Caroline Ellison, former chief executive officer of Alameda Research LLC, was sentenced Tuesday for helping Sam Bankman-Fried cover up FTX's fraudulent misuse of customer funds.
US District Judge Lewis Kaplan noted that he is allowed to show Ellison leniency for providing "substantial assistance to the government." He then confirmed that he always considered the maximum sentence she faced of 110 years to be "absurd," considering that Ellison had no inconsistencies in her testimony and fully cooperated with the government throughout their FTX probe.
"I've seen a lot of cooperators in 30 years," Kaplan said. "I've never seen one quite like Ms. Ellison."
No honor among thieves.
[Kaplan] called Bankman-Fried her "Kryptonite" because the FTX co-founder so easily exploited such a "very strong person."
[US attorney Damian] Williams praised Ellison as exceptionally forthcoming, even alerting the government to criminal activity that they didn't even know about yet. He also credited her for persevering as a truth-teller "despite harsh media and public scrutiny and Bankman-Fried's efforts to publicly weaponize her personal writings to discredit and intimidate her."
"The Government cannot think of another cooperating witness in recent history who has received a greater level of attention and harassment," Williams wrote.
Geez, the government is really trying to get in her pants. 
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That minx!
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In Kaplan's defense, I've also literally never seen another human quite like Ms. Ellison.
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What about that cop lady who slept with most of her colleagues and then successfully sued for sexual harassment?
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Fricking based
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Do you think we can write her fan mail in prison?
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She hasn't responded to me yet :<
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I'm absolutely hand writing the pasta and sending it to her
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World's most photogenic weasel
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You'll never know the thrill
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Does she have a genetic deformity?
No cap on a stack fr ong 
, she is the ugliest woman I have ever seen 
, barring obvious genetic mutants 
(unless she is one, then she has some stiff competition)
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Yes she has some anglo blood in her
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Gen-z scammer and plea deal! Gen-z scammer and plea deal!
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this woman was the biggest rat weve ever had!
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