Reddit gets a trying to become even more cute and valid

After about 2 years of waiting, I finally got medi-cal to cover FFS and they referred me to someone I'd never heard of and couldn't find much information about online, Dr. Alex Kim in Beverly Hills. I walked in to California Hospital in downtown LA the morning of the procedure feeling hopeful for my new future, then afterward spent a long night in a recovery room begging the nurses to loosen my head bandages because they were so tight under my chin that I couldn't swallow or speak without pain and felt I couldn't breathe properly.The nurses pretty much told me to stop complaining, that my blood oxygen was normal so I was breathing fine. One of them said "you need to calm down, you just had a major surgery, if it was easy everyone would do it." Another told me I had already lost a lot of blood and if they loosen the bandages I might bleed out and since I'd already had a transfusion they wouldn't be able to give me another. Another noticed my left arm was limp, which I thought was just due to laying on it weird. They said I may be having a stroke and I need to calm down if I didn't want to end up in the ICU. The next morning I was discharged, my brother drove me home but once I got inside was having trouble breathing because I was swallowing too much blood and couldn't spit it out into the trashcan fast enough. I told my brother to call 911 so they could hopefully open my airway. Paramedics arrived and noticed my limp left arm and suspected I may be having a stroke, then they drove me back to California Hospital ER which transferred me to Keck USC hospital which ultimately saved my life. Doctors there preformed an emergency tracheotomy to allow me to breathe again despite the severe swelling in my neck and did imaging to confirm that I had indeed sufferred a stroke in my right frontal lobe, after which a neurosurgeon put in a stent to clear the clot. When I awoke I could not even open my eyes, all I could do was listen to the medical staff all around me commenting on how 30 is so young to have a stroke and how much of a shame it was for all this to happen to me for cosmetic surgery. I couldn't speak either to explain to them that this was not a cosmetic procedure but was medically necessary.

Turns out that during the mandible reduction, something went wrong and caused severe trauma to my carotid artery resulting in significant bleeding, all of which resulted in a stroke and brain damage. Now I can't use my left arm. I can't play games or type or work or tie my own shoelaces. My eyes are also different sizes now, with one dilated more than the other and I have some difficulty focusing or looking at bright light. I'll need to take blood thinners for the rest of my life to ward off a second stroke. I feel like my life is ruined. I don't know how to process all of this, I feel such regret. It's so hard knowing that if I could have just accepted the way I looked or if I had enough money to choose my own surgeon that I might still have a future now.