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  • collectijism : Millennia of the chud is here https://www.bitchute.com/video/8NY2GS3B6aGL/

TheOnion is melting down on twitter

https://twitter.com/theonion

All posted in succession

![](/images/16561196170590127.webp)

121
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Frick I remember the good old days when the Onion was centrist and funny.

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'Supreme court votes to throw beer bottle at slut' is pretty funny as a concept but you know it comes from a place of seeth not humor so that ruins it

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The seethe makes it funnier. I'm imagining some intern sitting at their desk raging at the ruling and sending out 50 tweets on the company account.

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Not even I still laughed lol

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Agrizzled.

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Peter "Buck" McGowan

:marseytariq:

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Univision acquisition killed them

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Why do companies keep selling out all the time.

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$

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Clinton money lol, Univision bought it to support her campaign.

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Money well spent :marseylaugh:

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Today Now! & Beyond the Facts were absolutely hilarious

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They got a bit too cocky after the "No Way To Prevent This" mass shooting bit

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they fired everybody who was funny

im not kidding

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Satirebros... we got too cocky... :marseyitsover:

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Some of that shit is clever but they've been down a Queen and a Rook since all the talented people left in 2013. And I just assume they've been hiring women (death for comedy, possibly because the neurodivergent males that can actually write comedy can't speak with women present. That's not a TV comedy joke, these men are pathetic.)

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![](/images/16561196809439735.webp)

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"Vessel for male sexual gratification".

New slur for biofoid detected, thanks Onion!

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All jokes aside that women is legitimately strange looking lol

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Trans Adam Lanza

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It would be funny if it was intended as a parody of "birthing persons" or "uterus-havers" but I don't think it was

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Their headlines are occasionally funny but articles are tedious, unfunny BS. It’s been like that for a while.

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I think that's an online comedy article thing in general. Same problem with the Babylon Bee, the articles are usually just restating the headline joke in neurodivergent detail. I'm guessing the business model just rewards clicks on the headline, the actual article is irrelevant.

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The Hard Times occasionally has funny 1/2 paragraph articles but anything longer than that sucks.

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>pro killing babies

>pro eugenics

>anti women's rights

Guess I was born in le wrong generation

![](https://media.giphy.com/media/mXNSHRrpAPaYefBfmy/giphy.webp)

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Wasn't it a 6-3 vote?

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6-3 to preserve the Mississippi law, 5-4 to completely overrule Roe. I've seen it notated as 5-1-3.

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Roberts is a drama fearing kitty. Clarence Thomas went full chad and said that the supreme court should also overturn contraception, same-s*x marriage rulings

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Roberts generally is deemed to worry about shit like the respectability of the court so he's deemed to go against rulings that can be inferred as party partisan. Of course going against a ruling you agree with to avoid being seen as partisan and political is still partisan and political to me so idk.

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but stopped short of overturning Loving for some reason :marseyhmm:

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Loving was a violation of equal protection clause so it's not really applicable.

Thomas was railing against the broad interpretation of the due process clause which has resulted in several invented constitutional rights protections such as privacy & abortion.

Lawrence: The court in Lawrence v. Texas explicitly held that intimate consensual sexual conduct was part of the liberty protected by the substantive due process under the Fourteenth Amendment

Obergefell: Writing for the majority, Justice Anthony Kennedy asserted that the right to marry is a fundamental right β€œinherent in the liberty of the person” and is therefore protected by the due process clause of the Fourteenth Amendment

Griswold: By a vote of 7–2, the Supreme Court invalidated the law on the grounds that it violated the "right to marital privacy", establishing the basis for the right to privacy

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Most of those are pretty funny. Dumping them all at once isn't though.

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Holy sneed Batman

:marseylaugh::marseydicklet::marseyxd::marseyobamacope::marseyemojirofl:

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Aren't they supposed to be funny? Guess that's the Bee's job, now.

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and obviously the very based and redpilled sir stonetoss

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:#marseytrollcrazy:

Snapshots:

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Did they decided to release all of the quips at once? It would have been funny, if they only released one of them.

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None of these are funny though

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Funny titles tho

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bleak


Secured my spot as a top 100 most memorable rdrama poster

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Supreme Court Votes 5-4 To Drive Slowly Alongside Woman Walking Home Alone At Night

Based.

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That made me laff

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>dump it

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These are unironically funny even though I know they come from a place of overwhelming sneed.

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based SCROTUS

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>Supreme Court Voted 5-4 To Make It Illegal For Women To Deceive Men With Makeup

Based

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The service animals one is pretty funny

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that's the best laugh i've had today. I'm sure you care and I'm happy about that

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