How do I tactfully ask if someone is trans? 
You don't "love all women" if you were so hung up on the possibility of them having a peepee. It sounds like you should work on your trauma before you inflict it on the women of your local dating scene.
A story in three parts.
1. Our heroin asks for advice (Jannied)
Those is probably a troll post because she was supposedly married to a trans woman for a decade or something. Anyway, the story is she is talking to a woman on a dating site who starts gets flirty very quickly. 
Flirting? On a dating site?
She says she doesn't like peepee a few times and the other woman ignores it. Eventually the other woman asks if she's not into trans woman, she says no, the other woman calls her gross and loses interest.
Anyway, the 
s get very offended by this whole interaction and spend a lot of time trying to re-educate the lesbian on what it means to be a woman. Actually, the first two posters claim to be cis women.
2. Our heroin goes to her hugbox
This part doesn't add to the story, but it's probably why all the comments from the first part are downmarseyd, as the lesbian gang followed op into enemy territory and smashed that π button.
3. Trans rage
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Slip them some viagra and see if they get a boner.
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