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Ultrashitpost they/them  1d ago (reddit.com) 1,468 thread views #303603

Lana Del Ray got married to the love of her life, Amos Moses the Alligator tour guide. For some reason this really pisses off the ladies at /r/fauxmoi

https://old.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1fqfzdd/lana_del_rey_marries_alligator_tour_guide_jeremy/ 




It was on the frontpage, i dont even know why they are so mad about it




















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Lana has known Jeremy since 2019 (at least that's the fricking year she first posted pics of her with him) so they've been friends for a fricking while.
As a fricking Lana fan I'm not surprised by this at all like this is her fricking dream lol
Congrats
And this why I don't listen to her music. I know she's talented as frick but she is fricking just too weird for me.
>popstar marries normal person who she's known for five years
>"who the fricking frick does this psycho b-word think she is, b-word? I can't relate to her at all"































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>she's too weird for me
The poster in question































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My best friend with OCD said she didn't trust me to change her baby's diaper because of she's afraid I would sexually abuse her child.
lmao great find































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Also active in Bipolar, Plussize and TwoX
:marseyitsover:































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It's funny being told "eat less" when it's basically a fricking chore getting 2000 calories a fricking day.
I think she manages just fine, motherlover!































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The 2000/2500 calories a day rule is r-slurred for today's society. It's meant for active people, not people who sit on their butt all day (90% of people today)































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Also people seem to forget that your height has a huge impact on what your target weight should be and similarly your target calories.
A 6'2" man should be eating significantly more than a 5'0" woman. Even if they both have the same level of physical activity.































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I ate 4100 calories yesterday, lost weight and I'm fricking pissed about it. How does that even happen???




Putting the :e: in :marseyexcited:





























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Tapeworm :worm:































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Nah I take the ivermectin for covid




Putting the :e: in :marseyexcited:





























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More comments 














































And she's been trainposting :marseytranspearlclutch:































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https://old.reddit.com/r/TwoXChromosomes/comments/1apifht/a_man_carrying_ice_skates_jumped_scared_me_this/
My body hasn't stopped vibrating. I was walking home less than one hour after sun down when a tall 20ish year old butthole jumped in front of me while yelling "grrrrrrr" blocking my path and scarring the shit out of me.
I screamed and yelled at him "WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?"
To which he chuckled "to scar you".
As he started walking away I stood my ground and said "why the frick would you scare a woman walking alone in the dark?"
He just laughed and said "come on it's a joke".
As I stared at him waking away I screamed "you're a fricking predator butthole and frick you!"
He looked back at me but then I darted home.
I never like going out after dark alone. Which makes life difficult and being brave can take a lot out of a person. Today I felt so confident being independent and look what happens. Just another women hating male who saw me vulnerable and decided to take his low self esteem and anger out on me. He's the kind guy who wonders endlessly why it's so hard to find a girlfriend.
lmao































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:#marseyretardchadlove::#marseyretardchadlove::#marseyretardchadlove:































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Average reddit foid































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/u/StringAdventurous479 how is Lana too weird for you when every post you make is about how you're humongously fat, riddled with mental disorders, married to an invalid, and worst of all live in Boston































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How do I make the robot harass her :marseycry:































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Only one ping an hour :marseycheerup:































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:marseyxd: most functional fauxmoi poster































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>posts on landlordlove 
Which on of you bpd hoes is this? :marseyxd:































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This was the anti-baitsub which formed as a reaction to LoveForLandlords. Mostly filled with thinly veiled sarcastic seething.































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That's not a bait sub































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lmaooooo
/u/StringAdventurous479 have you considered losing weight































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MANY SUCH CASES































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And this why I don't listen to her music. I know she's talented as frick but she is fricking just too weird for me.
I've never really understood this philosophy. I just kind of assume entertainers are all doing some kind of shady shit in secret and I don't really care as long as they entertain me well.































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These dumb hogs can't enjoy someone's work, they have to be fans and agree with the entire person































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Women and the solipsism problem media literacy etc etc































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It's like people who said they weren't fans of Brand New anymore after Jesse Lacey admitted to having s*x with lots of fans.































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popstar marries normal person who she's known for five years
The local alligator tour guide is not a normal person even in Louisiana lol.




Putting the :e: in :marseyexcited:





























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What are you talking about? It's Louisiana's third most common occupation behind home insurance flood claims analyst and drive-thru margarita dispenser.































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and drive-thru margarita dispenser.
Isnt that the keyes?































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Come on down to Shreveport where you can get your 2 for 5 drive through daiquiris surrounded by 2 square miles of boarded up shacks































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I just imagine a dude who spends his days doing bad Steve Irwin impressions. :carpmantine:































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Think less Steve Irwin and more tiger king with gators




Putting the :e: in :marseyexcited:





























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That's Steve Irwin. It's not like he held a degree or some shit He was a hillbilly with a roadside zoo filled with animals his dad and he captured.































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>For some reason
Let me show you the reasons...
MAGA allegations
...
She wore a mesh mask during the mandate, that's all I needed to see.
...
her boy's a transphobe
And there :marseycheerup: we have Redditor :marseyhammersnoo: hatemaxxing Bingo































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MAGA allegations
She cast a fricking witchcraft spell against Trump
She wore a fricking mesh mask during the fricking mandate
If you're that scared of Covid then don't go to a fricking book signing during a fricking pandemic.
her boy's a fricking transphobe
A fricking Louisiana alligator tour guide doesn't tick every progressive box, b-word? :marseyshook:
Fricking Redditors































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Witch craft wife racist husband is a common white archetype
https://i.rdrama.net/images/17274466737659645.webp































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Relationship goals.
:#marseywholesome:































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She wore a fricking mesh mask during the fricking mandate
I hate Covidcels so much































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I still see people driving :marseysteer: alone :marseyitsdangerous: with windows :marseybsod: up while wearing a mask. Glad they flag themselves.































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The legbeards of /r/fauxmoi live vicariously through random celebrities. As soon as some famous foid doesn't do what they imagine themselves doing in her situation they lose their shit in the weirdest way possible :femcel:
I guess they wouldn't have married the Alligator tour guide :marseyshrug:































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They would drop this in a second if alligator tour guide was a little handsome, said something sweet, and was actually interested in them.































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I guarantee that everyone of these foids has a crush or has banged chuddy outdoor men instead of feminists soyboys. They just act like this on reddit.































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They're reddit tier femcels, they aren't getting laid much lol.































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Okay so she got married quickly to a man that is an alligator tour guide and potential MAGA supporter?? What am I missing?
so they're just upset that he likes the orange man?
Lana Del Rey you could've gotten any other man!!
Maybe they just get along well together despite not being some famous charismatic liberal or whatever would have made the best story :marseyshrug:































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Maybe they just get along well together despite not being some famous charismatic liberal or whatever would have made the best story
You think LOVE has a place in this world, you fricking Chud?
:soyjakferal#:































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They're upset that they think people like him like the orange man.































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Reminds me of the train advertisements promoting free love and fricking anyone you want but also sneeding about women fricking conservatives lol.
It's a massive self-own anyways, no one cares about the political opinions of whoever men frick or date. It's only women that have this weird pressure where they have to give out access to their kitty for Good Boy Points, and a lot of that pressure comes from other women.































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From the same people who pretend to give a shit about the working class































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:#marseyisaac:
Snapshots:
https://old.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/1fqfzdd/lana_del_rey_marries_alligator_tour_guide_jeremy/:































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Me rn (lana didnt choose me)































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>marsey































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roasties seething because this is a massive W for moids.
a literal swamp creature bagged a hot millionaire popstar. moids stay winning.
you'd never see a swamp witch bagging a hot pop twink.































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depends how good she is at that swamp hexing































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No druid worth his salt would let some swamp witch hex him
https://i.rdrama.net/images/1727474994975107.webp































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Hot































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https://i.rdrama.net/images/1727440876270608.webp
Looks like possibly the world's most normal couple































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Looks like he owns an offshore tooling company and is loaded but still a complete coonass that sleeps with a dip in
This is like 60% of customers































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He doesn't wear camo alligator skin everywhere and have 3 human teeth?































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They're so mad, still bringing up the mask and taking about prenup more than a grumpy divorced guys/MGTOW
One of comments even had this gem https://i.rdrama.net/images/17274362493344665.webp































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Tigerdroppings poster scoring a mega pop star is an all time get for !dixie































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Does he like actually have an account there or are people just saying that because he's a stereotypical poster?































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He certainly seems like an outdoor board regular
I'd put all my savings on he has lurkered TD at minimum































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probably 60% of dudes i know lurk TD, i know one person who actually posts































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They're mad because she's 39 and getting a ring while they're 39 and not getting one.































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I really don't know much about Lana or her music but I'm sorry to any of her fans. It sucks to have an artist turn out like this and I'd be gutted and disgusted if someone I liked married such a foul bigot.
what do her fans see in her i truly don't understand it
Idk maybe they just like the music
I would kill my self if I thought like this































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The commenters on Reddit are so hateful. Why do they think it's ok to go online and be racist against a bunch of coonasses that objectively did nothing wrong




Putting the :e: in :marseyexcited:





























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:#marseycoonass:































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swamp man bad































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a banger
!dixie































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so this is who lana del ray is. i havent been banned from fauxmoi yet































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The only thing I know about her is this meme :marseychicken:































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Isn't she the town bike tho?































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Absolute Drama Queen
!sigmastacies































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this is based actually (mostly for Amos but also for lana)































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