EFFORTPOST [Effort] The Most Honest Journ*list to Ever Live (Pt. 2 Finale)

And we are back for the second half of the Aretine's story! To catch you back up from last time, we went over the early life of Pietro Aretino, his insertion into the Roman Papal court, and his fall from favor after supporting the wrong Papal candidate, his skills as a writer guiding him all through this process. Now we join him in his departure from Rome as the new Pope Adrian VI sets sail from Spain to the Eternal City. We'll see if Aretino can keep up with the changing political atmosphere and if his old allies, the Medici, make a resurgence.

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LYING LOW IN HIGH PLACES

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Pietro first attempted to make for Florence, expecting a place in Giulio's household, but ended up turned away. The Cardinal, and Medicis in general, were left embarrassed and on shaky foundations after the election. They'd lost power in Rome and the plebs of Florence were becoming increasingly uppity, so they just couldn't be seen with a figure with as many enemies as Pietro Aretino. Giulio instead introduced the writer to Federico Gonzaga II, Marquis of Mantua, and had the lord reserve a seat for Pietro at his court.

The Marquis was a young but savvy political maneuverer and enthusiastic appreciator of the arts, as nearly all of his class were of the day (or at least presented themselves as). When Aretino joined his court, he was enraptured by the man, frequently attempting to engage Pietro in lengthy conversation and near-obsessively pouring over any piece of Aretino's writing. He'd become one of Pietro's longest and most loyal political allies and patrons during his life.

Aretino himself recognized the Marquis' usefulness to him, but never quite respected the man as he did his other friends. Throughout their relationship, Aretino would so often ask for favors and support in his endeavors that the Marquis at one time explained that even his resources were running thin trying to accommodate the man. Despite generally looking down on the young Marquis, Aretino stayed in his court for some time, enjoying the same pleasures he did in Rome and mingling with many of the same people, as the Gonzagas were prominent enough to attract much of the Italian elite.

(Portrait of Federico)

Nevertheless, Aretino was unsatisfied with life with the Marquis. It wasn't long before he had the man write to Giulio himself, again requesting a place in Florence. The Cardinal replied that Aretino was a "loud mouthed and unreliable troublemaker", punctuating the insult with a thinly veiled threat, reminding him that his Holiness Pope Adrian VI had ordered the arrest of said loud mouthed troublemaker. Unmoved by the rebuff, Aretino personally set out for Florence with another letter he had the Marquis compose, aiming to confront the Cardinal directly.

Pietro was lucky Cardinal Giulio was the man he was. Nicknamed "the Chameleon" for good reason, he completely changed tone when Aretino stood before him in Florence. Giulio was first and foremost a politician, and one unwilling to dispose of a potentially useful asset. When confronted by the man, the Cardinal was nothing but cordial, saying that while he couldn't defy the Pope's orders and accommodate the writer in Florence, he could place him under the protection of an old friend.

Aretino arrived near Reggio in Emilia (not to be confused with Reggio, Calabria) greeted by an army without a single mark of discipline. At all hours of the day and night, soldiers drank, partied, and fricked. All at the expense of the local peasant population, who they robbed of food and valuables, kidnapping their wives and daughters for their own use. The state of the army was by design, as the man who commanded it was Ludovico de'Medici, 'The Great Devil'.

In Reggio he made like any soldier there would, minus the violence. That was another ironic thing about Pietro's and Ludovico's relationship: Pietro hated violence, while Ludovico relished in it. He often led his men from the fore, engaging in battle just as closely as any of his soldiers. He and Pietro drank, ate, schmoosed with the men and locals, and above all, fricked. Later in life when the writer recalled Reggio in a letter, his reminisces focused almost solely on his and Ludovico's amorous adventures. Aretino held a very passionate affair with the local count's wife, Countess Madrina, while Ludovico was obsessed with a frustratingly chaste woman named Paola.

In fact it's a bit how he wrote of Ludovico then,

Did you ever see a more continent or timid lover than Giovanni [Ludovico, ('Giovanni' is Italian for John, his nickname)]? Did you remember how for three days he ate nothing and thereafter was like some engine in his ferocity? [...] Owing to the grandeur of his soul he was able to quench the fire that was truly burning up his heart in festivals, banquets, and jousts, when he shattered with lustful thrusts of his lance the very columns that supported her portico.

...hmmm

Anyway, by September 14, 1523, things had changed and his time in Reggio was coming to an end. It was on that day that Pope Adrian VI did the only thing any Italian ever appreciated him for, and died. He was old and it was likely the lifetime of overwork that killed him, but that didn't stop the Romans from throwing a miniature festival in honor of his doctor.

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THE RIZZLER

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Aretino returned to Rome fashionably late for Cardinal Giulio's election as Pope Clement VII in December, 1523. This time the election was a foregone conclusion, as Giulio had beforehand acquiesced to the influential French faction of Roman politics, and King Francis I of France's ambassadors exerted enough pressure to dissolve the Colonna party. With Clement's election, Aretino believed his presence in the city would be welcome again.

(Francis I of France)

It was on the road to Rome that Pietro wrote a couple insulting satires of a man named Gianmatteo Giberti, Papal Datary and head of the French faction. It was the start of a long rivalry that would cause both men headaches that probably would've been best left avoided. Pietro was a famous and well respected writer that held a reputation high skill, especially in Rome. His word could greatly influence the public's perception of powerful figures, while his opponent held vast institutional power. As Papal Datary, Giberti controlled who did what within the Roman administration, including who was allowed close to the Pope.

But so what if some government middleman didn't like him? Surely he'd be fine with the backing of the Pope and the public! And he was, for the most part. He reestablished himself well there, quickly picking back up where he left off, running in banquets with the likes of the d'Estes and Gonzagas, sharing and receiving secrets and rumors. Pietro was entrenched again in Rome, protected among friends. His enemies wouldn't or couldn't do anything to touch him. Plucking the thorn out their side wasn't worth the bleeding it'd incur.

So his outer walls may have been unassailable, but that didn't mean he was always perfect. It shouldn't surprise you by now to hear Aretino didn't like to adhere to public sensibilities. Many of his works were seen as rather uncouth by the standards of their day, and he was called out more than a few times as such. Now, that isn't completely unheard of in his field. Many pioneer artist shirk convention in the pursuit of innovation, and the High Renaissance was certainly a time of change. That didn't mean there wasn't consequences, and Aretino was to learn that the hard way.

A master engraver employed by the Pope, Raimondi, created 16 sexually explicit engravings, based on 16 sketches by the artist Giulio Romano, who was now out of the spotlight in Mantua. When a couple of prudes brought this up with Clement VII in the Summer of 1524, he was forced to order the arrest of Raimondi, more to save face than out of genuine moral outrage. The scandal caught the attention of many elite artist and patrons of Rome, who sympathized with the imprisoned creative. Among them was Aretino, who advocated for his release by directly confronting the Pope, bypassing the official channel of the Datary.

This turned out to be a very dangerous misstep by Aretino, who had put himself at the center of the situation. It soon came out that the original 16 sketches were accompanied by 16 equally adult sonnets, and they were all remarkably similar to Aretino's signature style... Everyone knew it was him, and it was only a matter of time before the Pope had to issue another arrest warrant. So Pietro again fled North, and by invitation into the arms of his closest friend, Ludovico de'Medici.

(Fragment of the "Lustful Sonnets" that caused the scandal.)

Luckily for Aretino, the North was embroiled in war between the French king and German emperor, and Ludovico was one of the French side's principal commanders. This meant that Pietro could not only spend time with his favorite friend, but also had direct contact with King Francis I of France, the primary ally of the Pope and his Datary. Unluckily for Pietro, the active campaign meant that they hardly had time to engage in the same shenanigans they'd loved in Reggio.

One small noteworthy incident that occurred during this time was Niccolo Machiavelli's visit to the army. Ludovico had invited him along, and let him command his company for a brief period outside of action. The Florentine author proved himself more a theorist than a leader when he ordered the men to walk in confusing patterns till he was red-in-the-face exhausted, all the while Pietro and Ludovico laughed from the sidelines. They were all good natured about it, and Machiavelli afterward admitted that he lacked the ability to properly drill an army unit. However despite the environment, Aretino was hardly here for military matters.

Francis I was a highly respected monarch. Many, including Aretino, hailed him as the epitome of Renaissance kingship. It something he made great displays of; most famously in the "Field of the Cloth of Gold", a meeting between him and Henry VIII, meant to solve diplomatic matters while displaying the grandeur of both respective kings' courts'. In true Renaissance fashion, the meeting was lavish and almost theatrical, featuring tents of gold cloths, lavish meals, routine games, courtly processions, expensive gifts from foreign princes, and an entire temporary palace built for the visiting Henry VIII. If Aretino could successfully charm this charismatic king, then all of his Roman problems would be as good as solved.

Again, Aretino's reputation as a cajoler of the powerful preceded him here, as Francis I instantly took a liking to the writer. Through Francis, Aretino won back the favor of Clement and even got into the good graces of Giberti and his French faction, returning to Rome in November, 1524.

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ONLY THE GOOD DIE YOUNG

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Aretino soon got back into the groove of things, but war still raged on in the North after he won back his seat in Rome. Everything was going well with the French and it benefited him to be in their good graces, but that was soon to change. Francis' forces proved insufficient to take Milan, possibly due to purposeful sandbagging from the questionably loyal Duke of Urbino, lead commander of the Pope's military. Unable to make headway there, the French king advanced toward Pavia on the Po River, but was captured in the ensuing battle on the 25th of February, 1525.

(Pavia)

Now, this was obviously a problem for anyone in Rome who considered themselves French-aligned. Pietro himself immediately jumped ship the second the Frenchies were on the back step, spewing vitriol and condemnation from his pulpit, where before he had nothing but praise to shower the Frogs with. The polemics continued for several months until July 28th, when Pietro was assaulted one evening, and stabbed several times before being left for dead on the road.

Someone up there must've been watching out for Aretino, probably someone who found him amusing, because the scuffle was heard by people nearby, who came rushing to his aid. The writer survived greatly injured, and was for some months held up in his bed, deathly sick. During that time, many visitors came to his bedside, some swearing to avenge the assault, others to shame the man for his impiety, and one to apologize.

This visitor identified himself as Achille Della Volta, a rival writer who had lost the competition of one cook's heart to Aretino, for which Della Volta said he was motivated to commit the murder. Pietro didn't buy his story. He may have had many affairs in his life, but he didn't remember this cook. After a bit of prodding of this would-be murderer, it was revealed that he was employed in Gianmatteo Giberti's service, the party Aretino already expected to be responsible.

The event made Aretino seriously reevaluate his position in society. For his entire career, he'd been bouncing around the power centers of Italy, dodging daggers from power hungry and egotistical noblemen and their lackeys, all the while being just as deceitful as any one of them. It wasn't the hypocrisy nor immorality he minded. He was completely content with both, and would be for the rest of his life. What bothered him was that at any time, there could be another Della Volta running him through with a dagger, and he might actually hit something this time.

When Pietro recovered, he left Rome on October 13th, 1525, briefly spending time in Federico Gonzaga's court before joining again Ludovico in Lombardy (part of N. Italy). The war was back on then, as Francis had been released from captivity in exchange for his renunciation of the French hereditary claim to the Duchy of Burgundy, now a firmly Imperial Hapsburg appendage. Ludovico promised Aretino glory in the campaign. That after he and his Italians drove the foreign barbarians from Italy, the Marquisate of Arezzo would be Pietro's, and he'd be liberated of the need of a patron. The cloaked knives of the Della Voltas would be a fear long gone.

The mercenary's tendency to lead his men from the field cut this dream short. In late November, leading his men in the field on horseback, Ludovico de'Medici received a cannonball to a leg. He was quickly taken to medical services, who saw it necessary to amputate the injured limb. His friend Pietro stayed with him all throughout the affair, leaving only when the surgery was being performed. Like Pietro, he received many visitors while ill, often fellow commanders, who he advised on the conduct of the war. When it became clear that he would not recover from the amputation, he requested Aretino's presence, who read to him while keeping him company. The Great Devil was recalled to Heck on November 29/30th, 1526, 28 years old.

In a letter to Ludovico's young son's secretary soon after, Aretino expressed his feelings for the man and what his loss meant to him in probably the most genuine terms he'd ever write,

[...] The vigor of his spirit was incredible. Liberality meant more to him then power. He gave more to his soldiers than he kept to himself, though he too was a soldier. He endured hardship with patience and grace. He could always control his anger. All that he said he would do he did. [...]

[...] His virtues were his own, his faults those of youth. God knows that if he had lived into an age all would have known of his bounty, as I myself already had experienced it. Truly he was the most generous friend a man could ever have. [...]

Finishing,

[...] I only wish I were lying when I state that Florence and Rome will soon find what it means to not have this man among the living. Yet methinks I can already hear the Pope rejoice. He believes himself better off for having lost so great a hero.

He was certainly looking on the man with rose-tinted glasses, but his last message to Rome guarantees he was speaking from the heart, rather than with an eye to his social standing. Aretino normally always wrote with political considerations in mind, but the way this one ended was downright irresponsible for a man in his position.

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THE LAST LAUGH

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Oh boy it's time for Germans to ruin everything yet again!

Pietro was in a bit of a rough spot. His favorite boy toy (and protector) was dead and he had lost his prominent position in Rome. The Rome thing didn't bother him as much, since he was a bit soured on the Eternal City after all his experiences there. In fact, he never wanted to go back again. In his mind, It was the Pope and his stupid war that got Ludovico killed, and almost got him killed through Pope's Datary. Now he was just angry at them, and for a time the mask of cordiality slipped from his face.

Aretino published a Giudizio, essentially a pamphlet of future predictions, lambasting the Pope and Rome, prophesying a doom soon to befall them both. Just like Pasquinades, Guidizios were not Aretino's invention, and predate his foray into the writing form significantly. Originally, Guidizios were astrological predictions, used to give voice to a writer's expectations on the state of the world in the near future. By the time Aretino wrote his, they'd become extremely politicized, serving more as vehicles for commentary on prominent officials and current events.

The Guidizio enraged Clement VII, as it came during a time of political blunder for the him and his French allies. The Colonna had staged a coup in Rome back in September, and temporarily held the city while they extorted agreements from the embattled Pope. The French and their allies in Lombardy weren't faring much better militarily, suffering defeat at the hands of Imperial forces. It was a sensitive time for Clement VII, and he couldn't afford a renowned writer like Aretino bashing him so severely.

He sent a request to Federico Gonzaga (whose court Pietro was residing in again) to arrest Aretino and transfer him into Papal custody. In a show of loyalty, Federico replied with an offer to personally execute the rouge author. The offer was merely political performance, as while offering Clement Pietro's head, Gonzaga was at the same time giving Aretino a large sum of money and sending him off to Venice, far out from the Pope's reach. The Venice of the High Renaissance was famed for its liberty, housing several refugees and dissidents from across the Italian Peninsula. It made the perfect home for a loud mouthed troublemaker with a penchant for bashing the powerful.

It was from his early days in Venice that Pietro watched his Guidizio come to pass. The Emperor's mercenary army marched on Rome in 1527, and apparently without Imperial authorization, committed one of the most infamous sackings of the Early Modern period. Having lost centralized leadership, the army razed the city after its capture, killing, raping, and looting indiscriminately. Nearly no part of the city was spared, even the catacombs underground were desecrated by soldiers. As blood flowed in the streets, the Pope could do little but watch from the near-impenetrable Castle St. Angelo. The only area of the city that was spared was the Colonna palace, whose owners had garrisoned their residence with their own soldiers and offered protection inside the walls to any Roman willing and able to pay their fee.

(Colonna Palace)

Aretino would spend nearly the entire latter half of his life residing in Venice. It's where most of his major works were published, and also where he reached his zenith of fame. By the end of his life, Pietro Aretino had become a household name across Europe, sitting alongside other prominent Renaissance Italian writers like Ariosto and Boccaccio. It was in this retirement that Pietro met his second best friend, the painter Titian. Titian held high respect for Aretino, who helped improve the former's work through his criticism while simultaneously spreading word of his skills as an artist to the likes of Emperor Charles V. Pietro even met the Emperor in person once, as he accompanied his friend Guidobaldo Della Rovere, Duke of Urbino (son and heir of the possible traitor mentioned earlier), to visit the man outside Verona in 1543. Charles was on a goodwill tour of Italy, and asked the author to accompany him on a ride on horseback, sharing lengthy conversation all the while. Aretino was invited to dinner afterward, when Charles requested his presence for the entirety of the trip, but Pietro declined, preferring to return to Venice.

As for Pietro's personal life in Venice, he led a libertine lifestyle similar to how he had under his various patrons, but with him now acting as lord of the household. Much of his staff were young men and women, making their money from running scams and stealing, just as much from Aretino himself as from random gullible Venetians. Aretino ran his house like a hippy free love commune: household members had s*x with each other, Aretino, visiting dignitaries and elite friends of their master, or really anyone wanting to stop by. Aretino himself was very prolific in these affairs, laying with both the men and women of his household. As you can imagine, many children were born from these ventures, their fathers' identities rarely known. Aretino had two daughters that we know of, but one died after moving in with her abusive husband, while the other's later life is lost to history.

On top of revenue generated from his works, Aretino continued to make money in the same way he had before Venice. He continued to blackmail, satirize, and extort the rich and powerful, receiving a steady stream of money from prominent figures wanting to make use of his talents against their opponents, or to help build up their reputations. He did so under the protection of Venice's Doge, who also helped him smooth things over with the Papacy. He reached such prominence in Venice that his doorstep practically became a revolving door that much of the elite and their representatives regularly passed through. He held communications with the English, French, and Imperial courts, as well as just about anybody who was any one in Italy.

The rest of his life was very much an anti-climax. He lived an easy life until he reached old age, never slowing his indulgence of Earthly pleasures. He would die on October 21, 1556, aged 63. He died from suffocation after reportedly falling backwards from his chair and hitting his head, having laughed too hard at a joke one of his friends told.

It's almost unfortunate he went out so comfortably after living such an inflammatory life, but at the same time it is rather fitting that he managed to weasel out of every rough spot he ever ended up in. I guess you don't make a career out of shit talking and manipulation without some knowledge of how to survive.

I didn't go much over the details of Pietro's later life in Venice, but it still does have some juicy bits, even if it wasn't as grandiose as his tenures in the various Medici households. For an example, one of his closest male servants and something of a writing apprentice to him, Nicolo Franco, grew to hate him and dedicated much of his career to badmouthing and trying to one up Aretino. Their dispute came to a head when one of Aretino's other servants tried to kill Franco for disrespecting their master. He was probably acting independently, but the attempt on his life cemented Franco's dislike of Aretino. For his part, Pietro never really took the junior writer seriously, even counseling the authorities to go easy on him after Franco's writing got him in trouble with the law. Franco would continue to try and beat down Aretino's reputation until his execution in the 1570s (once again a consequence of of his work).

There was also another time Aretino almost got busted for sexing up his male servants, but that fizzled out with nothing happening (likely due to Aretino's influence within the patrician families of Venice). He was also knighted in the order of St. John by Clement VII after the Doge and the Duke of Urbino advocated for him, but he still preferred to stay far from Rome for the rest of his days. It was nothing if not understandable after Della Volta and Ludovico.

I'll be making a source post in /h/lit sometime soon if you want to check my accuracy. I pinky-promise I didn't plagiarize anything, Breadtube, honest! Pwease don't cancel me, Mistur HBomb!