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Micro $ oft makes tool to detect people talking about leaving their job, having private conversations

https://old.reddit.com/r/sysadmin/comments/v3b2mn/microsoft_introducing_ways_to_detect_people?sort=controversial

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I guess if you have such an issue with this, perhaps one or more of those categories hits a little too close to home?

Yup, figured you might overreact like that.

No matter if I (or anyone really) do not completely agree with your statements says, you'll attack them, trying to make your point of view legitimate.

People like you should not have a voice. Not because of censorship, but because you're an idiot.

Lol talking abkout overrweacting and going ad hominem you are not only an idiot but a stupid butthole.

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Or how about stop spying on people?

Employees signed an acceptable use policy acknowledging no expectation of privacy while using work computers, and furthermore that job searching while on the job is not permitted. Not sure what business you're in, but we don't want to pay employees to search for new jobs, nor want them to exfiltrate all their work product to take with them to their new gig.

Mmm, how's the boot taste?

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Christ the hypothetical victim-blaming in here is absurd. Nobody’s saying it’s smart to do this shit on corporate devices/apps, you are missing the entire point.

The tech itself is abhorrent regardless of legality. I’ve refused to do other nanny state reporting bullshit for middle managers and if this came up I’d refuse to do that too.

Nobody is expecting corporate communications to be private from their employer, but at the same time nobody assumes automated behavioral analysis of all of their communication to be running 24/7 trying to recreate Minority Report - and the text above doesn’t suggest that the targeted users are notified this is happening in any way at all.

Emphasis on “targeted” - no org is going to turn this on for any kind of leadership, HR, etc. Frick everything about this.

These systems are designed to protect the company from becoming a victim. You’re blaming a potential victim for trying to protect themselves. Very gross.

My controversial take: Companies are not people and don't have any rights.

A company failing has far more impact than a person failing. Companies should have more rights.

Biggest lolcow: You, the reader.

88
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It's a private company sweaty, if you don't like it just don't work there :marseynails:

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This is something Microsoft lets other companies have. I assume they're selling it though and not giving it away. Any big tech company with paranoia about leaks and stuff might get this.

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It's all going to be packaged in higher tier M365 packages, particularly E5, possibly in a separate Microsoft DLP addon to the EMS suite, with teaser features included on EMS E3 and some 9365 packages as well to give companies a taste for upgrades. This functionality already exists, most notably in Forcepoints Data Loss Prevention tool, which includes vague "behavioral analysis" features (read: light Glowie shit). The killer feature here will be Teams integration, so I'll need to stop posting memes I find here in my group chats with the homies at work

:#marseysweating:

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Teams integration

i'll die first before i let this happen

edgy memes is the fuel our projects run on

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From: [email protected]

Cc: your boss

Subject: Meeting to Discuss Images posted in Teams Chat

Hi atakeonhooper,

Our security department notified us of a concerning image you posted in a group chat with coworkers. Our Microsoft security tools scanned the thread and identified an image described as "a stylized cartoon Simpsons character in a squating position using his posterior to choke George Floyd with a caption of 'I can't sneed'". This may violate our content policies and we need to discuss.

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Is there going to be a slack integration? I talk too much shit on company slack in private channels.

!blackjack105

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Why the frick would there be a slack integration, Microsoft doesn't give a shit about Slackcels

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My company has it and we're just generic mfg, loose lips sink ships, even if the ship is a merchant marine.

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As long as they are a private company they have no reason to act morally or rationally or value things outside of the executives paycheck. -Reddit liberals

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Unless it's Chick-fil-A

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Or a bakery owned by an old religious guy.

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I like this actually, I want my company to think I'm leaving them all the time and know that with all the inside information I have I'd never buy my company's stock even with a gun to my head.

If you're on my hustle level you'll use this for you.

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Based. This should get rid of the lazy deadbeat antiworkers :wholesomeseal:.

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yeah I checked anti work the other day and today I got called in for a performance reprimand by my manager

Can't wait for that post 🙄

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go make it!

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I have no good accounts, someone else feel free to seize the opportunity

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That would need antiworkers to get employed first.

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Think of the improved efficiencies! :wholesomeseal:

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Literally just use a personal cell phone it's current year plus seven, there is no excuse :marseyspecial:

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The specificity to which this is written:

This is a good thing 90% of the time.

Most of this pertains to doing work with agencies or businesses which are highly regulated by law.

Any decent employer will say "if you are on a company-paid network, or using company-purchased machine, we monitor those things and you don't have a right to privacy. Click here to acknowledge, and to proceed to the intranet we paid for."

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Yeah this is literally nothing. Sorry its not my fault you're r-slurred and are using teams to shit on the company instead of texting them from your phone where they dont have software installed

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But what if I like my coworkers enough to commiserate about how shit the company is but not enough that they exist to me after 5PM?

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You should get their personal phone numbers and email addresses just in case. I do this with everyone after I get a new job

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If that was always the case I'd agree. The problem is that some companies make you install monitoring shit on your personal devices too.

Worth it for the salary? Yes. Disturbing, and forcing you to break rules if you want privacy? Also yes

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Yea bro you signed an NDA. If you don't want your privacy assraped, just don't enter our office building and work for us.

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The real question is: does this surveillance start and end with monitoring illegal behavior? Or does it expand to "immoral" behavior?

For example, I think that anybody who participates in Cancel Culture is a piece of shit who ought to be executed, and part of the reason I supported Trump in 2016 was to help make this happen. Obviously I would never break the law when plotting to bring destruction to my political enemies, but I would certainly engage in underhanded behavior, like online trolling, spreading harmful rumors, or false flag attacks - all behavior that is completely legal, as we well know.

If my company eavesdrops on me and sees that I hate my political enemies and want to kill them, do they report me to a psychiatric professional? To law enforcement? Because if so, then I think the company ought to be sued to death, or possibly even have criminal charges pressed against them. After all, I may want to see my enemies killed, and I may take steps to indirectly bring about that end result, but if I can get my enemies killed without breaking the law in any way, how am I any different from your typical politician or CEO? What happens if my company mistakenly assumes that I'm crazy and reports me to a psychiatric professional, and I'm wrongfully institutionalized? A lot of people in America want to kill members of the opposite political party. That's literally one of the main reasons Trump got elected. If we pathologize that viewpoint, then half the country would be considered mentally ill.

The stated intent of this software sounds good, but there are a lot of opportunities for self-righteous moral busybodies to expand the scope into things that they have no business prying into. I can easily see this becoming subject to scope creep so that leftoid executives and HR staff can persecute rightoids for perfectly valid and common political viewpoints, such as "my political enemies are evil filth who deserve to die."

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Your pulitzer's in the mail

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![](/images/16542510594028404.webp)

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I agree with them, companies shouldn’t have rights. Too many zombie companies, a Fed Chair with balls would kill them off.

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This only proves that I'm not MDEfugee, downie, autist, or any other labels you cucks try to put on me. I'm my own party, army and a movement. I'm an independent, thinking, rational person unlike you dumb sheep.

Snapshots:

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I don't like the tone of this autodrama post, where can I contact the creator and complain? It called me a lolcow I think.

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!blackjack500

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!blackjack2500

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!blackjack100

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A company failing has far more impact than a person failing. Companies should have more rights.

Based and corporate personhood-pilled

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patterns in posts to public channels by employees "Jim" and "Brenda" indicates with 69% certainty that they are involved in a private conversation during company hours.

:!#marppy:

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Dont say stupid shit on company computers. Problem solved.

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