The New York Times, leading publisher of liberal erotica, brings you the sizzling tale of Pocahontas and the swing voters. Sparks will fly as Pocahontas teams up with the valiant knight Eric Holder to dethrone the evil, feckless, orange howler monkey.

10  2018-07-30 by jorio

56 comments

I may be home schooled, but I'm smart enough to see the evidence for the Jewish agenda in the MSM, Hollywood, government, etc...

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This, but unironically.

Snapshots:

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and?

It's not really surprising or ntoeworthy that it's retarded.

It is, however, surprising and noteworthy that the Reddit comments commonly featured on this sub are retarded?

Definitely, because retarded comments produce drama. Retarded news articles normally just produce retarded circlejerking from the opposing side.

So it is surprising and noteworthy that Reddit comments are retarded because if it wasn't people might write things you disagree with in the posts comment section?

Anyway, never fear, apparently r/drama has an NyTimes defense force.

Can your read?

retarded comments produce drama. Retarded news articles normally just produce retarded circlejerking from the opposing side.

Oh, I remember that comment. I asked a troll question that pointed out that you're disingenuously trying to construct some kind of idiotic standard that my post has somehow violated when in reality your buttmad that someone might come along and bash a news outlet that you like. Good times.

bash a news outlet that you like.

I literally called the linked article retarded.

You didn't call the news outlet retarded though. Do you believe the New York Times is retarded?

No, but I do believe that the article is retarded. Saying that I'm whteknighting for them when I called their article retarded makes 0 sense.

It makes lots of sense if you don't want of defend the actual article, you're mostly white knighting yourself at this point though. Your attempt to concoct some non-butthurt sounding explanation for why you didn't like my post got you backed into a corner. Now you're trying to bullshit your way out of that corner.

The is just a counterpoint to their why Trump will win piece.

You're kind of a doofus.

Stephens piece was an obtuse way for a Republican to give advice to Democrats, this is using that as an excuse to concoct a fantasy that has no reason to exist besides for being liberal spank material.

You shat the bed on this one. Admit it and take the L.

What are you talking about? This is way better than fake in internet points that I already have an assload of.

Imagine bragging about your karma.

Oh, when I think about my time here on reddit, I don't think about it in terms of ups and downs or winners and losers, I think about it in terms of the lives that I've touched. Gifts on my behalf have helped pay for 231.26 minutes of reddit server time. Reddit servers deliver information that save lives and inspire children all over the world to become cancer curers. That's what I'm really proud of, that I was able to be a part of that. Because if you're a part of something, you're not a part of nothing. - /u/jorio

I know this is pasta, but Reddit's gold minutes algorithm is hilariously outdated; 23.6 minutes is like 1 gilding.

I think you mistaking this for delicious pasta counts as a street gilding. I'm up to two. Who's out of date now motherfucker.

It should be noted that I’ve upvoted every single person who’s disagreed with me here, as far as I know.

That said.

In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn’t do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area.

An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they’d consider it to be within the margin of error for that test.

My mother’s boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He’s not particularly successful as an engineer, but I’ve met lots of other engineers who aren’t as good as me at physics, so I’m guessing that’s not just a result of him being bad at it.

I’m also pretty good at engineering. I don’t have a degree, and other than physics I don’t have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan).

I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I’ve come across. Every question of existentialism which I’ve seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven’t been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I’ve considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is.

Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there’s no aspect of psychology which I don’t have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud’s theories.

I’m a good enough writer that I’m writing a book and so far everybody who’s read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that’s not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I’ve heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it.

I don’t know if that will suffice as evidence that I’m intelligent. I’m done with it, though, because I’d rather defend my maturity, since it’s what you’ve spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code.

I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn’t just faking it, I’d even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self’s actions, it shouldn’t be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them.

I don’t believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren’t harming others. I don’t have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don’t care what a person’s fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don’t have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that’s not really an impressive moral, but it’s unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things.

I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone.

I’m pretty much a pacifist. I’ve taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I’ll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don’t attack, I’ll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don’t fight back. I’ve therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I’m never in a situation where I’ll be worse off after a fight. If I’m not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don’t care.

The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I’ll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I’d prefer to do that over killing them.

I consider myself a feminist. I don’t believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it’ll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit “women are crazy” circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don’t think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren’t awesome.

That doesn’t mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don’t believe it’s fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything’s OK when it’s really not (and that’s a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that).

I’m kind of tired of citing these examples and I’m guessing you’re getting tired of reading them, if you’ve even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I’m pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments).

And, uh, I’m a pretty good moderator.

All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?

"internet points that I already have an assload of."

unironically bragging about karma

look at this faggot 😂 😂 😂 😂

I too agree that the standards of /r/drama should not be reduced to trash from the new york times. Let us get our news from reliable sources like Alex Jones and celebrity click bait magazine

It's interesting how Elizabeth Warren used opposite opposite strategies in those articles

If the Times is going to write literal fan-fiction they can at least try to made it not retarded. Look at this shit:

Donald J. Trump, who spent much of the past four years as a historically unpopular president

Friendly reminder that Obama had very Trumpian approval numbers his entire second term and nobody gave a shit. Once you factor in the shy Trump voter effect and the fact that Trump is a genuinely unlikable retard it's basically a dead heat. It's almost as if we live in an extremely polarized political climate and absent exigent circumstances approval ratings are capped at a hair over 50 percent, or something.

with stagnant wages, rickety health insurance and aggressive challenges from China and Russia

Every word in this phrase is false, except the bit about Russia. If you're going to shit on Daddy at least make it believable, like he accidentally dropped an N-bomb during the State of the Union or got caught fucking Ivanka by Mike Pence.

President-elect Elizabeth Warren

>implying the Democrats run another mayo

>implying the Democrats care about economic issues

>implying corporations give Elizabeth Warren money, ever

help from Russia

As least they're honest about still pushing this meme in 2020.

James Comey, the then-F.B.I. director who now hosts an ABC talk show

Nigga what.

There's probably firther retardation but I can't be bothered to read this shit anymore.

If the New York Times is going to write literal fanfiction they could at least make the effort to make it not retarded. I mean look at this shit:

Donald J. Trump, who spent much of the past four years as a historically unpopular president

Friendly reminder that Obama had very Trumpian approval numbers for almost all of his second term and nobody gave a shit. When you account for the shy Trump voter phenomenon and the fact that Trump is a genuinely unlikeable retard it's basically a dead heat. It's almost as if we live in highly polarized political times, or something.

with stagnant wages, rickety health insurance and aggressive challenges from China and Russia

Literally every word of this phrase is untrue, except the bit about Russia.

President-elect Elizabeth Warren

>implying the Democrats run another mayo

>implying the Democrats care about economic issues

>implying the Democrats don't double down on muh idpol

>implying any corporation willingly gives money to Elizabeth Warren, ever

the help from Russia

At least they're honest about (1) Trump not ever getting impeached, and (2) This meme still existing, in spite of (1) and a general lack of evidence.

James Comey, the then-F.B.I. director who now hosts an ABC talk show

Nigga what

There's probably further retardation but that's as far as I'm willing to read this shit.

general lack of evidence.

I mostly agree with your comment, but what? Russian influence is very much proven; US intelligence agencies have confirmed it.

A lack of evidence of Trump colluding with Russia to fuck with shit, not of Russia fucking with shit.

Ah, didn't read your comment right then.

Friendly reminder that Obama had very Trumpian approval numbers for almost all of his second term and nobody gave a shit. When you account for the shy Trump voter phenomenon and the fact that Trump is a genuinely unlikeable retard it's basically a dead heat. It's almost as if we live in highly polarized political times, or something.

Trump voters are anything but shy lol

Why is it then that the state level polls were so off, and only in one direction? also anecdotally, most the Trump supporters I know are fairly low key about it because retarded millennial lefties will begin conversations at social events with sneering questions like "you don't like that idiot Trump, DO YOU?"

I'm a Trump fan like any other retard, but I'm backpacking Europe atm. Fucking zero percent chance I tell that to girls I'm trying to intercourse.

You should up that percentage. Unashamed Trump support + excessive American patriotism results in really good hate fucks.

You know, that works on liberal American women, but I've been advised by multiple people the euro ladies don't see your Trump support as "tough individualist american man" so much as "that retarded kid in the corner."

I've been advised by multiple people the euro ladies don't see your Trump support as "tough individualist american man" so much as "that retarded kid in the corner."

You might want to spend some time thinking on why that might be 🤔🧐

I'm in a country where carrying a pointed pen and denying certain historical events happened is illegal. Euro types are effete faggots and I'm an idahoan hippie/redneck. Doesn't need a doctoral dissertation.

I'm an idahoan hippie/redneck.

Sweety, it's also the rest of Americans, not just Europeans, that don't like your kind. Even the rest of Idahoans see you for the subhuman inbred you are.

Other people not liking me isn't as wounding to me as it is to euros and American leftists. I'm separated from you fucks by either an ocean or a forest the size of Ireland.

It isn't true that state level polls were only off in one direction. There were several states where Clinton was underestimated. Furthermore, Trump's overperformance worked exactly the opposite of how you would expect if "shy Trump factor" was the explanation; he tended to overperform more in red states, and underperform in blue states.

Also, polling errors just happen and in different years they go in different directions. The polls underestimated Obama in 2012, does that mean there was a shy Obama effect?

aggressive challenges from China and Russia

As if they wouldn't challenge us if we elect somebody else.

Democrat is in power, time to cave like when they took Crimea.

Man, I miss when agenda posts where slightly more subtle in their titles.

Now it’s just the local MDE/T_D retard slapping up, “hurr durr liberal erotica, I made a funny guys!”

My agenda is what exactly?

Smearing your smugma all over our screens.

Well, yeah, that and your mothers stupid fucking face, but that's what I'm doing all the time. I was asking about this post specifically.

Le drumphf.

read 983 comments

Jesus

OH NONONONONO

DAAAMN NIGGA THATS SOME GAY SHIT RIGHT THERE

AHEM

it's "Fauxcahontas"

or if you must, "Liewatha"

The same Eric Holder that gave guns to cartels and lost them? Wow! What a guy.

I dunno. Elizabeth Warren is a spunky candidate, super deft and as good as Trump with the pithy punches. Her message is focused on the economy and keeps the transgender identity politics at a moderate level. It would be hard to diminish it with cracks about gender neutral bathrooms! The Pocahontas thing is mean to begin with and getting very old. Pair all that with a young and energetic progressive and a good ground game in PA and FL and it’s a win.

I hope this is a copypasta

si

ORANGE.MAN.BAD

The evil, feckless, howler monkey's team has there own tricksy stoner swinger. Though their cuckolding enthusiast is being grounded. And some plague spread by Ratus family values has other senior team members gated. Though one's wife is pushing him to jump from the 3 floor window into the blanket being held by 2 elderly team lawyers. And another is ignoring being associated with illegal acts with young goats and is back on the teat of the evil, feckless howler monkey's team's supporter great sow spreading calumny.