Chris Chan's brother angers Hollywood
31 2017-12-12 by shitpost953
Cole Smithey is Chris Chan's long-lost half-brother. In a desperate bid for relevance he has seemingly decided to burn any small amount of credibility he had as a film critic and given Ladybird a bad review, thus sullying it's 100% fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes and sperging the internet, a family tradition.
35 comments
1 incineratechicken 2017-12-12
Weak bait, Cole. You'll never crawl out of your brother's autistic shadow that way.
1 BigLordShiggot 2017-12-12
Sacramento is a pretty good city.
1 RetardedMannequin 2017-12-12
Chris makes autism look effortless. Cole has to work for it.
1 ConsoleWarCriminal 2017-12-12
Hard work beats talent when talent doesn't work hard.
1 IslamicStatePatriot 2017-12-12
Fuck yeah it's been many a saga without a Cole appearance. The good Lord truly provides.
1 snallygaster 2017-12-12
How else has Cole been involved in CWC sagas?
1 serialflamingo 2017-12-12
He hasn't been all that much. During the PaRappa contest Chris promised to ask Barb about Cole's real dad in exchange for a vote.
Other than that Chris just tries to get in contact with him from time to time to ask for favours or whatever.
1 stevemisor 2017-12-12
This is not the first time this has happened
He was also one in two reviewers who gave Toy Story 3 a bad review (he said it was to "intense" for the little ones)
1 incineratechicken 2017-12-12
That's objectively correct though. I mean, I liked it like everyone else, but it was blatant nostalgiabaiting for its own sake. Literally cinematic masturbation.
1 dexceit 2017-12-12
What does that have to do with it being "too intense"
1 Gothmog26 2017-12-12
Ke yourself safe
1 throwawydoor 2017-12-12
that's true. I loved it but my little cousin was scared. I became a little concerned at points as well.
1 captainpriapism 2017-12-12
muh nostalgia
1 MasterLawlz 2017-12-12
.....I kinda agree with that. Buzz Lightyear got brainwashed and tortured, toys tried to murder each other, I did feel like it was too much.
1 33coe_ 2017-12-12
He gave both Dunkirk and Logan F's.
1 throwawydoor 2017-12-12
but is he right. ladybird looks a little meh to me.
1 Rith2 2017-12-12
What’s lady bird about and why does it deserve such high praise
1 Pewkie 2017-12-12
Wacjy antics of Hank Hill's dog. Really a heartwarmer.
1 woetotheconquered 2017-12-12
Critics lavish praise on female directed/starring films as well as films about minorities. Like affirmative action for movie reviews.
1 pepperouchau 2017-12-12
"FEMOIDS OUT OUT OUT"
1 woetotheconquered 2017-12-12
I want to go back to Shakespearean days when all the actors were men, even the women.
1 a_normal_human 2017-12-12
Oscar-bait movie about a white girl.
1 youpostyoudie 2017-12-12
This is wrong.
1 a_normal_human 2017-12-12
Not really.
1 youpostyoudie 2017-12-12
How is it oscar bait?
1 MasterLawlz 2017-12-12
Coming of age story about a self centered ginger girl
It’s pretty well made but it falls into some indie tropes (main character tries super hard to be different and quirky, like she dyes her hair a weird shade of red and demands to be called Lady Bird for no apparent reason)
My favorite coming of age story is still Stand By Me but that’s probably cause I’m a guy so I related to it more
1 SSJKiryu 2017-12-12
Ladybird is alright but it's not 100
1 captainpriapism 2017-12-12
why even have multiple critics if youre not allowed to have your own opinion
1 MasterLawlz 2017-12-12
It’s a catch-22. On one hand, everyone is entitled to their own opinion. On the other hand, you have to wonder if he’s trashing it just for attention.
It’s impossible for a film for this many reviews to get a perfect 100% score though. Most of the ones that have a 100% score have less than 100 reviews.
1 captainpriapism 2017-12-12
i mean he prob is but thats what critics do its all just personal opinion
i think people are just butthurt their fav film is tarnished
1 Gargus-SCP 2017-12-12
I think some of the backlash comes from the fact that he gave the film a 3/5, B- rating on his site, which has consistently resulted in him giving films a fresh rating when submitting to Rotten Tomatoes, and yet for Lady Bird (which he reviewed months after most other critics), he determined that to be a score worthy of a rotten.
I'm just going off of what I can gather from reading up on the situation, tho.
1 do0rkn0b 2017-12-12
looks like a shit movie, zero super heroes and the main bitch is uggo.
1 Dr_Abraham_Hunt 2017-12-12
"If indoctrinating child audiences into accepting, and enjoying, brutal deadly violence was the intent of the filmmakers responsible for making “Logan,” then their mission is accomplished." - Cole Smithey, reviewing an R-rated movie.
1 Tyme222 2017-12-12
Didn't expect anything else from someone related to Chris chan
1 Pappy_StrideRite 2017-12-12
x-post to r/chrischansonichu ?