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"i refuse to date anyone not in therapy, or who isn't being honest with their therapist anymore." :marseycope: Healing Male Depression (Terry Real): "there is a war going on within masculinity". - /r/MensLib :marseyblops2cel: :malefeminist:

https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/142v6bo/healing_male_depression_terry_real_there_is_a_war?sort=controversial

/u/Warbaddy

I think that, for a lot of women, the repulsion to being exposed to ugly male feelings might be some sort of trauma response because when those ugly feelings cause men to lash out, it's often the women around them that suffer the consequences.

Apart from that, honestly? I think it's natural to have feelings (initially) that run a spectrum between aversion and repulsion. It can be frightening to see someone in the throes of grief, depression, anxiety, etc. I think for a lot of people in general there's a natural impulse to withdraw from that.

That being said, I don't think you should be looking to your spouse/significant other to help you untangle your "deepest darkest secrets" (depending on what that even means in this context) unless that conversation is being paired with therapy. The average person is neither prepared nor able to help you, and this goes both ways; any woman who is willing to unload their baggage on me but is unwilling to see a therapist isn't someone I'd be interested in seeing on any serious level.

While you and other people might be willing to act as your girlfriend/wife's therapist, you should not expect them to be willing to do the same.

https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/142v6bo/healing_male_depression_terry_real_there_is_a_war/jn88eey/?sort=controversial


/u/sa5m_i_am

this.

i just got out of a situation with a non-binary person who was literally telling me things they weren't telling their therapist.

at first it seemed fine but then problem after problem piled up and it was like ... dude i'm not equipped to handle this in the way you need. and then they would get weird when i couldn't do that, but also withdraw as if it were my fault i couldn't do the job of a therapist while also dealing with someone who is just being shitty to date because they aren't being honest with their therapist about their issues

i refuse to date anyone not in therapy, or who isn't being honest with their therapist anymore.

it's just not worth my time

i'll listen to your problems if i know you're getting professional help, but it's selfish AF to put the burden of suicidal thoughts on someone you're dating if you aren't seeking professional help for those thoughts. and it's even more selfish to blame that person for not being able to handle your problems.

https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/142v6bo/healing_male_depression_terry_real_there_is_a_war/jnavp9b/?sort=controversial


/u/Medium_Sense4354

I’m an neurodivergent woman but I always relate to so many of these male issues. I used to hold a similar view but with friends. They would eventually be like “please I’m not your therapist” and in my mind I was like WOW I can’t even talk about my feelings with my friends. After a few therapy sessions I was super embarrassed that I was literally just dumping the heaviest things on them. I didn’t really get it until I had it done to me in a relationship. God he needed therapy so bad. He would tell me the most horrific things about his childhood after blowing up at me and then he’d cry and I was supposed to console him. The first 10 times I felt so sorry for him but eventually it got to a point where I was like why am i consoling this man who has just said the meanest things and punched a wall? Why am I consoling someone who blames their anger/rudeness/silent treatment on their childhood but then refuses to do anything to mitigate it (THERAPY)? The other thing is that I had no idea how to help. I listened but I was scared of saying the wrong thing and making the situation worse.

https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/142v6bo/healing_male_depression_terry_real_there_is_a_war/jnbf4c0/?sort=controversial

:#marseylongpost:

90
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I'll be real. Therapy seems like foid nonsense. I'm messing with it right now and it's just constant affirmation and bullshit.

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constant affirmation and bullshit.

and that’s the exact reason why therapy enjoyers are always crazy and can’t take accountability. nothing is ever their fault

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They can’t even be accountable to have a serious conversation with their bf, they outsource it to a therapist (code for a sociology fruitcake with a meaningless degree)

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yea and when they talk to a therapist they’re never honest about all the details so they get some irrelevant dogshit advice and told they’re the victim every time

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Sadly yes

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I'll be real. Therapy seems like foid nonsense.

:#marseyagreefast:

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I think it is a replacement for the sacrament of confession in a secular society.

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It goes further than that. Saying "we're making progress here sweetie" :marseyfoidretard: is done to build emotional dependence. It's a tactic cults use. Then they give out the :marseymeds: and people actually start losing it but their therapist/cult leader is telling them that getting high as balls every single day for the rest of their life is "finally getting serious about your mental health" and that they need to cut out their family members that don't see the benefits of therapyology.



The only people involved in therapy with any understanding of people are the ones who profited by making it as manipulative as possible :marseymerchant:.

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Pray on it sweaty

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Some people actually care about their patients but more often than not they're grifters who will try to maximise their billable hours at the expense of the patient.

I got sent to therapy for having slow handwriting back in school because a doctor looked at me write once and saw me going back to fix an unreadable letter and decided the problem is psychological in nature. Waste of fricking time and money especially in a world that was obviously moving away from handwriting and towards typing.

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the problem is psychological in nature

and you ended up here so was the doctor actually wrong

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Yes, because the doctor was ignoring the real issues while focusing on made up ones.

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How much do you pay for it?

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:#marseyglow2:

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The only acceptable answer is "Too much".

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It is. Its basically pseudo sciences that has slim backing in reality. Any good it dose. Can be achived by talking to priest. For free

Take the jesus pill. :marseyandjesus:

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I did therapy for like 6 months. It was useful for some stuff but once I noticed that the useful stuff dried out and all that remained was me complaining and nothing productive coming out of it I dipped out

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Then you are seeing a shit therapist and you should find another. You should not get constant affirmations in therapy.

In general you most likely have some emotional and cognitive patterns which are harmful to you and/or others. The goal is to break those patterns and establish "normal/healthy" ones instead. This may not always be possible, so another goal might be to give you healthy coping skills when encountering problems - so you don't use unhealthy ones.

But those are things your therapist should tell you. As well as what kind of therapy they use (dbt, cbt, schema, ...) and how it works. So it seems less "bullshit"

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Shut your whore mouth

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It's definitely a woman thing because a regular man wouldn't sit around thinking about "masculinity". Only the weak willed are afraid

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lmao couldn't be me

https://i.rdrama.net/images/168618562241716.webp

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(I'm 6'8, approx 350lbs; there aren't many people that would think to try and hit me, yet I do it anyway)

Always one in there acting like they are so scary looking. I am just surprised he didn't mention his viking beard as well showing how manly he looks on the outside

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Bold of you to assume he’s not lying.

showing how manly he looks on the outside

Reminds me of Nick Offerman

https://i.rdrama.net/images/16861901000239787.webp

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Nick Offerman seems like a nice guy but he popularized this genre of 'masculine man' as a sitcom charachter that's just bizarre. It's unfair to blame him though, it's mostly because millenials are physically unable to tell sitcoms apart from reality.

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Yeah, is more like he bacame the poster boy for “look at this bearded and manly guy, and he supports feminism and trans rights :soyjackwow:

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I don't doubt he is telling the truth about the 350 lb part but I do question the height.

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Lmao, that’s probably accurate, but the funny thing is super fit NBA players with that height weight around 230-250 lbs, so he admitted he’s a :marseychonker2:

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65'8, 350lbs

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350lb probably still looks fricking fat at 6’8”.

Remember, that's a menslibba.

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NBA players with that height are on the 230-250 lbs range, and those guys are fit as frick, even at 6’8” (doubtful) he’s still a :marseychonker2:

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I’d beat his b-word butt. He don’t look so tough to me.

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https://old.reddit.com/r/MensLib/comments/142v6bo/healing_male_depression_terry_real_there_is_a_war/jnabpea/?sort=controversial

It's completely self-evident to me that both men and women suffer from patriarchal norms. Also, women suffer more. But, this isn't a score keeping exercise! While both men and women are subject to repression, I suspect that there are gendered nuances that are important to talk about.

Hopefully, folks are listening to the podcast in that they might learn something or consider something new. It covers a lot of these topics, including how women and men can repress their spouses emotions. My post was about the podcast, and Terry Real generally, not my own experience, so much. But, it did delve into my experience. That's OK.

Least cucked menslibber

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yeah we both have problems but I'm admitting yours are bigger! You're the bigger victim here, but can we address one of the problems I have? It's definitely smaller than yours tho don't worry, you still win

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These are the people who tell you that religion is outdated

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They just replaced American Protestantism with this rainbow capitalism political religion.

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Take the rainbow part off and you are left with regular american evangelicuckism.

The Protestant Refomation and it’s consequences :#marseyluthersoy:

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When man stops beliving in god. He start to belive in everything.

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I feel bad for guys having to date with r-slurs like this out there. I’m glad my wife understands my mental insanity is actually deep esoteric knowledge vibrating through my body and spirit

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>I’m glad my wife understands my mental insanity is actually deep esoteric knowledge vibrating through my body and spirit

https://i.rdrama.net/images/1669075639919054.webp

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https://i.rdrama.net/images/16861873990019188.webp

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:marseyaaatremble::marseyaaa::marseyaaafalling::marseyaaajumpscare::marseyscream::marseyghostface:

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I want to have s*x with women. I don’t like them.

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Me entering a menslib link :marseyfsjal:

Me leaving a menslib link :marseycryinglaptop:

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Redditors are going to start saying you shouldn't expect your girlfriend or spouse to have s*x with you either, instead you should hire a s*x worker for that.

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Redditors are going to start saying you shouldn't expect your girlfriend or spouse to have s*x with you either, instead you should hire a s*x worker for that.

Havent they already been saying this for a while? :marseyitsallsotiresome:

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Probably, I just couldn't link to any examples off the top of my head so I hedged by saying it's coming. I think it's kind of implied by how much they promote polyamory. I've seen a sentiment that goes something like "You shouldn't put all your sexual needs on one person or expect them to do that with you. Polyamory is best so you can always have your needs met by someone in the polycule. and so can everyone else."

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"You shouldn't put all your sexual needs on one person or expect them to do that with you. Polyamory is best so you can always have you needs met by someone in the polycule. and so can everyone else."

This was one of the arguments that Mormons used for defending polygamy :marseyxd:

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They all claim to hate Mormons but don't see how they're just like them. The message I seem to be getting from redditors is you shouldn't expect anything at all from anyone, certainly not someone you're going to share your living space with, finances, and have s*x (and potentially children) with. Part of their mantra "no one owes anybody anything". Despite all their supposedly anti-neoliberal anti-right winger rhetoric it's hard for me to think of a more right wing (and self absorbed) view of human relationships.

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They despise 'rugged individualism' because it's racist or something but absolutely revolt at the prospect of people having responsibilities to those immediately around. You only have responsibilities like paying indulgences to children in Africa or climate change, expecting people to help those in close proximity is oppression.

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Jfc with these “men” . They won’t every even rise to the level of scrote

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Often my partners rail at the patriarchy and want me to dismantle it, but ultimately seem to subconciously want me to play into traditional gender roles of the "strong, silent type".

Women have no fricking clue what they want, more at 11.

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That being said, I don't think you should be looking to your spouse/significant other to help you untangle your "deepest darkest secrets" (depending on what that even means in this context) unless that conversation is being paired with therapy.

Yeah I wonder why these people dont have a love life going (or any friends)

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Even love has been deprived of anything meaningful, just outsourcing every meaningful human interaction to a paid professional then wondering why the world turned cold.

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Lol there aren’t any men in therepy

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I used to go to a few male therapists when I was a kid (:marseyautism:) and they were all pretty straggy :marseyhomofascist:

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Gross I don’t want to be on the same website as brainwashed lunatics

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Neighbor you have been on a website solely used by lunatic r-slurs for almost 2 years now :marseyitsallsotiresome:

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Wrong. Therapy has been proven to be effective for combat veterans.

That's it though. The rest are either r-slurs getting brainwashed (I don't consider r-slurs human for the same reasons children only half count) or are very soon going to become a woman because their therapist can't figure out what else to do.

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Therapy is a job for bored women who used to bully people into killing themselves when they were in highschool. They then spend their career telling women they're fierce and perfect as they are, and telling men that they're scum who should defer to the women in their lives.

If you're ever considering going to therapy, picture the nastiest b-word stacy you've ever met and ask yourself if you'd feel comfortable telling them your problems. If the answer is no, don't go to therapy, because that's who they are

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Yet more driveling by people prescribing how relationships should be. They cannot imagine having a trusting, respectful relationship with whom they can discuss their true selves, and they cannot figure out how to do so without being an emotional vacuum. Liking your partner or confiding in her is pathological now. If she comes to you asking for help or masculine guidance, suddenly she’s codependent.

Liking your partner is not unhealthy. Sharing with her is not unhealthy. Relying on her in a reasonable emotional way is not unhealthy. And telling her that you resent “being her therapist” when she comes to you to talk about how she feels is unmanly and cold.

You can’t just like, have a friend or lover you can talk to. No, you have to pay some insipid fricktard who majored in the easiest thing their demented little brains could find.

Literally these people are so broken that they can’t have a deep, long, and truthful interaction with another.

:marseyshrug:

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I’m not in therapy, ladies :marseytroll:

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