[mild drama about fake internet money] """Safemoon"""

Note that this is developing drama, and I have only very limited knowledge about cryptocurrencies due to being mostly partially heterosexual. So if you actually understand this shit please comment.

As you might guess, the cryptocurrency "Safemoon" is a scam. This sort of shit is really common, but this one involves a lot of money so I figured I'd type some words. Now, most cryptocurrencies are basically Ponzi schemes to start, since except for a rare few nobody uses them for anything besides speculating. But Safemoon was able to bring real innovation to the space.

Safemoon is designed such that each transaction has a built-in 10% tax. Out of this 10%:

-5% is distributed proportionally to each Safemoon holder.

-2.5% is destroyed, theoretically driving up the price by limiting supply

-A further 2.5% goes into a LP ("Liquidity Pool") which as I understand basically takes the other side of transactions, enabling a somewhat liquid market for this shitcoin.

So basically this is a Ponzi scheme on crack. Any pretense of it being a real currency is dispelled by the massive built-in tax designed to keep people holding forever. But somehow, people are so fricking r-slurred that they have actually spent millions of real (or less fake) dollars acquiring this token in the belief that it will "moon". Examine the 260 000 subscribers to the official subreddit,

https://old.reddit.com/r/SafeMoon/

Anyways, now to the actual drama. Today on /r/cryptocurrency, this post was made:

https://old.reddit.com/r/CryptoCurrency/comments/pdjxnb/safemoon_has_been_exploited_from_day_1_and/?sort=controversial

linking this document: https://db70102c-bf65-41f3-abcf-4a0026b2dbdd.filesusr.com/ugd/8fd214_665d75779cd440389a8367fe209e307a.pdf

which is an analysis (to be fair, coming from a company that looks a little sketchy itself) showing that a portion of the tokens going to the "Liquidity Pool" were in fact just straight up being embezzled by the devs. Apparently the design of this protocol was not very secure. Now the evidence for this appears to just be simply looking at the blockchain, so I of course wonder why nobody noticed this before now. Probably all the triple digit iqs were just ignoring the project from the start. The amount of money already embezzled out is an insane $68 million USD (!) worth, with a further $47 million USD held still as Safemoon in these unauthorized accounts.

In further drama, the Safemoon devs planned to release the "Safemoon Wallet" app today. I don't know what implications this would have had, given that you can already buy and sell the token, but apparently this was a big deal and a lot of people on reddit were really hyping it up. Perhaps this was going to be the ticket to the mainstream that finally made it "moon". Anyways, the time came and no app was released. In statements, the Safemoon team claims variously that it was prevented by their website being down because of the massive traffic this release was causing, and because of technical issues preventing them from releasing simultaneously on all the app's platforms.

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1684126809041894.webp

Now I don't really think this wallet is any technological innovation, so it may be equally possible that there actually is a wallet and there really were unexpected delays, as it is that these devs couldn't code at any level higher than the webdev needed to sell this shit to redditors (it's https://safemoon.net/, and apparently they advertise an official Minecraft server????? is this really where we are as a society??).

Large numbers of redditors are currently in states of rage/denial/smug superiority on subreddits such as /r/SafeMoon, /r/SatoshiStreetBets (which has been constantly full of shills for this shit), /r/SafeMoonInvesting, and probably others.

I enjoyed reading this post:

https://old.reddit.com/r/SafeMoon/comments/pdgu9t/all_the_diamond_hands_that_havent_complained/?sort=controversial

The price has of course taken a nice drop as whales sold off their coins. But being down only 15% is basically normal for crypto, so we will just have to wait and see if this is actually the end or if people somehow keep believing. Fingers crossed for further drama, ofc.

edit: Some other pdf details more problems with the coin, apparently it didn't even do what it was supposed to do properly lmao: https://notsafemoon.com/new/public/docs/MoonCoinsTA.pdf

66
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Lmfao I can't believe it took them this long to rug. I remember seeing sexy Indian dudes shill this shit on /biz/, and audibly laughed when I read the tokenomics. It's definitely a midwit/ redditor honeypot.

Surprisingly this is one of the more legit shitcoins, there's a really good thread on /biz/ where someone lost their life savings in a project called bingus token (and probably killed themselves).

edit: it's also important to note that the devs didn't actually get away with 70 million worth of safemoon. The volume is low enough on this coin that they would have to sell off what they stole intermittently, and if they're constantly selling off tokens that will lower the price over time. there's no way to tell how much they got away with yet but it will be much less than 70 million.

edit2: I found the bingus token thread

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16841312747049465.webp

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Crypto strags have always been r-slurred, but GME really got every r-slur into 'investing' (aka buying some shit and never selling it). Its pretty funny to see zoomers and millenials put their live savings into something that is obviously worthless and then seethe when it drops to zero.

The only cryptards I respect are the ones that get in ahead of the hype and actually profit of it, or those that get in on the hype but at least know that they have to sell at some point, not 'HODL ALL THE WAY IT WILL GO TO 1 MILLION EVENTUALLY' morons.

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I just use that shit to buy drugs and anabolic steroids like any reasonable person

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Thats valid, I thought about buying something with crypto too, but I'm too afraid of glowies.

@Feds please dont arrest me for this comment.

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There has been a LOT of progress on crypto since bitcoin. look into Monero and Zcash.

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Did your testicles shrink from steroid use?

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What testicles?

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They do temporarily while you're on cycle, but if you use proper meds post cycle they come back. Don't notice a size difference at the moment

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exactly. as with all investments, if you go in without a solid plan you will absolutely get burned. especially in crypto, it's very common for it to lose 90% of it's value in an extended bear market, even the "safe" big mcap coins like Bitcoin and Ethereum.

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nah, i'd say most cryptostrags ARE r-slurred. Some of the popular shitcoins had millions in LP during the top. It's mostly people actually thinking they are going to make it out of a shitcoin as if you were an OG BTC or ETH wale that mined and/or held since the very beginning, and then you have people who STILL think they can time the shitcoin market without having insider info. BOG actually allowed /biz/ normies to make some money with limits and snipping, but not sure how well it works now, or if it even works after the contract was exploited a few months ago.

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There’s a disturbing preponderance of nocoiners in the orbit of Drama. If you didn’t cash out 8 figures from crypto you’re certifiably r-slurred.

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The key is having bought Cardano during the last six months.

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someone lost their life savings in a project called bingus token

I cannot fathom a more embarrassing financial death than one to something called "bingus token"

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Why the frick would anyone use a cryptocurrency with a 10% transaction tax?

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literally because they believe that if they just buy and HODL then the price will be driven up by everyone else getting in behind them and they'll become billionaires. There is no concept of actually using these types of cryptos, because they are useless.

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How did the developers get all that money then? Or does the tax apply to speculation too?

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yeah, the tax applies to all the transactions, including those

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I have no idea why redditors think education in economics or budgeting would help anything. These idiots can't even figure out that money isn't magic.

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Based effortposter

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Aspie on:

It's not a Ponzi, it's a pyramid scheme. A Ponzi scheme involves the conman paying off earlier investors with the money taken from later investors - I tell you "give me $100 today for my business and I'll give you $200 next week", then I say the same to 2000 other people. A pyramid scheme is a system wherein little to no actual value or economic activity is generated, but the early adopters are paid by the later adopters. Crypto is the veritable definition of a pyramid, not Ponzi scheme: a worthless token that, through artificial scarcity, appears to balloon in value, despite not having any utility, and as long as the hype and the base of the pyramid grows, those already in the pyramid make money. But as soon as the bottom falls out, say, because there are no more investors, it collapses in an instant.

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a worthless token

Ummm excuse you? Have you never heard of the blockchain? Or smart contracts? Or the other 20 buzzwords some other guy on reddit told me about? This tech will literally 👏revolutionize👏the👏world.

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And the price will go to the MOOOON!! 🚀🚀🚀🚀🚀

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idk, it seemed more ponzi-like to me. I thought pyramid schemes were supposed to actually sell a product like essential oils or whatever. Plus, the investors here aren't directly required to invite new investors below them like they are in a pyramid scheme, instead they just passively benefit from new investors driving the price up.

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That's an MLM you illiterate swine

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Would a ponzi be a hypothetically good investment as long as you aren't the last batch of suckers

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As long as you get out at the right time, sure. It's still fraud, but otherwise, yeah.

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There are open source Ponzis that label themselves as such. Those aren’t fraud.

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the cryptocurrency "Safemoon" is a scam.

All cryprocurrency is a scam.

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xmr is good because it lets you buy heroin

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Literally the only useful thing a about crypto

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Don't forget enabling Null's crippling pizza addiction.

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obvious bots on crypto subreddits:

"new coin, supermoonx1000gainsguranteed MOONING! Get in NOW or miss out on your chance to become a gazillionaire!"

crytostrags:

"Looks legit, I'll place my life savings into this"

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fwiw if your life savings is four digits you might as well gamble it away because your life probably isn't getting better anytime soon.

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what did i do aside from choose to be poor that you're attacking me like this?

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Starfruit

what the frick is a starfruit in the context of minecraft

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uhh, good question. maybe it's like a minigame? or just the name of one of the servers? idk

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i still can't believe it was a scam, the thousands of giveaways on twitter from day one looked so legit

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Also if you buy something thats called 'SafeMoon' you deserve to have all your money taken from you. GME really was a disaster for zoomer saving accounts...

I bet they would also buy a crypto called 'GetRichQuick'

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<seethe>

I’m a veteran cryptocel and I fricking hate these people too. The space has gotten inundated with legions of knuckle dragging morons over the past year and every time a bunch of them get rekt from laughably obvious scams it draws lots of bad press and attracts the attention of regulators. Everyone creating and speculating on these pointless tokens that rely on these r-slurred transaction tax/burn gimmicks should kill themselves in real life.

</seethe>
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Brb starting my own shitcoin called "EzLambo."

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lol my thoughts exactly on the name. They named it in a way that dumb dumbs would think "Oh look this is totally safe and it will moon and I will be a billionaire for real!"


https://i.rdrama.net/images/16947238656178334.webp

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Another day, another crypto scam :marseylaugh: :marseylaugh: :marseylaugh:

When will cryptards learn? (never)

A few weeks back the crypto 'internet computer (ICP)' had a runup and crash, the subreddit for that was hilarious, if I remember correctly they even stickied a suicide hotline (or was that on the general crypto sub when bitcoin (and thus everything else too) crashed? I cant remember). There certainly was a lot of cope, and probably some rope.

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1684129221934413.webp

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Ewww, are you a Eurangutan?

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This already crashed from an ath like 6 months ago lmao

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Good post

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The implication here is bigger: this particular shitcoin went up due to its tokenomics you described cause it was new at the time. But all of this is open source, and there were a LOT (1000s) of shitcoins that basically copy pasted its code, and just gave it a new name and numbers for these variables. So this means that all these other shitcoins have issues (I haven't actually read too much, so could be a non issue though)

There also was some good drama a couple months back at the top of the shitcoin mania. Vitalik (Ethereum founder) donated (sold) his shitcoins given to him for free by their devs. Bagholders were seething, and now they are hoping it will go back up in the coming months. There's always some great drama in crypto, rugpulls and scams are really funny Sometimes you can watch a rug in real time if you catch it on /biz/.

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I am off to create a scam called guaranteedmoneycoin and then become a millionaire

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no one has mentioned why the app was supposed to be a big deal: I think they were planning to do an easy on-ramp to buy the token. right now it isn't super complicated or anything but I think the rationale is that most people don't want to create a metamask wallet, look for token addresses, etc.

note that I'm not taking sides here, I bought and sold this shit as soon as I was 10x.

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I'm not providing you with studies because it's a stupid question. That's like saying "prove to me white women frick dogs." It doesn't need a study or evidence to be proven.


Snapshots:

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Poorcel nocoiners disgust me.

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