Is it dishonest to stay in the closet until after your homophobic grandma dies because she’s paying your college tuition?

Full of paragraphs of arguing

Technically, it’s lying by omission if it’s 100% certain that she would have stopped paying if she found out you’re gay.

But, darn. I really love the idea of having to make some kind of financial contribution to someone queer if you’re homophobic. Tax the homophobes!

I think you made the right choices overall, and as a queer person, I think we need every advantage we can possibly get in life. The deck of life is stacked against us by default in some ways. The dishonesty here allowed you to get a degree (Congrats on graduating!) but it also allowed your grandma to live out her bullshit heteronormative expectations, and it doesn’t seem like she was hurting for money. In my experience, the older people are, the harder it is for them to shift their worldviews. You probably wouldn’t have had time for grandma to unpack her homophobia and be more progressive with enough time left over to get a degree.

PS - To the people using the phrase “s*x life”, as in “your s*x life shouldn’t determine whether someone supports you, it’s none of their business”, I agree with the sentiment. However, please be mindful of the asexual community, and maybe change up some wording. There are queer people who don’t necessarily have s*x, and defining homosexuality entirely by people you’re sexually attracted or who you have s*x with excludes our ace friends at minimum.

What an edit