[Low-hanging fruit] Female incels unable to find and marry anthropomorphic contradiction.

175  2017-09-26 by SnackBier

197 comments

I can take a 9-inch dildo up my butt, because I'm an adult and I solve my own problems

Snapshots:

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Good advice snappy

Going for arts degree worried about being to intelligent wew lads

being to intelligent

*cocks eyebrow*

-tilts head- You okay?

OwO

Furries are step 1 of the side of mayo.

I wish Trump would endorse furrycide already.

He's not going to, because his fursona is a gay Nazi wolf pup.

There's no other explanation, tbf.

That's why he fucks, and you don't.

Sick burn.

cocks

too

Arts? Wasn’t it communications?

What's the difference ?

Arts can include philosophy and actual literature analysis. Communications can’t.

trolling is a art

Tbf I'd you spent all day around a bunch of other people getting an arts degree you'd probably start to feel like you were some kind of hyperintelligent mutant too.

The first one wants super high status men and wants to talk to them about Jeremy Corbyn. Predictably goes down about as well as trying to talk to tankies about Pinochet and free helicopter rides.

The other two check almost every baizuo checkbox short of blue hair and morbid obesity and can't fathom why that's a more effective men repellent than mace.

For the sake of their future cats, let's hope they gain a few dozen pounds. Otherwise those poor cats are gonna starve in the time it takes for the stench of decomposition to overtake the stench of cat piss and get a fellow tenant to call the cops.

Savage AF

True, but savage

You just wrote their biography right there.

Perfect description

Perfescription.


Bleep-bloop, I'm a bot. This portmanteau was created from the phrase 'Perfect description'.

Bot oversaturation

Bad bot.

Judging by her eyes, she's looking for guys here AND there.

one eye on the camera

one one on da streets

Lol a guy who will laugh about helicopter rides is a keeper. Until then I have my husbando.

Ha ha ha helicopter rides, what a story! Anyway, how's your sex life?

The inspiration for /r/Iamverysmart

Yes, perfect

r/nicegirls is what I will be searching though during lunch, today. Thank you.

Imagine the outrage if the article had been written about men unable to find smart women to date

Men have no problems with having wifes that earn less / less intellegent. Women do.

And thats the real issue. Men just want someone who is nice to them, fucks them, and is loyal. They generally dont give a shit about talking politics, etc., unless they are a crusader. WOmen, on the other hand might "slum it" for a few dates, but will not marry down, and if they do, they will shortly be divorced as they view their husbands as "immature" and "lazy" because they want a life outside of work.

the dumber they are the less they realise i'm oppressing them

Naive. The dumber they are the more they affected by feminism and therefore oppress them with your mere existance.

Would you say that RadFems are fucking retarded then?

Hey man the water is fucking wet.

Imagine reading some shitpost on /r/drama and having the compulsion to victimize yourself with it.

I've dated this type, and they are insufferable. Everything is a fucking competition, like they are trying to one-up you constantly. It's especially tiring when they have nothing to one-up you with. She's sitting there with a master's in social work from a middling university barely scraping by. Bitch, I don't care about your grant proposal which will never get funded.

To quote the great poet Jon Lajoie,

I can't have sex with your personality

And I can't put my penis in your college degree

And I can't shove my fist in your childhood dreams

So why you sharing all this information with me?

Exactly these chicks' problems. If they would first show some fucking genitalia and put out, maybe cook a dude a slammin breakfast or something, then they could ramble on about whatever stupid bullshit they want.

Also I dated one about ten years ago. She's still in academia in some super specific field that has only one purpose: to be taught in academia. She can never get a job outside a college unless it's being a barista. She did put out, but was a vegetarian and wouldn't/couldn't cook, so I could only take her shit so long.

they would first show some fucking genitalia and put out, maybe cook a dude a slammin breakfast or something, then they could ramble on about whatever stupid bullshit they want.

Truth

Women that can't cook should be concentrated into a camp.

People who can't cook should starve to death.

Maybe you gals are not that clever and it actually is just insufferable smug, we might never know.

Also, no such thing as a FEMALE INCEL.

Are you saying that a hypothetical female midget with no limbs and down syndrome could still get laid?

Don't kinkshame me bro.

An old fat greasy pig can find some man to stick his dick in her. What she can't find is love and commitment.

ABSO-fucking-LUTELY.

Have you watched my 600lb life? Many of those women have spouses and children.

600 lb ≈ 270 kg

metric units bot | feedback | source | block | v0.9.0

shut up

bad bot

I'm sniff I'm sorry... I can never do anything right... sniff

Begone with your Communist measurements.

I don't want to watch your 600lb wife, dude.

600 lb ≈ 270 kg

metric units bot | feedback | source | block | v0.10.0-beta

Redundant at this point buddy.

That's its own genre IIRC so yeah probably

That's at least 3 genres right there. A truly groundbreaking masterpiece.

Not only would she get laid, she could probably get a job in porn if she wanted to... People have some weird fetishes and would pay to watch retarded midget amputee porn I bet

ABSO-fucking-LUTELY.

not that clever and (sic) just insufferable smug

So we just need to connect these women with the denizens of /r/circlebroke.

Also, no such thing as a FEMALE INCEL.

Is it supposed to be like Reverse Racism?

Natasha is cute, so she's the only one I'm genuinely confused about. Becca is a fat uggo and Andrea is 41, so no surprises there.

Natasha is attracted to rough men and won't admit it

TBH, Andrea seems hot. But seems like the kind of lady who'll cut holes in your underwear while you're sleeping.

cut holes in your underwear

But why?

Role-playing as a moth eating sexual fabrics.

That's impressively specific.

Only thing that made sense.

You don't know my exes!

Why would they agree to be in this stupid and pointless article, anyway?

Some of them have probably deluded themselves into thinking an article like this will actually make them look good and some single 6'2 CEO who makes >200k/year minimum and also happens to agree with all their political bullshit will be rushing to reach out to them rather than nailing dumb hot slags at the pub

In the case of these stupid broads they think having 3 degrees and wanting to talk about retarded "intellectual" shit should be ultra appealing to men, because that's the type of man they want.

They're just completely incapable of understanding that Dude's with the 'overachiever' personality that they see themselves having are completely disinterested in dating them.

That CEO guy can pay for a girl who costs less, sucks better, and I guarantee you is a WAY better conversationalist than any of these harpies.

White girls were a mistake.

As far as I can tell, history's most important white women, other than Gertrude Stein, have just been European pornstars. Why do we tell our little girls to aspire to be anything less?

This.

Look, if you're gonna be an overacheiving type a genius, you'd better get used to and figure out how to bone dumber and less successful people. It's just basic math.

Nothing that a good night of dicking can't cure.

Natasha is okay. 6-ish. Becca is a real uggo. Andrea is hot for a 41 year old but suffers from the fatal-British-teeth-syndrome.

hot for a 41 year old

He means she'd be ok to fuck so long as you don't keep her around long term.

Mate she's 41, she won't be around for the long term.

Would still smash tho. Just no kissing. Those fucking British teeth are a major turnoff.

It's ok all the women I "date" have duct tape over their mouths anyway.

It's their hamster spinning at full boost. They're using this logic because of hypergamy. Women don't date down and the quickest way to kill off a population humanely is to push women into higher education and allow the government shower them with benefits.

Are you sure your hamster isn't doing a little spinning itself?

wutface.jpg

These "women" really expect men to "engage in scintillating conversation" to re-affirm their crazy leftist views that men are the devil? No man in his right mind wants to go on a date and discuss "gender theory" or some other PC rubbish. Its a no-win. No wonder they wont engage.

Just wait until she accidentally goes on a date with the equivalent of Ben Shapiro and they actually do want to have a conversation about those topics...

False rape charge incoming.....I foresee intense "triggering", followed by r/relationship posts about her shitlord date you wouldn't validate her opinions, and "scared" her and made her feel "unsafe" because he held contrary viewpoints

Its so clear from the article, these women go into dates thinking they're better than the men. It doesn't help they try to go too deep way to fast. No one wants to talk politics when having just met. The cherry on top is how selfish they are being unable to feign interest in anything but themselves and topics they are already interested in.

‘Our conversations were mundane. When I tried to start an informed discussion — about religion or terrorism, for example — he had no idea how to react.

Hmmm I wonder why?

There's that old saying that if you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.

If everyone else can date just fine but you aren't having luck you really need to do some soul searching rather than narcissisticly blaming everyone else.

It's just wild to me that people can exist who so adamantly refuse to accept that they're the problem.

This is literally the same thing that people prattle on about "nice guy" neckbeards: people that think they're smart but lack a single modicum of social awareness.

Just the flip side of the same coin of blaming gender issues for your shortcomings.

Yeah, instead of trying to build a conversation on common ground she full on is trying to start a debate on politics for a first date. Then instead of realizing it's in poor taste to talk politics with people you don't know she blames her 'intelligence' and men.

It's exactly genderbent nice guys.

Not just politics. Religion too. It's like they're trying to find the worst subjects possible.

Just remember not to RAPE:

  • Religion
  • Abortion
  • Politics
  • Euthanasia [?]

Economics

Eugenics

Ethics-in-games-journalism

All of the above, but especially this.

You could be getting married and still should never bring this up.

Ephebophilia

In a way, they're actually one of the best. They're polarising but if you fundamentally disagree with someone about them you're only putting off the inevitable anyway. And, if you agree, the date will be more successful than if you had played it safe with smalltalk.

if you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day,** you're the asshole**.

Can confirm. I'm an asshole and I try to meet only one person per day.

My secret technique is to never leave my room so the only asshole I meet is the one in the mirror

There's that old saying that if you meet an asshole in the morning, you met an asshole. If you meet assholes all day, you're the asshole.

I would like to propose a major exception to this old adage: if you live withing the 5 boroughs of NYC or any bordering county of NJ

"Man who steps in poop smells shitty all day."

I bet if you have a controversial opinion on those subjects they're going to be quick to call you a racist.

And by controversial, they mean pretty much anything which doesn't agree 100% with them.

Tbh I'd prefer someone who doesn't know what to do with all social shit in this world rather than someone who got active position on every fucking problem.

Accepting ignorance on a problem makes you seem more intelligent than thinking you've got the solution to every single problem.

That's what they tell dumb people.

Doesn't exactly make for interesting conversation though

It's because they, like us, spend way too much time on the internet imo.

correct.

These women are so socially inept it hurts.

It doesn't hurt me, but that's probably because we are on similar levels of social ineptitude.

Complaining that "I can't a get a date because I'm too intelligent" is a 100% garauntee that it's not your intelligence that's stopping you getting a date.

Plus these bitches ugly af.

Eh Id smash the 22yo

Yeah the 22 yo is actually really good looking imo, like if you met someone irl that looked like that you'd definitely at least check her out.

Probably why they led the article off with her but still

Enjoy your retroactive rape charges

I'd sit through a few hours Tasha talking bullshit to have a go with her

Their knees are so fucking sharp!

Have these ladies never read the basics of dating? you bring up a serious political discussion on the first date, I'm walking out the door.

Yet even more mature men fail to show the requisite enthusiasm for her university projects — which include a radio documentary she recently produced on ‘the pressure that black women are under to adhere to white beauty stereotypes’.

this is why no one will date you. you go ahead and keep telling yourself that you can't find a man good enough for you. I bet your many cats will keep you warm at night.

Have these ladies never read the basics of dating? you bring up a serious political discussion on the first date, I'm walking out the door.

It's almost like they don't care about the thoughts and feelings of the other person on the date at all

Then wonder why they don't get anywhere

Have these ladies never read the basics of dating? you bring up a serious political discussion on the first date, I'm walking out the door.

lol mother fucker we can all see your post history, you would probably bark like a fucking dog and follow any one of these ugos around on all fours if you thought it would lead to one of them letting your smell her farts.

Even what you just said is better for a first date than social politics.

Nah, the totally best thing you can do on a first date is pretend that you are so attractive and desirable that you are doing your date a favor by taking time out of your busy schedule of posting about vaping and WarHamms and obscure drama on Reddit to take her out to eat. A date which you will storm out of if she dares break one of the "basic rules of dating" which you and your autistic friends agreed are totally a thing that everyone knows about and should be shunned for failing to follow in between debating the relative merits of using UberEats to deliver McDonalds to your home!

your busy schedule of posting about vaping and WarHamms

/u/TheGreatWolfRuss you're up

I do vape that dank. Scarily close to home but my bussy is spoken for.

Tell us about your WarHams

I like people dying and unlimited reading material. That series provides both in abundance. I don't play tho

You must be a big fan of God-Emperor Trump?

https://i.imgur.com/LYJJTmY.jpg

I don't know about you guys but i'm pretty sure this painting is a accurate reflection of the Republican Primaries.

Someone needs to submit this to /r/fakehistoryporn.

Im gonna save these and reap some massive karma in about six years.

I actually find it amusing since the Emperor is a rotting autistic corpse dealing with unimaginable pain and hasn't done much of anything in 10,000 years. Pretty apt comparison tbh

Totally.

Well tell us about your WarHamms! Do you prefer the 40,000 style dolls, or the ones with elves?

Nah I'm a lore nerd

So when describing why Gotrik and Felix deserve a longer TVTropes entry than the collective works of Shakespeare do you prefer to use the term "grimdark" or "darkgrim"?

Oh I didn't get into fantasy either sorry mate 40k or this date is over

I am sorry but this is all too weird for me, I have to go to the bathroom now this may take a while so go ahead and eat without me.

I'll just sit here pretending this hasn't happened before 😢

implying there is a warhams without elves available.

lol mother fucker we can all see your post history

lol coming from the mod of multiple subs and more than a quarter of a million karma.. this is pretty funny. You losers deserve each other

lol coming from the mod of multiple subs and more than a quarter of a million karma..

Thank you for noticing!

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Ok, now thats freaking hilarious. I hope the automated "plz be nice kthx" message from /r/politics becomes a popular copy/pasta.

This is the equivalent of a man complaining that women don't want to spend first dates talking about 19th century military tactics and protein loading after pull ups.

They say that men are shallow and only care about looks but this article is proof that a lot of men do care about a woman's personality.

So, Tina...its Tina, right? ---let me pose a hypothetical for you:

You have 2 Roman legions trapped in Parthia. Your supply route has been cut off and your troops are being picked off by light cavalry? In your opinions, should you form a protective square with your corners inverted, or a standard assault line and charge the enemy?

What....was it something I said?

What's the condition of my men? Are they well rested, exhausted, somewhere in between?

How many light cavalry we talking?

I need to know if I should be risk averse here or if I'm really in a tough spot and just roll some dice.

Bro...where have you been all my life?

Doing research on Roman history in the darkness of a basement.

roll for initiative

"In too wet to answer"

A much better title: "How About 'No'?"

Fear not m'ladies, I watch Rick and Morty c/:)

r/choosingbeggars

The first one is absolutely insufferable, I don't see why anyone would want to date her. Personally I'd rather sleep with a big pillow of my waifu each night than to have to deal with someone like her.

Those women are getting clowned on and they are too clever to know it.

The real WTF is all the idiots in this thread who believe this made-up story. It's the Daily Mail for fuck's sake. Stop eating up their bullshit.

It's obviously not made up

"Obviously."

Eh, you can find 3 crazy nutters that all believe basically any absurd idea. It's probably not Fake News(tm) but these unfuckable fucks are clearly a tiny minority of people.

these unfuckable fucks are clearly paid models.

FTFY

In this moment, I am single. Not because of some pathetic man's rejection, but because I am enlightened by my own intelligence.

Eh? Eh?

Eh

Eh

Since your so smart, how long and at what temp should I cook these 1/4 beef patties in the oven?

Trick question; you eat them raw while screaming about the advantages of paleo diets.

I can't get that drunk tonight, I have to work tomorrow.

All great men are functional alcoholics. It's never too late to start.

If ground beef is cooked to 145 degrees Fahrenheit for 15 seconds it is guaranteed safe to eat. If you do a roast, you can get away with temps as low as 133 if you continuously cook it

145°F ≈ 63°C

metric units bot | feedback | source | block | v0.10.0

Go die in a fire bot

cooking beef patties in the oven

You already failed.

ye

Smart enough to understand anything.

Except basic human relationship.

Zoz

These enlightened women of culture just need to learn this:

2D husbandos > 3D fuckbois

Natasha Hooper, a 22-year old who does not have a college degree, and is not at all opposed to dating older white-collar men, said: 'Men just can't deal with educated women'

'Men just can't deal with educated women'

Let me translate that for you.....men don't want to put up with your bullshit

That's a long-ass way of saying "NEET slut wants sugardaddy"

They all have giant foreheads, checks out.

Eternal Anglo

They just need to join the social anthropology department at my school, they'll get dick in no time.

So wrong

Translation: "I'm not hot enough to date rich guys, and too stuck up to date poor dudes."

You win today's TL;DR award. Congrats!

The second and third girl, maybe. But there's no way girl# 1 (going by pictures, because fuck reading that bullshit) has any problem finding a guy. That girl is some Grade ! shit, even if she is a fucking feminist, and there's no way she is hurting for takers.

prefers to date older men she meets at her job as a nightclub promoter

Yeah, I'm sure they're really into your intelligence and drive to succeed.

If everywhere you go you say it smells like shit....check your own shoe

British women are insufferable. More at 11.

TL;DR - It's not my fault, it's their fault!