First I would like to introduce /u/salaamswt, who I must reluctantly admit is the real protagonist of this entire story. This man is a Yemeni from the mean streets of Lackawanna in upstate NY.
Whenever he isn't drinking, puffing on his hookah, posting way too much personal info to Reddit on /r/Islam or /r/boypusssy or cruising for gay s*x in public parks, he is likely searching for poon, which he started to do at the age of 15.
Some fun facts about him:
In case you couldn't tell by his pfp, he is a big fan of Mia Khalifa.
This hamplanet is his girlfriend:
(No longer his actual gf, updated with a different similar fat woman at his request.)
https://old.reddit.com/r/BBWaddict/comments/1ggbw4e/in_the_dunes/
https://old.reddit.com/r/BBWaddict/comments/1ggcjr9/some_more_poses/
A funny thread about Jordanians concerned for the poor camel he plans to take her for a ride on.
He is an absolute Chad that smokes pot while driving.
Some of his other best hits:
Quantum physics is Haram because of all the Jews in it.
He makes beggars recite the Shahada.
Suggesting payday loans to other Muslims.
Literally pooping on his grandma. 
He possibly convinced that same grandma to vote for Trump. 
Now let's introduce /r/neoconnwo. Basically, it's a sub for rightoids exiled by the /r/neoliberal 
jannies. It is quite rdrama-adjacent and used to be even more. We have quite a few users here from it such as @BushWasRight,
@CitroAbsinthe,
@johannesalthusius and myself.
For some it is just a mildly rightoid shitposting sub. The jannies actively encourage racism, as long as it's under the gigajannie radar. Unfortunately, in greater and greater amounts it is filling up with overly serious third worlders who think that the discussion thread is a place for them to discuss high school admissions, chronicle their dating lives (except you /u/Thadlust, you're funny when you do it), post their treatises on world politics or discuss how to fix the Republican party to a semi-public audience of about 20 people on a good day. This latter group also has an incredibly distorted idea of baiting, which they call "bullying". This consists of unironically arguing with lib tourists on the sub to the applause and backpatting of their 15 internet friends.
You might think that such an erudite and intelligent group of bullies would have no problem dealing with a Yemeni that has pot-fried his brain so hard that about a third of his words are neighbor but you would be surprised.
It begins with him absolutely dominating bants with the victories of the glorious warriors of Islam. but quickly escalates as he lifts the veil of the sub and peers into the very SOVL of its users.
who r U? u really think this subreddit some kinda secret club? u all losers jerkin each other off pretendin you got a VIP pass to the club when all u doin is sittin on ur fat asses
My brother in Yakob you are arguing with a thirteen year old troll
I know. I like bullying, literally meaning
"i like making catty comments on a random subreddit that barely gets any traffic and pretending I'm a kewl mean girl" go show these screenshots to your grandma u corny butt neighbor itll be the only time she'll ever be proud of u
Which is such an own that it gets more upmarseyd than the local who pretends not to see it to spare himself the shame of having to attempt to respond.
lol ur comment history is just words n more words n huffing ur own farts. U ain't as smart as u think u r
ching chong ding dong long wang flung dung eggs won ton chicken fried rice. n give me a fortune cookie too
LaserAlpaca desperately tries to recover from his humiliation:
Please never ban salaamswf (other guy)
from my understanding of experimenting with him. You can trigger him by saying bad things to Arabs. Mom attack works ok not too sure how efficient it is.
Sadly here is Reddit, many things I cannot say or I can show you true insulting techniques from China.
u "troll" like a 13 year old who saw a rage face on knowyourmeme for the first time
I mean I have to go to your level to fight you right?
fight me? neighbor u postin comments on reddit
I don't think you can say that word
neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor neighbor
Anyways, his entire comment history, especially on /r/neoconNWO is just gold.
Enjoy a bonus thread of him, featuring trains.
Btw in case you were wondering where the material for all these truthnukes comes from, Yemeni scientists are hard at work enriching copper.
Anyways, /u/salaamswt is a fun guy, hope we can entice him to come here.
If you're seeing this from crosstalk pm bot salaamswt, I'm KamalaFanBoy. 
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!ranchersJump in the discussion.
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lol i bet he coptic. copts suck off westerners harder than vacuum cleaners
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You are a westerner, neighbor, you're from New York.
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no im yemeni, raised in a yemeni comunnity with yemeni values. u insecure?
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!metashit member when we used to upmarsey the lolcows?
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Classic borpa
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I always upmarsey you though
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Thx it's true we also used to upmarsey high quality posters with big peepees
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I upmarseyd him the whole time he was claiming he could beat my butt, dont blame me
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So you're a Westoid then?
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you're living evidence that a lot of second gens need to be deported
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cry abt it. just cuz we dont do drugs n have s*x outside of marriage we deserve to be deported? maybe ur culture just ain't worth identifying with namsayin?
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not gonna cry. just waiting 'til the day when me and the boys are allowed to put you in a cattle car, hopefully before you get to stab america in the back too much
what's this "we" shit? for all i know, your friends and family might be cool and welcome. it has nothing to do with any tendency toward self-discipline or modesty. that's silly. those are the most admirable things about islam.
the only reason i want YOU gone is because YOU believe YOURSELF to be a foreigner. that means you are fundamentally not one of us. how can you be trusted? ask former yugoslavs how they feel about their component groups not identifying as yugoslavs. stop thinking of yourself as a yemeni and start thinking of yourself as an american.
and you do do drugs and have s*x outside of marriage, liar. the OP already covered that. you're a shitty muslim who cosplays as a devout one.
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π€£π€£π€£ neighbor i seen ghetto gang members make more credible threats on facebook
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Yes I'm secretly from Yemen and ashamed.
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do you do cool yemeni pirate things?
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u thinkin of somalians. btw, even somalians dont dare to attack our boats. aint no one in the gulf wanna frick w/us.
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Oh you're one of the non-houthi yemenis. BORING
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Bruh do you think the literal shithole of Yemen is commanding any sort of respect within the region? Yemen is worse off than Palestine as far as Iranian proxies go and their constant edging of conflict with the west means they might not be around much longer.
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neighbor u got gay flags all over ur profile I dont wanna hear shit from u. we throw u ppl off rooftops in yemen. Keep your armchair geopolitical bs to yourself abt how we (thousands of years old country) totally gonna fall any day now.
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Those boys would eat his butt
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No they don't
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holy shit neighbor i only just met u n ur gimmick is stale. stop commenting already.
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It's not a gimmick
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But they don't?
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Not a carp alt but definitely an alt
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They do?
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I DO NOT SCARE
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What happened?
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The Arab guy in the video was recorded being threatening to the fat woman and that was one of the quotes.
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From my time browsing grinder and being inundated with messages from fat grandpas and arabs, I'm absolutely convinced that 90+% of arabs are gay and in denial about topping also being gay
Literal ancient view of what gay is lmao
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Arabs literally frick little boys
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bacha_bazi
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Not that I don't love dunking on Arabs but Afghans are decidedly NOT arabs.
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yeah n persians r not arabs n turks k kurds n afghans n.... wow r there rlly any arabs left in the middle east at this point
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en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Afghan_Arabs
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Yeah them are inbred and strung out Afghan tribals and not Arabs, though.
Arabs mostly don't do that.
A lot more than you would expect are gay though. They just keep it low key
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Fat grandpas?
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Yeah, gay dating apps are absolutely overrun with them, guessing their wives stopped putting out after menopause so they try to get some bussy
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What is topping?
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