Stormy Daniels has a ‘Monica Lewinsky dress’ to test for Trump’s DNA, report says

68  2018-02-15 by grungebot5000

208 comments

THE DAILY BLAST

IT’S ALL HAPPENING

Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!

Am I the only one who saw “Daniels kept her side of the bargain,” after having read about the multiple times she claimed this happened? Meaning she would in fact be in violation of the NDA well before the attorney?

Also: I too look forward to seeing if daddy’s cum is on the sparkly dress. T_D will have something new to jerk it to.

maybe it only lasted 2 years lol

anyway i mean, what’s the worst that could happen

Trump is shamed, resigns in disgrace, /r/politics celebrates, President Pence is sworn in, declares the Christian Empire is now a thing, antifa are raped in their homes, atheists are executed, feminists are chained down and used as breeding stock for good Mayo children.

Basically the mayocide is put off for a couple years.

i mean lets be real here, white people still have a few more decades left in em anyways

Crafty little pests

Do the snow negroes count as mayos

No. Anyone who thinks chocolate spaghetti is a thing is not a mayo.

Wtf that is peak white people nonsense

Disagree. Tht sounds like peak ghetto people nonsense.

Here in mayo heartland Germany they have chocolate pizza now so there is that

Reunification was a mistake.

You're telling us

Disagree. Tht sounds like peak ghetto people nonsense.

Bruh, chocolate spaghetti is astoundingly white.

This is the future conservatives want

Not going to lie, I got hard while writing that.

Not going to lie, I got hard while reading it

That’s pretty much the exact plot of The handmaids tale and turner diaries simultaneously

President Pence isn't a dumb fucking retard

before:

he didn't do it this is a witch hunt
after
you're just mad you can't fuck pornstars buncha lefty losers

Personally I always figured he did it, I just don’t care because...why? Dude had consensual sex, didn’t lie to the feds, and paid his hooker off.

I’m more bothered by the antics of all sides trying to game it.

I agree, it's hilarious. Imagine being that rich and egotistical and not trying to amass a ridiculous body count. Hypocrisy on both sides, one day the_donald has posts that are just self posts with actual prayers, the next they are defending Don cheating on his pregnant wife with a pornstar.

Bros before hoes.

Also it’s not illegal to fuck a pornstar, people are tryna say he used campaign funds for the hush money, idc at this point

listen, if the president of the united fucking states used campaign funds to pay off a prostitute he slept with while cheating on his wife and newborn child, who both reside in the White House at his side, it's absolutely going to be huge news.

Ok maybe you can clarify this. The incident occurred in 2006. When did the payoff happen?

2016, during the campaign

Source?

The president's lawyer.

Fake news. Trump haa never meet his lawyer and has never been closed to him. Pure lies by the failing media.

You gotta check your tenses my dude

Better?

lol you're almost there. If English is not your first language I am an asshole it's like 95% perfect

When the Wall Street Journal reported last month that Michael Cohen, a lawyer for the Trump Organization, had created an LLC shortly before the 2016 election that was used to pay $130,000 to porn star Stormy Daniels, Cohen was forceful in his response.

The LLC is 'Essential Consultants LLC' and was created out of Delaware.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/politics/wp/2018/02/14/we-know-that-stormy-daniels-got-paid-we-still-dont-know-if-the-payment-violated-the-law/?utm_term=.88f403cbcb1c

Dude, I literally don’t follow what the president did with his dick back in 2006. Seems a bit gay, like when the GOP spun circles about Billy getting hit and heavy with an intern.

The juicy part is that he appatently used campaign funds to hide it, though.

Oh no disagreement there. If it is shown, then commenced the hilarity. If this is just “daddy used money to shush a whore,” I literally don’t care.

Its even better. The official story is "Trump's lawyer used his own money to pay 130.000 to a former pornstart who definitely did not have sex with Trump."

No one really cares about the sex. It's the ridiculous incompetent way they handled the payoff while running for president. It's an absurd situation made worse by the orange idiot being the world's worst liar

lmfao

We need a T_D regular to handle this one.

Checking in for doody

Take care of that mong. Thanks bby

u/drmantiss I can't tell if you're retarded or just memeing, but the fact that one of the richest people in the US banged a porn star 10+ years ago is the biggest nothing burger of the decade. You know what would surprise more people? If Trump hadn't banged porn starts.

you're right, as long as the POTUS didn't use campaign funds to pay off his prostitute then it's no biggy, barely even news.

The MAGA-pede wins!

How do you people do this, you want the upvote or I downvote your valiant opponent?

You and I are living in different worlds if you think a personal scandal of this level involving the POTUS is "barely even news"

How the fuck is this even a scandal?

RICH GUY BANGS PORN STAR

Oooh that's never happened before

Yes, it has happened before. And it always makes headlines. Again, what world are you living on?

I live in reality, where rich people slay nice pussy. Where do you live?

were you actually born in 1966?

Oh man how hard was it to stop yourself from going on a full rant about how this actually makes trump the ultimate alpha male?

In case you forgot, the last president's suit color unironically became a scandal. Of fucking course this is big news.

Lets review this story: the president of the United States fucked some porn star right after his wife gave birth to his youngest child. He then proceeded to pay her thousands of dollars to keep her mouth shut. Then, it turns out over a decade later she still has a cum-stained dress to check for his DNA. That is drama on the highest level and how ridiculous is it, on this sub of all places, for you to act like that's nothing.

the president of the United States fucked some porn star right after his wife gave birth to his youngest child

If we grant you that's true (I've seen no proof) so what? Rich people fuck attractive people, plus I doubt he was getting much back at home

He then proceeded to pay her thousands of dollars to keep her mouth shut.

Well I mean a decade later, his lawyer settled a lawsuit with her

Then, it turns out over a decade later she still has a cum-stained dress to check for his DNA.

Citation wildly needed here

Well first of all we we're discussing whether or not it's "even a scandal", not whether or not it's true. Time will tell for most of that stuff.

I don't want to over generalize but seeing as you guys are always talking about "moral degeneracy" it's pretty funny to hear you talk about this guy fucking around on his wife so casually. I don't know how to get this through your head. Do I really have to link you articles from the plethora of huge scandals that have been the result of people cheating on their wives? Are you that young or is your memory that bad?

nice pussy

stormy daniels

Yeah, you ARE from the Midwest.

trying to do that doxxing thing again?... it is not your thing brudda

nothing burger

Kill yourself.

Okay.

Oh wait, no, the opposite of that

you've made 912 posts to /r/drama alone in the past 6 months. but please keep grandstanding about my hobbies haha

/r/Drama is love, bitch.

Posting on /r/drama suggests that you're mentally ill and probably gay.

Posting on /r/politics suggests that you're boring and probably stupid.

That ain’t grandstanding you cunt. I didn’t bother to go find out how much of a hobby politics is for you, just realized I was talking to a delusional bag of shit and summoned another bag of shit. That way we could all watch two monkeys knife each other.

And goddamn only 912? Mommy Clinton said my quota was 1000 or I wouldn’t get my SorosShequetm

imagine being this emotional

HAHA

OK so here's the plan. We're going to bang a bunch of hoors under sketchy conditions. Then a decade later we're going to run for President of the United States so that we can siphon money off the campaign to pay off any of these sketchy hoors who cause problems.

Oh and we'll have our lawyer Jewry Goldstein handle the payoff. We'll even have him claim he paid out of his own pocket just to confuse people further.

Crazy plan to get away with cheating on your trophy wife. But I guess it works!

It's suspected his lawyer paid her off during the campaign to shut her up.

If he did, in fact, pay her off during the campaign and not disclose it, that's illegal.

https://www.aol.com/article/news/2018/02/14/trumps-lawyer-michael-cohen-has-left-open-the-possibility-that-trump-reimbursed-him-for-the-stormy-daniels-payment/23361706/

This is why his lawyer came out and tried to say it was HIM that paid her off, and Trump had nothing to do with it. If it's discovered Trump had something to do with it, he did in fact break the law.

he did in fact break the law.

Oh no, I guess we'd better have an impeachment vote that will be strictly along partisan lines.

Evangelicals are protestants, so their values are whatever is politically convenient for them. There are no moral or political consequences.

As for legal consequences, John Edwards did the same exact thing and was acquitted.

It's the hypocrisy of the right saying a blow job is an impeachable act. But you knew that!

Thought the Clinton thing was stupid, think the Daddy thing is stupid. I’m not the hypocrite in the room just the guy laughing at both sides for their stupidity.

LOL SURE FAGGGG

Anyone who watches “My 600 lb Life” and goes looking in Knoxville for little black balls to swallow is probably an overweight detriment to society, a worshipper of the master race penis (black), and probably unironjcally believes they are an enlightened progressive.

Now settle down and suck yo thumb.

Anyone who watches “My 600 lb Life” and goes looking in Knoxville for little black balls to swallow is probably an overweight detriment to society, a worshipper of the master race penis (black), and probably unironjcally believes they are an enlightened progressive.

Now settle down and suck yo thumb.

Spell check before you edge lord.

Naw you’re not worth a spell check.

Nobody cares go make me a sandwich

Clinton was impeached for lying under oath, which is a felony.

She claimed it happened before she got paid. After she got paid, she denied it.

Ahhh gotcha. I’ve seriously not been giving a fuck about this drama.

She said she slept with Donald in 2012, then she signed the NDA in 2016 and denied it ever happened and now the dumb fuck lawyer relieved her of her responsibility regarding the NDA.

Ah. I’ve been out of the loop and don’t know the details. So NDA was ten years after the affair. And we are possibly upset because sources familiar with things (reporters making stuff up maybe) think the bush money cane from the campaign.

Lawyers don't tend to pay out large sums of money of their own free will. Trump's lawyer would've been pushed by Trump or people close to his campaign to shut this pornstar up because it would have been thought that it wouldn't go down well with supporters or people on the fence about voting for him.

No, I understand that today’s media tennnnnnds to make shit up or believe what any source they “believe” to be credible tells them.

And am a lawyer, you don’t need to tell me how we tend not to pay for client settlements.

And am a lawyer, you don’t need to tell me how we tend not to pay for client settlements.

So you understand why a porn star recieving $130,000 dollars from the lawyer of a presidential candidate would be scrutinised?

Uh yes. I’m just annoyed with “sources.”

Well if they name the sources, the sources will possibly face consequences, e.g. losing their jobs. And then this will discourage whistleblowers and other sources from coming forward in the future.

Right, so we should just trust those sources without question and believe that completely unbiased journalists vetted those sources carefully. I gotcha.

I can't wait for the fallout if it's his sperm on this dress.

Trump's christian base is largely those who don't go to church. They're not gonna care.

Deep State will clone him. The the glaring bald spot will give him away.

That's why Trumps weave is a need to know basis only secret.

Battle of the Clones: Trump Tower Edition I'd pay so fuckin much to watch

It'll be easy to spot the clone, as it won't have decades worth of KFC grease clogging the arteries to his brain making him retarded.

now there are two of them. this is getting out of hand.

No cum on dress. YOU cum on dress! And what about Bill Clinton?

Stormy raped me! #metoo - Daddy probably

"The deep state planted it there."

That's it. Anyone sensible has stopped giving Trump the benefit of doubt, we don't need more evidence that he is trash. Anyone who still defend him will still do so even if he ate a child in front of his mother.

Only if the baby was Mexican

The child had it coming.

there won’t be any

Trump isn’t dumb enough to get into legal trouble over fucking some bimbo, and his supporters wouldn’t be bothered by it

you are dumb enough to believe anything shillary media says without any evidence

Oh please, oh please. Also, the fact that these women keep crusty dresses around is delightfully scummy.

it’s for EXACTLY this type of situation

Wait, so you guys don't save your old jizz socks?

i don’t use socks, what are walls for

Fucking pleb, not jizzing in your own mouth.

smh all these lanklets wasting precious protein like they don't even want gainz

REDUCE REUSE RECYCLE

desk in the way

that's gross. Just aim it on the carpet and when it dries you can vacuum it right up. It's a good idea to have a vacuum with adjustable pile height so your vacuums brush rollers can make contact and agitate the crust to turn it into dust. I have a dyson.

I use a shoebox

banned for being reddit from every sub i mod

Use a coconut

Make sure you warm it up in the microwave first

Why use socks when we have your bussy?

Q: Monica, why did you keep that black dress? ... Blue dress.

Lewinksy: I didn't have a reason ... if I remember correctly, I didn't really realise that there was anything on it until I went to go wear it again ...

... I had shown the dress to Linda at that point and had just sort of said to her ... "Isn't this stupid?" Or, you know, "Look at this, isn't this gross?" Or whatever. I don't really remember exactly what I said.

And she told me that I should put it in a safe deposit box because it could be evidence one day. And I said that was ludicrous because I would never - I would never disclose that I had a relationship with the president, I would never need it.

And then when Thanksgiving time came around and I told her that I was going to wear it for Thanksgiving, she told me I looked fat in the dress, I shouldn't wear it. She brought me a jacket from her closet ... to try to persuade me not to wear the dress.

So I ended up not wearing it and then I was going to clean it. I took it with me up to New York and was going to clean it up there and then this broke.

That's hilarious.

Ew. Isn’t that semen almost a decade old by now?

Vintage 😋😋😋😋😋👌👌👌💦💦💦💦

user reports:
1: sex negativity

Baron joined the Navy?

that picture of stormy daniels and dane cook should be adopted as the state flag of florida

8 is the trashiest though.

Stormy is from Louisiana, yo!

More like Calm Before The Stormy amirite

as always, braheem

so that's what /r/CBTS_Stream stands for?

Yes, you prick.

I keep following links to that sub from here when they're posted and I still have no fucking idea what that sub is even about.

Usually means it's about gaming or a podcast. Prolly a gaming podcast in this case, though I can'e be sure.

Pensioner screams at sky.

Caucasians Bellow Towards Sky

Old Men Yell at Cloud

More like pensioner sees shapes in the clouds and concludes god is sending him messages about the deep state.

This is less stupid than reality

Stupid old people obsessing over 4chan memes now of all things

Basically a right wing "internent militia" type of group. Most of the members are old af by reddit standards standards.

They follow the LARP of Q and make memes about it. It's T_D on meth and prune juice. All weird low effort forwards from grandma type memes. They actually believe Obongo as they call him and Hillary are in Guantanamo because of Q.

I had to go down there and stop a massive migration to VOAT because their mods were claiming hackers were deleting 100 posts a day. It turned out the mods were lying to send them to VOAT. I exposed them via the un-censorship reddit sites and then the mods claimed it was a drill to out bad agents. Idk what that even means. But I ended up banned for mt troubles, then went and spoke to the head mods who have no idea what they are doing and got unbanned. Only a couple of the actual people pushing the hacker narrative got banned.

Can I get a quick rundown on Q?

4channer making up wild stories like the CIA got raided by Marines, Trump is actually helping Saudis clean house of child rapists, basically just a Trump Science-Fiction Novelist.

Calm Clam Before The Stormy

cum before the stormy

Might be the best comment you’ll make for a while honestly 😂

I'll take it!

How the fuck did she keep a dress stained with cum on it around for 15 years? Like did she know she might get some cash at some point so she had it vacuum sealed? Sperm doesn't last that long outside of a body

She got a $130,000 payment from a last year for signing an NDA, which the dumbfuck lawyer then broke.

which the dumbfuck lawyer then broke

Do you mean when he said that he paid her out of his own pocket? Hasn't this Stormy Daniels stuff been floating around for a while now, even before that?

If you had a dress with cum on it, and that dress belonged to a very wealthy, married man, with political goals, would you not keep it around?

Do you have any idea how much money something like this is worth? What people would pay for it?

Zero dollars. That's how much it is worth. No one gives a shit about Trump's sex life.

You are out of your fucking mind if you think this is worth zero dollars.

And by out of your mind I mean detached from reality.

Now look. /u/_Mellex_ is wrong, there's one person who gives a shit about Trump's sex life and did in fact pay a bunch of money to hush this story.

But on the other hand it's you who are completely detached from reality if you think that there are people beside that person who care in any consequential way.

Anti-trump people would treat this as a thing du jour to reee about (hypocritically, because they claim to not care about family values), then add it as a size 8 font addendum to the list of Trump's crimes against womynkind, the pro-trumpers would summarily dismiss it as irrelevant (and rightfully so) (but also hypocritically, because they claim to do care about family values).

Trump won by razor-thin margins in a few states that carried him to victory.

If stuff like this shaves off even a few evangelical voters it matters.

assuming that there exist even a few evangelical voters who care about one of theirs being promiscuous

laughingwhores.jpg

Trump is not immune to the fundamentals. He will lose their support if the stories keep stacking up.

Trump is not immune to the fundamentals. He will lose their support if the stories keep stacking up.

"Trump had extramarital sex with many women who just couldn't resist a millionaire grabbing them by the pussy" trumps "Trump had sex with a $1000 whore, or at least ejaculated on her dress because she didn't allow him to ejaculate in her pussy".

I mean, from the evangelical POV, everyone else just don't care at this point.

More particularly, I suspect that everyone who wasn't pushed away by the former has the relevant parts of their brains calcinized and wouldn't be pushed away by the latter. They just ignore it. Just pretend they never heard it.

Trump won by razor-thin margins in a few states that carried him to victory. If stuff like this shaves off even a few evangelical voters it matters.

RENT FREE

And by out of your mind I mean detached from reality.

Dude is a MAGAtard who posts in /r/conspiracy. I think "detached from reality" is a bit too nice.

You are a follower, and take orders from your masters to troll from drama, sad life, might as well create another account and start over, when you fall off that horse.....

Who the fuck are you?

ahhh there you are.... how ya doing.... yea i am going to follow you around that cool with you?

Whatever you do in your flyover trailer is fine with me Bubba. I'm just going to continue ignoring you like the world at large does. Carry on, useless.

cool man, so do you post mainly from drama????... i am new and need someone too shadow, and figue i can help you create drama and add someone too your life, it will be like you have a friend.

i do not think you are continuing ignoring me, as you respond alot, but it is ok if you do, i am going to takeethee strat to talk to the person you are trolling and we can team up and see if i can make your trolling xp unique, you got a friend in me brudda

hahahahaha

how is this downvoted

/r/politics would pay millions for it if anyone of them had jobs.

It was literally already worth $130,000.

This is the stupidest comment I’ve ever seen on reddit

with political goals

He was a reality show host that just got out of bankruptcy 15 years ago.

He was a reality show host that just got out of bankruptcy 15 years ago.

lol Donald Trump has been blathering about running for office since the 90s. You really should learn more about your Daddy.

Tons of tards have talked about running for office, Trump put his hat in for the reform party back in 2000 and pulled out immediately because he fucked up the paper work. Plus if he was really serious about running for office you think liberals would have taken him more serious

Motherfucker I'm not talking about his legitimacy, just mansplaining to you that your cheeto has had political goals for a long time. Also:

you think liberals would have taken him more serious

he's the President and still no one takes him seriously. Your point?

SOooo true brudda..... man where do you come up with these.... you must have a team of trollls..... teach me the ways to be as clever as joo

cheeto ... hahaha ... because trumps skin color is orange and so is a cheeto... i get it now :P

You're a retard that's my point

You're a retard that's my point

"Oh shit, I've been proven hilariously wrong...I know! I'll throw out a random insult, that means I'm right!"

Standard Trumpie intelligence. NEXT!

You start flinging your bullshit lies and then accuse me of doing the same? Typical SRDine behavior. We don't need any more of you in this subreddit

Sorry your butt is so hurt :( Study up more on Daddy and in the future you'll do better :)

Typical SRDine behavior

Now THAT's good trolling.

you just keep on winning.... just like trump, man you are so good at trolling and arguments, i am learning a lot from this shadow

because he fucked up the paper work.

You mean because he couldn't get enough signatures to get on a ballot?

Yeah, well so does Jesse Ventura but

so did Jerry Springer, but

so does Al Franken but

so does Clint Eastwood, and

Well, so does Chelsea

I'm hoping she has a Cosby stain and a Michael Moore stain.

If you had a dress with cum on it, and that dress belonged to a very wealthy, married man, with political goals

Don't you mean "that cum"?

I guess you're technically correct.

would you not keep it around?

no, but I guess that’s why I’m not a woman anymore

DNA will absolutely last that long outside of a cell. No intact sperm necessary.

Trump needs target practice if his cum ended up on her dress.

Now I don't really care about american politics, but I know google once Pence. Do these people realize that of they impeach Donaldo now, they will get fucked in the end?

America do you really want Mike Pence as your president, 'cause he would bring a lot more than just a drama?

Burgerland. Where fucking a consenting prostitute is worse than giving a pardon to Arpaio. Aka the dude who tortured immigrant and ignored rapes to concentrate on fucking over latinos.

mfw.

man that’s just the start of it. Joe’s a straight-up crime-thriller/video game villain

don’t even get me seriousposting about Arpaio i could go on for awhile

I get it. I am someone convinced that the president shouldn't have the power to pardon people, and this is exactly why.

I think SOMEONE should have pardon power, that much makes sense. I just don’t know who. Maybe it should be its own elected position

I think SOMEONE should have pardon power, that much makes sense.

I don't think so. Not only for the separation of power, but also to have a justice system that make sense.

After all, punishing people and releasing them afterward would make the previous condemnation useless. So either the justice wasn't impartial (in wich case you need to judge it again), or the law was unjust (in which case you change the law).

And now I am seriousposting on /r/drama. Shame on me.

Well it's supposed to err on the side of innocence. If there was an error in the other direction that can be proven eventually, there should be some kind of failsafe. But maybe it should be part of the appeals system

Christ trump has low standards. What a nasty pussy.

so wat if he banged a pornstar while his wife was pregnat your not perfect EITHER! no one is

right? it’s like, out of all the women you could literally buy

These hoes trifilin 😂😂😂

The trump defense is going to be, "There are millions of women with my cummies on their skirts!"

there won't be any defense because no one who isn't a dumblrina pays any attention to this liar

when you’re constantly jacking off into the wind, it’s bound to get on a couple outfits

In picture 2 of that gallery, the guy Travis Knight has a permanently bent and erect dick because he injected some shit into it to keep it hard for a shoot and it warped his cock. His wife, Gina Lynn, is the one who told that story.

what gallery

what

On Wednesday, a manager for Daniels, whose real name is Stephanie Clifford, told the Associated Press that a non-disclosure agreement the actress signed to keep the president’s secrets is no longer valid.

That’s because Trump’s personal attorney Michael Cohen violated the agreement himself by disclosing on Tuesday that he personally paid Daniels $130,000 in “a private transaction,” just before Election Day, Gina Rodriguez, a manager for Daniels, told the Associated Press. Cohen’s disclosure to The New York Times was followed by a story in the Daily Beast that reported that the lawyer was shopping a book proposal that would address Daniels’ story.

Pres surrounds himself with short-sighted self serving idiots or he's so cheap he can't get his own attorney to shut up.

little of both prolly

As fun as this is i bet 100 soros bucks that if the DNA tests match donny then his supporters will call it a jew doctor false flag.

i bet they just don’t find anything on the dress anyway, but two months later the pictures finally turn up

Or both of theirs

And then Stormy rips off her wig and it's M. Night.

I think it will be Hillary Clinton’s sperm.