MRW

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Honor among shoplifters. Hue.

I was going to ping the OP and tell them to literally kill themselves until I saw it was you. Excellent b8 my man

swim

I

You fucked up OP, that will be used against you in court rip

Seriously why do people bother with "swim"

Do you pay him with blow jobs?

Wtf Jews don't take sexual favors as a replacement for currency. It's either money or I laugh while clasping and running my hands

But ultrashitpost doesn't have any money.

[laughs maniacally while clasping and rubbing hands]

Now you can take his valuable real estate and rent it out at higher than market price.

Well you know how a rabbi gets paid for performing circumcision?

They get to keep the tip.

Yeah, and according to the geniuses in the linked thread, the charge could be kidnapping. This is serious shit.

catastrophic mistake.

puntential surely

pun-potential

literally kill yourself

it won't be in most <not sure about all> states, it will be grand theft, especially if the cat is young, and thus, expensive

The correct term is kittennap.

there is a difference between illegal and immoral. The sooner you learn that the sooner we can overthrow the government.

/u/good_guy_bad, get right on that. You and the rest of the TumblrTeens are gonna bring us down any day now.

BREAKING NEWS: The theft of a medium-size crisps bag leads to national revolution, more at 11

Imagine a bunch of cumskins went around stealing niggers weave. We'd finally have an excuse to end the oreos.

crisps

fucking limey doesn't remember when we threw his tea into the ocean

I'm not even a 'bong, I just recognise the superior form of British-English :^)

/u/good_guy_bad , question. Due to your history of theft, what if I was kinda broke so I pawned all your shit and called you a AIDS infected shit stained autist while doing so? Would I be morally justified?

I would call my insurance company and get new/upgrades on everything and laugh at how little you are getting pawning since you obviously don't know how to make money stealing. That said, you wouldn't steal my shit because you don't know how to steal. I would tell you to get lost.

As for the AIDS and the rest, its not accurate but you can say what you want to say. Morally justified to steal from me? Yeah its cool I'm not exactly a great person or a single mom etc... Good luck lol You're going to need it.

I think I can beat up a 16 year old.

the average 16 year old? I would hope. I'm not 16 though. Not even close.

14?

Thats not even a logical progression based on what I said. Over 20

Let me put things in your butt & you can have him

This guy's /r/drama material.

bait - > "lol look at how I triggered these cucks" posts suck tho

Huh, maybe you have a redeeming quality after all

What do you call yourself then when you're sitting in a corner while your wife's trying to fit a huge gorilla dick inside of her?

Is that why you're so sad?

You clearly have some other sadness in your life. Were you molested as a child?

Was it just genitals or butt stuff too?

Some form of genital touched your anus, or the other way around?

Gorillas have extremely small dicks

I love a good riddle.

Answer: A corner porner primate pounder perceiving connoisseur

Wow.

Surley a rare breed will get you more than $50?

He's a cripple though.

You'll get at least $80 easy down in Chinatown

/u/polarpawz

please contain your autism

Stealing someone's cat could be considered under animal abuse and cruelty which is a felony, theft of personal property, even kidnapping if you find the right lawyer.

Stealing a cat, by itself, is only theft of property. Animals are only considered property. Even if OP stole the cat, then took it to a vet, and had the vet put the cat down, the most the original owner could get would be the cost of the cat.

Even if OP stole the cat, then took it to a vet, and had the vet put the cat down, the most the original owner could get would be some $$ for the cat.

Basically what keeps PETA going.

They might be able to get animal cruelty, but the OP would have to seriously mistreat or injure the cat. Just taking it isn't animal cruelty.

. Animals are only considered property.

So are Muslim women.

Well OP good job, you found the one thing /r/shoplifting won't steal.

They won't steal a job.

Brutal.

Not illegals confirmed.

nope they stole a stealing job from some other person

Wow they are really upset about stealing over there. Must be an ironically named sub

Thieves love stealing from people but will absolutely freak out if it happens to them. I once worked with a guy who was proud of stealing pot plants but then went on the warpath when someone stole his later on.

Good drama. It's funny when the degens there try and pull the moral superiority card.

&gt;tell that to the judge

Fuck the judge and fuck you.

I hope you get curb stomped and your shop burns down.

Lol

You can't shoplift if the shop has burned down, dumbass.

there is a difference between illegal and immoral There is a difference between them yes, some things that are legal are immoral, and some things that are mandatory are immoral as well. Following the law however, is morally important, as a supreme, folllowed, law is ultimately more beneficial to a society than an unfollowed, absolutely moral law. A society that doesn't follow law does not grow, it does not progress, it regresses into distrust and strength based hierarchy

tl;dr

Yeah but I also don't like being systemized and my own gratification is more important to me than the growth and health of humanity as a whole no /s

Shoplifting is immoral as well on top of being illegal, the people in that sub just use mental gymnastics to prevent themselves from feeling like terrible people.

Fuck the judge and fuck you. I hope you get curb stomped and your shop burns down

Attention fellas, we have found the badass of that forum.

i'd have thought /u/-unclerapey- would be in favour of stealing pussy

I want a Maine Coon, those cats are fucking awesome.

You can have mine, she fucking sucks

Have you tried turning her off and back on again?

i just took that picture from reddit. This entire thread is a lie

Oops, he lied. No drama.

It's just drama bait, OP is OP of both threads.

That said, it's always fun to see /r/Shoplifting try to pull moral superiority.

Oh shit, OP lied? That bastard!

Right? Chinese restaurants need produce. That's understandable. Lying on the internet is just a worse act than Hitler committing genocide.

Op was this really an elaborate troll? Because if so, you really take the cake.

you dont steal people's pets. Thats wrong.

So is shoplifting.

Just too good mate. Too good.

OP there is OP here.

Yes, that is why I am asking him is this was an elaborate troll.

But it's why you shouldn't be asking

This but ironically

That cat is pretty adorable though

I'd steal him

Well, that was easy.

I must look at way too many cat photos because I recognize the pic and its obviously not a Maine coon. But if your main thing in life is shoplifting how smart can you be

giant M on forehead

That is a Maine Coon

Lol I would grab that pussy 4 sure

Cat meat is p delicious.

As the original owner of that cat, i can assure everyone that he hasn't been stolen. OP probably took that picture of this thread.

Tony does indeed have a limp, and it's true that he's probably a Maine Coon or a hybrid with MC blood in him; we don't know that for sure, because he's a former stray cat with no pedigree or background. The only thing we know is that he used to live on the street and that he's about 4 years old.

He's such a cutie, give him a hug for me pls

I did, he's currently sleeping on my lap.

He's probably the best cat i've ever had.

Only one John wick reference in that thread. Burn that sub to the ground.

Fake manufactured drama. OP needs to kys