Hello, /r/drama, I am MasterLawlz's mother. Due to being unable to post in this community for the past few days, he decided to take his own life and intentionally overdosed on my signature chicken fingers, which he referred to in his suicide note as "mummy's tendies".

255 2018-04-21 by MasterLawlz

My son seemed very active in this community. Rather than seeking employment or establishing social bonds with other human beings, he decided to spend most of his time here commenting with you lot. I rarely visited his room as it typically stank of dried semen and moldy leftovers and I was unable to afford any kind of cleaning supplies because he typically maxed out my credit cards paying for various pornographic films that typically featured animated Japanese girls.

Master Lawlz (that is his real birth name, believe it or not. I named him because at a young age I knew he would be a meme extraordinaire) was also terminally ill. He built a life support device that was powered by the upvotes he received from /r/drama. After this recent shutdown, his machine failed to receive power, and rather than die an agonizing death, he asked one last time that I cook him my signature chicken fingers (again, which he referred to as tendies) and ate them until he choked. In his suicide note, he blamed the admins, the users of something he referred to as "MensLib" (I am unsure what that means), and someone by the name of ComedicSans. He said that his only regret in life was that he did not get more upvotes and eat more tendies.

Thank you all for being there for him in his life. He often said the messages he received from you all telling him to kill himself were the highlight of his day, his week, his month, and sometimes even his year.

Also, he wrote an addendum that simply said "P.S. Fuck Wil Wheaton although Stand By Me is a great film". I'm not sure how that's relevant but I imagine it means something to you all.

Thanks for reading.

60 comments

1 ComedicSans 2018-04-21

😊 MFW /U/MASTERLAWLZ'S MOTHER WRITE BACK TO ME.

1 casprus 2018-04-21

Nigger nigger nigger nigger nigger

1 Reformed_Hacker 2018-04-21

I love this place

1 Neronoah 2018-04-21

Eww

1 Danktron 2018-04-21

Does she have massive sagging tiddies like I've seen in the incest milf videos on the onlines?

1 itoucheditforacookie 2018-04-21

They are shaped like chicken tenders made from real chicken breast meat.

1 FlooferzMcPooferz 2018-04-21

Is there a summary post on what happen?

1 SnapshillBot 2018-04-21

Now with added cancer!

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1 MasterLawlz 2018-04-21

Yes, that is what he was having to deal with in his final days. Thanks for your understanding.

1 UmbellateSaxhorn 2018-04-21

1 PlvGdm 2018-04-21

1 uniqueguy263 2018-04-21

1 ashent2 2018-04-21

1 hexane360 2018-04-21

1 PoorLilMarco 2018-04-21

1 cmakk1012 2018-04-21

1 UniversityDaniel 2018-04-21

This is the quality content™ that I come to r/drama for

1 casprus 2018-04-21

1 uniqueguy263 2018-04-21

Goodbye

1 ticktockwarrior 2018-04-21

kill yourself lawls

1 POST_GUSSY 2018-04-21

1 wokeaspie 2018-04-21

He would still be here if you let him wash down those tendies with mummy juice from your milkers. I blame you.

1 EarnestNoMeta 2018-04-21

milk truk ariv

1 DumNerds 2018-04-21

better jokes better rhymes please

1 Rachel_Hazmat 2018-04-21

Aww😕 we finally got to him 😔😔

1 AlveolarPressure 2018-04-21

Tfw when MasterLawlz's mom writes better shitposts than he does

1 Keith_Moonpie 2018-04-21

pls don't be mean to /u/wil he seems like a nice guy

1 Death_Trolley 2018-04-21

This but ironically

1 Power_Incarnate 2018-04-21

What did Wil Wheaton do this time?

1 Its_Not_Over_Yet 2018-04-21

Aside from being his usual obnoxious cumstain self?

1 itoucheditforacookie 2018-04-21

https://twitchy.com/samj-3930/2018/04/19/moon-rocks-wil-wheaton-endorsing-brianna-wu-for-congress-is-the-funniest-thread-youll-read-today/

1 bagelsville_satanist 2018-04-21

For Wheaton, that basement was his sanctuary.

1 Ed_ButteredToast 2018-04-21

r/BUSSYLMAO

1 Minimum_T-Giraff 2018-04-21

RIP mayofilfth

1 RueysSoulDiegosFight 2018-04-21

Hoy shit! I finally know who Wil Wheat Thins is! I once kind of saw Stand By Me. Or I heard that one..uh, adult child actor who was diddled by everyone talk about it. I can't remember.

Anyway, sorry about your loss. If it makes you feel better, it wasn't really a loss.

1 Honk4Tits 2018-04-21

He got touched in a place where no more an has gone before. He called it his final frontier.

1 WorldStarCroCop 2018-04-21

but what about all the good things his parents didn't do to xim.

1 FrostBittenSalsa 2018-04-21

Post bussy

1 high_side 2018-04-21

Did you get that vag thing taken care of?

1 shamwu 2018-04-21

O7 another dramanaut is exploring heaven

1 ErinMichelle_42 2018-04-21

yeah thats naut where mean user-pingers go

1 shamwu 2018-04-21

It was all for naut then

1 jaredschaffer27 2018-04-21

I am a bigot. There, I admitted it. I have a prejudice against one group of people that causes me to immediately dislike them and view their actions with suspicion. Mods are, to me, the 21st century equivalent of PTA and HOA members and one should gaze upon a mod the same way he would a convicted child molester or someone who got a degree in city planning.

But I still missed you bro.

1 _Suprememe_ 2018-04-21

All mayo must be spread, but some are more difficult than others.

1 YummyCummies 2018-04-21

based mom

1 Its_Not_Over_Yet 2018-04-21

1 Death_Trolley 2018-04-21

Pour a 40 on the curb for Lawlz

1 Its_Not_Over_Yet 2018-04-21

So Ms. Lawlz, are you, uh, seeing anyone?

1 TheOtherGuy9603 2018-04-21

Username checks out