ITT: we post words of encouragement for Carp on his big boy magazine interview

WE'VE BEEN HAD BY A MASTER RUSEMAN

It's fiction. We made it up. Complete fabrication. You've been bamboozled, deceived, hoodwinked, cheated, defrauded, duped, and outwitted.

Carp if you don't manage to get atleast one Uncle Ted reference into the interview, you are going to be sent to a reeducation camp led by @idio3

I'm really hoping for the worst possible outcome, but I'm not quite sure what that would be.

Is today the big day? I'd give up all my dramacoin if carp can get "dude, bussy" into Wired.

Please mention that autists on this site have even managed to find love 😍

this has all been a grift by carp there's no interview and magazines aren't a thing and he's probably even made up this "wired" thing

Make us try to seem cool and also try to avoid any discussion that even remotely might bring up your extensive criminal background.

The whole thing will be about ruqqus and we won't even rate a mention.

Carp, you got this. You're good enough, you're smart enough, and God Dang it people like you!

everbody get in here its time to carp post , also goodluck

Hey guys, just got done with my interview with Carp. I'm going to post it here for your review for the sake of transparency:

ZJ: So Carp, what makes the rdrama site so special?

C: It let's me make posts and people get alerted everytime I post since I tricked them into following me. Now they can't unsubscribe.

ZJ: Ok...I don't quite follow but I'll look into that further. How is your relationship with your father?

C: Pretty good I think.

ZJ: How big is your peepee?

C: Absolutely miniscule. I have trouble finding it more often than not.

ZJ: When was the last time you had gay s*x?

C: uh...probably last Friday.

ZJ: When was the last time you had gay s*x with your dad?

C: Last Friday

ZJ: Oh I see, so he was the person you had s*x with on Friday.

C: Yeah he was one of them

ZJ: How tall do you think Landlord Messiah is in real life? Like hypothetically it could be as short as 3" if he's some sort of tragic accident survivor, and then as we get into 4" and 5" we span the Dwarfism-Manlet spectrum.

C: Yeah it's a discussion of intense debate here. He could be as tall as 7" for all we know, but probably not 8" because that would be an extreme statistical outlier.

ZJ: I looked through your post history and I noticed some very problematic content. I think the main issue is that it's not funny. Care to explain yourself on that?

C: No comment...this deposition is over

You got this, man

Look, I’ve got some bad news for you.

Wait there's a WIRED article about this place? Are we gonna get flooded with newstrags now?

@carpathianflorist when this is all over and the dust settles, I just want you to remember: I told you so.

Drop me a mention carp. Tell them about the mentally handicapped segment of the community and mention my handle saying @Unironicdramadebater keeps asking me to get paid but I have never even talked to the guy. ♥️

Carp bump

Mention how I'm the tallest Ricecel at 5'10.

Thanks.

All I have ever wanted was to love women, but their behavior has only earned my hatred. I want to have s*x with them, and make them feel good, but they would be disgusted at the prospect. They have no sexual attraction towards me. It is such an injustice, and I vehemently questioned why things had to be this way. Why do women behave like vicious, stupid, cruel animals who take delight in my suffering and starvation? Why do they have a perverted sexual attraction for the most brutish of men instead of gentlemen of intelligence?

Snapshots:

• reveddit.com
• archive.org
• archive.ph (click to archive)