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EFFORTPOST [First post, be gentle kind sirs] :marseythroatsinging: :marseychonker2: Sumo wrestler fractures the skull of his :zoomersoy: rival for looking at his phone too much :marseysoycrytremble:

pre-preamble


carp has finally worn me down with his r-slurred privating shenanigans - this is my first post :marseywholesome: Give DC plz so I can start gambling like the cool kids!

Preamble


Sumo has always been a god-tier sport for drama llamas, but in recent years it has gotten extra spicy with:

  1. The slow eroding of traditional social norms of "dignified behaviour"

  2. Increased media coverage & social media exposing everything that would normally be hushed up

  3. A spicy ethnonationalist angle as non-Japanese wrestlers have started to excel at the sport, which causes terminal butthurt amongst Japanese fans.

Although there are a few American champions, and a handful of players from all over (including Ōsunaarashi Kintarō, the first African wrestler), the #1 chad foreigners in Sumo are Mongolians, who absolutely destroy the local Japanese 99% of the time and cause gigaseethe throughout the country because not only are they insanely good at sumo wrestling, they also get drunk and fight random people in public and insult other wrestlers wives and such :marseychad:.

In 1992, following the entry of six Mongolians to Ōshima stable, there was an unofficial ban (called enryo or "restraint") instigated by the Japan Sumo Association's head Dewanoumi on any more foreign recruitment.[4] Speaking at a Western Japan Press Club luncheon in Osaka in 1995, Dewanoumi reportedly said, "There are no official regulations, but stable masters have a tacit agreement not to scout foreigners actively because they have difficulty adapting to Japanese customs."[5]

Fun fact to make Japanese people sneed:

By 2013, foreign born wrestlers made up just seven percent of the 613 wrestlers active in professional sumo, yet occupied one third of the 42 spots in the top division.[7] No Japanese-born wrestler won a top division tournament between Tochiazuma in January 2006 and Kotoshōgiku in January 2016, with 56 of the 58 tournaments held in that period won by Mongolians.[8]

DESPITE

The Incident


During a regional tournament circuit, Mongolian gigachad and reigning yokozuna (the highest possible sumo rank) :marseygigachad: Haramufuji :marseygigachad: was drinking with some other Mongolian wrestlers, including junior wrestler :marsoy: Takanoiwa Yoshimori:marsoy:. Apparently our :marseygigachad: hero was trying to explain to the youngster that he should be more polite, when the :marsoy: kept playing with his phone.

:gigachad: did the only reasonable thing in the situation, and beat :marsoy: Takanoiwa :marsoy: so hard that in the days afterwards there were conflicting reports that he had been attacked with:

  1. Haramufuji's bare hands

  2. A beer bottle

  3. An ice pick

  4. An ash tray

Full report (from: https://tachiai.org/2017/12/20/update-on-harumafuji-scandal-ydc-nsk-special-meetings-and-report/ ):

  • Takanoiwa, thinking that Hakuho has finished his lecture, started to play with his phone. Harumafuji saw that, got annoyed, and asked “Why are you playing with your phone when the dai-yokozuna is talking to you?”. This was apparently also in Mongolian. Takanoiwa first denied he was playing with it, then said “I got a LINE message”. Harumafuji asked “Is that important? Who is it from?”. Eventually Takanoiwa said “It’s from my girlfriend”.

  • Harumafuji hit him once, on the face.

  • Takanoiwa said “sorry”, but Harumafuji thought he was giving him a defiant stare. So he hit him on the head and face several times with his bare hands, asking “Why are you behaving like that? I was protecting you earlier! Are you trying to be smart with Yokozuna?“.

  • He picked up a bottle of Champagne and made as if he would beat Takanoiwa with it, but it slipped and fell without harming anybody.

  • Hakuho, watching Harumafuji, said aloud “Don’t use any objects”. As soon as Harumafuji started using the remote control, he stepped in to stop the beating and took Harumafuji outside the room.

  • Apparently it was several minutes from the beginning of the beating and its end, and over 10 but less than 20 slaps/punches delivered.

  • Harumafuji then returned to the room and demanded that Takanoiwa apologize, hitting him once or twice again with his bare hands. Takanoiwa said “I deeply apologize, I’ll be careful from now on”, so Harumafuji stopped.

  • Harumafuji also reprimanded kakuryu: “You are not guiding them properly”. Then he addressed Terunofuji: “You have no spirit when you do keiko. If you want to ask something, just talk to me!”. Terunofuji changed his sitting position to seiza and answered “We can’t say what we think. There is a wall between us”. Harumafuji retorted “You are the ones who created that wall!”, and proceeded to slap Terunofuji (lightly) once or twice. Terunofuji’s reply: “Thank you”.

  • Takanoiwa’s scalp was lacerated and bled. He also suffered an injury to his wrist.

  • When they left the lounge, Takanoiwa asked Ishiura “What did Harumafuji hit me with?”. Ishiura replied “I think with a beer bottle and remote control”. However, Ishiura did not see that with his own eyes.

Sadly for :marseycoin:, in the end it turned out he only used a karaoke remote to fracture the :marsoy:'s skull, which is a lot less hilarious than the ice pick theory (but still pretty funny).

Takanoiwa spends 4 days in hospital with "concussion, left frontal laceration, right external ear inflammation, right middle skull fracture, and cerebral spinal fluid leakage", then leaves hospital to fight another bout (???) and then goes back to hospital again, all while fans and commentators try to piece together what the frick is going on.

Some sources:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harumafuji_K%C5%8Dhei#Assault_and_subsequent_retirement

https://old.reddit.com/r/Sumo/comments/7d3f6c/harumafuji_scandal_timeline_of_events/

https://web.archive.org/web/20200810053326/https://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2017/11/14/national/crime-legal/yokozuna-harumafuji-suspected-assaulting-fellow-wrestler-beer-bottle-report/#.XzDcMXbP2bg

Response to the drama


Sumo fans are pretty chaddish, so a surprising amount of people considered this to be just banter and not worth penalising a well-respected legend like Haramufi over.

See for example:

http://www.sumoforum.net/forums/topic/37309-harumafuji-scandal-thread-part-2/?do=findComment&comment=350799

Demotion? I think not! Since when is that an option for a Yokozuna?

http://www.sumoforum.net/forums/topic/37309-harumafuji-scandal-thread-part-2/?do=findComment&comment=350802

Dismissal? Intai recommendation ? Demotion?GTFO >:-(

Theres a bit more spice in that thread if you go through it, but I am too lazy to dig for it B^)

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friendly reminder that this is my first post so u should give me dramacoin thx

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Hi, nice post :ma#rseywave2:

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Beg harder dog :#marseypoor:

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unironically great post, better than any I've done on my 10 months on this site

but also customise your profile strag

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Post hog

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You a paypig now son.

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It's actually tradition that you make sure everyone who comments on your first post gets 100 dramacoin.

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Nice effort post King. Sent some coins your way

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good post but you did not explain how :marseygigachad: hakuho was so i cannot give you dramacoin

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