I think your mom takes most of the compliments before others even open their mouths to take them. Maybe even taking taking take take taking take complements right out of their mouths.
Wasn't there that post on /r/SRSDiscussion where a wizard talked about not watching porn since it's problematic but instead jerking it to known girls on his FB?
Boy, what a sexist. If you want to be a basically decent human being (rather than gross trashtm that can be legally executed) then you're only alowed to spank it to to ethical porn.
What is ethical porn you may ask? It's simple! Here's how it works:
An independent performer registers their contact info on a federally regulated Ethical Porn registry (the government must be involved to ensure that sex slavery isn't occurring)
A potential porn viewer registers for the ethical porn gateway at porn.gov using their social security number, or logs in using their existing account
The porn viewer is matched at random with a porn performer as their Ethical Porn Provider (EPP) - EPPs do not have a photo visible on porn.gov, otherwise the viewer may be able to, problematically, masturbate to the EPP performer without their consent.
The porn viewer fills out the easily downloadable 890-231 form (non-problematic request for pornographic materials), prints it out, and mails it in to the local chapter of the federal department of diversity, equality, and subaltern studies.
5-241. ... more steps here ...
The porn viewer lets go of his anger to realize that the real problem is his sexist entitlement to sexual release, to which he is not entitled. He comes to terms with the truth that the only way to rid himself of evil once and for all is to chop his dick off and become a xir.
I can't laugh at anything unless it's a reference to South Park or Rick and Morty. My brain doesn't like things with which it's not familiar. I watch the same movies over and over again, and I use a heavy blanket because too much physical sensation overstimulates me.
I'd thing 25 years would be far reaching enough. Time may see, if time could see. Time is relative, but adding light to the equation is incest. Heavy, isn't it.
The parent mentioned Social Security Number. Many people, including non-native speakers, may be unfamiliar with this word. Here is the definition:(Inbeta,bekind)
A government assigned number for people in the US under the Social Security System. Non US citizens can apply if they are temporary workers in the USA. Each number will be unique. [View More]
An independent performer registers their contact info on a federally regulated Ethical Porn registry (the government must be involved to ensure that sex slavery isn't occurring)
So here's the thing I was thinking about. When you jerk off, it's to a fantasy involving some sexually gratifying act. And jerking off is a sexually gratifying act, for most of those people the one they engage in most often (if not the only one).
So why not cut the unnecessary complications and start jerking off to yourself jerking off? According to my calculations it should start a positive feedback loop, giving you increasingly more sensual and erotic experience as your fantasies become hotter and hotter as your jerking off to them becomes more and more satisfying.
And of course it's 100% UNPROBLEMATIC, so since consent is sexy that adds to the satisfaction.
Women are beautiful in all shapes and sizes and by excluding them from the equation you are being misogynistic. The solution is to only jerk off when a woman gives you permission and never less or more than that.
The conversation went something like, "Hey, (blonde girl in HS i had a crush on), would you be offended if I masturbated to your FB pictures?" Her: "Ewww SmytheOrdo, that's weird! whispers to all her friends and giggles"
high school was quite a painful time for me socially,
Yes. Use one of the others in a sentence and see if it sounds better. Also change your username from something referencing Rick and Morty before you call out others for being underage. If anything, fap is old fashioned and outdated.
Yes. Use one of the others in a sentence and see if it sounds better.
"Jesus fucking Christ, Walt. Are you serious? My first combat jack!"
Doesn't sound good to me, but I suppose it's all subjective.
This is infinitely better than "Duhh hurr I'm going to fap and then upload some sick memes to /r/fffuuuuuuu"
The other guy said nothing even close to that, and didn't link any memes.he just used a verb you didn't like. Didn't like so much that you decided to both correct him and post a link to other options he should use in the future.
Toss, jack, wank, skeet, beat off, it doesn't matter. All are far superior choices than the lowly and primitive "fap".
IMO only skeet is superior. Not sure how wank, jack, toss or beat off are not just as tired as fao but eh, whatever. I'm not going to post any links to the definitive guide of which "memes" (slang verbs) are too tired and cringey to use anymore.
You can't change your username on Reddit. Maybe if you spent less time fapping to some sick memes you'd know that.
From a five day old friend to a three month old friend, it's called "deleteing your account and starting over." Of course if this is your first account, that explains a lot.
It was always a pathetic saying. Any reason to stop saying it is a good reason.
Getting bent out of shape over people using it is far more pathetic. In fact I was wondering if arguing the morality of fapping to someone's social media pictures was the most retarded thing I'd see today, but then you bizarrely latched on to OPs word choice and we have a new champion. But I couldn't let well enough alone, somI had to further argue it with you and snatch the Autist's Crown for myself. :^)
I find it really interesting that it is apparently fine to masturbate to a fantasy involving someone, but a picture is too much.
In my fantasy, I can make a person do anything. You'd think if we were going to have moral outrage it would be directed at me mentally dressing up my friends in naughty outfits, and making them say and do things. A picture actually constrains the fantasy somewhat because at least they get to pic what they're wearing.
lmao dude I just made you do the nastiest shit in my imagination. /u/jerkstorefranchisee did I break his trust? (He licked my asshole in my imagination)
I like how this vanilla bullshit is what people immediately think of when they're imagining "kinky and weird", like people who think wearing a leather corset and carrying a tiny riding crop is somehow heavy femdom.
If I had to choose between someone jerking off to my pictures or someone jerking off to an elaborate scat/torture/cannibalism fantasy involving me, I'd go for the pictures every time.
Thankfully nobody masturbates to me anyway so it's a moot point.
There's no way any of these people actually apply this shit to real life, right?
They all have printed masturbation release forms to give each other. Thankfully, they're all so goddamned ugly and riddled with Autism and anxiety that none of them will ever get in a position to actually use them.
These people are honestly so sexually repressed, it's depressing. I wouldn't be surprised to see one of them rape a women because they could no longer deal with the "truethink" SJW "grosscreepyewww" bullshit they believe in.
These people are old enough to have been in a gender studies class, but not old enough to have experienced real life. At least that's what I tell myself, in the hopes that they'll grow out of it.
I dated a full-blown SJW once and I can unfortunately say there ARE people out there who use their insane SJW problematic scale to monitor and modify their every thought and action.
It's some of the craziest most unhealthy shit. Never date an SJW kids. It's never worth it.
this is like the most retarded thread I've ever seen on Reddit.
Man, people in SRD always talked about "can alakazam consent" being the pinnacle of drama but who knew SRD would one day contort itself to produce an argument even more inhuman.
Hey /u/los_eros, I just want to let you know that Im a 3rd degree sapiosexual and being the enlightened soul you are, imma gonna have to whack it to your pearls of wisdom. In fact, im stringing them together as we speak.
Can someone please explain to me whatever turpitude exists in masturbating to old pictures of Emily Brontë and, separatelywhen that doesn't feel dirty enough, my old hot dead old cold gramma? I don't feel like any of my actions are wrong, but once again SRD is making me feel like I should talk to my priest
Please do this and tell us how it goes. Sounds like "when keeping it real goes wrong."
I did in high school.
The conversation went something like, "Hey, (blonde girl in HS i had a crush on), would you be offended if I masturbated to your FB pictures?" Her: "Ewww SmytheOrdo, that's weird! whispers to all her friends and giggles"
high school was quite a painful time for me socially,
/u/SmytheOrdo, how the fuck are you real and not a fake greentext?
u/DeadTrumps literally embracing the idea of thoughtcrimes while figuratively jerking it to the idea of the family of the 45th President of the United States of America dying.
Is that considered "morally problematic"?
I guess as long as he isn't using any "artifacts" it should be a-ok.
34 Do not assume that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn
‘A man against his father,
a daughter against her mother,
a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law.
36 A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household
Does anyone know the verse about Jesus criticising the hypocrites who pray in public? I would like to use it when virtue-signalling rears its ugly head in here.
lol. Instantly downvoted for discussing a major issue in the world. It's fine, you don't want to hear the truth. Have fun with your facebook porn. My wife and I are about spend a relaxing week at a 5 star hotel in Paris.
Someone here is campaigning awfully hard to become the poster child for /r/firstworldproblems. You make it sound like someone having a wank while looking at your over-inflated ass is on the same level as climate change, starving kids in the third world, the ongoing political crisis between Israelis and Palestinians, or Kim Jong Un compensating for his teeny cheeny peeny with ballistic missiles. The only reason people should feel bad for downvoting you is that you're a LOLCOW, and downvoting LOLCOWs discourages their participation, which robs us of opportunities for drama.
Hey! I resemble this comment. I'll have you know that just because I said what I said, doesn't mean I mean what I said or didn't nor not. I say what I mean and it's mean to think I mean not what I say. Meaning you should not be mean to others whom you think say mean mean things, because they might mean, or mean not, what you think they mean or dont. They might even think mean mean mean things; even if the don't mean the mean mean mean meaning things you think think they do, or do not, mean. Even if you mean mean mean meaning things. Mean mean mean meaning mean mean things mean sometimes meaning not what you mean mean mean mean meaning means.
P.S. I mean it.
P.P.S. Or maybe I mean mean mean mean mean mean things.
Basically, porn is problematic so that's out. Masturbating over photos is wrong because it "involves the other person". Imagining them too is also creepy without permission. Basically there's no way to "ethically" masturbate?
Wew lad... people in SRD always talked about "can alakazam consent" being the pinnacle of drama but who knew SRD would one day contort itself to produce an argument even more inhuman.
222 comments
n/a SnapshillBot 2017-04-23
No wonder you have an army of pretentious neckbeard losers following you around
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
n/a jPaolo 2017-04-23
You're a gem, SnapshillBot.
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
n/a fizolof 2017-04-23
I'm jerking off to this comment.
n/a JohnnyLargeCock 2017-04-23
It'd be rude not to do it.
Some people just don't know how to take a compliment.
n/a david-me 2017-04-23
I think your mom takes most of the compliments before others even open their mouths to take them. Maybe even taking taking take take taking take complements right out of their mouths.
n/a JohnnyLargeCock 2017-04-23
I asked her about this to see if it was true and she said she has no idea wtf you're talking about.
Glad to see you though, where have you been?
n/a Clark_Savage_Jr 2017-04-23
I thought /u/david-me was dead.
n/a david-me 2017-04-23
I am the lobotomized ghost of /u/david-me 's Passed Pheasant and Frontal Sutures.
n/a lasagana 2017-04-23
Just leave my photo albums out of it, ta
n/a StopTalkingOK 2017-04-23
Where then should i dispense my cummies if not on your picture from your bar mitzvah?
n/a cleverseneca 2017-04-23
Bat mizvah. Bar mizvah's are for men.
n/a StopTalkingOK 2017-04-23
I know :^)
n/a theRagingEwok 2017-04-23
you sly dog
n/a Chavril 2017-04-23
what's it like finally getting some sexual attention??
n/a Tar-mairon 2017-04-23
Based on their post history /u/lasagana is the legbeard.
n/a Tar-mairon 2017-04-23
How fat are you?
n/a Wtfct 2017-04-23
Please open to public
n/a SaintJason 2017-04-23
Wasn't there that post on /r/SRSDiscussion where a wizard talked about not watching porn since it's problematic but instead jerking it to known girls on his FB?
Weak.
n/a Condi_Rice 2017-04-23
Boy, what a sexist. If you want to be a basically decent human being (rather than gross trash tm that can be legally executed) then you're only alowed to spank it to to ethical porn.
What is ethical porn you may ask? It's simple! Here's how it works:
n/a Kazimir-Malevich 2017-04-23
man u actually wrote these words
n/a david-me 2017-04-23
<wrote
n/a cincilator 2017-04-23
there's no ??? and profit at the end.
n/a FreeRobotFrost 2017-04-23
I can't laugh at anything unless it's a reference to South Park or Rick and Morty. My brain doesn't like things with which it's not familiar. I watch the same movies over and over again, and I use a heavy blanket because too much physical sensation overstimulates me.
n/a Awayfone 2017-04-23
You don't have to prooflvr your autism tgat much. Your other posts were good enough
n/a MG87 2017-04-23
I'll give you $3.50 to Kickstart this idea
n/a david-me 2017-04-23
One fifty is the best I can do.
n/a KingInTheNorthVI 2017-04-23
There's a 0% chance that this is a real thing....... right?
n/a KingInTheNorthVI 2017-04-23
There's a 0% chance that this is a real thing....... right?
n/a you_cant_banme 2017-04-23
Give it 25 years. It might not be as far fetched as you think.
n/a david-me 2017-04-23
I'd thing 25 years would be far reaching enough. Time may see, if time could see. Time is relative, but adding light to the equation is incest. Heavy, isn't it.
n/a you_cant_banme 2017-04-23
Mind = Blown
Whoa!
n/a david-me 2017-04-23
Just imagine if time had a magnetic personalty.
n/a you_cant_banme 2017-04-23
I am the infinite telomerase! I am not an anti-existence! I am the perfect chain!
n/a LawBot2016 2017-04-23
The parent mentioned Social Security Number. Many people, including non-native speakers, may be unfamiliar with this word. Here is the definition:(In beta, be kind)
A government assigned number for people in the US under the Social Security System. Non US citizens can apply if they are temporary workers in the USA. Each number will be unique. [View More]
See also: Gross | Executed | Registry | Subaltern | Gateway | Chop | Entitlement | Chapter | Visible
Note: The parent poster (Condi_Rice or AppleDjango) can delete this post | FAQ
n/a Plexipus 2017-04-23
Sorry, we only listen to alpha bots around here.
n/a John_Ketch 2017-04-23
this is too real for the denizens of 2093
n/a FrostBittenSalsa 2017-04-23
That escalated quickly
n/a david-me 2017-04-23
Most of /theredpill use little blue pills.
n/a rockidol 2017-04-23
We can call it the Registry for Adult Porn Ethics
n/a Works_of_memercy 2017-04-23
So here's the thing I was thinking about. When you jerk off, it's to a fantasy involving some sexually gratifying act. And jerking off is a sexually gratifying act, for most of those people the one they engage in most often (if not the only one).
So why not cut the unnecessary complications and start jerking off to yourself jerking off? According to my calculations it should start a positive feedback loop, giving you increasingly more sensual and erotic experience as your fantasies become hotter and hotter as your jerking off to them becomes more and more satisfying.
And of course it's 100% UNPROBLEMATIC, so since consent is sexy that adds to the satisfaction.
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
Women are beautiful in all shapes and sizes and by excluding them from the equation you are being misogynistic. The solution is to only jerk off when a woman gives you permission and never less or more than that.
n/a FreeIceCreen 2017-04-23
Now do I need the consent forms signed in triplicate or will simply being them notarized be sufficient?
n/a niexx 2017-04-23
does wolfram alpha have a lewd setting I'm now aware of?
n/a DannyLee90 2017-04-23
"NUDE TAYNE" is what you're looking for.
n/a thirdegree 2017-04-23
I am significantly less attractive than the vast majority of my friends, and I'm not into dudes. Duh.
n/a Works_of_memercy 2017-04-23
But if you're not into dudes, why do you enjoy it when a dude rubs your johnson? Checkmate.
n/a thirdegree 2017-04-23
It's a power thing.
n/a Sloppysloppyjoe 2017-04-23
/u/lasagana show me that sweet bussy dm me
n/a Tar-mairon 2017-04-23
/u/lasagana is probably just happy to be getting some attention. That post history of hers is stereotypical fat chick.
n/a addmeontinder 2017-04-23
Only had to scroll for about 10 seconds to find the first fat-defending comment. Ha.
n/a lifesbrink 2017-04-23
And u/lasagana is a 3rd wave femmie. Poor soul.
n/a FrostBittenSalsa 2017-04-23
Post bussy
n/a The_Reason_Trump_Won 2017-04-23
CAN
n/a lunchza 2017-04-23
YOU
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
FULLY
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
AUTOMATED
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
LUXURY
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
NON-CONSENSUAL
n/a Ved_Buens_Ende 2017-04-23
no
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
MASTURBATION
n/a pigeondoubletake 2017-04-23
INFOWARS.COM
n/a xX69_0n3_ha1f_cup_Xx 2017-04-23
BILL CLINTON IS A RAPIST
n/a BrotherBoaster 2017-04-23
GAY
n/a JasonJewnova 2017-04-23
FROGS
n/a Ved_Buens_Ende 2017-04-23
no
n/a nomad1c 2017-04-23
INTERIOR
n/a nomad1c 2017-04-23
ALLIGATOR
n/a CRUNCHWARP_SUPREME 2017-04-23
I DRIVE
n/a nomad1c 2017-04-23
A CHEVROLET
n/a ComedicSans 2017-04-23
Whoa man, too far. That's just in bad taste.
n/a FrostBittenSalsa 2017-04-23
R/JesusFuckingChristReddit
n/a yonicthehedgehog 2017-04-23
DIG
n/a The_Reason_Trump_Won 2017-04-23
IT
n/a yonicthehedgehog 2017-04-23
/u/The_Reason_Cyrus_Won
n/a Thhueros 2017-04-23
You degenerates, it doesn't count if you respond to yourself.
n/a The_Reason_Trump_Won 2017-04-23
This
n/a Ved_Buens_Ende 2017-04-23
Is
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
Nobody was here at the time. It was just me here jerking off to every person in that thread against their will.
n/a Ved_Buens_Ende 2017-04-23
I honestly wish this was real
n/a ChateauJack 2017-04-23
PROBLEMATIC
n/a King-Achelexus 2017-04-23
Bash the srdine
n/a ironicshitpostr 2017-04-23
I can't get behind this call for violence; it doesn't rhyme.
How about "Guillotine the SRDine"?
n/a glmox 2017-04-23
come on people, we've been over this. it's "can the srdine"
n/a ironicshitpostr 2017-04-23
You're thinking of the Day of the Can.
n/a FrostBittenSalsa 2017-04-23
Sounds like this summer's big blockbuster film.
n/a StopTalkingOK 2017-04-23
AUTISTIC
n/a I_AMA_UNIDAN 2017-04-23
Umm, this post is very problematic. Can you please delete it for me sweetums :) thanks.
n/a westphall 2017-04-23
It's morally problematic!
n/a Awayfone 2017-04-23
I hate that word to an unhealthy point.
n/a Akai_Hana 2017-04-23
Why? Is it not wholesome enough for you?
n/a maljbre19 2017-04-23
TOXIC
n/a Re_LE_Vant_UN 2017-04-23
In SRD Bingo that's the free space.
n/a headasplodes 2017-04-23
Regardless of whether or not it's disrespectful it definitely makes you sad af. I've never even considered fapping to friends and I post here.
n/a mohkohnsepicgun 2017-04-23
You don't belong here.
Go, just go.
G now.
n/a jPaolo 2017-04-23
Maybe you hang out with unattractive people?
n/a WholeLottaToughLove 2017-04-23
>female friends
n/a meatpuppet79 2017-04-23
You need to upgrade your circle of friends.
n/a MegaSeedsInYourBum 2017-04-23
Did you seriously just say "fapping"? This isn't 2011 and this isn't 9gag.
Here; https://en.m.wiktionary.org/wiki/Wikisaurus:masturbate#Synonyms
I actually took the time to find you a list of words you can use so that next time you don't sound like you belong on 9gag.
n/a ReddCrowe 2017-04-23
Other than skeet, these are all worse than fap. By far.
n/a MegaSeedsInYourBum 2017-04-23
Not unless you're 13.
Is fap really better?. Is this the god that you worship?
n/a ReddCrowe 2017-04-23
Yes. Use one of the others in a sentence and see if it sounds better. Also change your username from something referencing Rick and Morty before you call out others for being underage. If anything, fap is old fashioned and outdated.
n/a MegaSeedsInYourBum 2017-04-23
"Jesus fucking Christ, Walt. Are you serious? My first combat jack!"
This is infinitely better than "Duhh hurr I'm going to fap and then upload some sick memes to /r/fffuuuuuuu"
Toss, jack, wank, skeet, beat off, it doesn't matter. All are far superior choices than the lowly and primitive "fap".
You can't change your username on Reddit. Maybe if you spent less time fapping to some sick memes you'd know that.
It was always a pathetic saying. Any reason to stop saying it is a good reason.
n/a ReddCrowe 2017-04-23
Doesn't sound good to me, but I suppose it's all subjective.
The other guy said nothing even close to that, and didn't link any memes.he just used a verb you didn't like. Didn't like so much that you decided to both correct him and post a link to other options he should use in the future.
IMO only skeet is superior. Not sure how wank, jack, toss or beat off are not just as tired as fao but eh, whatever. I'm not going to post any links to the definitive guide of which "memes" (slang verbs) are too tired and cringey to use anymore.
From a five day old friend to a three month old friend, it's called "deleteing your account and starting over." Of course if this is your first account, that explains a lot.
Getting bent out of shape over people using it is far more pathetic. In fact I was wondering if arguing the morality of fapping to someone's social media pictures was the most retarded thing I'd see today, but then you bizarrely latched on to OPs word choice and we have a new champion. But I couldn't let well enough alone, somI had to further argue it with you and snatch the Autist's Crown for myself. :^)
n/a Pyrepenol 2017-04-23
primo ref, dawg. primo.
n/a Sarge_Ward 2017-04-23
n/a John_Ketch 2017-04-23
How can you masturbate to something that doesn't exist?
n/a Cittera 2017-04-23
I find it really interesting that it is apparently fine to masturbate to a fantasy involving someone, but a picture is too much.
In my fantasy, I can make a person do anything. You'd think if we were going to have moral outrage it would be directed at me mentally dressing up my friends in naughty outfits, and making them say and do things. A picture actually constrains the fantasy somewhat because at least they get to pic what they're wearing.
n/a itsaboyffxiv 2017-04-23
lmao dude I just made you do the nastiest shit in my imagination. /u/jerkstorefranchisee did I break his trust? (He licked my asshole in my imagination)
n/a captainpriapism 2017-04-23
why tho
n/a HINDBRAIN 2017-04-23
If that's the "nastiest shit" you can think of I pity you.
n/a HawkGuy 2017-04-23
He didn't give him tentacles or a bussy so vanilla.
n/a Awayfone 2017-04-23
You mean
n/a lifesbrink 2017-04-23
Fixed.
n/a Awayfone 2017-04-23
Stop reading my browser history
n/a serialflamingo 2017-04-23
He literally mentioned bussy in the comment.
No one knows what a damn bussy is in this subreddit.
n/a FreeRobotFrost 2017-04-23
I like how this vanilla bullshit is what people immediately think of when they're imagining "kinky and weird", like people who think wearing a leather corset and carrying a tiny riding crop is somehow heavy femdom.
Normies disgust me.
Cock vore and weight gain are entry level.
n/a itsaboyffxiv 2017-04-23
I like simple pleasures.
n/a Matthew1J 2017-04-23
If that's not the "nastiest shit" that turns you on sexually I pity you. And your partners too I guess.
n/a SplurgyA 2017-04-23
If I had to choose between someone jerking off to my pictures or someone jerking off to an elaborate scat/torture/cannibalism fantasy involving me, I'd go for the pictures every time.
Thankfully nobody masturbates to me anyway so it's a moot point.
n/a ahbslldud 2017-04-23
wanna change that bb ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
n/a FrostBittenSalsa 2017-04-23
For the right price, anything is possible
n/a pizzashill 2017-04-23
What in the hell is wrong with these people, this is like the most retarded thread I've ever seen on Reddit.
There's no way any of these people actually apply this shit to real life, right?
n/a ComedicSans 2017-04-23
They all have printed masturbation release forms to give each other. Thankfully, they're all so goddamned ugly and riddled with Autism and anxiety that none of them will ever get in a position to actually use them.
n/a uniqueguy263 2017-04-23
Literally the PC frat in South park
n/a mikerhoa 2017-04-23
Signatures and handshakes imply literacy and working limbs, fucking ableism at its worst.
n/a John_Ketch 2017-04-23
These people are honestly so sexually repressed, it's depressing. I wouldn't be surprised to see one of them rape a women because they could no longer deal with the "truethink" SJW "grosscreepyewww" bullshit they believe in.
n/a mrmcdude 2017-04-23
These people are old enough to have been in a gender studies class, but not old enough to have experienced real life. At least that's what I tell myself, in the hopes that they'll grow out of it.
n/a a_jill_sandwich 2017-04-23
Seems about right.
n/a ahbslldud 2017-04-23
I dated a full-blown SJW once and I can unfortunately say there ARE people out there who use their insane SJW problematic scale to monitor and modify their every thought and action.
It's some of the craziest most unhealthy shit. Never date an SJW kids. It's never worth it.
n/a CirqueDuFuder 2017-04-23
+1 on that.
n/a IHateKn0thing 2017-04-23
I dated an SJW for a while, and I can't say I experienced the same.
No, their code of problematizing and ethics was reserved for other people.
n/a OniTan 2017-04-23
/r/subredditdrama is completely overrun. We can only nuke it from orbit now.
n/a FrostBittenSalsa 2017-04-23
r/CantheSRDine
n/a LSeww 2017-04-23
Modern ideology is quite often totalitarian, in a sense that it tends to control everything. This is just a good example, but there's always more.
n/a CosmicKeys 2017-04-23
Man, people in SRD always talked about "can alakazam consent" being the pinnacle of drama but who knew SRD would one day contort itself to produce an argument even more inhuman.
n/a ghostchamber 2017-04-23
Absolutely fucking not. They just pretend they do on the Internet. Something something virtue signaling.
n/a point_shaver 2017-04-23
Hey /u/los_eros, I just want to let you know that Im a 3rd degree sapiosexual and being the enlightened soul you are, imma gonna have to whack it to your pearls of wisdom. In fact, im stringing them together as we speak.
n/a tyuijvhvhcfcjf 2017-04-23
Can someone please explain to me whatever turpitude exists in masturbating to old pictures of Emily Brontë and, separatelywhen that doesn't feel dirty enough, my old hot dead old cold gramma? I don't feel like any of my actions are wrong, but once again SRD is making me feel like I should talk to my priest
n/a mystupidaccount22 2017-04-23
Confess your sins to the SRDines.
n/a CR90 2017-04-23
SRDines are so uptight they probably need a roofie to masturbate.
n/a MissMoscato 2017-04-23
Do not judge my habits pls thx
n/a StopTalkingOK 2017-04-23
What's it like being so sexually repressed it would make a Mormon squeemish?
n/a FreeRobotFrost 2017-04-23
Don't knock it until you try it, it's like giving yourself a stranger but More funner
n/a FrostBittenSalsa 2017-04-23
Sounds like my kind of party
n/a darth_stroyer 2017-04-23
/u/SmytheOrdo, how the fuck are you real and not a fake greentext?
n/a Nomadlads 2017-04-23
Autism?
n/a i_lick_fedoras 2017-04-23
I believe this is what doctors call "maximum autism"
n/a Nomadlads 2017-04-23
Or fake and gay
n/a i_lick_fedoras 2017-04-23
How dare u
n/a Wraith_GraveSpell 2017-04-23
Terminal autism
n/a itsaboyffxiv 2017-04-23
Then spaghetti fell out of his pockets but luckily he had a mentos
n/a uniqueguy263 2017-04-23
Mom's spaghetti
n/a snurpss 2017-04-23
the implication
n/a aonome 2017-04-23
/u/los_eros is right, it's better to be public about your masturbation. You might even have a friend that wants to charge their JO crystal with you
n/a captainpriapism 2017-04-23
dont youll get arrested
n/a HostOfTheNightmare 2017-04-23
there was a lot of positivity at the sesh
n/a lifesbrink 2017-04-23
I'm fapping to u/los_eros virtue signaling, that shit is giving me the ultimate bone
n/a buttsecksyermum 2017-04-23
I hope so
n/a aonome 2017-04-23
http://man2manalliance.org/crw/crwimages/
What the fuck
n/a Homer00025 2017-04-23
u/DeadTrumps literally embracing the idea of thoughtcrimes while figuratively jerking it to the idea of the family of the 45th President of the United States of America dying.
Is that considered "morally problematic"?
I guess as long as he isn't using any "artifacts" it should be a-ok.
n/a StopTalkingOK 2017-04-23
"He". As if this little boy carries enough testosterone to deserve the title.
n/a DeadTrumps 2017-04-23
I'm high test baby
n/a rarestpepesforsale 2017-04-23
If the test said you were high functioning, you need a second opinion.
n/a DeadTrumps 2017-04-23
Thoughtcrimes?
And it's just a deadkennedys ripoff
n/a meatpuppet79 2017-04-23
The mental gymnastics there are impressive. Full points for managing to use the word 'problematic' so many times as well...
n/a ComedicSans 2017-04-23
SQUEAL PIGGIES, SQUEAL.
n/a yonicthehedgehog 2017-04-23
this report is getting me all hot and bothered
n/a SaintJason 2017-04-23
What's gotten into you? More active all of a sudden?
n/a ComedicSans 2017-04-23
I'm on holiday.
n/a justcool393 2017-04-23
Approved: sex neutrality
n/a ComedicSans 2017-04-23
/u/E-rockComment, I'm getting off to your stupidity right now. I felt you should know.
n/a E-rockComment 2017-04-23
This is basically rape. I'm going to write a blog about you.
n/a justanotherusername_ 2017-04-23
You basically had an argument that, if reddit had adults, would be laughed out of the room for the pure daftness. You're just some young daft punk
n/a Nechaev 2017-04-23
(Some Cuck in SRD probably)
n/a TrattativaStatoMafia 2017-04-23
Best thread ever, seriously.
SRD never fails to surprise me.
n/a StopTalkingOK 2017-04-23
Jesus Christ.
n/a LSeww 2017-04-23
Masturbation is a sin.
n/a saint2e 2017-04-23
I'm getting a bit of a Matthew 5:28 vibe from these people:
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+5%3A28&version=ESV
n/a giroth 2017-04-23
We need more Bible quotes in r/drama tbh
n/a saint2e 2017-04-23
Ya'll need Jesus
n/a thekeVnc 2017-04-23
No sir i do not.
n/a saint2e 2017-04-23
I had a brief look at your commenting history. I'll make an exception for you
n/a thekeVnc 2017-04-23
oh sure.
n/a saint2e 2017-04-23
You're right, I don't have time for that.
n/a buttsecksyermum 2017-04-23
34 Do not assume that I have come to bring peace to the earth; I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. 35 For I have come to turn
‘A man against his father, a daughter against her mother, a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. 36 A man’s enemies will be the members of his own household
-Matthew 10:34-36
n/a Eight_Ace 2017-04-23
Does anyone know the verse about Jesus criticising the hypocrites who pray in public? I would like to use it when virtue-signalling rears its ugly head in here.
n/a Awayfone 2017-04-23
Why not just point to every one favorite Matthew 7:1a "Do not judge"
n/a Eight_Ace 2017-04-23
Nvm found it, Matthew 6:5.
n/a Maga_Brahmin 2017-04-23
There's really only one verse in the Bible needed for r/drama, and perhaps reddit anymore.
John 11:35. "Jesus wept."
n/a FreeRobotFrost 2017-04-23
Luther looks on and frowns.
n/a LLAXIS 2017-04-23
Wanking over FB pics is creepy af, and the fact that so many degenerates both in that thread and this one are defending it is disgusting
n/a JP147 2017-04-23
How is wanking over a Facebook picture any worse than having a sneaky pocket wank while looking at them in real life?
n/a jmdg007 2017-04-23
I think pocket is a bit worse
n/a glmox 2017-04-23
better*
n/a LSeww 2017-04-23
much*
n/a lifesbrink 2017-04-23
You dropped this
n/a LLAXIS 2017-04-23
You dropped this
n/a lifesbrink 2017-04-23
Thatsmyfetish.jpg
n/a LLAXIS 2017-04-23
I'm aware that reminding you of how sad your life is might hurt, but there is no need to instantly downvote my comment for telling you the truth
n/a buttsecksyermum 2017-04-23
Since it's not possible to slap you irl, yes.
n/a LLAXIS 2017-04-23
lol. Instantly downvoted for discussing a major issue in the world. It's fine, you don't want to hear the truth. Have fun with your facebook porn. My wife and I are about spend a relaxing week at a 5 star hotel in Paris.
n/a buttsecksyermum 2017-04-23
I would expect them to already have pillows at a hotel. Bringing your "wife" probably isn't necessary.
n/a LLAXIS 2017-04-23
Only people who wank over facebook pictures own body pillows, go watch some anime you perverted degenerate
n/a buttsecksyermum 2017-04-23
Is your wife's boyfriend taking the trip with you? Or being up with you there?
n/a jubbergun 2017-04-23
Someone here is campaigning awfully hard to become the poster child for /r/firstworldproblems. You make it sound like someone having a wank while looking at your over-inflated ass is on the same level as climate change, starving kids in the third world, the ongoing political crisis between Israelis and Palestinians, or Kim Jong Un compensating for his teeny cheeny peeny with ballistic missiles. The only reason people should feel bad for downvoting you is that you're a LOLCOW, and downvoting LOLCOWs discourages their participation, which robs us of opportunities for drama.
n/a LLAXIS 2017-04-23
Go stare at facebook pictures you degenerate fuck
n/a jubbergun 2017-04-23
Link my to your pics, bb, you know you wanna.
n/a Akai_Hana 2017-04-23
kys bitch
n/a lets-start-a-riot 2017-04-23
This is why drama is superior to SRD. We just jerk eachother and try to catch the loads instead of being buthurt about it...
Actually...
n/a captainpriapism 2017-04-23
depends if theyre present at the time ultimately
n/a NGC_6960 2017-04-23
FIFTY MOTHERFUCKING UPVOTES FOLKS, THIS IS THE FUTURE LIBERALS WANT
n/a pahnkayx 2017-04-23
that thread is the biggest circlejerk (pun intended)
n/a NeadStork 2017-04-23
I mean at worst it's creepy.
n/a HINDBRAIN 2017-04-23
I dub thee "masturborapist".
n/a buttsecksyermum 2017-04-23
Now I'm intrigued.
n/a HINDBRAIN 2017-04-23
The mass* version would be cultural appropriation.
n/a buttsecksyermum 2017-04-23
"Diversity"
n/a shaneoffline 2017-04-23
I only like those that want to silently jerk me off.
n/a mikerhoa 2017-04-23
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5obDMFMFxQ
n/a luxlawliet 2017-04-23
This is a case where "what they don't know won't hurt them" applies.
n/a Unicornaday 2017-04-23
I think if someone is jerking off to a picture of you you should take it as a compliment.
n/a cincilator 2017-04-23
So basically all the prudish people became SJW once Catholic church was no longer fashionable? Makes sense.
n/a justcool393 2017-04-23
This is probably the most impressive SRD argument I've ever seen.
n/a Standard12 2017-04-23
So many uses of "problematic". Prime SRD material.
n/a david-me 2017-04-23
Hey! I resemble this comment. I'll have you know that just because I said what I said, doesn't mean I mean what I said or didn't nor not. I say what I mean and it's mean to think I mean not what I say. Meaning you should not be mean to others whom you think say mean mean things, because they might mean, or mean not, what you think they mean or dont. They might even think mean mean mean things; even if the don't mean the mean mean mean meaning things you think think they do, or do not, mean. Even if you mean mean mean meaning things. Mean mean mean meaning mean mean things mean sometimes meaning not what you mean mean mean mean meaning means.
P.S. I mean it.
P.P.S. Or maybe I mean mean mean mean mean mean things.
If you catch my meaning.
P.P.P.S. Buffalo.
n/a Matthew1J 2017-04-23
If by impressive you mean funny and retarded then I agree 100%.
n/a takaci 2017-04-23
Basically, porn is problematic so that's out. Masturbating over photos is wrong because it "involves the other person". Imagining them too is also creepy without permission. Basically there's no way to "ethically" masturbate?
n/a rsaahhuul0 2017-04-23
Easy, just jack off to fictional two dimensional men.
n/a takaci 2017-04-23
I'm pretty sure that SRD will call me a pedo for jacking off to cartoons.....
n/a _JosiahBartlet 2017-04-23
This post got more upvotes than my post upon which this thread is based.
n/a riemann1413 2017-04-23
/u/jerkstorefranchisee i'm jerking off to your post history rn
n/a SovietWarfare 2017-04-23
Sometimes I like to think these lefties are normal people, but as it turns out /pol/ were the normal people all along.
n/a ItsSugar 2017-04-23
Being retarded in a different way doesn't make you normal.
n/a FrostBittenSalsa 2017-04-23
That's some quality canned SRDine right there
n/a CosmicKeys 2017-04-23
Wew lad... people in SRD always talked about "can alakazam consent" being the pinnacle of drama but who knew SRD would one day contort itself to produce an argument even more inhuman.
n/a jubbergun 2017-04-23
/u/ieatpussy69, why do you assume all your friends are into fatties?
n/a ieatpussy69 2017-04-23
All my friends are my feeders
n/a jubbergun 2017-04-23
In that case, please carry on and accept my apologies for the interruption.