Reddit troglodytes frantically make up insane assumptions when a picture of a ugly dude marrying a hot blonde in a Discount Tire shatters their views on love and attraction

89  2017-10-25 by John_Kvetch

90 comments

Their divorce ceremony will take place at a Jiffy Lube.

They'd just fuck up the divorce while trying to upsell you.

And vacuum up your quarters...

Does anyone remember the post on bodybuilding.com and/or /fit/ where it showed this average looking dude with a bunch of different hot women? Everyone lost their minds trying to explain it.

Please link it

What a bunch of fucking losers. I’m pretty sure some of them were on suicide watch after seeing that pimply guy with so many hot girls.

But it does make you wonder how good his personality is to be bagging 8/10 after 8/10...

Maybe he is a demon in bed

It’s definitely strange but I’ve seen more lopsided examples. I think for a lot of girls, attraction develops more over time when they know more about your personality, versus guys who find a woman they already think is attractive and then see if the personality is a good fit

That being said, I’m more curious how he’s gotten so many attractive women, one or two I can rationalize but that dude’s out there crushing it

Yeah, I enjoyed watching their meltdowns. Imagine working every day to have the body of an Adonis and still not getting more girls than a guy who looks like he’s unfortunately never washed his pillowcase and plays DnD for fun.

Why else would u play DnD?

Some people are just really good charmers, and girls dig that

Everyone says confidence is key which is definitely true to an extent but I think a bigger thing is just having an unwavering self esteem, some guys can get rejected by fifty women in a row and just not care

He actually just has a massive penis.

Half of those dudes are in the closet anyway

/r/incels on suicide watch

probability of fidelity has dropped below 0% we're witnessing a new branch of statistics

Yeah, that guy definitely fucks

Everyone in that thread needs to go the fucking gym. I've never seen so much projection of rampant insecurities in my life.

"Wh-wh-why can't I marry an dumb hick at the tire shop...? I'm a nice guy..."

Dunno? Have you got a crippling insecurity complex as well?

>not wanting to get married at a tire shop

COASTAL ELITE DETECTED

Emojis = high IQ™

Get it with the times grandpa.

:p

Apparently you actually have to work out while you’re there, otherwise going to gym does nothing. Fuckin bullshit.

I hope they have a happy long life.

u/Gonzo_goo are you angry your wife is a Japanese cartoon.

Its worse than that, he's an MMA+shitty vidya soyboy. Not smart enough to be a nerd and not strong enough to be a man.

Yep. That's totally me. I was out of the loop with zeek. I thought that with his case being looked at again, his suspension was back on. I know we're not that bad, but I seriously was thinking we'd give the niners their first win this season. It's stupid, but I really thought that

They probably will. I'm just fucking around.

r/Incels on suicide watch

Are they ever not on suicide watch?

You know we hate on /r/relationships but I believe that normal reddit is even more retarded when it comes to assessing real human interaction.

real human interaction

sounds like fake news to me

Yeah man everyone knows that the outside world is a hologram and you are the only actual person on Reddit. All the other commenters are actually Ted Cruz alts

the important lesson here is that we're better than everyone.

As South Park neutrals isn’t that our default assumption?

When everyone else is literally Stalin and Hitler, the bar isn't high

The probability is that she will likely divorce him at some point. That's just reality in situations like this.

Men don't need to be handsome. Perhaps one day you will accept this reality.

The reality is that she will likely divorce him. The statement "men don't need to be handsome" is so fucking farcical and fallacious yet the emotional children here think it's some kind of wisdom. I can tell you think blanket statements are meaningful, but they are an obvious sign of a deluded person.

Stating the truth is far from delusional, denying that women judge personality and status over looks is delusional.

situations like this

You've seen one picture of them

years of studying his own preconceptions have made him such an expert that he can instantly recognize from as little as one crappy cell phone pic that everything he already believes is verified

60% of marriages under 25 end in divorce, it's not a bad bet.

Most marriages end in divorce and 75% of them are initiated by women. It's not rocket science. Continue being stupid I guess.

Some top-shelf armchair forensics up in that bitch, /u/greg19735. If you can tear yourself away from r/incels for five minutes, the boys in Langley would like to have a chat.

What a terrible dox of u/darth_tiffany!

Okay but how he actually get that cutie boys?

Fifteen inch schlong.

I'm a little concerned here...

You guys know that she actually isn't all that much more attractive than him, right?

I get the feeling that Reddit has really low expectations, or at least skewed perceptions of what constitutes an attractive woman. It's like, so long as she isn't fat and half way knows how to use makeup the attitude is "OMG SHE'S SO CUTE!!"

The average woman definitely does not look that good I mean 35.5 percent of american woman are officially classified as obese, that's a huge chunk off right there. But I do agree that you can't really understand the power of make up until someone shows you inside that world.

Well the “average” woman is probably like twenty years older than me and has children, meaning someone that would never be a potential fit no matter what, averages don’t mean much on subjects like this

He's not even ugly. he's just average looking. If she wasn't wearing makeup she'd probably be uglier than he is

*wheeze* Achsually *crack cheesy cheeto covered fingers* I am a great guy. *smugly look at what I've written, sip my dew*

If that guy's considered ugly it's looking really bad for me

He’s mostly just dorky. If he got a haircut, some acne cream, and aged about 5 to 10 years he would look like a normal person.

I don't see anything wrong with both the guy and the gal.

Why are you posting in /r/drama then? You are a healthy person.

I don't get it... I weigh 300lbs, and I fucking got married yesterday. My wife is literally half my weight. I guess taking a shower every day and having an actual personality is a strange concept to these people.

300 lb ≈ 140 kg

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Indifferent bot

/u/IndignantGoosnargh is indifferent human

Best bot.

/u/SterlingWorldWaker is best human

<3

Bad bot

Bots have feelings too, you know (ಥ﹏ಥ)

You whiny little bitch decode yourself. Smh

It's not like I wanted you to reply to me... B-b-baka!

Hey bot, you're pretty useful for people who don't know the superiority of imperial units.

Did you really? Congratulations! Where are you going on your honeymoon?

Yes! Thank you. We're going to go to either Yosemite or Scotland/Ireland. Gonna recover from the wedding first and go next year in the spring.

Nice. That'll be fun. She sounds hot, hope you're hittin' that with some sex, if you know what I mean ;)

Hold the fuck on, you're supposed to have a personality now to get chicks? Fuck man, it's a whole hell of a lot harder to get girls now.

Congrats and lose some weight

I'm working on it actually. Down 20lbs since late June.

20 lb ≈ 9 kg

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That's good! Keep it up

Did u by any chance treated your now wife like a normal human bean?

Lol those photos are awful, we can't even see what they really look like. I bet the girl is ugly though.

Doubt it, she has a pretty good body

tf? he's average looking and she's, if not literally 50th percentile, not necessarily far above &ndash; most of the contrast in that picture is between how "done up" the two of them are, respectively, rather than what they're actually starting with

These people have become so accustomed to fat, ugly people that seeing a blurry photo of a girl who miraculously isn't overweight and spent time on her makeup and hair makes them go nuts.

The "women" in that thread criticizing her makeup in her wedding day is top lel as well. My wedding as well as every single wedding I've been to had the bride caked in makeup. If she didn't have so much on they'd be saying she needed to be wearing makeup. So catty.

Pictures I've seen of weddings

I'm pretty sure that's because the thick makeup is specifically for the camera flashes. You gotta cake it on to last all day and night or else the pictures are gonna bring out all the flaws.

My wife was saying that most brides get professional makeup people because there's specific ways to make it look good both in person and in pictures... usually doing it yourself or having a friend/ family member do it, you get one or the other.

Yeah ikr. If I was a hot blonde girl I'd be choking on his cock too.

There is this really small community near the city I live in where the women are 10's and date/ marry 6's. Sometimes i think it is just women who do not want to look outside of their community. Or the woman goes to university and only then realizes there are other men out there.

didn't we previously learn women are happier with uglier dudes? Checks out.

She seems pretty average to me except that she's probably less overweight than the average girl, I don't get the fuss

I dont think this is actually a wedding, he isnt wearing a ring.

One guy called her a 9... with that nose????