So I just got off of a video call with a C level executive who wishes to hire me for a lucrative managerial position in a field I haven't really ever worked in before. He asked me for a salary number so I threw one out there and then told me to ask for much higher during my second interview. So I'm obviously ecstatic about how it went and with his blessings, I most likely have the job. But now I have to send a goddarn cover letter with my resume/CV. I absolutely hate writing cover letters because being the most humble person any of you have ever known, I don't like to write about myself that much. I know I'm gonna write it by today but I still don't want to.
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Congrats, sweaty
Have a celebratory glass of bourbon, get on your high horse, and let your inner smuggy come out
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Can't celebrate yet.
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Pretend you are writing about someone else.
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Good idea. Hodor is a pretty great guy and with his technical and managerial skills, he would be a force multiplier in a company that mirrors his efficiency and drive for excellence.
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Write it in schizostory format:
>Be hodorthedoorholder
>Be a great gay
>Have excellent technical skills
>Have excellent managerial skills
>Be a force multiplier
>Be very efficient
>Be driven to excellence
>Write cover letter in schizostory format
>Hire Hodor (hh)
True story (
)
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If only the whole world was like you
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Not sentient!
@grizzly are for upsorens and schizoposting, not rugmaking 
Also congrats hodor
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They dont read them
Source: I wrote BIPOC on one and still got the job
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Yep. Even if someone does read it, it won't have any real impact on whether or not you get the job if you already have an interview. At that point, HR isn't making any hiring decisions - they'll just execute whatever decision management tells them ("hire this guy" or "don't hire this guy"), and the C-level exec isn't reading it.
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Sentient
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Hire a pro tip from a guy who spend doing cover letter a semester in English class: Photoshop your self to look like giga a Chad.
HR workers are 99% holes and they donβt read 99% of letters they get a to get her hole attention you need to look like Chad. Thatβs literally how I got a job to a pal of me. He technically asked me to send some cvβs for him so he could keep receiving neetbux. And one hole at HR was so interested in him that when he didnβt pick the phone, she called the neetbux center and told that she wants him to work at her place and they gladly kicked him out of the neetbux
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You spent an entire semester on cover letter writing? Have you thought about taking your university to court for wasting your money?
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It was just English lesson and fun part was that same semester we had a workplace psychology lessons and that lesson was basically saying how cover laters are useless and nobody looks at them and take them seriously so we listened for 2 hours how useless cover letters are then we went to business English and the teacher was telling us for a whole hour how important cover letters are π
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Remember to donate a part of that money to rDrama
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Maybe Iβll become a $5 paypig
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I was like you but then I needed a job urgently enough to write 100 cover letters, now I appreciate the opportunity to land on top of the resume stack
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I once forgot to change the company name in one of the sentences in my cover letter when applying to a big pharma company. Still got the interview lol.
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Just outsource that shit. I paid some gal with bachelors in english to write me a fancy resume, some templated cover letters, and trick out my linkedin profile for the paltry sum of $300.
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tfw engineeringchad who never has to write cover letters
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Then donβt.
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Now I'm going to.
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Ok
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Itβs excruciating. I had to do some mass mailing and once i made one i could live with i would just swap out the company name.
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Deal with it, they're one of the first things employers look at it because it's one of the best ways to get a good judge of the person. Just don't make it long. Most don't read past two paragraphs
I know what you mean though, I've always hated job interviews because I feel like a cocky b-word and no one likes a cocky b-word
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