees they can afford to be that picky.

A McDonalds could put that they want a masters degree just to filter out r-slurs and yeah it's "unnecessary" but they'd still get a dozen applicants to pick from.

Wrong.

Degree doesn’t mean anything and the two years I spent in college before dropping out were the only years of my life that I wasted.

The opposite is true: if the only qualification to do your job is a piece of paper, any drooling retard who got handheld through a state college (aka daycare) with a 2.01 gpa can take it from you.

Connections and skills are what matters, in that order. That’s the beginning and the end.

:marseycopeseethedilate:

I got an art degree and now work as a senior economist for the govt. the punchline writes itself

Why the hell would you pay for an MBA if you're trying to find lab work?

It's almost like we were all sold a bill of goods by academia and should be directing our anger at the institutions that sold us $100k worthless degrees...

maybe degrees should not cost 100k

They don't, just like normal phones don't cost 1200$. You just willingly chose the one that did.

should be directing our anger at the institutions that sold us $100k worthless degrees...

Always blaming everyone but themselves for their shitty choices lol

Have I made poor life decisions?

No, It's the universities who are wrong.

It's the way of the Redditor.

If you have experience in real world science settings, getting an MBA can help you get on the business side of the company, which is where the money is.

I was under the impression most people didn't do that out of pocket or at least when they already had insurmountable debt. When my job needed a graduate degree they subsidized night classes over a few years.

If you take out loans for grad school, you're a brainlet. Either get your employer to foot the bill or be smart enough to get a teaching fellowship, skip the dedicated masters, and earn your PhD.

Nah, all managers at most biotech companies have PhDs first and then maybe an MBA. The typical route is staff scientist -> associate scientist -> management. Sometimes you see people who are project managers with just an MBA, but like they are never upper management.

Imagine being so much of a brainlet you don't get the full-ride scholarship for university.

He's an MBA :marseylaugh:

MBA with no experience ngmi

Do you really need experience to make up retarded shit in a cushy cubicle for people doing actual work to try and get around? :marseydoubt:

Unironically, yes. If you go straight from undergrad to an MBA program, companies know you're just a book-wanker.

You have to spend 3-4 years stuck in a dead-end analyst role, then you go waste $70,000 on the MBA and then they'll finally let you through the glass ceiling.

Don't trust anyone who goes directly to MBA, they're just unprincipled looters.

The ones you want are the starry eyed optimists who burn out when they hit the real world and hear the call of the grift in their very soul.

i feel personally attacked rn

Sounds like a you problem

I was thinking of getting an MBA about ten years ago after ten years plus in the corporate workforce as a programmer because I could tell that it was the only way a programmer could move into management and coding really fucking sucks after you do it long enough. I never actually followed through with it though and I doubt I ever will now.

I went into school for bookkeeping, ended up doing managerial accounting.

Every year across all of my internet browsing I see three or four sentences that hit me like a drunk poet driving a truck. This is one of them. :hump:

Only in amerikkka

:marseywut:

little king Bitch Ass

What's the point of getting two bachelors? If you wanna keep studying, isn't grad school a better choice?

These "people" just want to stay in the padded cell of academia forever and never have to go out into the scary, real world.

the real world blows. college has better drugs, parties and sex.

I don't think the terminal academic students are the ones going to parties and railing lines off sluts.

They are. Just not the kind of drugs and sluts you want.

Estrogen pills and fat danger hair art hoes.

Hush, you're making me nostalgic!

I have two, getting the second one was easy as I already had a bunch of classes out of the way. My first was a business major because I fucked around and cared more about partying than school. Then I went back to become a codecel. Got a nice pay raise so it was definitely worth it.

You can do (and I hope this is what happened) double degrees just by working hard in a sort of similar field and get both within 4 years.

that's interesting. I sometimes forget how different burger uni classes are to ours

Yeah a decent amount of programs have 40-50% class overlap. So if you take an extra class every term, transfer some AP stuff from high school, maybe one extra semester, you can usually fit a second one in which can be pretty good for you.

I ended up triple majoring in economics, public policy and theatre since the first two shared a lot of credits.

That’s unusual and not typically allowed, but double-majoring in different fields isn’t uncommon.

Myself and a lot of people I know that were in my undergrad school ended up with two degrees. We didn’t have a lot of upper division classes 3rd year so we just filled it with random classes that somehow led to a second degree

I inadvertently got a second degree in Social Sciences because apparently I picked enough bullshit classes to pad my GPA to earn it.

Van Wilder was a warning, not an instruction manual!

If you weren't getting any interviews for over six months there are major issues with your resume.

It was annoying that I had to scroll all the way down for the answer. I'm guessing since he thinks he has a master's that he'll magically get an executive position and that's what he is going for. I'd be interested in seeing his resume.

You’d be surprised at how awful the resumes are of presumably educated people. People just don’t understand at all how to make a resume. 6 pages of unorganized double spaced rambling about past positions goes straight in the trash. And the thing is I’ve interviewed people with bad resumes in the past and I wouldn’t hire them! I tried to be charitable and I couldn’t. I don’t even need to read it. If your resume looks shitty it goes in the trash.

I always got interviewed but decided to have a professional redo mine and she ripped into it lol. She did a nice job.

I had a manager who threw away any resume that had University of Phoenix on it. lol

Low key I do the same. Unless it’s a position that doesn’t require any schooling at all. Same with Grand Canyon university. Especially after I learned that my crazy schizo neighbor has been working on getting an online PhD in education at GCU for the past ten years.

There's so many of these schools out there now. On one of my private forums, these crazy retarded lady who claims to be a lawyer has Devry on her resume.

I thought GCU was real for awhile since I only saw their commercials during college football games. It’s actually really sad. My neighbor is a legit schizo (believes people are crawling around in her walls and shit) and always super stressed about finishing her phd and how much debt she’s in. No one can do anything though because she’s lucid enough to take care of herself, but it definitely feels like she’s being taken advantage of.

Step 1 to having a passable résumé: use LaTeX

He thinks he's too good to start low and pay his dues, I'm sure.

You’d be surprised actually just how out-of-touch folks are with what employers are looking for in candidates. They think it’s all about coming off as smart as possible, which means their resumes come off as fucking insufferable.

I got hired to a job a bit back that required a PhD in economics (I have 2/3s of a masters and got hired out of grad school), and after I got hired, we made fun of nerds and they showed me the cover letters they were getting. I can’t go too specific and risk outing myself, but the job was created to make a model in a year. You know what I told them? I could make it in a year. You know what Drs such-and-such told them? That a perfect model would take five years. That their dissertation took as long and this would be an even bigger challenge. That they were nervous but were willing to try.

Anyway I finished the model in two months and occasionally get high in my office to rake up the unlimited overtime when I’m not working on my own business during work hours. My employers couldn’t be happier. I’m not a genius or anything but it was clear from the get go the position wasn’t created internally, so they just wanted someone their higher-ups would find passable that they wouldn’t have to babysit.

I don't have enough spoons to read this shit

Resume is doing two undergrad degrees and an MBA back-to-back and "high complexity laboratory testing experience" is being a PCR monkey and the 6 years includes undergrad lab projects.

Isn't there currently like a million more job vacancies then unemployed in burgerstan right now?

How can you have 3 degrees and be THAT low value...

He's also a redditor. Would you hire one?

A Taco Bell near me is offering employment bonuses and starting wages at $15/hr. Everyone upstream of us in the supply chain is complaining about workers just not showing up. These are decent jobs too. Definitely not 6 figures, but certainly better than working retail at $12/hr.

be an unlikeable sperg

Get 3 worthless degrees from a meme-tier private college

No work experience

Show obvious disdain for anything that isn't academic circle jerking

really? this goes against what people post here, that you need phd in astrophysics and 20 year exp just to get interview.

psshhht here's a little secret: About 80% of vacancies won't be made public, but will be distributed internally or through networking. Which is why networking is so important, and why being an anti-social nerd is a big detriment, no matter your degree.

"It's not what you know, it's who you know"

When I was a kid I didn't really buy this, but now that I'm older I know its 100% accurate.

Nepotism is one hell of a drug.

Completely agree. It's really worth making the effort to meet people in college and staying in touch.

Fraternities really do provide the promised ROI on their dues.