“Take Joseph and Mary. Mary was a teenager and Joseph was an adult carpenter. They became parents of Jesus,” Alabama State Auditor Jim Ziegler told The Washington Examiner. “There’s just nothing immoral or illegal here. Maybe just a little bit unusual.”
Generally, however, Christians believe that Jesus was conceived “immaculately” and that Mary was a virgin when he was born.
A shining example of WaPo's journalistic standards. 👏 👏 👏 If you want to know what wacko Protestants in Alabama believe, ask a Catholic and assume it must be the same.
I don’t think they asked a catholic, otherwise they’d know that the immaculate conception refers to Mary being born free of original sin, not the virgin birth of Jesus.
A modernist protestant evangelical pastor-professor and contraceptives advocate was teaching a class on Martin Luther, known heretic. ”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Luther and accept that the five solas are divine commandments, even greater than the 255 Dogmas!”
At this moment, a brave, traditionalist, monarchist Catholic soldier of Christ who had said over 15,000 Rosaries and understood the necessity of Apostolic Succession and supported all the dogmatic pronouncements of the ecumenical councils and the Supreme Pontiff stood up and held a Bible.
”Who wrote this book, pinhead?”
The arrogant pastor smirked quite heretically and smugly replied “God did, you statue-worshipping papist.”
”Wrong. The Sacred Authors, under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, dictated Holy Writ from their own historical perspectives and Mother Church collected these books under the direction of that same Holy Ghost. If sola scriptura, as you say, is true, then the Bible entered the world ex-nihilo, which is what the infidel Muslims say about their stupid Koran.”
The pastor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential by Joel Osteen. He stormed out of the room crying those apostate modernist tears. The same tears modernists cry for the “Jews” (who today live in such luxury that they’re allowed to practice usury). There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Martin Jack “Chick” Calvin, wished he had read more of the Church Fathers and classical biblical exegesis. He so wished he had a tradition of apologetics to rebut the Catholic student with, but he had declared all tradition fallible and man-made!
The students applauded and all registered for RCIA that day and accepted the Pope as the legitimate successor of Saint Peter. An eagle named “Doctrine” flew into the room and perched atop the Papal States flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The Oath Against Modernism was read several times, and Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke showed up and celebrated the Extraordinary Form of the Mass.
The pastor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He converted to Catholicism and received Last Rites as he died of embarrassment, and was tossed into purgatory until such time as his soul was clean of sin.
Catholics also believe that Mary's parents also didn't have sex or some such nonsense. It's one of those things that Catholics believe but there isn't evidence for it in the bible so Protestants call them out on it.
The problem is they're confusing the exclusively (afaik) Catholic doctrine of Immaculate Conception, through which Mary was conceived through normal biological means but God acted upon her soul to keep it free of Original Sin, with the more generalized Christian belief in Incarnation - through which Jesus was "made flesh" directly into the womb.
Confusing the two means the writer didn't do a lick of research, hence shitty standards.
Literally who gives a fuck about what phrases are used, might as well say "these guys said the magic incantation was alakazaam when actually it was abracadabra!"
I feel it's important to keep a bestiary of all the various flavors of perv. The Irish kind babble in Latin and rape prepubescent boys. The Anglo kind babble in English and rape pubescent girls. They all deserve the noose, but in the name of science, we should still try to distinguish between them.
Here's the thing. You said a "Ephebophile is a Pedophile." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a Ephebophile, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls Ephebophiles Pedophiles. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "Pedophile Family" you're referring to the fetish of Pedophaila, which includes things from Pedophiles to Ephebophiles to Hebephilies. So your reasoning for calling a Ephebophile a Pedophile is because random people "call the ones who like kids Pedophiles?" Let's get Lolicons and Shotacons in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a BDSM Lover or an Fetisher? It's not one or the other, that's not how fetishes work. They're both. A Ephebophile is a Ephebophile and a member of the Pedophile family. But that's not what you said. You said a Ephebophile is a Pedophile, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the Pedophile family Pedophiles, which means you'd call Hebephiles, Lolicons, and other Fetishers Pedophiles, too. Which you said you don't.
48 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2017-11-09
Don't even try to kinkshame me. My kinks are my business.
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 aliceunknown 2017-11-09
Your kink is statutory rape? 😮
1 scatmunchies 2017-11-09
🤔
1 AlohaWarrior34 2017-11-09
Nuke Alabamastan.
1 bigred198 2017-11-09
Totally utilizing this based bible defense next time I stone someone to death
1 TheEgoAndHisScone 2017-11-09
Joseph doesnt fuck Mary thats like the whole point
1 Matues49 2017-11-09
Literally cuck'd by God.
1 BackMusclesGetMeHard 2017-11-09
Think he's a good bull?
1 glmox 2017-11-09
about the level of theological literacy id expect from alabama tbh
1 TUMS_FESTIVAL 2017-11-09
So god is a rapist then?
1 Imgur_Lurker 2017-11-09
Fucking Hell Alabama you have one fucking job in this union and now you illiterate hillbillies aren't even smart enough to learn the Bible anymore?
1 better_bot 2017-11-09
That job is to be a laughing stock and to die early of gun-related deaths and meth, no?
1 AnnoysTheGoys 2017-11-09
So they're not even denying it now
1 TheGreatWolfRuss 2017-11-09
They're going for the pedo vote in 2018
1 AnnoysTheGoys 2017-11-09
Looks like it!
1 AnnoysTheGoys 2017-11-09
Looks like it!
1 better_bot 2017-11-09
This is what all Christians are like.
1 Strictlybutters 2017-11-09
“And he has one encounter with a 14 year old—“
“And it was consensual—“
“And it was consensual, that’s true.” —
THEE dumbest goy>>>Sean Hannity, USA, 2017
1 aliceunknown 2017-11-09
It what Jesus would've wanted.
1 Redactor0 2017-11-09
A shining example of WaPo's journalistic standards. 👏 👏 👏 If you want to know what wacko Protestants in Alabama believe, ask a Catholic and assume it must be the same.
1 scatmunchies 2017-11-09
I don’t think they asked a catholic, otherwise they’d know that the immaculate conception refers to Mary being born free of original sin, not the virgin birth of Jesus.
1 Imgur_Lurker 2017-11-09
She wouldn't be immaculate if she didn't have retroactive powers from giving Virgin Birth to Jesus
Ineffabilis Deus was also in what 1860?
You papal puppets want to show where in the Bible it says Mary was immaculate?
1 scatmunchies 2017-11-09
1854, but the doctrine is pretty old. Also, my papal puppets like to lure small boys into the confessionals.
1 Imgur_Lurker 2017-11-09
"Pretty Old" more like one line saying she was the Pure Virgin you darn Catholics obsessed over.
About as old as Mary's Body ascending into heaven that God personally spoke to the Pope about.
1 scatmunchies 2017-11-09
I’m not catholic, though.
1 Imgur_Lurker 2017-11-09
Novit enim Dominus qui sunt eius
1 JasonJewnova 2017-11-09
Sucks for you
1 better_bot 2017-11-09
She can't because AWAL.
1 TheEgoAndHisScone 2017-11-09
I mean protestants arent christian so they aren't wrong
1 JohnTheOrc 2017-11-09
>Praying to Mary
>Being a Christian
lol
1 weniscommander 2017-11-09
/>faith alone
1 JohnTheOrc 2017-11-09
SOLA FIDE
1 JohnTheOrc 2017-11-09
SOLA FIDE
1 The_Reason_Trump_Won 2017-11-09
heretics get out reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
1 EddingtonDidNothingW 2017-11-09
A modernist protestant evangelical pastor-professor and contraceptives advocate was teaching a class on Martin Luther, known heretic. ”Before the class begins, you must get on your knees and worship Luther and accept that the five solas are divine commandments, even greater than the 255 Dogmas!”
At this moment, a brave, traditionalist, monarchist Catholic soldier of Christ who had said over 15,000 Rosaries and understood the necessity of Apostolic Succession and supported all the dogmatic pronouncements of the ecumenical councils and the Supreme Pontiff stood up and held a Bible.
”Who wrote this book, pinhead?”
The arrogant pastor smirked quite heretically and smugly replied “God did, you statue-worshipping papist.”
”Wrong. The Sacred Authors, under the inspiration of the Holy Ghost, dictated Holy Writ from their own historical perspectives and Mother Church collected these books under the direction of that same Holy Ghost. If sola scriptura, as you say, is true, then the Bible entered the world ex-nihilo, which is what the infidel Muslims say about their stupid Koran.”
The pastor was visibly shaken, and dropped his chalk and copy of Your Best Life Now: 7 Steps to Living at Your Full Potential by Joel Osteen. He stormed out of the room crying those apostate modernist tears. The same tears modernists cry for the “Jews” (who today live in such luxury that they’re allowed to practice usury). There is no doubt that at this point our professor, Martin Jack “Chick” Calvin, wished he had read more of the Church Fathers and classical biblical exegesis. He so wished he had a tradition of apologetics to rebut the Catholic student with, but he had declared all tradition fallible and man-made!
The students applauded and all registered for RCIA that day and accepted the Pope as the legitimate successor of Saint Peter. An eagle named “Doctrine” flew into the room and perched atop the Papal States flag and shed a tear on the chalk. The Oath Against Modernism was read several times, and Cardinal Raymond Leo Burke showed up and celebrated the Extraordinary Form of the Mass.
The pastor lost his tenure and was fired the next day. He converted to Catholicism and received Last Rites as he died of embarrassment, and was tossed into purgatory until such time as his soul was clean of sin.
1 Yiin 2017-11-09
Ave Maria, gratia plena. Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus
1 rewind45 2017-11-09
Virgin Mary is pretty common concept among Christians and Catholics.
1 grungebot5000 2017-11-09
that’s not what immaculate conception is tho
1 Canvasch 2017-11-09
I thought both Catholic and Protestant believed that Mary didn't get pregnant through having sex, am I wrong there?
1 Redactor0 2017-11-09
Catholics also believe that Mary's parents also didn't have sex or some such nonsense. It's one of those things that Catholics believe but there isn't evidence for it in the bible so Protestants call them out on it.
1 carthoris26 2017-11-09
The problem is they're confusing the exclusively (afaik) Catholic doctrine of Immaculate Conception, through which Mary was conceived through normal biological means but God acted upon her soul to keep it free of Original Sin, with the more generalized Christian belief in Incarnation - through which Jesus was "made flesh" directly into the womb.
Confusing the two means the writer didn't do a lick of research, hence shitty standards.
1 newprofile15 2017-11-09
Literally who gives a fuck about what phrases are used, might as well say "these guys said the magic incantation was alakazaam when actually it was abracadabra!"
1 Redactor0 2017-11-09
I feel it's important to keep a bestiary of all the various flavors of perv. The Irish kind babble in Latin and rape prepubescent boys. The Anglo kind babble in English and rape pubescent girls. They all deserve the noose, but in the name of science, we should still try to distinguish between them.
1 carthoris26 2017-11-09
Here's the thing. You said a "Ephebophile is a Pedophile." Is it in the same family? Yes. No one's arguing that. As someone who is a Ephebophile, I am telling you, specifically, in science, no one calls Ephebophiles Pedophiles. If you want to be "specific" like you said, then you shouldn't either. They're not the same thing. If you're saying "Pedophile Family" you're referring to the fetish of Pedophaila, which includes things from Pedophiles to Ephebophiles to Hebephilies. So your reasoning for calling a Ephebophile a Pedophile is because random people "call the ones who like kids Pedophiles?" Let's get Lolicons and Shotacons in there, then, too. Also, calling someone a BDSM Lover or an Fetisher? It's not one or the other, that's not how fetishes work. They're both. A Ephebophile is a Ephebophile and a member of the Pedophile family. But that's not what you said. You said a Ephebophile is a Pedophile, which is not true unless you're okay with calling all members of the Pedophile family Pedophiles, which means you'd call Hebephiles, Lolicons, and other Fetishers Pedophiles, too. Which you said you don't.
1 JohnTheOrc 2017-11-09
^This is what atheism looks like
1 newprofile15 2017-11-09
Too late for faces of atheism, just in time to sperg out on /r/drama
1 Neronoah 2017-11-09
Who cares?
1 JohnTheOrc 2017-11-09
I just checked the writer's profile. She's their religion reporter.
1 LefthandedLunatic 2017-11-09
Islam and Christianity are like two gay lovers who claim to be homophobic
1 Canvasch 2017-11-09
Lol @ people defending him as if they wouldn't hunt down a 30 year old dude who tried this shit on their underage daughter.
1 CultOfCuck 2017-11-09
How biblical of them.