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MarseyIsMyWaifu he/they MarseyIsMyWaifu  10mo ago (reddit.com) 1458 thread views #175505
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  • whyareyou : That's no thow this works. That's not how any of this works.

I’m a straight man who married a dude. AMA! : askgaybros

https://old.reddit.com/r/askgaybros/comments/13xc8gy/im_a_straight_man_who_married_a_dude_ama?sort=controversial

I’m a straight man who married a dude. AMA!

I married him, because I joined the Air Force, and if you’re married, you get housing pay and permission to live off base. He gets free healthcare.

He’s my best friend who’s forever single and has mad health issues, including recurring prostate cancer.

Edit: Per the suggestion of u/oceanicolas, I’m giving out a massive thanks to the huge amount of gay activists and lawyers who’ve fought for marriage equality for decades, as well as the feminist lawyers in the 70s who sought to use the Equal Rights Amendment to legalize gay marriage.

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New Old Top Bottom Controversial Random
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:#marseykingkrazy: >I was going to not answer this for a second, but frick it. We’ve experimented together, but aside from him blowing me a few times, nothing much really has happened.

:#marseykingkrazy:

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>a few times

:marseyflushzoomzoom:

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He said "no homo" after so it's fine

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So long as the balls didn't touch

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How would that happen when he is sucking your peepee? Are blowjobs by definition no homo?

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Its only gay if you bottom or suck

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Not gay if he wears lipstick

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Just practicing for girls haha right bros?

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Women can date a thousand men and still call themselves gay, but I suck peepee ONE TIME

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Lmao this is what happens when you're gay and you've got homophobic parents.

Uhhh no dad it's just a paper marriage for healthcare reasons. Yes it means I can never date or frick women so of course we suck and frick each other to release that sexual tension but we're 100% straight!

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Aight these neighbors is gay

@KinoHashira stand with Israel

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Straightest airman

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Only gay to get fricked, not to frick.

:!marseybarrel: :marseybarreldrunk:

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:#marseykingkrazy: im still the better king:#marseykingkrazy:

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/16858374644687018.webp

:!marseybarrel: :marseybarreldrunk:

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How’s the s*x between you?

I was going to not answer this for a second, but frick it. We’ve experimented together, but aside from him blowing me a few times, nothing much really has happened.

Most heterosexual US military serviceman.

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>I'm a straight man

>aside from him blowing me a few times

:#marseyaware:

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We joked about stuff like this when gay-marriages were allowed here in Germany. "Lets just marry each other and get benefits!".

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Classic German humor

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>German humor

:#marseymissing2:

@UraniumDonGER @AverageTotally

:#capysneedboat2::#capyantischizo::#space:

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Gay Merriage is no laughing mattress, bigot :marseybear:

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@grizzly

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Yes.

You know mafia/werewolf the social deduction game? We play it with Nazis & Jews.

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Secret Hitler is similar and is a blast

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Robbing the fed of healthcare money :marseykneel:

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Is this fraud? Ive always kinda wondered about it since that adam sandler movie i havent seen

From my heart in ink still bleeding: have this comment. Thanks for reading.

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People have been getting married for financial benefits for thousands of years. No biggie.

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Very true, i guess i was thinking more along the lines of if you could theoretically prove he specifically did this to get more money from the govt. Then again he says he got a couple of brojobs so i guess its pretty legit

From my heart in ink still bleeding: have this comment. Thanks for reading.

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Only immigration cares about marriage for green card abuse, everything else is fair game

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>government investigator tries to prove fraud

>Relationships meets the "pretty gay" criteria so it's ruled legitimate

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Yeah if anything financial benefits were the main reason for marriage for most of human history

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It is. But its really hard to get caught. Only way it can happen if you admit it. Like op

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Thats what made me ask, isnt he literally admitting to it? Its probably fake and straight tho, and not even gay enough for my interests either

From my heart in ink still bleeding: have this comment. Thanks for reading.

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Yes. Its idiotic as frick. Espesily with chronic conditions his boy has. Someone could put two and two toghetor and frick them up.

If he had just said. We got married so i could live off barracks and he could get my insurance. Nobody would figure out who he is.

There is un fun netflix movie about hot foid who needs insulin and butthole marine who need more money. They get married for benefits. But becouse that movie was made with help of USMC. It ends with dude going in prison. It came out two or three years ago.

Edit: Purple Hearts at netflix

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Seems like a gigareportmaxxxing opportunity :marseytroublemaker:

From my heart in ink still bleeding: have this comment. Thanks for reading.

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https://www.afinspectorgeneral.af.mil/Who-We-Are/FAQs/

It says fraud in there. Pick a email and go to report.

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Reported by:

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16857658311694312.webp

From my heart in ink still bleeding: have this comment. Thanks for reading.

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:#marseyreportmaxxer2:

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KING

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1707881499271494.webp https://i.rdrama.net/images/17101210991135056.webp

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Nobody DM the OP or he might delete the post

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:marseykneel:

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Lmao this is why I stan you

:marseyxd:

This morning, Cum went to the park. I went with Coom. And Cum brought Coomer frisbee. At least I think it was Coomers. By the end of the day, Cum started throwing the frisbee to Cumself.

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Since when is the married and committed brojob not considered true love?

Don't forget to turn off signatures in settings!

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king shit 👑

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This is evil. You are being evil.

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defraudation

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It's a word

From my heart in ink still bleeding: have this comment. Thanks for reading.

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as long as there's no infidelity it's fine

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If this is fraud, what makes an actual marriage legitimate? Intent, that's it?

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Fact that you dont think it as fraud. And i doubt military would go after fraudulent mariage if couple had 3 kids and had been toghetor for 10 years. Even if they admited it was fraud mariage.

Keep in mind. Lot of these military laws are there so you can kick person from military easily and stop from worst kinda frickery from happening. They do not make sense unless there is very spesific case happening.

Someone could sell themselves for mariage so other one would get insured.

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Chuck and larry is the movie https://i.rdrama.net/images/16857572472638402.webp

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Thats it, i used to jack off to jessica biel gifs from it in high school

https://media.giphy.com/media/dIUOJRuUOb9p6/giphy.webp

From my heart in ink still bleeding: have this comment. Thanks for reading.

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:marseytwerking:

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/1685782000541454.webp

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:#marseyyikes:

@August we got a live one here!

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Thanks king, 100 DC has been deposited into your account

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Darn nice butt

>dimples

:#marseyturnedon: :#marseynut:

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Keep yourself safe

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God I'm so horny

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Technically yes, and some people have gotten charged for it. Usually it’s some additional stuff that gets them indicted, though.

https://taskandpurpose.com/culture/military-sham-marriage-netflix-purple-hearts/

Adultery is also a crime in the military.

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Adultery is still crime. Becouse when eventually one of officers or troops get caught in nasty affairs. Military can just wash their hands of and kick them out.

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Why would it be fraud? They're literally married. Where the frick does the law say "you need to be in love with the person you married." r-slur.

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Ok but can you not call me names?

From my heart in ink still bleeding: have this comment. Thanks for reading.

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Given the edit, it's massively fake and straight, especially because it's reddit.

:marseysalutearmy:

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The marriage :marseybride: was consummated with a blowie

:!marseybarrel: :marseybarreldrunk:

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:#marseyclapping:

more straights should pay reparations in this manner

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1. Enlist

2. Find r-slurred hetero himbo

3. Propose to get married for the benefits

4. Tell himbo that the government will void the marriage unless he fricks you :marseytroublemaker:

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R*pe is never OK. You're a disgusting pig, but I guess when you're lacking children you think of plans to r*pe honest men instead.

You disgust me and should summarily hang yourself as soon as possible after giving me your DC

Give me your money and I'll annoy people with it :space: https://i.rdrama.net/images/16965516366194396.webp

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You gotta film it for proof too, and upload it to the internet...

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Based strag

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It's not easy being a straight gay dude but someone's gotta do it

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Thats fraud. Why would you admit it. With those health issues and air force husband. Someone could track them down.

Recruitment is truly down if that is best man they can get

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:#marseypepe3:

Snapshots:

I’m a straight man who married a dude. AMA!:

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Credit to @whyareyou for reminding me of this.

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I support this union

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Isn't this like that Adam Sandler movie? Did they make him kiss a fat guy?

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based

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Someone tell him that saying no homo doesn't actually make it not gay

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