Here's the thing. You said a "trilby is a fedora."

Snapshots:

1. This Post - archive.org, megalodon.jp*, archive.is*

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On point

lol

this'll end well

I don't even know what to write back. What I do know is that I've never screencapped something so fast in my fucking life.

bait him you whore

disappoint me and enjoy your permaban

Your wish is my command daddy

verdict pending

Well you sure squandered that opportunity

"Logging out forever now"

user reports:

1: Admins please ban this person for harassment. Thanks.

I hope that was really him lol

Couldn't have been - he's extremely Internet literate, after all.

Die on the hill bitch.

Barbados Slim?

I think that comment is hilarious.

Print out the message, cum on it and take a picture

what is this even about?

Who is the girlfriend?

It's already over. We don't have any case law.

See https://i.imgur.com/dFY4sZh.png

You should have pulled a Saul Goodman and wrote that on the wooden part of a legal pad and some toilet paper.

/u/throwawayboyfriend09

Your name is relevant because your GF should clearly toss you to the curb for that embrassment.

Wait... he knows better than to feed the children?

Isn't feeding children a good, honorable and noble thing?

FACT: u/throwawayboyfriend09 doesn't feed his children

Quick ring cps

the only thing children need is sarin gas.

Assad did nothing wrong!

I'll join /u/throwawayboyfriend09 you and you're girlfriend have trump's thin skin huh? Show up or shut up.

Well only a total fucking retard would spill dissonance as "dissodance."

So you know what to do... Scour her entire post history for a single occurrence of that word and use it as proof that she created a new account pretending to be her own boyfriend

Scour her entire post history for a single occurrence of that word and use it as proof that she created a new account pretending to be her own boyfriend

Does this really need evidence, though? Like, there wasn't enough evidence to convict OJ, but we still all know he killed that mayo.

Look man I don't give a fuck what you do. It was a marginally better suggestion then respond "new phone who dis" like a fucking aspie retard

like a fucking aspie retard

You knew who I was

there wasn't enough evidence to convict OJ

hahaha

If the autism doesn't fit, you must acquit!

p sure this is that dedotated wam kid

...a total fucking retard would SPILL...

Everybody do the disso-dance!

Is this about /u/gingerbiscuit?

Is this about /u/gingerbizcuit?

Probably her. If not her, /u/RagingFuckalot

Nah, not me. But good to see you doing your daily mentions of me.

just fuck already

So tsundere.

Nah, not me.

Oh okay I'll take your word for it.

But good to see you doing your daily mentions of me.

I do not mention you "daily." That does, however, sound like something someone who's pissed about being mentioned at all would say.

Tell me more

Post bf's bepis

and bussy

NOW KISS

Why don't you mention her everyday? That is rude not to

He really likes anal. Good news is that he only likes receiving it. Bigger, the better.

Who doesnt tbh

Certainly true man. Everyone needs a good and deep fucking every once in a while.

would you rate my bussy if I showed you a pic?

We miss you!

you gotta stop doing that bro

Decent copypasta potential.

I want a shirt that says "I'm extremely internet literate"

Wasn't too hard to find, here you go.

Psssh. I already own that shirt, duh.

Aw shit, I gotta up my doxx hax0rz skills then.

I am extremely internet literate and I know how cringeworthy it is when people make threats like this.

Evidently not.

holy shit an unironic "delet this"

So wait am I still the best man at your wedding?

I don't know but the bachelor party is still on. D&D and Mountain Dew Code Red at my mom's house, here we come!

And I wasn't invited?! I wanted to play my new warlock!

/u/throwawayboyfriend09,

I saw your little PM. You sure this is the hill you want to die on? Enjoy digging your own grave. Unlike you, I'm not a moron, I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and Ive been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I will be pursuing you with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth. Logging out now...you're fucking dead, kiddo.

Well done. Truly.

This guy is like a real life version of the Navy Seal pasta.

Wow you must have really got in her head. She probably thinks about you while she lies there like a starfish and /u/throwawayboyfriend09 pumps away furiously, never noticing that bored, far off look.

/u/throwawayboyfriend09 don't speak for your girlfriend like you're her father you fucking misogynist cunt. What, she can't speak for herself? You think she needs a big strong man who needs to stand up and fight her battles for her because she's too weak to handle reddit comments from strangers? I mean, literally the only reason that you would send this message is because you think that you are more capable of dealing with whatever dumb shit happened than see is. Delete yourself.

His girlfriend /u/gingerbizcuit has talked about what an arrogant misogynist he is before.

PREACH

An even sadder possibility is it's an alt she herself made to scare sperg (my internet forensic skillz make the writing seem a little too feminine)...I'm hoping it's just an asshole boyfriend and not the seriously pathetic alternative.

Could be, but she did say her man is a white boy which would explain the femininity.

Uh what if she's a cripple way to assume snally

Why are you all paging /u/throwawayboyfriend when you could just page /u/sperglordalan seeing as he's the one that made the account?

Shh he doesn't know he is mentally ill and sent the message

BALEETED

Hey /u/throwawayboyfriend09, how is that strap-on she uses on you. A little too small, just right? So how does it feel being a white knight for someone that looks older than my girlfriend? My girlfriend is 41 by the way and she looks like she's 45. I put my girlfriend through a lot of shit. Do you eat your girlfriend's shit? Nothing gets women in the mood like good old scat eating. When she gives you a Cleveland steamer do you like rubbing it or do you let it sit in one piece?

All right guys, I'll fess up.

This was just me having a little fun. I found his obsession with that GingerBizcuit broad rather hilarious and decided to do a little impersonation. Nothing I haven't done before.

Merry Christmas.

Kys with that 9mm

what 9mm?

The one he said he'd murder jewdank with

So I guess you're not really noodles

I don't remember the full details of my riemann impersonation, it was a couple of months ago.

that being said I'll msg you on discord to prove it's me. are you on the movie night server?

No

Is this actually you noodles? What was the clone account you made of me the other day?

Noodles wouldn't admit to being noodles until after it's become obvious to everyone/he's been banned again.

sup

arf

Dude you need to quit fucking snap chatting mckenna. Stop. She doesn't respond with anything meaningful for a reason and she's not interested in you. Who am I? The man whom she is in love with. She already told me not to worry, she's not interested in you. Sorry I bothered you kid. I've dated her since 2 summers ago. If you aren't trying to get at my woman or being inappropriate I don't care if you snap her occasionally. Just don't try anything man. You'll embarrass yourself and anger me. We are in love and we're making love tomorrow. So if you have any ill intentions with my woman you can forget it right now. I'm the biggest and best she's ever had, only man she's ever loved and the only man who could truly satisfy her physically. You will never have her. And she loves me. I don't have any problems with you if you are over my woman and realize you will never be with or touch her again. I apologize for coming off as a dick, just me and kenna are really deep in love and we've been through a lot and I just moved back home and it makes me a little jealous and angry to see a man she used to date before me is snap chatting her.... We don't need any extra bullshit or drama right now, so don't bring us any please is all I ask friend. If you try to talk to her any way but as a brother, or you try to see her at all, if she tells me you do anything inappropriate or anything outside of what a strict brother like friend would do,we are going to have a huge problem. I will leave you alone now dude if you're not trying to get at the woman who I love and whom is in love with me. That entire summer she was with me. She left kyle for me. She's been with me ever since, she even loved me and made love to me before she EVER let anything happen with you. You didn't please her. She didn't have strong feelings for you at all. And she immediately ended shit with you for me once she knew I loved her too. So get any ideas of the past out of your head. None of this truth should bug you if you're over her but I'm just making sure. I hate when my baby's friends have ill intentions and she thinks they are just friends and have no alternative motive. But idk if I trust you at all. If I can trust you to not stress me and my baby or fuck with our love tell me. I will leave you alone and apologize. But if you aren't over her and you're tryna "get some" or you're tryna get back in her life, it's NOT HAPPENING. She said you were nothing to her, and the sex was bad anyway haha. You're small and weak and she said it all felt wrong after being with me. She's been with me ever since. We're in love. And tomorrow me and her will be together in my room making love alll day how we always have together. If you have a problem speak up like a man or tell me our love doesn't bug you and I'll apologize, it's simple. So??? What is it? You are after my woman then huh?! Tell me the fucking truth man. Don't you dare be disrespectful and gross enough to bring it up, but if if you ask her about anything she shared with me about your weak ass, she may be nice and lie to you, or she may not care and tell you the truth. Either way. I'm her soullmate and her boyfriend of the past two years almost. And she tells me everything and NEVER lies to me. I don't care haha. Just stay away from my kenna. I sincerely apologize if you have no ill intentions and aren't trying to make moves with my woman. And i respect you as a guy in the service. I'm sure you're an ok dude. But just as a friend. You're nothing to my kenna but a brother like friend. I just wanna be sure you know it and don't forget it. Find a nice classy woman where you are stationed, marry her.... But back off of mine. You will never even compare to me in her eyes. Not even close haha.I just don't need you interfering with me and kenna's love. It's our lives man. It's really not cool.... Goodbye man, good luck. Respect to you being in the service. Sorry to bring your day down with my crazy bullshit but. Me and kenna are head over heels.... I can't help but be crazy about her. I love her with all of my heart and I will protect her from her untrustworthy fake friends. Not saying you are one. But you're dodging telling me what's going on in your head so I'm questioning a lot right now. Just know I'm never gonna hurt her, I'm always going to have her back, I'd give my life for her without hesitation, and I will protect her from anything, everything, and anyone. She is the love of my life. I fully intend to marry and give kenna my children. And we've talked a lot about it. Just don't make shit harder than it already is. I just moved back and me and her miss eachother so badly and we are FINALLY go to see eachother tomorrow and make love for the first time since halloween.... I hope you don't hate me man. I'm a good dude. Just protective of the woman who holds my heart. And who's heart I hold and must protect. I hope you can understand. She promised me there's nothing at all to worry about with you and that she's not interested:"/ I wish I knew before I embarrassingly went off on you. I'm so sorry man. I'm sorry. Please don't mention this to my baby:/ I'm really embarrassed and while she will understand, I just feel like an ass for attacking you when you have nothing with my kenna and no intention to. Good bye brother. I hope you find your one true love someday. It'll make you crazy, trust me, but you'll find her one day. I found mine when I was really young. And it's my kenna :)

Actually trying to read that pasta is surprisingly difficult.

Where is this stank pasta from?

That's almost enough words to feed a Markov model copy pasta generator.

• Works really hard

• Uses reddit to unwind and chat with likeminded people

???

lel whajew even do

This is definitely over /u/gingerbizcuit. Looks like you mentioned her shortly beforehand and she had previously referred to her boyfriend as an unfunny, mediocre, small-dicked white man in previous drama.

And, seeing as thats the whitest message I've ever read, this has to be him.

IN RE: DRA-0001 PARTIAL DENIAL OF CLAIMS

/u/throwawayboyfriend09, Now I may not be a fancy big city kawayer, but I know thats not how a cease and desist letter works. PMs on reddit are not actual legal documents

Good day sir.

I got ur back /u/sperglordalan

lol she has no boyfriend. It's just an alt to make her feel less lonely.

Lol what a faggot

cognitive dissodance

the funkiest jive known to man