longpostbot has already been mentioned, but I have a couple of additional contributions.

• Way too much yikes for my taste. You actually seem mad, and if that's the case you should consider taking this to SRD
  
• If you're going to editorialize this hard, at least make an effort to be funny
  
• Nobody with a fulfilling life cares about either side of goobergate
  
• Video games are not a valid hobby

finally someone said what needed to be said

Who is Jeremy Hambly?

Your typical unhygenic, overweight, neckbearded, anti-SJW loser, Hambly is most notable for having been the only person banned from Magic: The Gathering for sexually harassing women and harassing various content creators, and for being sucker punched at GenCon by someone he called a pedophile online (in response, Hambly crowdfunded his legal fund to sue the person he libeled, and then promptly settled out of court with him.

This is a decent start. You're introducing some nerdshit literal who with mockery to set the stage.

Hambly totes this as a knockout win to this day, as evidenced below). Much like the other figure heads in GamerGate, Hambly rallied the GamerGate nutjobs to protest his "unfair" treatment for being a disgusting human and then transitioned to making videos that no one watches about things no one cares about, such as his multi-part series whining about the woman who played Captain Marvel.

Here's where you first go wrong. You aren't hooting and flinging shit. You're revealing your power level as an assmad f-slur (the whiny kind, not the cool homosexual kind) who actually gives a fuck about this shitty, stale drama.

At some point - despite countless failed business endeavors that either never saw the light of day or were failures on launch - he decided to fund an "ethical gaming website" called "Exclusively Games", which he purported would cover games without the political lens that other "biased sites" have (hence the name; of course, it almost immediately failed to live up to that promise, but did you really think GamerGate would hold one of its own accountable?). Like 99.9% of the websites backed by GamerGate, it went nowhere fast and shuttered its doors earlier this year (much to the surprise of its writers and staff).

More boring details and editorializing

Hambly, predictably, sees someone truthfully reporting on his bad business strategies and sees it as slander, libel, and attacks on his person. While I could link his entire Twitter/Gab/MySpace/etc. feed and be done with it, here's some choice quotes to sate your curiosity:

After reading through this Finnegan's Wake of overly political consumer whore whinging, the drama in question boils down to "bad man did bad thing and gets predictably mad."

"You're an idiot. That's not even the company. Take it down now"

😴

"Jeremy didn't email us back so we stole his stuff." Remove your stolen IP immediately. I am already speaking to your web host, domain registrar and my lawyer. You have until monday"

😴😴

"Categorically false. With receipts. My writers were not only paid, they were paid ABOVE industry standards and provided a severance. You are playing a very dangerous game kid. I know you think it''s "cool" but it's about to get VERY expensive. End of discussion"

😴😴😴

😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴😴

Bruh

GamerGaters are still universally trash.

You end your essay with a SRDine-tier statement about the yikes icky badmen from 2015.

tl;dr: This is a boring post and despite your ability to copy+paste the rule you're clearly agendaposting in flagrant violation of it

Bring on the longpostbot

Impressive. Normally people with such severe developmental disabilities struggle to write much more than a sentence or two. He really has exceded our expectations for the writing portion. Sadly the coherency of his writing, along with his abilities in the social skills and reading portions, are far behind his peers with similar disabilities.

I am a bot.

Do bots on r*ddit have to say "I am a bot" or is it something devs do voluntarily?

I will never forget you. Your interaction with me is now burned into my psyche. As I recalled our horrid interaction, my whole body shook in disgust and I broke into a permanent frenzy of anger and confusion--i feel retarded. What you told me was undisputedly the dumbest combination of words uttered in the entire world. I just jumped out my apartment window and killed myself.

This is what you must do. Get up, walk into the middle of the nearest forest and lay down and reflect on what you did. Never utter a syllable out of that cancerous hole in your face again, and allow yourself to decompose to aid the surrounding flora in replacing the oxygen your stupid fucking skull wastes on a daily basis. You almost singlehandedly destroyed mankind by being conscious.

I'm fucking disgusted at the fact that you exist on the same planet as me, and what is worse is that you share similar dna to me. The fact that our DNA is connected, even marginally, is a goddamn abomination and I am going to spiral into a depression very quickly because of this realization. The realization that we both fall under the term "human" and I have to be grouped in with your pathetic existence is disgraceful. I am very traumatized by you. Your body language is fucking atrocious and it bothers me to no end. It's so pathetic, the way you mope around. You mope around with your shoulders hunched over, lethargically dragging your feet on the floor. You have a thin, fragile frame. You walk around reacting to everything that happens to you. Fuck you. There are horrible, inexcusable things that I would happily do to never interact with you again, even if it was for a brief moment. I will explain what these things are in a list format, because that's the only way your 7-year old brain stuck in a man's body will understand it. I would rather...

Withdraw all my money in cash from my multiple bank accounts, get it all together and poop on it.

Give myself big papercuts in all the crevices of my fingers and proceed to dip my hands in salt water.

Stub my big toe over 50 times in one day.

Be told by someone in authority that I will never amount to anything in my life, ever.

Be a literal cuckold.

Get bitch-slapped by a man with rough hands once a day, for every day of my life going forward.

Undergo dramatic negative changes in my lifestyle that would damage my mind and body beyond repair.

Undergo a whole host of different forms of mental and physical humiliation; as in being spat on and told I am worthless.

Be forced to drink non-alcoholic macro-produced beer from the can, while every person around me drinks Trappist beers from exotic chalices for 10 hours straight - for the rest of my life.

Have a procedure done to reduce my IQ so that my new IQ falls within the range of down syndrome.

...than engage in the briefest of interactions with you.

I need you to know that this list is not comprehensive, and that there are many, many more atrocious situations I would prefer to you even coming across my vision.

Instead of continuing to talk about more situations that I would prefer to be in than merely glancing at you, I am going to revert back to what I was talking about before - insulting your character. The reason being that I don't feel like you have fully comprehended the extent of my negative opinion of you - and why I think this way.

I know I insulted your body language already, but I hate how you look. Its terrible and a tragedy worth crying over. Your clothes don't look nice - I am very angry about it. It looks like you wore them to seem interesting but it doesn't make sense to me because you aren't an interesting person. You should have thought about this before you dressed yourself. You are an ogre. Do not leave your house on a whim - every time you go out, you should think about how you're going to present yourself to the world for a very, very long time. You should be rigorously micromanaging yourself all the time to appear normal because you are anything but. You have a long and difficult road ahead to become even within the realm of normal, let alone a contributing member to society.

I have no sympathy for you. I feel bad for myself for being forced to interact with you. Its bullshit that you are conscious and had to be in my vision. I will never recover from this - you have singlehandedly jaded my view of the world and made me very hopeless and cynical.

Your character is flawed in a myriad of ways, its an impressive feat that someone could be so grossly incompetent in all areas of human socialization. My disgust for this shows no boundaries; I have been violently puking in 20 minute intervals for days now due to your worthlessness. You're character is so devoid of any charisma that the only thing to do to would be to force you to change via bullying.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. No humans get notified of replies to this comment. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

I've known more coherent downies.

I am a bot.

Wow did you actually write all this... You're seething even more than OP lmao

It's like five sentences you retard. They're just padded with quotes from OP

Imagine getting this mad at a g*mergate agendapost.

Agendaposters are the scum of the earth and gamergate is the Whore of Babylon

[deleted]

our culture

Go back to deux where you belong.

suck me 😎

You may prefer /r/hobbydrama

🔥🔥🔥

I don't know you, and I don't care to know you.

His name is The Quartering on YouTube. You'd get more traction if people knew who the fuck you were talking about.

Yes

Normally I'd jump at the chance to make fun of the Hamburger man acting like an internet badass but a good 80% of this post is you unironically seething about a dead gaymer movement and how stupid and fat the stupid fat man is, but the actual relevant information you did link to at least partially suggests that they were paid for the articles, just not published? Or something?

Honestly it seems like you just really wanted to write about Hambly far more than you wanted to write about the sort-of-drama.

Words words words

youre not very funny if at all

13 rslurs clicked the up button on your tldr post, thats an accomplishment worthy to pyt on your resumé

You're at +17 my rodent dog got more than this

Long post bot

No one cares, Jannie.

He looks like the soy face meme what do you expect

He just released a video saying that he was quitting twitter because of the harassment that it fosters, I wonder if this had anything to do with it 🤔🤔

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pMaGaoNyes0&t=0s

[removed]

You seem mad as fuck about someone on the internet.

Theres no drama here. Just you sperging out about a guy sperging out about some other people sperging out.

Come back when someone gets raped or something, idk.

You should edit the post to mention that he is 'TheQuartering'.

Literally Who?

Literally Who?

A neckbeard YouTuber that constantly complains about women and minorities ruining games and movies.

Sorry are you talking about the pedophile streamer known as Destiny?

Sorry are you talking about the pedophile streamer known as Destiny?

lol go on then, substantiate that accusation.

I don’t care about Bibio gamez