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I :chad: Hired :chad: 5 :chad: People :chad: to :chad: Sit :chad: Behind :chad: Me :chad: and :chad: Make :chad:Me :chad:Productive :chad: for :chad: a :chad: Month :chad:

https://simonberens.me/blog/i-hired-5-people
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The modern tech idiot mindset - "everything I do every second of the day must seem productive". If you have to be forced to do everything then maybe you need a different set of hobbies and a career change.

When I came back to my apartment, the internet was out so I read two chapters of Immigrants: Your Country Needs Them until the internet came back on, after which I completed a lesson in the UI/UX course I’d enrolled in.

Ffs

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yeah that part jumped at me :marseyxd: LOOK GUYS I'M VERY PROGRESSIVE!!!!!!!!

![](/images/16570063022017534.webp)

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Immigrants: Your Country Needs Them until the internet came

It's funnier if you read this as the full book title

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:#taylaugh:

:marseymexican::marseylaughpoundfist:

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as long as they aren't anywhere near me and someone elses problem

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We need them to sit behind you for 16 hours a day :marseyaward:


https://i.rdrama.net/images/17035381209726467.webp

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Fake news. Woke foids are always the size of a landwhale :marseychonkerfoid:

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In the first 16 hours this guy exercised (yoga), wrote two blog posts, and did "some" work for his job. He could have lifted weights, got double the actual work done, gotten a third of the way through Moby Peepee, and still had time to spare if he wasn't such a cute twink

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:#marseysmug2: sureeeeeeeeeeee

![](/images/16755470006710522.webp)

:coomer:

![](/images/16755471110930216.webp)

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wouldn't β›”πŸ‘ŽπŸ‘ŽπŸ™…β€β™‚οΈπŸ™…β€β™‚οΈπŸ™… it be πŸ™‚ fun 😽 if, when ⏰ I 😣 misbehaved, you πŸ‘±β€β™€οΈ would, πŸ‘ͺ like, 🩸 punish me, 😭 like, πŸ’– by 😈 pegging, my, 😨 butt, 😿😿 forcing πŸ”° me πŸ™‹πŸ½ to sit 🦧 on πŸ’« a big πŸ’ͺ black πŸ–€ peepee, πŸ”₯ until 🍏 i πŸ»πŸ‘ became ❓ product πŸ‘ŸπŸ‘Ÿ again? ❌😬 and you πŸ‘ˆ would, 🌳 milk, πŸ₯› my, 🧚 prostate? till, i πŸ™€ said 😁 "sorry" 😲 and you πŸ‘ˆπŸΌ know πŸ€”

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lol that would be so funny haha

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"70% of the applicants were women".

No shit. He put it into the job description that the assistant would also have to cook and clean (and probably pick out his clothes for the next day just like Mommy used to do for him when he was going to school), so no wonder it was all women. Men won't bother with that shit because that's not a "productivity assistant", that's a housekeeper. Women, by contrast, are used to applying for jobs as nannies and childminders.

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Personally, I even went as far as making my own tools, but they yielded at most 20% more productive time.

If you're already working as much as the average person who cares about being productive then a 20% boost sounds great

nd if I was going to do that I was going to do it right: they’d be there 16 hours a day and only leave for me to sleep.

Who the frick wants to work for 16 hours a day? Mind you this guy probably has a pretty loose definition of the word work, but even top lawyers and investment bankers and shit don't work that much

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I made a tool that increased my productivity by a lot, too.

I'm using this extra time to play vidya games and browse an autism support group

I'd take a proper screenshot but NO TIME

![](/images/16756137021531858.webp)

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16 hours is actually a fairly common amount of time for investment bankers. But only analysts and partners, everything in between is less. And it’s very low intensity work like filling out excel sheets.

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>Coming back, she slammed her laptop shut. Laughing, I asked what she was doing that she needed to close it so frantically. She retorted coldly that she was watching porn. I instantly replied β€œmakes sense” as if it were a reflex, and sat down at my desk.

"she"

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God coomers suck at writing. Let me guess, next she was all like oh I'm a poor virgin who's never do the secks, can you s*x me you big strong highly productive man

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This guy wants a mommy to cook his dinner and make sure he's being a good boy and doing his chores instead of slacking off. No wonder the assistants all suddenly got car trouble or came down with illness so they couldn't go back to work for him.

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Zoomer women won't even be a mommy for $20/hr, the kids are doomed

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:#marseyretardchad:

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this stuff is just the opposite of antiwork gayness

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It's actually the same method that /r/antiwork jannies use to do it for free 24/7.

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It's like a time machine to 2009 silicon valley

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Or you can just save the money and develop some sense of self control?

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There are lots of comments there that are applauding the OP for his experiment and not seeing any issue with it whatsoever.

travisjungroth 5 hours ago | parent | prev | next [–]

I doubt this 0%. I’ve hired people just to help me focus and also to help with chores. To me, this is someone with the same job in the same city as me just taking what I’ve done two steps further. Literally nothing in that post is unbelievable to me, including the behavior of the people he hired.

and

Mustache 5 hours ago | prev | next [–]

I'm not sure why there so many negative comments. I work from home for myself and I can say not having a boss to report to makes it easier to get bogged down in non productive tasks. When I used to go to an office and had a manager there was always that external pressure to get things done. I have to constantly remind myself to be productive and not spend time on time wasting websites so I can see how just knowing someone is watching would make you more productive. I remember a few years ago there was a website where you could be on a webcam with someone else while you both worked, sort of a productivity buddy type thing. Kudo's to the author for trying something new and sharing it with everyone. I think that's brave especially with all the keyboard critics in the world.

Plenty more r-slurs in that thread talking about how useful it is.

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Mashallah, a few more russian chimpouts and we will finally get the mandate by pussified westerners to put the remaining muskovites up against the wall while they look the other way.

Snapshots:

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the frick is that lmao

I would rather someone (asian parents) to lock me in a cage with huge textbooks and tase me and flash bright lights into my eyes 25/8 so i lose sense of time

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