32k follower gigalib promotes rDrama This is fricking https://rdrama.net. a fricking site almost exclusively dedicated to pro-r*pe posting.

TLDR; I caution people away from potentially falling into the trap of using "r*pe mythology" when considering the effects of trauma due to boundary crossing from cohersive communication. Essentially, the premise is that the act of oral and eye contact are not independent, so the threat to consent and resulting reaction are not either. I providing a narrative to describe why a human-being may experience—conscious or unconcious—a trauma response due to boundary crossing, that is ultimately felt in the mind and body as sexual assault (irrelevant of the legal definition).

Unconciousness is not normal during s*x, particularly for extended periods of time. So it raises some medical questions.

Preface/disclaimer: Firstly, I appologise for the length. Secondly and most importantly, I'm not a lawyer or psychologist, although I psychological training. Thirdly and closely following in importance, I want to recognise that OP clearly cares for and regrets the outcome of this interaction. I'm not proposing that this is sexual assault, that can only be defined by OPs FWB. Lastly, I feel that we should be a bit more critical about the potential effect of boundary crossing; you can never know what a boundary means for a person in a situation like this, and how someone will react.

Stay with me, I'll try to illustrate below:

Medically speaking, I am concerned with the possibility of this being a trauma response (e.g., an extreme freeze-response of some sort). However, I acknowledge there are other explanations such as some central nervous system disorder etc.

For instance, Narcolepsy with cataplexy is triggered by strong emotions (i.e., good or bad)—although, cataplexy should have allowed him to maintain consciousness whilst losing muscle tension and control.

This leads me to address the discourse within this thread. People are saying that because he didn't tell you to stop oral, despite insisting on no for eye contact, he cannot possibly be any form of boundary crossing within the spectrum of sexual assault. Note that both acts are inherently tied together. As such, it is important to recognise that for many people and cultures, intense prolonged eye contact is extremely distressing.

Furthermore, we all need to realise that people who do have trauma responses can comply, stop protesting, or dissociate (including unconciousness) after boundary crossing and cohersive pressure; their mind-body automatically takes a previously effective approach to threat (it's an adaptive mechanism; see feinting goats for this mechanism in another animal). This feeling of unsafeness can be due to relational/emotional-abuse safety reasons, not just physical (they're equal). What we know about threat responses is that when people are feeling unsafe (thus highly emotional), our logical part of our brain switches off.

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