The Tiki Enthusiasts and the Case of the Missing Fish.
59 2018-02-06 by snallygaster
Turns out that there's a sizable group of people who are really into the Polynesian pop culture kitsch known as Tiki. Who would have guessed? Naturally, the community is pretty laid-back, but one event did cause quite a stir. Following the closing of the popular Bahooka Bar, its beloved mascot, a 37-year-old pacu fish named Rufus, was suddenly homeless, or, more accurately, living alone in a dark, vacant restaurant, kept alive only by his longtime carer's volunteer efforts. The new owner of the bar space had technically bought Rufus, along with the rest of the bar's decor, but found no use for him. In reaction to this news, the Tiki community scrambled to find a way to save Rufus by rehoming him somewhere where he could be properly cared for. A local to the area and fan of Rufus set up a fundraising page where they quickly amassed over 2.5k in funds, while a number of skilled aquarium-keepers offered to provide the fish with a place to stay. The tight-knit fandom tried to do everything in its power to save the orphaned mascot.
After exceeding their fundraising goals, Rufus' fan posted an update on the fundraising page. They announced that while they had found a potential new home for Rufus, the new owner of the restaurant space saw profit in Rufus after his dilemma generated quite a lot of local publicity. Although he had once wanted to get rid of the fish, the owner now refused to hand him over to proper caretakers.
The Tiki community was disraught; not only was their beloved fish in limbo, but so was their hard-earned rum money. The fan who'd set up the donation drive briefly mentioned that they were deciding on what do do with the money in the update, but following that, all communication and contact ceased. One user protested the accusations now flying towards the new owner and his treatment of the fish, but the worst was yet to come. After finding pictures of the gutted bar and the empty tank where Rufus used to live, the saddened Tiki-lovers speculated about where he went (and produced some fanart about the matter), praying for answers (though some were not so upset about the idea of a dead fish, causing turmoil in the usually placid community), or at least some form of contact from his new owner. However, as time went on, and the thread grew longer, they began to accept that Rufus was gone forever. While they hoped for the best, it became increasingly likely that the worst had occurred, and that the middle-aged fish had simply been disposed of. Some rumors have circulated over what happened to the pacu, such as that he was released into a koi pond (though the "proof" of this was dubious at best), thrown into a river in Long Beach,or spotted with Elvis in London, but it's likely that his fate will remain the Tiki community's biggest mystery.
28 comments
1 pizzashill 2018-02-06
What about the Jews though.
1 CucksLoveTrump 2018-02-06
Finally you ask a coherent question
1 life_is_painfull 2018-02-06
r/wholesome drama
I hope they get that fish a new home
1 incineratechicken 2018-02-06
That fish is dead as shit.
1 KatieWayyLmao 2018-02-06
/u/snallygaster how do you have time to investigate this case when you should be eating horse poop with your Iggles comrades?
1 snallygaster 2018-02-06
I already ate enough horse poop today
1 KatieWayyLmao 2018-02-06
hey where is your dope write-up of onision? I tried to find it in your write-up mega list but it doesn't like it's there?
1 snallygaster 2018-02-06
Here you go! I guess I should put it in there.
1 KatieWayyLmao 2018-02-06
Sweet thank you! And yes, you should. It's great and others need to be aware it exists.
1 Lawgustmarck 2018-02-06
New owner is Chinese?
Chinese are cheap.
Chinese love fish.
There is a fish floating there.
Yep that fish is dead.
1 snallygaster 2018-02-06
They didn't let the new owner take the fish, and the fish's longtime caretaker was still visiting him up until its mysterious disappearance, so it probably wasn't the new owner. Plus the owner apparently wanted to buy the fish and upgrade its tank because of all the publicity it attracted, if the original owners of the fish are to be trusted.
1 snallygaster 2018-02-06
My guess is that he accidentally killed it somehow, then pretended that he released it in a koi pond.
1 ninjaofpatience 2018-02-06
The chinese ruin everything tbh
1 Ultrashitpost 2018-02-06
I thought this was gonna be about the alt-right or a new Freddi Fish game. But it's neither, Snally.
1 snallygaster 2018-02-06
What's Freddi Fish??
1 Sarge_Ward 2018-02-06
did you even have a childhood snally?
1 snallygaster 2018-02-06
i remember that fish!
1 Fuish 2018-02-06
Freddi fish, Pajama Sam, and Putt-Putt were incredible.
1 NoodlesMcNoodlesface 2018-02-06
wtf is that retarded neopets knockoff?
1 OysterCookie 2018-02-06
shut the fuck up
1 NoodlesMcNoodlesface 2018-02-06
no u
1 Senator_Chickpea 2018-02-06
there's a sizable group of people who are really into the Polynesian pop culture kitsch known as Tiki.
1 Going_up_the_Country 2018-02-06
Tastes just like candy.
1 AnnoysTheGoys 2018-02-06
Tiki enthusiast sounds like a great way to spend retirement tbqh
1 snallygaster 2018-02-06
It does seem like a cool community and pasttime. Just hanging out with your pals, sipping Mai Thais and trading mugs.
1 rabiiiii 2018-02-06
When you out "tiki enthusiasts" I legit thought you were referring to white supremacists.
1 HodorTheDoorHolder 2018-02-06
When you search for "Tiki torches" lol
1 Rith2 2018-02-06
😂 I fucking love you snally thank you for these posts
1 snallygaster 2018-02-06
np np, it's been a while since I've put any effort into one so I was happy to stumble across Rufus.