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Pretty woman... walkin down the street.

Pretty woman...the kind I like to meet

Shut the fuck up. This isn't SRD.

Shut the fuck up... post your cute bussy

I don't think you're ready for my Bussy

That's an intense bussy tbh

Fuck off.

Whatd they say

bussy < boi pussy

Pretty woman.... the kind I like to meet

lol Zachums has never fucked a woman so good that she gives him money. What a fag.

What a badass!

Don't be a tease

>Zachums has never fucked a woman so good that she gives him money.

>fucked a woman

>woman

Of course not, u/zachums is too woke to get suckered by the meme gender

These are the pearls of wisdom that make up my necklace of knowledge

This is why I keep mine in a box

Stealing a man's brotein is standard semen demon behavior

too woke to get suckered by the meme gender

owns a meme dog

?????

Does a positive and a positive make a negative? If so I need to find another girl with HPV fast, these lumps are itchy

Just use a razorblade you amateur

I've never even hugged a girl :(

I mean, duh? You like watching muscular men in their underwear struggle snuggling which is infinitely more masculine than touching cootie machines.

Does it count if you fuck her, and take her money? Or do you imply consent for either or both?

lol consent

They don't pay him for the sex. They pay him for leaving.

The point is nofap gave me enough horniness to actually go to a hooker. Also it gave me strength to hold me back.

Ah, yes. A tale as old as time.

Can't wait for the Disney movie about it

Needs more Wildebeasts

Disney-Pixar presents Toy Story 4: Woody's NoFap Adventure

I could actually see it as a half-decent 6/10 teen comedy to be honest. Neckbeard Meets Hoe

Pretty Woman II

Tony Scott and Tarantino already did it and it was the ultimate incel fan-fiction story.

This is like that 4chan copypasta about the guy picking up the homeless girl and then marrying her. I'm sure there are plenty of attractive prostitutes and/or homeless women that are just waiting for their knight in shining neckbeard to sweep them off their feet and show them true compassion instead of just fucking them and leaving them on the side of the road.

Sauce?

https://i.redd.it/y8hg0ph5oowy.jpg

I'm disgusted and moved

The first part reads like the setup to a hentai comic, right up to her even implying she will repay the guy with sex.

That's what makes it so believable! I can't tell you how many times that has happened to me.

all it's missing is an epilogue where the author's cat magically turns into a girl

this is why 2D will always be better than 3D

eventually white men will succumb to their 2d weeb degeneracy and just not procreate for a whole generation

this is how the mayocide will be carried out

>be me, a 16 year old high school student named kenji sakamura
>grow up in a small village
>one day see 10/10 4 year old girl crying because a yokai took her ご飯
>defeat yokai in battle of wits and blades
>girl pulls down my pants and sees my 10/10 (inch) dick
>"no m'lady, it would be wrong"
>girl turns out to be sorceress with a pervy grandpa
>get gold amulet for my heroism
>grandpa fucks me in the ass every night
>life is good

is the grandpa buff

This is nice so I'm choosing to believe this is real.

Sorry about the cancerous site but /fit/ has the most romantic stories of all time and this was the only place I could find it.

LMFAO

TAKE MY EGGS RANDOM LADY

You're not leaving until you finish all of them.

We get it, you lift.

>Implying anyone on /fit/ actually lifts

cancerous site post on r/drama Nigga you don't get to belittle people.

I can do whatever I want. You're not my supervisor.

I l-lo-love you t-too.

Missed opportunity. smh.

eyes like humble pools of water

.....what

As opposed to all those uppity, full-of-themselves water pools you see nowadays

Ahhhhh that's right.

That sounds like a vintage yaoi Naruto fic from 2006

"I have been robbed by past girlfriends"

Hangs with class I see.

if she doesn't steal your shit you're just a beta who has stuff worth stealing.

go ascetic or go home (because if you're ascetic you won't have a home)

i want to believe

Incredible that everytime this is posted legion of spergs begin to shed tears over their keyboards.

I don't know why you think that the guy who married the homeless girl is funny. I hope that it's real, I thought it was a beautiful story.

Dear penthouse...

I've been nofap for almost 3 hours now and I honestly think I'm starting to develop super powers guys please help me.

how tf you last so long nigga share your secrets

me after nofap

🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 GIMME THE FUCKING MIKE....THANKS TO NOFAP ALL THE HOOTCHIES STILL LOVE ME, THE GENETIC FREAK, MY DICK IS NOW AS BIG AS MY PEAKS , AND I'M OPENING MY SECOND SHONEY'S IN ACWORTH. SUPPORT NOFAP OR I WILL END YOU WITH A STEINER'S SCREWDRIVER, AND MAKE YOUR GIRLFRIENDS SCREAM MY NAME.🚨🚨🚨🚨🚨 ......

OK, ADVERTISED YOU SLIMY VIRGIN'S...WHERE'S MY MONEY, ' CAUSE I'M HUNGRY????????

THEY SAY A MAN HAS A 50/50 CHANCE OF GETTING A REFUND FROM A HOOKER FOR BEING SO GOOD! BUT I'M THE GENERIC FREAK SO I GOT A 75% CHANCE. NOW YOU GOT THIS PUNK, LET'S GIVE HIM A .10% CHANCE... YOU GOT 133% BIG POPPA PUMP IS GETTING HIS MONEY BACK. HOLLA IF YOU HEAR ME!

BUT WHEN YOU ADD NOFAP INTO THE MIX YOUR CHANCES OF GETTING LAID DRASTICALLY GO DOWN. SO I HAVE NO SYMPY FOR THOSE TWINKY EATING VIRGIN FATASSSSES.

Prostitutes are used to awkward losers taking pity on them. Without the "giving money back" part, I would have believed the story. Prostitutes know a mark when they see one.

The red light district for foreigners here in Korea has perfected the art of getting loser koreaboos. Some are dumb enough to pay the upfront price of even $250 for a cheap ass whore who anyone with a half a brain could negotiate that down to $50, easy.

Mabe it's a tactic? Give back the money that one time, so you can start working an ever bigger con (nigerian scammers do things like that these days since their old tactics have been more than exposed).

I thought nofap was about not jerking off so you become more confident not voluntarily becoming an incel (oxymoron I know).

No its about unlocking the full potential of the human soul with the intense meditation method "not masturbating." If you can master this practice, you become more powerful than God.

I didn't masturbate before the age of 11 but was too retarded to do shit like drive and manage my finances and maintain my life or even get laid. Was I doing it wrong? Coincidentally all those things happened once I started milking my crotch tit. So I think that maybe masturbation is what gave me these powers.

It's a semen retention cult. The less you spill, the more energy you store up

Fact 1: Testicles only naturally store so much sperm
Fact 2: Glass jars do not

Conclusion: Store sperm in glass jars for one year, inject contents into testicles afterward. Nofap prime achieved.

All it did was make me hornier when I tried.

Reader, it's true. Your dick is like a magic wand: only instead of waving it around to cast a spell, you have to keep your hands off it and that's when the magic happens.

I was searching for paid sex online and then found a number. I texted her and she told me she would charge for whole night. I asked what about the day. She said the same charges. I asked her to meet today. When I saw her i really liked her. She asked me where we are going?? I told her to eat something. I went with her to a restaurant, ate awesome food. Had a really really funny conversation with her. She asked me again where now? I asked her to a place far away form here. She said but we only have 3 hrs left. I said it's ok. I went with her for a long drive and continued the conversation. She told everything about her and how miserable her life was when she started doing this. I kept on listening. She started to cry i gave her my shoulder and wiped her tears. She again said she has limited time. I said don't worry. At 5 pm she said let's do it, I have to go. I gave her the money and told her I had a great time, where do you want me to drop you? She was shocked. She put the money in her bag and kept quiet. As we were about to reach the destination, she never saw me palm the syringe with the bump of Etorphine. And as she turned her head to kiss me goodnight, I jabbed it in her neck, instantly incapacitating her.

And over the course of the next 12 hours, I became a man.

Keep going, I'm almost there

Is it just me, or does it seem like she thought he was a serial killer?

She said but we only have 3 hrs left. I said it's ok. I went with her for a long drive and continued the conversation. She told everything about her and how miserable her life was when she started doing this. I kept on listening. She started to cry i gave her my shoulder and wiped her tears. She again said she has limited time. I said don't worry. At 5 pm she said let's do it, I have to go. I gave her the money and told her I had a great time, where do you want me to drop you? She was shocked.

To be fair, if I was a prostitute, I'd assume every one of my clients could be serial killers. The only way to be safe would be for me to become a serial killer too.

Holden Caulfield wept

/u/hrahulgupta is basically Jesus

So he didn't have sex with her?

/u/hrahulgupta you fell for the old honey trap and didn't even get your dick wet. The money she gave you back was counterfeit.

This joke was so funny I'm not even feeling horny anymore seriously thank you, no homo

These people need help.

hahaha these fucking people

this sort of happened to me. she didn't give me my money back for the first time, but she'd call me over for freebies after that and then we ended up getting into a relationship. but of course, it went to shit

rookie mistake

This could actually happen, its not really unbelievable.

But it means you fucked up because now you're, what? Dating a hooker? Big win champ.

The whole point of hookers is to get the poison out without having to put in any of the effort, invest any feelings, or care at all about how you present yourself or perform.

okay so what actually is the deal with /r/nofap what is their point

I went with her for a long drive and continued the conversation

Like, I'm not a sex worker, but I am reasonably certain that this would never happen. This violates the "never go to a second location rule" bigly.

That sounds like a spanish soap opera but without the constant spanish nagging