Doubt it. I've met a few and had one as a co-worker in an analyst level role. Great with math and could write some basic scripts within his spreadsheets. But bat-shit crazy when it came to Evolution.
Things like, scientists are wrong about Carbon Dating because Sunlight hits the earth and washes it away.
Or major erosion like the grand canyon were caused by the Noahs ark flood.
And if all else fails, its a test of faith put there by God.
I work with a lovely woman who is well educated, intelligent, and a total Creation myth believer. Evolution is a myth, dinosaurs and man walked the earth together, oh and there’s still pterodactyls still flying the skies in Texas, you just can’t see them.
In other words religious fundies are funny as fuck until they’re the next office over.
Dear coworker: I want to fuck the conservative out of you. I can't help myself. Every time you come into my office with your low cut shirt and cross necklace subtly splayed across your immaculate breasts I think about taking you, right there, as a man (with your consent, of course, rape culture is not okay). I want to pull off your panties and eat your pussy until your juices trickle down to the lower classes. I want you to moan so hard and so loud that you can't form coherent words, let alone talk about what Rush Limbaugh said about immigrants the other day.
Each time 'those people' crosses your lips I think about your mouth wrapped around my prodigious cock as my little people spill out of it. I want to make an anchor baby with you. I want to throw all the papers off my desk and ride you until gay marriage is legal in a majority of States or until you've come enough times to admit that maybe universal health care makes sense. And I mean all this respectfully, of course. I'm a feminist.
Why do you do this to me. Why. Do you know what you're doing? Every time you come into my office and sit across from me and cross and recross your legs and talk about the weather and then (somehow) about how unemployment insurance is actually bad for poor people do you know that I'm wondering if your panties are equally as conservative? That I'm curious what you'd look like on top of me, my hands tweaking your nipples like doing so would be tweaking taxes on the top one percent? That I'm thinking about you looking back at me as I fuck you from behind, your Jesus necklace swaying back and forth as you scream "Drill, baby, drill!"
You're not crazy, just politically hypocritical. Social conservatism is selfish and untenable. Your adherence to laws written when people owned slaves and the largest city was 1/10th of what it is now is ruining this god damn country. And I want you so bad. I want you so so bad.
Ugh. Be my Monica Lewinsky. I'll be your Bill Clinton. Let's reach across the aisle... and into each other's pants.
11 comments
1 SnapshillBot 2018-08-09
This is not the time or place for another black-dick joke
Snapshots:
I am a bot. (Info / Contact)
1 Fr33_Lax 2018-08-09
I feel like that's a joke that nobody else is in on, are they fucking with us?
1 but-uh 2018-08-09
Doubt it. I've met a few and had one as a co-worker in an analyst level role. Great with math and could write some basic scripts within his spreadsheets. But bat-shit crazy when it came to Evolution.
Things like, scientists are wrong about Carbon Dating because Sunlight hits the earth and washes it away. Or major erosion like the grand canyon were caused by the Noahs ark flood.
And if all else fails, its a test of faith put there by God.
1 allwordsaredust 2018-08-09
“Test of faith” is my favourite argument, because you can use it against any evidence without having to think at all.
That and “doubt is the devil in your brain”, which teaches you to never entertain the possibility that you’re wrong.
It’s amazing the mechanisms we can come up with to support our own delusions against all evidence.
1 rationalhuckleberry 2018-08-09
I work with a lovely woman who is well educated, intelligent, and a total Creation myth believer. Evolution is a myth, dinosaurs and man walked the earth together, oh and there’s still pterodactyls still flying the skies in Texas, you just can’t see them.
In other words religious fundies are funny as fuck until they’re the next office over.
1 opi 2018-08-09
The Jurassic Park was a documentary, bro
1 rationalhuckleberry 2018-08-09
Funny enough I brought tht up once. “They got it wrong, real dinosaurs were feathered?”
“Oh, how do you know?”
“The fossil record.”
“But those fossils show no humans back then and are millions of years old....”
“Fake. Humans were just buried properly and we don’t dig them up. The earth is only a few thousand years old.”
“..........I’m going to go call my most annoying client and listen to them for a while.”
1 cmakk1012 2018-08-09
Leave this note on her desk:
Dear coworker: I want to fuck the conservative out of you. I can't help myself. Every time you come into my office with your low cut shirt and cross necklace subtly splayed across your immaculate breasts I think about taking you, right there, as a man (with your consent, of course, rape culture is not okay). I want to pull off your panties and eat your pussy until your juices trickle down to the lower classes. I want you to moan so hard and so loud that you can't form coherent words, let alone talk about what Rush Limbaugh said about immigrants the other day.
Each time 'those people' crosses your lips I think about your mouth wrapped around my prodigious cock as my little people spill out of it. I want to make an anchor baby with you. I want to throw all the papers off my desk and ride you until gay marriage is legal in a majority of States or until you've come enough times to admit that maybe universal health care makes sense. And I mean all this respectfully, of course. I'm a feminist.
Why do you do this to me. Why. Do you know what you're doing? Every time you come into my office and sit across from me and cross and recross your legs and talk about the weather and then (somehow) about how unemployment insurance is actually bad for poor people do you know that I'm wondering if your panties are equally as conservative? That I'm curious what you'd look like on top of me, my hands tweaking your nipples like doing so would be tweaking taxes on the top one percent? That I'm thinking about you looking back at me as I fuck you from behind, your Jesus necklace swaying back and forth as you scream "Drill, baby, drill!"
You're not crazy, just politically hypocritical. Social conservatism is selfish and untenable. Your adherence to laws written when people owned slaves and the largest city was 1/10th of what it is now is ruining this god damn country. And I want you so bad. I want you so so bad.
Ugh. Be my Monica Lewinsky. I'll be your Bill Clinton. Let's reach across the aisle... and into each other's pants.
1 rationalhuckleberry 2018-08-09
Yes, I’ll leave that copy pasta in a law firm. In California.
1 cmakk1012 2018-08-09
you’re right, write your own, original sex note
The point is that you should fuck your coworker
1 rationalhuckleberry 2018-08-09
“Hey Crazy Fundy,
Get over here, I’m gonna crucify you with one nail.
Sincerely, Pending HR Complaint”